When Sirius woke up, a ray of sun was filtering through the nicely coloured curtains of Hermione's study, falling on his bed. It would have been nothing for most people, but for him, who had spent so many years in dark places, it was beautiful.

He smiled as he remembered the previous day. He was back from behind the Veil, in Hermione's flat. Hermione. What a feat she had accomplished for his sake ! And what a gorgeous young woman she had become ! And still as brilliant, as kind and thoughtful as the lovely teen he remembered. The whole evening had passed as if he was under a spell, the simple sight of her being able to make him lose his train of though. Fortunately, she was the one who had done most of the talking, telling him about all what he had missed. She didn't seem to have noticed the effect she had on him. He sighed. Falling in love with his godson's best friend would be the last of the endless series of mistakes that his life seemed to be. Hermione certainly cared deeply for him, she had proved it more than enough, but she saw him as a friend, and she deserved much better anyway. A man her age, with a promising future, as brilliant, as wise and kind as she was, if such a man actually existed.

For now, he had to stop being in her way, and find a place of his own. Then maybe he would come to his senses. He got up, and realized suddenly that he felt well rested, better than he had felt for years before falling beyond the Veil. He suddenly wondered if his stay in that peaceful, mysterious place where he had been able to meet James, Lily, even Regulus, all his deceased loved ones, could have freed him from the Dementors' cruel imprint on his mind.

He made his way to the kitchen. Brekfast was magically getting ready while Hermione was reading the paper, frowning. She looked up and smiled at him :

"Did you sleep well ?"

"Perfectly so, as suprising as it can seem for someone who somehow slept for three years."

Hermione smiled. Sirius hadn't changed and could still make light of the worst events of his life.

"I have put some fresh towels in the bathroom for you. And I thought you'd liked to change clothes so I took some of your old ones at Grimmauld place. Nothing has been touched there."

"I don't know if I'll ever find a way to thank you properly for all what you've done for me", said Sirius softly.

Hermione blushed. "There's no need for that", she said. "My best reward is to have you back." With me, she wanted to add, but the words didn't came out.

Once Sirius had showered, they had breakfast together, making small talk. Hermione couldn't prevent herself from gazing at him any time he didn't look at her. His hair, still damp from the shower, fell in elegant waves around his face. His closely shaven face didn't show the signs of exhaustion she had always seen on it. And there was another, more subtle change that she had registered without being fully aware of it the previous day : it was as if the stigmatas of his long stay in Azkaban were gone, including the haunted look in his light grey eyes.

She cleared her throat and said : "I must go to the Department of Mysteries this morning. It's a good thing I've finished my report, for your return makes the Daily Prophet's headline. There must have been a leak. They don't give too much detail, fortunately, but my report will cut short any kind of stupid rumor. I'll stop at their office after my appointment with Bertram so I can give them my own account of what happened, and Dumbledore's letter."

"I'd like to go out a bit myself", said Sirius, "but I suppose it's better I stay inside untill the new of my return is official."

"I think so", said Hermione with an apologetic smile. "Even if you weren't already a celebrity, what with your escape from Azkaban, your links with Harry, or simply your status as the head of the House of Black, the Veil has been an object of speculation in the wizarding world for centuries. You can expect a spate of questions. I think that the Ministry would prefer your return to be officially announced before you start making public declarations."

Sirius's face darkened as he heard the words 'head of the House of Black', and he frowned at the prospect of all the questions he'd have to face. But Hermione knew how to get his smile back.

"But you won't be alone while I'm out", she said. "Remus ad Harry are coming. Remus took an exceptional leave to see you. Mac Gonnagal will take his class for a while. And Harry said he had a surprise for you, for all of us, in fact."

Sirius brightened immediately, but Hermione caught a flash of uneasiness in his eyes at Remus' name, and wondered once again what was the problem between the two men.

