Chapter 5: Loving Her
Disclaimer: There once was a girl named Alex. She did not own the X-Men. This made her sad.
From across the room, Ororo's fingers dug into the chair. Her feet barely skimmed the floor, her knees draped over her hands.
He'd been sleeping all day and into the night. It was four in the morning.
In the days after his death, she had thought about what it would be like to see him again. All she wanted was to touch him, to kiss him, to throw her body into his, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.
It wasn't like that at all. She didn't want to be there, didn't want to look at him.
But she had to.
She sat as far away from him as possible.
"This is interesting. It's kind of a twist, ya know? You being alive and all. I can't say I really expected that. I guess you didn't either." She laughed uncomfortably. "But who would, right?"
She paused for a while to look around the sterile room.
"Should we start getting used to this kind of thing? I mean, first Jean, and then…well…Jean. Peter is alive, too. And now you're here."
She laughed again, this time to hold back tears. "You guys can't keep doing this to us. It's not fair, this tug-of-war."
She fixed her eyes to the ground, another desperate attempt to maintain control. Outside, a light rain began to fall.
Quietly, almost inaudible, "You said you'd never leave me."
The sound of distant thunder. "You promised me Henry. You swore you'd always be there."
The wind outside picked up, carrying the thunder closer. Rain threatened to break the windows.
She looked up, angrily wiping the tears away from her white eyes. A flash of lightening. "Liar."
She bolted from her seat, moving to quickly close the distance between her and Hank. "You fucking liar!"
The room resonated with the storm outside as she brought her fists down on his arm, his chest, his stomach. "I waste a year with you and you fucking leave me! We needed you – I needed you!"
Her words caught in her throat as she choked on the tears, her movements frantic.
"'Ro! What's goin' on?" Logan ran into the med lab, Jean trailing right behind him.
Ignoring the intruders, she continued to slam her fists into his body. "Why did you even come back? We don't need you anymore! We don't want you here!"
"Hey! Storm, c'mon—" Logan grabbed her by the waist, pulling her off of Hank's limp body.
Jean raced to his side, checking on his vitals.
Ororo's arms and legs flailed wildly, kicking and scratching at the air.
"I hate you! I hate you!" Her voice cracked as she screamed.
Logan pulled her down to the ground with him, cradling her in his arms. Exhausted and sniveling, she buried her face deep in his chest. Quietly, muffled, "Why is he still here?"
He smoothed her hair, pressing her body closer to his. "Shhh…I dunno, darlin'. I dunno…"
The next day…
The two walked outside to the waiting car. Scott shook hands with one. "Good to see you, Pete. It's been a while." He smiled and turned to the girl, embracing her before taking her suitcases. "You, too, Kitty." Scott slammed the hood shut after throwing their bags in the trunk. "How was your flight?"
"It was good my friend. Russian airports—"
"How is she Scott?"
He paused, as if choosing the words carefully. "It's good you're here."
Ororo threw the towel in the corner before collapsing on her bed. She stretched her arms, held them there, relaxed, and dropped them to her sides. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply. She remained in that position for a while before the door slowly open.
A small smile spread across her face. "Hi."
"Hey. How ya feelin'?"
"Good."
"I bet the danger room's seen better days…"
She opened one eye to look at him before opening the other. "I was just venting."
"Understandable."
She sat up, leaning against the headboard, and smiled seductively at Logan. "Are you just going to stand in the doorway all night?"
He crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He said nothing.
"Logan?"
"You can talk to me ya know. About this whole thing with—"
"There's nothing to say."
"Like hell. 'Ro—"
"No. He's back. He's alive." She crossed her arms over her chest. "So what?"
"Darlin', I don't get you sometimes. Just last night—"
"I was angry! I needed to take it out on someone. I just spent three hours in the Danger Room! I'm fine now."
"God, just listen to yerself. Y'sound like nothin' ever happened." Stupid. Why would he say that?
She could feel it inside her, feel it snap. "What the hell do you want from me? You want to know how I really feel? You want to hear that I'm being torn apart inside? He's dead to me, Logan! It doesn't matter that he's lying there, breathing, in that goddamn hospital! You can't even begin to understand, so don't you dare tell me what I sound like!"
He moved back, startled. "You think I don't know how it feels, Storm? The guy's one o' my best friends—"
She scoffed. "Yeah, 'friend.'"
"Fine," he bit back. "But don't forget that Jean—" He stopped himself.
Ororo winced. The argument had gone too far, they both knew it. She looked down at her lap, fumbling with her hands. "I don't want to fight with you."
"I know."
"I missed him."
He moved to sit beside her, their shoulders touching. "Yeah."
"We were talking about getting our own place. Somewhere close, sure, but we wanted to be alone. Then he left and…Well, you know the rest."
She looked over to Logan. He didn't respond.
"But that was okay."
He looked up at her, startled.
