Chapter 11

The Letter

Lucilla knew Murig was right. She needed to tell someone in Rome what the wall was doing to a man as noble as Marcus. But the person she was to tell needed to be in a position where they could do no harm to Marcus or the knights. She was sitting down at a small desk, Murig had gotten Vanora to help Lucilla put some Fever's Foe and Lilac Blossom on her cut cheeks. Hopefully there would be no scarring.

Getting out a long piece of parchment Lucilla began to write:

My dear friend;

It has only been a few days since I last wrote you about the dealing of Britannia. But events here have urged me to explain to you what this wall has done to the man we used to call Marcus Patrious. –Lucilla took a deep breath, preparing herself for what she was about to write. – As you well know over the past three months of Marcus's rule over Britannia, his authority has slowly been declining.

Arthur Castus knows too well how to rule the wall and he truly knows what is best for the people and soldiers, including his Sarmatian Knights. Marcus was not given proper training in dealing with this type of warfare, where the enemies invade our land and Marcus is needed to find them. Arthur, on the other hand, has learned only too well. The men here, they love him.

As Marcus's power has slowly been declining so has our marriage. As I have told you in previous letters our arguments become more violent and life-threatening as the days go by. I do not lie to you dear friend when I tell you that some days I fear for my life.

And yet throughout my troubles here at the wall the Knights of Sarmatia have only ever been given me happiness. They treat me with more respect than most people in Rome do and yet at the same time they treat me as one of their own. There has been a specific knight who I have felt deeply for. –Not sure how to go on, Lucilla put the pen down and looked at the blood stain on the floor. A tear trickled down her cheek; she didn't know what else to do. She picked up the feather again. –This knight, I will omit his name so as not to deface Arthur or his knights, but he has ever been there in my times of need, much like yourself.

I feel half ashamed for what I am about to tell you yet part of me feels no regret for following my heart. A heart that has deceived me more than once I feel this time does not lie. –Taking another deep breath she labored on. –I have a deep affection for this scout and allowed my passion to get the better of me. As much as I have tried to keep my feeling hidden from even myself at times I could not keep hidden from him.

I do not know how Marcus found out my disloyalty, but this past morning he entered my chambers. The smell of British ale was heavy on his breath as he threw me across the room. Dear friend, I have known Marcus to be a brutal man, especially on the battlefields of Germania, but in his own home in the chamber of his wife I could never have imagined such brutality. I feared for my life this morning more than I ever have. The hate in his eyes were hot enough to melt the stones composing this fort. If not for the intrusion of a British servant I fear I would not be writing this letter.

I write this in hopes that you could perhaps find a new post for both Marcus and I. I will remain a dutiful wife as taught to be, but take no pleasure in staying at his side. I do not ask for this to be publicly announced nor told to my family or your own. The last thing I want is this to be known to anyone but myself and you. This letter does not exist, friend.

I beg you; please find a new place for Marcus perhaps a place where he can be of extreme use. A place where this crazed man can not survive and where the man I married will once again be seen.

Best regards,

Lucilla Patrious

Lucilla delicately rolled the parchment attaching a green ribbon for urgency to the outside. Lastly she stamped the seal of Patrious on the outside and walked outside to an awaiting messenger.

"And urgent letter to Rome, the recipient's name is on the front." Lucilla told the messenger.

The rider took a quick look and with a nod urged the horse to the gate at a full gallop. With the seal and the green ribbon Lucilla was sure it would reach Rome by the end of the week. Her friend always seemed to know what to do; surely they would know what to do this time.

"Who was that to?" Gaius asked as Lucilla's kept her back to him.

"To my mother, she needs a letter every week." Lucilla slowly turned around as the rider made the final turn to the gates she could already hear them opening the gates for him.

"Your face my Lady!" Gaius was shocked.

"A small misunderstanding with Marcus, it's no big deal. I'm going to remain in my chambers today. Enjoy the sunshine." Lucilla said to the soldier as she made her way back upstairs to her room. She hoped that spending the time in her room would keep her away from Marcus.

The day went by in solitude for Lucilla. She mostly sat with a book in her hands staring at the walls. She must have stayed this way all day since the next time she looked outside the sun was setting and gates were closing allowing the knights back inside the fortress.

They galloped through the village making their way to the well known courtyard. Vanora and children were anxiously awaiting the return of Bors. As the knights dismounted they were a bid surprised to find that Lucilla was not waiting for them as she usually did. Normally she would be waiting with the large Roman smile on her face ready to welcome each of them back. They had gotten used to it and were disappointed when she wasn't there. Bedwyr being the first one dismounted he gave Vanora a peck on the cheek, as friends do.