Hermione wasn't gone for two minuts when Sirius heard a knock at the door. When he opened it, Remus stood on the doorstep. The two men looked at each other, and suddenly Sirius found himself engulfed in Remus' arms. When he broke the embrace, Sirius saw tears in his eyes. Invincible Remus, crying ! Sirius had never seen that, even in the aftermath of the worst full moons.

"Sirius…, Remus chocked, I didn't think I would see you again… I didn't think I would have the chance at last to tell you how sorry I am… "

"What are you talking about ?" said Sirius, befuddled. "I'm the one who should ask for forgiveness, for the irreparable error in judgement I made about Peter."

"But we all made this mistake, Sirius", said Remus. "How could we have suspected Peter of being able to betray James ? He seemed to worship him."

"I think he did", said Sirius thoughtfully. "But as Hermione told me - she's so wise beyond her age- hero worship isn't friendship. Peter had always felt protected by James, but then he decided he had found a more powerful leader. Pathetic, disgusting little traitor."

Remus nodded. "Peter always followed James around like a pet. He was ready to do whatever he'd tell him. I realize now that we shouldn't have encouraged that, as flattering as it was for James. We were young and foolish. But I can't forgive myself for not having found a way of helping you. For all these years, I felt so useless. I know I couldn't be the Secret Keeper of course, for Voldemort could have come against me when I was at my weakest, after the full moon. But at least, I should have found a way to reach you. To hear your own version of the facts."

"You can't blame yourself for that, Moony », said Sirius gently. "Everyone thought I was guilty. All evidences were against me."

"I was your friend", answered Remus darkly. "I knew you. But when I came to see Dumbledore, asking him to do something, he told me that he was sure you were guilty."

"See ? It's not your fault. Dumbledore's another matter, by the way. I think you should read that letter. Hermione magicopied it before taking it to the Daily Prophet. You'll see that nothing was your fault."

Remus read the letter, his frown becoming deeper and deeper. Then he said angrily:

"Well, it seems that the old man had a lot to answer for. I trusted him so much ! Too much. I was so grateful he had accepted me at Hogwarts. I almost believed him."

"Almost ?" said Sirius softly.

"I was sure there was no way you could have betrayed James, I was sure that Peter's accusation couldn't be true"… but", added Remus with a sad, apologetic look, "I wasn't sure you hadn't actually killed Peter in a fit of anger, if you thought he was the traitor, the Muggles' death being collateral dammage. I'm so sorry."

"No wonder", sighed Sirius. "What I did during our fifth year showed what I was capable of."

Remus remembered well that morning when he had woken up in Hogwart's Hospital Wing, a very repentant Sirius at his side, who had explained, desperate for forgiveness : "Snape asked me what we were doing every full moon. It was just a question of time before he'd have put two and two together… He also threatened to tell Malfoy and Avery, to have them spying on us as well. The idea of you being exposed, of people like them knowing about you… I lost it, Remus. I wanted the sneaky bastard to pay for all the times he had snitched on us. I told him that every full moon it was possible to have access to a secret passage to Hogsmeade, by immobilising the Whomping Willow. I explained him how, and challenged him to try. I thought that if he found himself face to face with you, he would be out his mind with terror, and I could place a Memory Charm on him without him using his talents in occlumency. I wanted to follow him from a distance and to pull him out of your way at the last moment. But I remember thinking that if he was bitten, I didn't care that much, for this way, he wouldn't be able to expose you without exposing himself. I didn't consider how you would feel if that happened, or that he could get killed. I only realized it after James had begun running toward the Whomping Willow. I'm so sorry, Remus."

Remus had forgiven him, because he was Sirius, because he was his friend, the one who had first suggested they'd all become Animagi to help him, and because it was no less than a miracle anyway that Sirius had any kind of sense of right and wrong, considering who his parents were and in what kind of atmosphere he had lived. But Remus had remained somehow afraid that his friend, who often showed an incredible lack of self-preservation, would some day forget once more that his actions could have consequences for others that he hadn't paused to consider.

