Every Time

AN: I'm back, with another revised chapter. Japanese removed, as werethe lyrics.Review responses!

HMPrune - It breaks my heart when charries I love die, but sometimes a sad ending is best...

parsnip - You use a lot of big words. And good job, it takes quite a bit to motivate me.

audi katia - His life is in my hands... bwahaha... oh dear, I feel a power trip coming on...

Fred The Mutant Pickle - We do think a lot alike... it scares me too! Where do you read the manga online?

BaByXbOoX143 - kills me to type your name. Angsty goodness rules! My writing technique... I have a technique? Cool.

Holders-of-the-ShikonJewel - I tend to near-kill Miroku a lot... sorry. To answer your question, I've lived nearly fourteen years, and your philosophy is interesting.

Disclaimer: Nuh-uh.

Chapter 3: Tarnished

(Flashback)

Any dust that had been stirred in the movements formerly portrayed were still, fallen back to the soil. Languishing eyes of burnt sienna looked up, to watch a figure dissapear with the glinting of chain. Shouts came from behind her, however her ears were unhearing. A whimper was elicited from the body she knelt aside, drawing back her attentions.

Blood...

So much blood...

She could barely keep her eyes open, it was so empowering. Desperately trying to calm herself, she lifted a tremoring hand from her waist, and reached it towards the empty spaces where in her younger brother had been.

And more than ever, she wished to be dead.

(End Flashback)

Droplets of clean water dripped back into the small bowl, as two dainty, yet calloused hands wrung out a washcloth. Some of it splashed up the edges to spill onto the cool floor. Though the room was filled with beings, it felt ever so empty. The one with the cloth refused to speak much to the others, turning back to the monk. Beneath him, a make-shift blanket had been spread. In actuality, it was the skirt of the taijiya's normal outfit, as she had insisted on it's usage.

"Sango-chan..." Kagome murmured, reaching over to her friend. Her fingers brushed the wound on said girl's shoulder, causing her to wince.

"We should bandage this," Kagome stated, though Sango paid no heed.

"It's not important."

"But it could get infected, or-"

"Leave it, Kagome-chan, please!" the taijiya shook the girl off, eyes cold. Under her breath, barely heard; "I have to make sure at least one of them lives..."

Kagome balled her fists, unwilling to give up. She reached for her first-aid kit, hearing a snort from the doorway.

"It's useless, Kagome."

"But-"

The hanyou shook his head, giving heran arrogant look. "Y'know, maybe you were right then. But it's not in your hands, now is it?"

Kagome bit her bottom lip, communicating with him through her eyes. 'Right?' He must've meant... that day, quite a while ago, when she'd told him her theories of the growing relationship between the taijiya and the houshi. Well, it was sort ofobvious, wasn't it? Not obvious, no. But there, nonetheless.

'Even in the way she looks at him... and the way he looks away from her sometimes...'

And they thought their attempts at chicanery were adequate.

Snorting, Inuyasha crossed his arms and turned away. His footsteps could be heard down the empty hallway of the inn they were staying in. Fully paid for, of course, just one room. The only reason the villagers were even tolerating them was this apparent 'demon slaying', and Sango's thoughts were heavy on her shoulders.

'They thought Kohaku... was a demon...

'The look in his eyes wasn't human. It wasn't even alive! But I saw him! I did! Kohaku is still there!

'...isn't he?'

Kagome stood as well, hovering near behind her friend. Shippou had been shooed out, and was currently exploring the village, leaving only four in the room, including a sleeping Kirara.

"If you need us Sango-chan... We're... We're here for you."

The hand dabbing the washcloth on the man's forehead stopped. Her shoulders gave small movement, as if she were in pain, which Kagome didn't doubt she was.

"I'm sorry..."

Bowing her head, Kagome felt her own eyes begin to well with brackish liquids. "It's alright, Sango-chan..."

"I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"I understand."

Kagome took this as her cue to leave, but harboured no offenses towards the broken-hearted teen. She snuck one last look at the mismatched pair before heading down after Inuyasha, light on her feet. Sango waited until she was sure Kagome had leftbefore opening her eyes once more. It'd only been mear hourssince Kohaku had attacked. It seemed like years, as things always did. Why, was unknown.

And why her heart felt like it had died... well, she could only guess her own answer.

