Thank you so much for your reviews, I hope you're enjoying the story. We're getting near the end...anyone thinking of sequal?
Chapter 19
Hasty Departure
The grass was matted down by the constant rainfall. The entire fortress would make time to come out for the memorial and funeral of any of the knights. The death of two knights was a ceremony not to be missed. Vanora had given each of the children a bath in order to be clean for the ceremony. The rest of the fortress came in their better clothing.
The knights stood around the two graves. Their faces were stoic but their eyes held despair. Each one was remembering a memory from their brothers. It was a depressing day that even the sky showed. The sun was hidden behind a thick layer of clouds. They gray tint of the sky made everything below darker that what it seemed.
The brown dirt was thrown to one side of the grave and the bodies were nobly prepared. Cleaned of all blood and dirt with scented oils they were wrapped in silk. Laid delicately in the graves many of the women were teary eyed. No doubt many of the women had been involved with Cai or Bedwyr in some way or another.
Lucilla stood beside Caesar who in turn stood beside Arthur. The knight stood to the right of the graves with their heads bowed silently.
"We stand here today to honor the lives of two great knights. Their lives were lived with honor, courage and nobility. They will be remembered for an eternity." Arthur's deep voice was soothing yet mournful. It hurt him the most to lose men, they were not only entrusted to him but they were the only family he had left. It felt as if he was losing his family all over again each time one of the knights fell.
The words were short and to the point but still heartfelt. As quickly has the people of the fortress had arrived at the cemetery, they departed. They went back to their dull jobs of the wall each understanding that there were two less knights to keep the wall entertaining.
Vanora and the children left Bors with the other men, each were crying from loosing men they considered family. Arthur began to walk away and Caesar followed. Lucilla stayed only for an extra moment. She stole a glance to Tristan who was looking solely at the graves. She now understood that there was nothing she could do, whatever he thought she couldn't change. And frankly if he wouldn't listen to her she didn't want to be with him.
Understanding this she turned away and followed Caesar back to the fortress. The rest of the knights followed in turn making their way to the tavern. Vanora was there giving each a free mug of beer, it was the least she could do. She had learned that a week or so after the funeral was the hardest for the men, but they would learn to move on with their lives always bringing the life of Cai and Bedwyr with them.
Lucilla had been crying for quiet some time. For both the knights and for the realization that Tristan never felt what she had felt about him. Her heart was broken in more than one place. There was no reason for her to stay in Britain so she decided she would return to Rome. She had asked a Centurion to summon Caesar for her, Cassius arrived quickly.
"You summoned me." He joked as she allowed him into the room. She had many of the chests littering the floor, Caesar eyed them as he walked in. "What are you doing?"
"He doesn't want me." Lucilla admitted, "He thinks I don't love him enough."
"Then he doesn't know you." Caesar allowed. "If he took a few moments to truly get to know you he would see how amazing you are."
"You still want me to come to Rome with you?" Lucilla was now peering outside into the mist of Britain.
"I want to be as near to you as I can Lucilla, but most of all I want you happy. If you're not happy with me so be it. But I only care about your happiness."
He caressed her cheek as he held on to her waist. "I will come to Rome, but I will not stay with you. I'll pay my respects to my family and then tour the Empire."
"And then what?" His chin came down to rest on her shoulder.
"And then we shall see."
"So be it. I'll send someone to help you pack your things." He gave her a kiss on the cheek and left the room.
Lucilla turned around and began to throw things into the chest. This time, unlike packing in Rome, she had no cares. She just wanted to get out of Britain as quickly as she could.
A few minutes later Murig and Vanora knocked on the door. "We were told you need some help packing." Vanora said quietly as Lucilla opened the door allowing them in the room.
"I'm going back to Rome; everything needs to be packed up."
"You're leaving?" Murig said aloud.
"Yes, are any of your kin going to stop me? After all isn't that what they wanted? Rome to leave Britain."
"Aye lady, it is what they want. But they will bring you no harm."
"Well then, we have work to do."
They worked in silence for the next few hours. Lucilla got things ready with Vanora putting it in the chests and Murig taking the chest to the floor below. Within the few hours everything was done. Murig had taken the chests to the cart below and they were ready to leave. Checking the room once more Vanora said her goodbye to Lucilla while behind the walls.