"Yeah. I mean, like I said other night, we were having problems anyway. I saw it coming, so when he left, he hurt my pride more than anything."
"So what happens now?" Logan surprised himself with the bluntness of the question.
She met his gaze. "I love you, if that's what you mean."
He took her hand in his own. "That's enough fer me, darlin'."
Jean sat, one leg crossed over the other, on a stool by the cot. She grabbed a yellow legal pad off the desk behind her. "Okay…"
"Jean?"
She wrote "Henry McCoy" at the top, not looking up when she responded, "Yes?"
"Jean, look at me."
She froze for a moment, then finally looked up to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry, Hank. It's just…It's a little—"
"I know it is. I'm sorry I—"
"Don't be." She flashed a genuine smile. "It's good to have you home."
She started to write something on the notepad before she pausing and dropping it to the ground beside her. "Talk to me, Hank. Not as some doctor, but as a friend."
He turned his head, looking away from her.
"I scanned your mind in the forest. I can't—I saw what happened, but I can't piece it together. What happened?"
No response.
"Henry?"
"It was clean when we first got there."
"'We?'"
"There were...I don't know how many. It was sterile at first. Like it is here. It didn't last long. There was heat. A lot of heat. Fire. They came in every day with their pills and their needles and—that was it." He faced her now, looking her in the eyes. "I don't know what happened next."
"Do you remember anything before you—"
"No. Not much anyway. Some things."
"Like what?"
"I remember loving her."
She floated a foot off the ground, her eyes closed, hands resting calmly on her knees. She breathed in deeply, held it for a moment, and then exhaled.
She repeated the process several times before slowly opening her eyes and sweeping a hand through the air in front of her.
A gentle concentration of rain fell on the plants in front of her.
Ororo smiled slightly. Ashamed at abandoning her plants for too long, she looked forward to a day in her greenhouse.
A slight gust of wind blew the rain to another section of flowers.
It was peaceful. No one would dare disturb her here. This was her—
"Hey, you."
She hit the ground and blinked her eyes quickly, surprised by the voice behind her.
Ororo knew who it was without looking. She smiled broadly, and, rising to her feet, spun around. "Kitty-kat!" She threw her arms around the startled girl.
"Wow, haven't heard that one in a while." She returned the embrace.
"I haven't seen you in over a year! I haven't even talked to you in a few months." Breaking away, Ororo kept her hands resting on her friend's shoulders, as if to prevent her from leaving. "Goddess, Kitty! What are you doing here?"
She shrugged, attempting nonchalance. "I just missed you guys is all. We thought it'd be a good time to come back, what with the holidays coming up." She sat on a nearby bench. Ororo followed. "Don't go telling Pete this, by I honestly couldn't stand another winter in Russia."
"So it's 'Pete' now, is it? I seem to remember you refusing to call him anything but Peter."
Kitty laughed. "'Ro, I was a kid then." She ceremoniously crossed her arms in front of her chest, feigning. "Things have changed, you know."
"With you and Peter?"
"For the better. This whole 'don't pressure the guy' thing seems to be working out."
Ororo's eyes widened. "So are you two 'you two' again?"
"Let's just say we're working on it." Kitty couldn't help but smile at the fact. "What about you? I hear things between you and Logan are getting a little serious. Jean's mentioned the word 'roomie' on more than one occasion."
"We've talked about it. The professor says he's got a small place nearby, practically on this land." Ororo's smile faded slightly as she looked down to her lap.
Kitty's gaze fell, too, watching Ororo pull at a string on the hem of her shirt. "That'd be nice."
The two sat in awkward silence for what seemed like hours.
Ororo was the first to speak. "Jean called you, didn't she?"
"Yeah. Day before yesterday."
"I see."
"You okay, 'Ro? Seriously, are you alright?"
"Everybody keeps asking me that, as if they think it will help me in some way."
"I don't know if it would help you, but you're my best friend. I want you to talk to me."
Ororo looked up at Kitty, a slightly smile on her face. "Do you know what I keep getting from people around here? Everyone – Remy, Scott, Rogue, even Jean – keeps asking what I'm going to do. As if there's something that I need to do. It's like they're all trying to turn my life into some soap opera. 'Ororo Munroe must decide between the two loves of her life – the Beast or the Wolverine.' It's ridiculous. That man's come back from the dead. I honestly doubt our relationship is the first thing on his mind. Logan's worried I'll go running back to Hank—"
"Logan? The big bad Wolverine? Worried?" She laughed nervously. "I guess things really do change."
"Oh, you'd be surprised."
"Have you talked to him?"
"Logan? Of course…"
"Hank. Have you talked to Hank?"
Ororo let out a small laugh. "No."
"Think maybe you should?"
"Probably, but not now." She stood, extending an arm to Kitty. "I want to hear about
Russia!"
Kitty linked her arm through Ororo's. "You wouldn't believe…"