Chapter Fifteen, The End
"Baby, slow down...
The end is not as fun as the start.
Please stay a child, somewhere in your heart.
I'll give you everything you want...
Except the thing that you want.
You are the first one of your kind...
And you feel like no one before,
You steal right under my door,
I kneel, because I want you some more -
I want the lot of what you've got,
And I want nothing that you're not..." -'Original of the Species', U2
Ginny woke up the next morning even more miserable than she'd been the night before. She didn't want to open her eyes, she didn't want to get up, she didn't want to go to class...she just wanted to sleep. She felt Draco's arms around her, and rolled over so that her back was to him. She hugged the pillow close and willed sleep to come back, but it was no use - she was wide awake.
"Red?" Draco asked tentatively.
"Yeah?" She answered.
"I'm sorry...Red, I don't want this to end." He said honestly. She turned back to look at him, pain etched in every feature of her face.
"How can you lay here, like this, holding me...knowing that one day it's going to be her? That on my birthday, you're going to give yourself away to that cow? How can you stay with me every night, knowing that you're just going to have to end it?"
"Red," he started, a bit more firm, "I didn't exactly plan for this to happen between us. I didn't ask for it, and I don't even know if I wanted it. But it happened, and I'm glad it did. I'm never going to give myself to Pansy. You know that. And I can look at you every night and every morning because I know that..." Draco sighed.
"That what, Draco?" He looked away, "This is not a time for your stupid pride to get in the way of what you want to say," she said, making to sit up, but he wouldn't let her.
"I stay with you every night because I want to, because I like your company. I love to be with you, and I like who I am when I'm with you. I like who you are when you're with me. Red, if we could ever be together..." he stopped whatever he was imagining, and came back to reality. Whatever it was he was thinking, or dreaming, he didn't want to go into it with her. "When you're with me, I feel something different. You understand me unlike anyone I've ever met before...you know me better than anyone does. I can talk to you. But this isn't about Pansy or you or even me, this is just about the inevitable. Destiny and fate are twisted and cruel, and there's nothing I can do to stop it." His hand had reached up somewhere in the middle of that speech, and he was softly stroking her hair. She didn't know what to say, he'd never, ever spoken like that - to anyone, as far as she knew. He smirked as he caught on, "Don't look so surprised, you already knew all that."
"Well, yeah...but I didn't expect you to actually say it." He let out a soft chuckle as he pulled her in closer.
"Don't leave me just because sometime in the future we won't be able to be together. I need you now, and I know that you need me. Let's just leave it at that."
"I don't know if I can...Every time I see her, I'm going to remember, and it's going to make me miserable. And every time I see you two together, I'm going to get sick to my stomach. Draco, I can't keep this up." She looked up at him, and he just kissed her. He kissed her long and hard.
"Don't worry about what might or might not happen, worry about this...now." And he kissed her again, with passion.
Eventually they broke apart, and Draco got up to take a shower. When he got back, Ginny was still under his covers, hugging a pillow to her chest.
"C'mon, breakfast is in a half hour, and you have to go get changed." He said, sitting next to her on the bed.
"I'm not going." She stated.
"You have to go, your brother realizes you're missing again and he'll send out a search party."
"I don't care. I'm not going to breakfast. I have the Map, so they can't find me."
"I forgot to ask you, what is that thing?"
"I told you, it's a map."
"Yeah, well, I tried looking at your so-called map, and I didn't see anything."
"What'd you get?"
"Insulted!" Ginny smiled and sighed, and she held out her hand. "Waiting for something?" Draco asked with an eyebrow raised.
"Bring it to me and I'll show you. And my wand."
"Red, I tried that, it doesn't work. It just shows a bunch of names and how much they hate you."
"No, Draco, they hate you. They like me. That, and you did it wrong, now give me the map and I'll show you." He finally got up and retrieved the map, and Ginny's wand. She sat up in his bed, and placed the paper in front of her.
"I solemnly swear, I am up to no good." She said with her wand pointed. Draco looked at her like she was crazy, and she just smirked. "Watch." The Map revealed itself, showing the little dots with all the names under them. Draco let out a low whistle,
"This is incredible, who were those guys?"
"The Marauders?"
"Yeah, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs." Draco read off the top. Ginny smirked again.
"Well, Prongs is Harry's dad - James Potter, Padfoot is Sirius Black, Wormtail was Peter Pettigrew, and Moony is Professor Lupin - they were all friends when they were here at Hogwarts." Draco gaped,
"No wonder."
"No wonder what?"
"Mr. Prongs told me that he sincerely hoped I wasn't Lucius Malfoy's boy, because that would be an unfortunate occurance, and a seriously cruel joke of fate." Ginny giggled,
"I'm not surprised." They looked at the Map, and found Harry, Ron and Hermione running around Gryffindor Tower, probably getting ready for breakfast.