"I wish we could have gotten to know each other better." Vanora said with tears forming in her eyes.
"I am the same. Well at least things will get things back to normal." Lucilla chuckled.
"Good-bye."
Vanora said the same as they left the room. Vanora only smiled and put her hand on Murig's shoulder in a silent goodbye. Getting down to the carriage where Caesar was waiting for her. She only nodded at the knights as Caesar jumped in the carriage before her. Arthur took her hand and helped her onto the step. Looking into her eyes he said, "If you love him you'll stay."
"I do, but he doesn't."
"He does." Arthur sternly said in a quiet voice. "He just needs your trust."
"He has it but he refused me." Lucilla was about to get into the carriage when she turned around and looked Arthur in the eyes, "if you're ever in Rome try and find me."
Smiling Arthur helped her into the carriage. With a crack of the whip the horses were moving the coach through the wall. Lucilla watched as the people flew by and the gates were closed behind them.
"Britain will soon be behind us." Cassius said happily as he began to peruse a few documents that had arrived from Rome the day before.
"Yes it will be." Lucilla was less than ecstatic. She really didn't know what she wanted from her life and she wasn't sure what she was going to be looking for traveling the empire but she knew she wanted to see the frontiers. After living her at the northern most frontiers she couldn't imagine living a fixed life in Rome.
The few days ride was tiring. The same rolling green hills for days on end became tedious. Lucilla faded in and out of sleep, always hoping she was making the right choice. Arthur's voice kept repeating in her mind, 'if you love him, you'll stay.' She wanted to know that going back to Rome would solve her problems. But no one could tell her that.
They had arrived at the villa of Galba Flavius. A large Roman villa in the middle of Britain had all the necessities of Rome. Caesar and Lucilla were happy to be able to sleep in real beds rather than in the carriage or on the ground. Their host was ever gracious to have Caesar and a senator's daughter in his home. Hosting these two could elevate him in society.
Lucilla sat at the dinner table in silence pondering what her life was doing. In essence her life was spiraling out of control. Watching Galba speak to his wife, Lucinda, made Lucilla feel even more alone.
Contemplating what to do, she decided that she loved Tristan too much to walk away. She knew what she had to do; she was only too scared to do it.
They left early the next morning and Lucilla was uneasy. Caesar tried to put her at ease but it was no use. "Why are you here?" He finally asked her.
"What?" Lucilla looked him in the eyes. "Because…" Lucilla needed to think about the real reason.
"If you can't tell me now then you shouldn't be here." Caesar clasped Lucilla's hand in his. "I told you before; I want you to be happy. And I can see you're not happy with me and I don't want to be the cause of your unhappiness for the rest of your life."
"Cassius…" He raised a hand to silence her.
"You know you want to be with him. Lucilla, swallow that pride of your and go to him. You know he's the only thing that will make you happy."
"What are you saying?" Lucilla wanted to make sure she wasn't dreaming.
"Leave me. Go to the scout. Live a long and happy life." He kissed her on the cheek and called to the driver. "Halt!" The carriage came to a stop. "I will tell your family you were killed in a raid at the wall I will tell them your body was buried here in Britain where you wanted it. You will receive nothing from Rome. As far as Rome is concerned you no longer exist. Am I understood?"
Smiling Lucilla nodded. "Thank you."
She jumped out of the carriage and took the reins of an extra horse. "May the blessed Jesu look upon you with joy and grace. May the Swift Sure Hand guide you through the obstacles you may encounter. Blessings upon you." Cassius said to Lucilla.
"And you too." Ripping her dress she mounted the horse the way a man would. Looking to Cassius she said, "Thank you."
She kicked the horse and the horse began to canter away from the caravan. She continued north as the caravan continued south. She stopped a top a small ridge watching Caesar's caravan fade into the distance.
Now that she was on her way back the fort she needed to figure out what to say to Tristan. For the next few days ride she thought of that hoping not to come in contact with any Woads.
The chestnut stallion cantered rhythmically under Lucilla's legs. She realized why Tristan was so comfortable on his gray stallion. Feeling the motion of the animal under her gave her the sensation of flying.
Thinking of the different ways to talk to Tristan she hadn't realized the wall was on the horizon. The horse sped up.
Review, review, review! I love those reviews! Thanks!