DISCLAIMER: " "

Uhhh…I haven't watched or read CCS in years, but Tomoyo fell instantly for Sakura in third grade right? She was new, and Sakura gave her an eraser…whatever. Just tell me if I'm wrong. I hate inconsistencies. Anyway, going by my poor logic, that would make them in eighth grade, the second year of Japanese middle school.

III. Out

MY SASSY GIRL

This time of year always dampens my spirits. We're in the middle of second term, and the cherry trees are withering to Fall. The wind is relentless in its shouts, and my hair keeps getting in my eyes. Somehow Tomoyo's hair manages to fly with the breeze like a movie scene. Ah, she's so beautiful. I really think she should pursue modeling, and I've told her that too. But every time she retorts that I should be the model while she handles photo shoots. It's just that my mom was a model, and they're kind of simi—

"Sakura-chan has been strangely silent today. What are you thinking about?"

"OH! N-nothing important. What are we going to do at your house?"

"Hm…" she gets in a mock thinking stance with her hand below her chin. Before she can fluster me though…

"Forget I asked…will your mother be home? I haven't seen her in ages."

"Oh…" Tomoyo looks downcast for a moment. "She's on a business trip. She'll be busy until the end of winter holidays. The toy company has to implement many new ideas to keep its run in the competition. It makes sense I guess."

"Oh I'm sorry Tomoyo! I didn't mean to make you sad…"

"Sakura-chan never makes me sad!" she brightens automatically.

I stop abruptly, and she turns her head around at me questioningly. My head is down, and I think I'm shaking. "You don't have to lie to me anymore Tomoyo. My feelings can't always be protected. What about your feelings?" I shift my weight awkwardly from foot to foot. My hands are losing circulation as I squeeze them behind my back. "You've always taken care of me, shielding me from any pain possible. But if you're going through something, I want to um, share the load, lessen the burden. You know I'd do anything to help! And it doesn't annoy or bother me! I want to be apart of your life, just as you've been mine. When you told me about your feelings, I'll admit, I was a bit shocked. But in the end it all came together. WE worked it out together. Ano, I know I probably sound stupid now, but I'm really curious. What made you finally tell me?" I looked up to signal that she was supposed to speak.

Her eyes unfocus for a second before she begins. She is obviously taking off her mask. "In the beginning I had never planned to confess my feelings. I thought history was repeating itself all over again like with my mother and you—wait, you probably don't know about that. That's unnecessary for this story anyway. It always seemed you were meant to be with someone else than me. Yukito-san, Li-kun…I resigned to fate. Whoever you chose to be with would be best. Your happiness was and will always be of utmost importance to me."

"But I didn't even have you as a choice!"

"Our love isn't really what most people would consider conventional. But most importantly, I was afraid that my love could not fulfill you…in more ways than one."

"Eh?" I cock an eyebrow.

"It's okay Sakura. It amuses me when you're confused. Back to my explanation, it took quite the self-control to stifle my love for you. At times I wanted my own happiness. I wished more than anything that my own happiness was your happiness, but I bitterly laughed at the thought every time. That's why I confessed when Li-kun left. You seemed the same girl to me. I was shocked that you weren't depressed over the love of your life leaving. So I figured, well, probably more hoped, that maybe he wasn't. This was the first time that you weren't love-sick over someone, so I became selfish. I spilled my secret to you. After all, I'm only human…"

"No, no you're not!" I choke out. I can feel the tears forming. "You're just, just crazy! Even after all this time, you STILL blame yourself. Your love has NEVER hurt me. YOU have never hurt me. Yukito-san, Li-kun…they HAVE."

"But I'm making you cry now. You see, it's better if I just keep it to myself…"

"EHHH! NO NO! I'll stop crying. See? All better!" I make a sorry attempt at drying my face.

"Now you're being silly Sakura. If you have to force yourself so that I can be myself, it isn't worth it either."

"Then why don't be BOTH be ourselves?"

"That would be novel."

"What about when you confessed to me? Did you…maybe you just told me you loved me because you just wanted to make me happy? Deep down you knew I loved you most, 'cause you're smart like that." Now I'm really scared. I'm scared that Tomoyo would be insanely kind enough to do something like that, and I'm scared that my words aren't making any sense. Etou…I think I'm confusing myself.

"Are you trying to subtly tell me what you did Sakura-chan? Wait, let's just stop this. I couldn't bear the anticipated answer, so I'll just play the fool."

"What are you talking about? I don't know what I'm supposed to do! I'm so in love with you, but I end up screwing up ever—"

"What did you just say?" Tomoyo cut in rather abruptly.

"I screw u—"

"No, before that."

"I'm in love with you?"

Her eyes start to shimmer. A sort of bittersweet glow that I've never witnessed. "You've never said that to me. Well, I'm sure you've said you loved me, but you've never said you were IN love with me. I've wanted to hear those words from you for so lo—" Before she finishes she dashes at me and clutches my body while sobbing.

Goodness, this is awkward. First off, never have I seen Tomoyo actually cry. Next, I'm the one who always runs like a baby to Tomoyo. Lastly, did she not know this? I thought I had said it when she…uh oh. God, I'm awful. When she told me, I was so confused that I just did what felt right. I simply hugged her. I probably thought that was enough to let her know, but she's been waiting all this time for an answer.

I clumsily rub her back and bring my face to her head. Oh man…her hair smells like heaven. She has my uniform bunched up in the fists of her hands, and I just want to…wait, what was I going to say? Oh yea, I'm a baka, heartless baka… "Tomoyo, I—"

"Thank you…thank you." I gape stupidly at her head. I wish I wasn't taller, then maybe I could see her face… "It's all I ever wanted. I could die now, and it'd be okay. No, more than okay. Perfect. Who could ask for more than to die happily?"

I beam at her. I hypothesize that crying with her would make this even more depressing, and this isn't. Everything is out. It's time to really live this out. "I'll never stop asking, that's for sure! I'll force fate to let you live longer, so that I can make you not just happy, but the happiest person alive. And there are so many things we can do…"

This time, I'm the one dragging/carrying her through her gates and front door. The ball is in my court now, and I feel giddy. I don't really know what I'm going to do. Oh ho ho ho…she's gonna get it though. Something so unexpected and genius, so…

She somehow manages to overtake me and places the lightest of kisses on my mouth. I freeze like a deer in headlights. By now, we've reached her room, which is thankfully pretty dark save the fading afternoon sun. I know I look goofy. I can't help it really. After all, that was my first kiss…

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Okay, I know how readers are. I promise the next chappy will have some "intimacy" between the two.