Chapter 9 - The Thoughts and Admitting

"When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it"

-Blind – Lifehouse

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Summer and Marissa talked for about 5 more minutes, but both decided that had headaches from their tears, and wanted to go to sleep, and have some time to think. Summer had never really thought about anything she and Marissa had just discussed, but it all made perfect sense. She wanted to go and apologize to Seth, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything to him. What could she say anyways?

"Hey I'm sorry, I lied to you 4 years ago, it was because I was scared I would lose you, so I just stopped being you friend. Whoops." .. Yeah right.

She figured that since she didn't feel like sitting in her room, drowning in her sorrows, that she'd go watch a movie that she could drown them in instead. "The Notebook..." duh. Seth had gone back to his room by now, and had been sitting in the same position on the floor for the last 20 minutes. He heard Summer's door open, and heard the TV turn on. Then he heard the start of "The Notebook," which he had actually sat through when him and one of his recent ex-girlfriends, Jacie had watched it. He wondered if what she said was true, but how could it had not of been. She wouldn't have called one of her 'plastic' friends, and told her that, if it was fake. He hoped that it was true, because what she had admitted to Marissa, and what he had believed for 4 years, were completely different, and Summer's confession was much better. He figured he'd go out there, and act like nothing had happened, and see what Summer would do.

"Are you breakin' up with me?" Came from the movie. The part where Noah feels like he has to break up with Ali because of her parents.

Summer was crying extremely hard, but you could tell she was trying to not make noise, because she thought Seth was asleep. She didn't even hear him come out of his room. He came up and sat right beside her on the couch, even though there was about 4 feet of extra room on the couch where he could, and usually sat when they were both sitting on the couch.

"Oh my GOSH." Summer screamed, flipping the remote in the air. "You freaking scared me Cohen." She said, tears streaming down her face.

He looked deep into her grief-stricken face. He felt like her pain was stronger then his had ever been from their friendship end. "You okay?" He asked her.

She wiped her face off. "Yeah, fine." She said, and turned back to the movie.

"You sure?" He asked.

She turned her hair, and faced him. "I'm fine Seth. What's with the sudden worry about me?" She asked, but not rudely.

He wasn't sure what to say. He knew exactly why, but he wasn't sure if he could just sit there and tell her he'd walked out to the kitchen to get water, and got intrigued by her conversation when he heard his name, and eavesdropped the rest of the 30 minute conversation... "Just seems like there's something bothering you." He said.

She felt like he could see right through her. "The movie is sad." She said.

"Okay." He said. "Well I'm gonna go to sleep now, enjoy "The Notebook," Summer." He turned around, and headed for his room.

"Wa..." She barely mouthed.

She wanted to explain to him... but what use was it. He obviously hated her. She tried to get comfortable on the couch, and tried to enjoy the movie, but she couldn't. Everything was just running through her head, and she felt terrible. No one besides her had ever known about Seth, and why she did what she did. She'd had strong feelings for him when they were getting a little older, also. She started to really like him, but she didn't want their friendship to get all weird if they dated. She was good at pretended like she didn't like him, even though she had the biggest crush on him. After thinking a lot, she finally decided she'd just stop being friends with him, thinking it would make things easier. Except, it didn't. The older he got, the hotter he got. The cuter his smile got, and the more dateable he became. She still had feelings for him deep within, and thought he was adorkable. She got up from the couch, and walked over to Seth's room. Knock, Knock.

"Seth?" She said aloud.

He hadn't been asleep. "Come in." He said.

She walked in, and remained her composure. "So..." she started.

He looked at her. "Yeah, so..."

"Yeah." She said. "Okay, I'm gonna go." She started to turn around.

He got out of his bed quick, and lightly touched her arm. "You came in here for a reason."

She looked up into his eyes, almost the same color as hers. "Yeah." She said barely above a whisper.

He smiled at her, and sat back down on his bed. She plopped down on the floor and sat Indian style.

"I was just going to apologize, for everything." She started out almost smoothly. "For the way I've treated you, the way I ignored you at all our dinners, and how I just left... left everything with you and I." She stumbled through that sentence.

Seth looked at her for a couple of seconds. "Its... its okay Summer."

She was shocked. "Its okay, Summer?" She questioned.

"Its okay Summer." He said again.

"So that's it... you're just going to forgive me for being the biggest bitch in the world, and just leaving our friendship." She was shocked.

He had to admit to it. "I was in the kitchen to get a glass of water, and heard you say my name, and then heard a faint voice, and figured you were on the phone..."

She knew where this was going. She just waited for him to speak, but tears forming in her eyes.

"You started talking about you missing me, and then after a while, said why you really stopped being friends with me before freshman year." He stopped.

Summer was crying, softly, but still crying.

"I'm so sorry Seth." She said.

He got down on the floor, and gave her a hug. "Its okay Summer, really." She said, accepting his hug.

"I loved you so much." She started to say.

He was confused.

"I was afraid if I told you that I liked you, that our friendship would be ruined, and even after we stopped being friends, I've still kept feelings for you." She admitted.

Maybe it was because she was crying, maybe it was because she was becoming who she actually was, maybe it was because she was hugging Seth. She wasn't sure.

"What?" Seth asked.

Next Chapter:

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Where will this conversation take SS?