She looked down at him, sweeping back muddy black hair to reveal abrasions decorating his brow. Such a routine had become nearly common. Somehow, she always ended up tending to him. Not that she minded. It was something that needed to be done. And sometimes in his weakened state, she could almost see someone else behind his mask.

"But what would you say," she mumbled to him, groping for the disinfectant Kagome had brought, "If you were here now?"

She imagined his soft indathrene eyes opening, his breath a little more constant. Looking up at her. His actions would be obvious, but she would blindly play along. As always. It would be so much easier if things were like that. Even if he was being a lecher. She'd rather see him happy than tormented. Happiness was something that seemed so far away those days...

"Just pretend it's normal," she told herself, trying to erase weighted thought from her mind. She sprayed the disinfectant onto his face, making sure none dripped towards his eyes. Yes, it was just normal, and she was just playing nurse. She was caring for him with her hands, healing his wounds. She could do nothing for his heart.

"I can't help but pity you..." she spoke to the body, wiping away the blood dried sweat coating his temples. Silly, she knew, but the words just came!

"I was so fortunate... I had my father and brother," she lay the bangs flat against his forehead again, though they stayed messy, "I had Kirara... I had everything I wanted."

With what could almost be a sob, she began fussing with his hair, trying to push it down. Yet the tresses refused to be reasonable, and kept their shape. She wound a strand around her finger, testing it's strength and coarse texture, then let it unwind, as it fell off to his temple.

"And you..." she felt herself begin to break, "You had nothing, but nameless women passing you by. And yet... you seem happy... why do you seem so happy!"

She got fed up with making his hair orderly, and settled back on her ankles. A tearless sob echoed through the small room. The neko in the corner remained sleeping, leaving her mistress alone.

Sango let out a small cry, letting her heart breath. He did not wake from here sound or noise. Only his own injury plagued him, head jerking slightly as torment raked through his unconcious mind.The taijiyashuddered as well, backing up a little. She didn't want to leave him. But she didn't want to stay by him either. If he were to wake up in see her in such a state, worried and undone.

Tears forming again in her eyes, Sango looked down at her hands. They were shaking.

"Why...?" she mumbled to herself, not quite knowing what she herself had meant by the word. The image began to blur, shaking even more furiously as she began to lean into herself for support.

It was as if something were eating her from the inside...

"Oh, Gods... why?"

Her tarnished heart beat rapidly as the man beside her began to stir. A moan escaped his lips, a hand tightening against the cloth beneath him.

"Mi- Houshi-sama!" Sango nearly fell, as she pushed towards him, hair falling awkardy in her face. Blowing it away, she gazed down at the man, whose eyes had begun to open. Eyebrows furrowed, sweat rolling down pale skin.Slowly his lashes parted, and underneath was a frozen curtain of hazy solferino. Staring up at her, trying to grasp what was going on. He blinked a few times, as if his eyelids had been glued shut.

"Sa... San...go..."

She pushed all emotion back inside of her, trying hopelessly to slow her pulse. Gently she reached a hand beneath his head, letting him rest upon it. Still struggling, his fingers clawed at the material, reaching for a lost cause.

"Try not to talk," she said in a clipped voice. The monk gazed up at her again, his movements becoming more somniferous. With sharp inhalation, he turned suddenly on his side, letting out a short yelp, followed by coughing.

Blood splattered onto the ground.

Sango moved her other hand around to support him, trying to keep him from getting the crimson liquids all over his face. Just holding him there, a short distance from her, she felt more helpless than she ever had.Miroku let out a long breath, and Sango finally realized just how dampened her cheeks were. So much for keeping unattached. So much... for life...

"Sango..."

"I said don't speak, dammit!" she muttered angrily. She didn't even bother to get a cloth, just using her own fingers to wipe the blood from around his lips. And for once all she wanted him to do was to grope her and laugh. That was all she wanted. Oh, but she had wanted for so many things...

"I...Please, Sango..."

She removed her fingers from his murmuring lips, caught in his intense glare. Eyes half-closed, his hand moved to catch hers, tight. He shook, seeming so brittle. As if teetering, so close to the edge of death. Finally, he was able to regain himself, the taijiya's tears dropping onto his cheek. Small pools of water, soon mingled with his own.

"Please, kill me."

OooOo

End of Chapter 3