"So what about breakfast?"
"I'm still not going." Ginny stated flatly, pointing her wand at the parchment again. "Michief managed." She said, and the paper went blank.
"What will your brother think?"
"Ron probably won't notice, but Harry will be worried sick." Draco's face fell, and his expression turned sour.
"I don't like that," he muttered.
"And I don't like that you're getting married in eight months!" She shot, turning over onto her side. He put his arm on her shoulder,
"Red, I'm sorry."
"You should be."
"That's not fair," he pleaded.
"Life's not fair, is it?" She said dispassionately.
"Stop it, Gin, seriously."
"Draco, I can't help it! I'm upset!" Just then, they heard a knock at the door. Ginny looked at him frantically as he tossed her the invisibility cloak. She stood up and threw it on as he went to the door. She craned her neck so she could see who it was, before realizing that she really didn't want to know.
"Draco? Ready for breakfast?" Came a sickeningly sweet voice, and soon enough, Pansy Parkinson stormed into his room.
"Not yet. I'll be down later, though."
"You can't miss breakfast! It's the most important meal of the day!" Ginny couldn't stand the sight of her. Every move she made, everything she said, every smile - it was all so fake, and it made Ginny want to lose the contents of her stomach. Ginny decided to take a page out of Draco's book, it might make her feel better. So she walked quietly over to where Pansy was,
"I'm not that hungry, Pans, and I really need to catch up on some stuff. I'll meet you at Herbology after, though." Pansy began to walk toward Draco, who had retreated to the other side of the room, and Ginny stuck out her foot a little bit, stepping on one of Pansy's laces, which first untied her shoe, and then tripped her. Pansy fell down hard, and tried to break her fall with her hands, but that didn't work so well. When she sat up, she started to cry, and Draco looked astonished. Ginny smiled, satisfied, and watched her squirm.
"What happened!" Pansy shrieked.
"Well, Pansy, it looks like you tripped." Draco said.
"Aren't you going to help me up!" She said with tears streaming down her face. She was trying to cover her bloody nose with her hand, but it had gotten hurt pretty badly. Ginny thought it was probably broken, but it served the cow right. Draco sighed, and Ginny watched in anger as he offered her a helping hand up.
"You should probably go to the hospital wing." Draco said flatly, moving back to his place across the room. But Pansy held onto his hand and pulled him close, hugging him so that she could cry into his shirt. "Pansy!" he cried, "This was a clean shirt!"
"And now it's not!" She yelled back, "So just let me cry, I'm in pain!"
"Then go to the hospital wing!" He yelled at her, getting angry.
"You will never understand girls, Draco Malfoy!" She said, still crying. "I just want some comfort!" And with that, she ran out. As soon as the door was securely closed and locked, Ginny let the cloak fall, a satisfied smirk on her face.
"I hope you're happy," Draco said, "I really liked this shirt." Ginny pointed her wand and cast a cleaning charm, that removed all evidence of the blood and tears. Then she grabbed his shirt and pulled him close to her, and kissed him hard and long. When she finally let him go, he had to hold on to the couch for support. "Wow...so...you're feeling a bit better then?" He said, almost out of breath.
"I think I am. And I've gotten my appetite back, so I'll see you at breakfast?" Without even waiting for an answer, she threw his cloak back on and skipped out, grinning wildly.
The rest of the day went by uneventfully, Ginny's mood being very touchy, but alright overall. She was very up-and-down all day, sometimes smiling and lost in thought, other times refusing to speak to anyone about anything at all.
She met up with Draco that night in the library, and they stayed there, just kissing each other, for hours. Ginny wanted to get lost in the moment, focus on what was there now, like Draco had said. And he'd said all those sweet things...and then she'd seen how he acted around Pansy, and...she just wanted to get lost in the moment. She kissed him like she'd never felt before, like she could never be hurt...like there was no tomorrow. After awhile, Draco pushed her away, gasping for breath.
"What has gotten into you?" He said with a smile. She just smiled back, and shrugged. Her moods were so fickle now, even she had trouble following them, but she didn't care.
"I don't know, I just...I don't know," She sighed and smiled, relaxing into his embrace. "I just want to get lost in the moment...I don't want to think about any of it anymore." He stroked her hair and held her close.
"You? Not worry? I'll believe it when I see it." Draco scoffed. Ginny glared up at him,
"You could at least let me try," she said with a smile. Ginny let a comfortable silence take over, as she tried to figure out a way to help him. She didn't want him to get married, or 'produce an heir', or even be a Death Eater. Then, she thought of something.
"You could join us," she whispered.