"Where's Lucilla? I'm shocked she's not here." Bedwyr wondered as Bors got next to his lover and Jols took the horses.

"She's not herself today, a slight quarrel with Marcus I'm afraid." Vanora was extremely reluctant to talk about what she had seen and heard today.

"I heard them yelling." Gilly burst out.

"Gilly!" Vanora scorned.

"Yelling about what?" Arthur inquired, his face taking on the look he usually gave when someone angered him.

"I really couldn't tell you Arthur," Vanora smiled.

"Can't or won't?" Tristan asked, his face not showing any emotion but his hand was clutching the dagger at his side.

"Tris!" Bors scalded.

Tristan walked away trying to calm down. He was sure if he saw Marcus, he wouldn't make it past the scout. The knights skipped the meeting in the hall of the Round Table and went right to the tavern. Seeing how the other knights were already intoxicated Tristan guessed it was safe to go up to Lucilla.

Staying in shadows he made his way up the stairs to the oak door. He could see light from under the door. Looking down the hall, Marcus's room was dark. Slipping into Lucilla's chamber he could see that she was staring blankly at the floor. Following her stare he saw the dried blood on the floor, it looked as if someone had tired to clean it up, but there was still some stuck in between the floor slats.

He whispered her name but she seemed to be in another world. Kneeling beside her he looked into those deep green eyes but they seemed vacant. Looking at her face he could see two thin lines on her cheek. Cupping her chin in his hand he brought her eyes into his.

"What are you doing in here?" Lucilla whispered.

"I wanted to see you, we missed you down stairs."

"Why do you think I did this?" Lucilla looked deep into the scout's eyes, genuinly asking.

"I know you're hiding something." Tristan allowed.

"Tristan, I didn't do this because I'm bored or wicked. But because I know in the east between one man and woman there is only light. I've never felt before what I feel for you now, but I won't let Marcus kill you for me."

"What are you talking about?" Tristan wasn't sure what Lucilla was saying.

"Marcus knows. If he suspects anything… he'll kill you." A tear trickled down her cheek.

"I can take care of myself. And I can protect you. Lucilla I want to protect you." Dropping the book on the floor Lucilla pulled Tristan close.

"I don't want a hero." Pulling away a bit, Lucilla looked into the eyes of the man she cared about more than herself. "I wrote a letter to a friend in Rome, I asked them to find a new post for Marcus and me."

"You want to leave?"

"No. But I can't lose my marriage."

"Your marriage is over Lucilla. The blood on the floor proves that to me. You don't love him."

"You don't understand do you?" Tristan stood up a bit taken back by Lucilla's words. "I didn't marry Marcus because I loved him. I had only met him once before our wedding day. I did this only for my father."

"Why? So you could save him?" Tristan was growing angry.

"Yes in fact! My father gave away all his money to Rome, on the brink of bankruptcy the only choice he had was to marry me off to a rich family. I didn't have a choice."

"Choice is a luxury most of us don't have."

"You're right we don't. But if Marcus kills you, I won't be able to live and if I die, my family loses it all. I can't shame my family and I don't want to shame you." Lucilla fell to floor crying. "I don't even know what to do anymore. Every choice I've made has led me from bad to worse."

Tristan kneeled down next to the woman who had captured his heart and soul. "Not every choice." He kissed her lightly as she put her head on his shoulder.

"This doesn't change anything. Marcus might see us and if he does we're dead."

"Don't worry about it." Lucilla few asleep a few minute later and Tristan laid her on the bed and walked down to Arthur and the knights. He wasn't sure what he was going to do to Marcus but he wasn't going to let Lucilla get hurt or even killedfor following her heart.

"Where were you?" Arthur casually wondered as Tristan made his way to the tavern. Tristan nudged his head toward the hall where there would be some privacy.

"Arthur he slammed her against the walls."

"Do we know why?" Tristan looked away; he didn't know what to say. Not wanting to appear the reason for her beating nor admitting what had occured the night before and notwanting to lie to Arthur who was like a brother he chose not to say anything. "I think I understand."

"It was a choice I made… I don't regret it." Tristan boldly admitted.

"I don't think I would either." Arthur began to walk away.

"Arthur…."

"This will stay between us. I swear it." Tristan let out a sigh of relief. Arthur really was a great man.