Remus came back to present as Sirius added : "What I did that night showed that I wasn't untainted by the darkness that runs so deep in my family's blood."

Remus shook his head. "You have nothing in common with your parents, don't start talking about family blood like them", he said in an attempt to lighten the mood. "I remember well how distraught you were for days after that episode. Besides, you never wanted anyone to be killed, not even Snape."

"Who would have known then that Snape would become anything else than a filthy Death Eater ? » mused Sirius. « From what Hermione told me, he actually died a hero. I misjudged him as well."

"He did die a hero", said Remus. "But nonethless I don't think he ever became a truly good person. What if the mother whose death he was partly reponsible for, by telling Voldemort about the prophety, hadn't been Lily ? Would he have had that change of heart ? I don't think so. He was only bound by his love for her. And you paid as an horrible price as him, in another way, for a few impulsive moves and the prejudices attached to your family name."

"If only I could have talked to you, and heard your story !", Remus continued, "I tried, you know. I was sure there was no way you could have betrayed James, which meant that you had gone against Peter because you thought he was the Secret Keeper. But James could have chosen someone else in the end, after all, someone less obvious. One of the Longbottoms, for example. Or Mcgonagall, or another member of the Order. But Dumbledore told me he was sure that it was you. And when I asked him to talk to you, or to find a way for me to be allowed to see you, he refused."

"He was right. With your condition, taking side with a supposed Death Eater would have been very dangerous."

"I tried, nonetheless", said Remus. "I managed to convince Frank Longbottom to see lawyers for me, but not a single one wanted to take the case, Crouch was too powerful. I even forged a false authorisation to go to Azkaban, but…"

"What ? » exclaimed Sirius.

"… but unfortunately, the document was sent to Mad Eye for checking. Dumbledore had a hard time pulling me out of this scrape, and he ordered me not to do anything of the kind again, for he wouldn't be able to save me twice."

"See ?" said Sirius, "You did anything you could, and even more. And yet you knew that a werewolf condemned as a Death Eater wouldn't even be sent to Azkaban, but to the Dementors' Kiss."

"Still, you remained in that hell for twelve years, while I went on with my life ! I should have done something else... Or at least try to see if Harry was ok. But Dumbledore had told me he wanted him out of the wizarding world untill he was eleven, and with my condition, I didn't know if it was wise for me to be in his life."

"You couldn't have done anything, Moony", repeated Sirius firmly. "Werewolves are tolerated, at best, in our world. You had enough to deal with on your own. How did you cope during all these years we no longer were with you to prevent you from harming yourself every full moon?"

"The best I could. But now, the wolfbane potion helps a lot", replied Remus, not eager to dwell on the subject. "So you're not angry at me ?" he added hopefully.

"Of course not", exclaimed Sirius. "Once again, I thought it was you who were angry at me, and that it was the reason why you seemed a bit aloof. I understood that, though."

"My God", whispered Remus. "So I even added to your tourments at Grimmauld place, without even realizing it, just because I was too much of a coward to properly apologize."

"Stop that", said Sirius almost angrily, "and never call yourself a coward. You're one of the bravest person I've ever met, and you did everything you could, and even a lot more, considering your own situation. And that's final. I don't want to hear one more word on the subject. Besides, I could have confronted you about your supposed resentment as well."

The two men smiled at each others, the shadows that had clouded their friendship all gone at last.

So you have a family, now", said Sirius after a pause. "I'm so happy for you. Tonks is such a wonderful girl. And I'm looking forward to seing Teddy."

Remus smiled. "Yes, I'm a happy man. And I realized it all the more that I thought for a moment that I had lost Dora. When I woke up, after the battle, she seemed dead and for a moment I wished I had stayed with her in that place…you know ? I vaguely remember you were there too, and James as well."

