Dislamer: I own nothing.
A/N: This is a short one. Nothing really special about it. A bit of reasoning behind Lily's defiance towards going out with James.
A Beautiful Disaster
Remus was the obvious choice, the safe one rather. He was nice and a gentleman and had a bit of a wild side, along with loving her on top of it all. They had a lot in common and could talk for hours on end without running out of topics. Long-term wise they would be perfect. She could easily convince herself that the seemingly platonic love for him wasn't that at all and they could get married and have kids and grow old together. He was someone her parent would approve of even. Perfect right?
Well, yes, but there was one problem. She liked to call it…
James Potter. Merlin, how she loved that boy and for a good long time at that. And it would seem that he loved her back. Between the shameless flirting and the fact that he was constantly asking her out seemed proof enough for her friends. But, she had convinced herself that he didn't like her at all. For if she indulged herself in that one little belief she knew that when she found out he didn't, she would fall hard and fast earning a shattered heart on the way down. A heart that she knew she knew no one would be able to fix. It would be a disaster. She had told herself over and over again that he was only in it for the challenge and as soon as she said yes he would loose any interest he had in her. Part of her act hating him, everyday, she would put him off. Outside she was made of steel yelling and screaming at him, but on the inside… On the inside she was slowly dwindling down to nothing. And pretty soon she would wither away if she didn't make a decision between the two.
She did eventually, and it turned out that she had made the right choice. Despite the fact that it did end in disaster, it was a beautiful one, an end she could live with even in death.