"What?" he asked, pulling back.
"You could join the Order...fight with us...you could be with me," She said, hoping beyond all hope, even though she knew it was a bad idea.
"Red, even you must realize that's a bad idea."
"Why?" She pouted.
"Because if I come within ten feet of you publicly, for any reason outside Potions, your brother would kill me. Sometimes even then I'm not sure I'll survive a whole class next to you."
"All my brothers would kill you," Draco frowned, muttering something about a small army. Ginny giggled, "But still, we can make them understand, we can tell them. Tell them what you told me. Draco, this could work,"
"No, Red, it couldn't. They would kill me, if not for being with you, for being a Death Eater. There's nothing I can do about this now," he said, getting frustrated, "It is what it is, and I just have to deal with that. My life is already planned out for me, that's just how it is."
"What about this!" She cried, getting angry, "What about everything you've said over the past few months, about how much you hate it, and how much you wish you didn't have to do all those things! What about me?"
"Red, I'm sorry...there's nothing I can do." Ginny got up and stormed out, unwilling to deal with any more. She knew she was being a bit dramatic, but she couldn't help it. She heard him call after her, but just kept walking.
The next day, when they got to Potions, Ginny had decided she wasn't going to speak to him until he made up his mind about what he wanted - her or Pansy. When she got to their table, she put her things down and dove right into the work without saying a word. Harry made his way over to their table,
"Hey, Ginny." He said lightly, "You alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine," She smiled.
"Ok, you just seem a bit...out of it." She sighed,
"I am. I didn't sleep well last night, and I've been having a bad week." She confessed, not oblivious to the fact that Draco, next to her, was chopping up some scurvy-grass as though it needed to be killed first, "But I'll be ok."
"Alright...you know I'm here if you need to talk."
"I know, Harry, thanks." He gave her one last, concerned glance, and went back to his own table. "Wow, I'm surprised you stayed quiet for that long." Ginny hissed at Draco.
"Yeah, well, it wasn't easy." He hissed back. "Didn't you tell him you were spoken for?" Ginny's eyes widened in rage, and if they weren't in class, she might've gone over and kissed Harry right then and there. Well, she probably wouldn't have, because she wouldn't want to use him like that, but part of her really wanted to just make Draco mad. As mad as she was.
"Don't even start with me," she warned, and she went back to their Mandrake Draught.
"Look, I don't know what you want me to do, but you can't just change sides in a war - especially not this one. I can't do anything about my future."
"And so you're not even going to try?"
"Red, trying would get me killed. This isn't just something you can make a mistake in, and then go back and fix it, this is my life we're talking about."
"I just don't understand why you won't even consider it." She was furious, "It makes it seem almost like you want to marry her."
"That is ridiculous!" Draco cried, louder than either of them had expected him to. "Listen, Weasley, I don't know what your problem is, but you're going to have to get over it before you blow this whole potion up!" She knew part of him was trying to cover up his error, because the whole class had turned to look at them, but she could hear how serious he was.
"Fine." She spat, throwing in her ingredients.
Later on that night, when she was in the hospital wing checking her Veritaserum, she heard the door click shut.
"Look, whatever it is, I really don't want to talk about it right now, so if you would please just leave me alone..."
"I was afraid you wouldn't show up tonight," Draco said, taking off his cloak.
"You were correct." She said stiffly.
"Red, don't be like that..." He said softly, coming closer to her and snaking his arms around her waist. "Come on, please...just be happy..."
"I can't be happy, Draco," she said sadly, turning around. "I don't know what's left to be happy about."
"Us, be happy about us," he urged, "Be happy with me...stay with me until the end, Red, and I'll stay with you."
"I never took you for a sap," She said with a smirk. He rolled his eyes,
"And you'll never hear it out of me again, but I want to make you happy, like you were the other day, before all this." He said seriously. "Remember how we like to sit up and talk, all through the night? And at the Quidditch match - I wasn't even looking for the Snitch half the time because I was having such a good time talking to you. Think about all that...we can have more of those times before it has to end." Ginny frowned and considered it...she really didn't want to break it off with him, but she didn't know how she could handle seeing Pansy. At all. Ever again.
"Alright, but you have to promise me something."
"Anything,"
"You won't talk about her unless absolutely necessary, and never in a positive way."
"Have I ever spoken about Pansy Parkinson in a positive way?"
"And you won't use her name." Ginny said sulkily. Draco smirked,
"I promise." He leaned down and kissed her happily, and she smiled. "You really are something else, Red."
"Yeah, you keep saying that."
"I mean it," he said with a shake of his head, "I don't know what it is about you, but you're something else..." Ginny grinned, she was glad they were going to drop the subject of the future and never, ever bring it up again.