Sirius nodded. He understood perfectly. He had been at peace, in that strange, indistinct place that looked like the hall of some railway station. He too remembered confusely being with James, talking with him about Harry. But it had been like one of these dreams you sometimes have when you have lost someone you loved. While talking with James, Sirius had remained conscious, somewhere in the back of his mind, that it was only temporary, that James and Lily kept him company as if they were all waiting for a train that he only would take. He realized now that this place was probably some kind of anteroom of the realm of Death, a place one had to wait before coming back, or entering the hereafter.

"I too wouldn't have wanted to come back, if not for Harry… and because Hermione's face was the first one I saw when I woke up. But even if you had lost Tonks, you had the strongest reason for living. You have your son."

"Yes", smiled Remus. "And not only a reason for living. A reason for enjoying life too."

"That's why I have something for you », said Sirius firmly. He went to the drawer and retrieved the vial.

"This is the last vial of Nicolas Flamel's Elixir of Live", he said.

Remus too the vial and paused for a moment, thinking. "Dumbledore left it to you, didn't he ?" he asked. "Not to me. You're the one who should have it, to make up for all the years you lost."

"And what good would it do ?" asked Sirius. "I would be an old man with a young body, that's all. You, on another hand, need to be around as long as possible for Teddy."

Remus smiled. "You're hardly and old man. Besides, I'd rather say it's the other way around, for the moment. You're a young man, in thirty-five years old body."

"What do you mean ?"

"You didn't live your youth, Siri", answered Remus softly. "You spent it in an Azkaban cell. I marked you, scarred you, of course. But you barely experienced life as an adult. I remember pondering about that, at Grimmauld Place, after several observations. The way you fidgeted in you seat during the longest sessions of the Order, barely able to wait for a decision to be taken. The way you sometimes failed, for all your brilliant intelligence, to catch the carefully weighed allusions and understatements some of the members made, especially the ones involved in politics. The way you felt more at ease with Harry and his friends than with the oldest members of the Order. The way you were as bad at hiding your feelings as you were at twenty. Not all could be explained by your impulsive and fun-loving tendencies, especially as you didn't seem to have a lot of these left. You hadn't the chance to experience most of the things a man your age usually has, and that's why you sometimes felt out of place with us."

"Did I give you that impression ? Well, I suppose that would explain why Molly seemed to feel allowed to lecture me like a child", said Sirius with a loopside smile.

"Don't make light of what I'm saying. This is your chance to resume the thread of your life at the very moment it was cut off. You must take it."

"No. You must take it. I'm sorry, my friend, but you look ten years older than you should, and you know it."

"But that doesn't mean I will die sooner, Padfoot. The wolf is strong, as it was clearly shown by what happened when that Death Eater cursed me during the Hogwarts battle. I survived, and Dora as well, even if it's because I unwillingly made her share my curse", he added sadly.

"But fighting the wolf made you sick before the invention of the wolfbane potion. If you had indulged in the wolf's instincts every full moon, as Greyback did, for example, you wouldn't look that worn out. The Elixir would give you back the strength of your youth. » Remus sighed. « I had almost forgotten how stubborn you can be. All I can say is that I won't accept that vial from you. If you don't take it, I won't either."

Sirius smiled. "Hermione had foreseen that you would say that. She's certainly the most perceptive and empathetic person I've ever seen."

"You admire her a lot, don't you ?" said Remus with a rather strange tone. "How wouldn't I ?" answered Sirius dreamily.

At that moment, someone knocked at the door.

"That must be Harry", said Remus. "He told me he would join us later, I think he wanted to give us some time alone. Let's see what surprise he prepared for us."

I like Remus. That's why I always imagined that he'd had tried something to help Sirius. IMO, they were too close friends for Remus not to have had doubts about Sirius' supposed betrayal of James. So I put the blame on Dumbledore, (sorry for his fans). I don't like the idea that Sirius hadn't suggested Remus as the Secret Keeper because he suspected him, either. Why would he have suspected him rather than Peter ? The most obvious reason was his weakened state after each full moon.

My apologies for the grammar mistakes. I didn't have the help of my beta reader for that chapter.

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