Ch 48 – The harsh light of day

(A/N - I know some people will hate me for this chapter but trust me I do have some more light hearted and fun things in mind for the future. I simply wanted to get across the point that our heroes have their own ethics and beliefs and when forced to do certain things they don't always find it easy.)

Lan Zhan had not spoken all the way back to their room and neither had Wei Ying. After the assembly had agreed on the sentence the arguing had begun on where and when it would be carried out. At that time Wei Ying had, as subtly as he could, moved his hand forwards to grasp onto Lan Zhan's wrist. He knew his husband better than anyone and although Lan Zhan had killed many men on the battlefield over the years they had all been fighters who had been armed and physically dangerous to those around them. Wei Ying knew that no matter how much wrong Jin GuanYao had done in his life the idea of being the one to make the final decision to murder a defeated opponent would sit well with Lan Zhan, if he was honest it didn't really sit well with him. As soon as all the Sect leaders had stood and proclaimed their votes, Jin GuanYao had lifted his head and looked up at the dais where both Lan Zhan and Wei Ying were sitting, locking eyes with Lan Zhan and refusing to turn away.

Lan Zhan of course could have had one of the members of the assembly force the man's head down but he held that gaze as he nodded his agreement to the sentence of death. At that agreement Jin GuanYao's body had begun to shake as if it was out of his control, however that same determined glare had never left Lan Zhan's face. When it had been decided by the assembly that the execution would take place just outside Lotus Pier, as not to give the condemned the honour of dying in a place he once tried to destroy, on the next dusk. Once again Wei Ying had walked behind his husband to the site chosen for the execution only to see Jin GuanYao already knelt, the chains still wrapped around his body almost to the point you could no longer see the person. Wei Ying had not wanted to be there but had refused to remain in the room when Lan Zhan suggested it. He had simply pointed out that both as Lan Zhan's spouse and Jiang Cheng's brother he needed to attend and was slightly worried when Lan Zhan didn't try and argue with him further on the subject.

The public execution had been a few hours ago, the body was simply taken away by Jin ZiXuan and Wei Ying couldn't bring himself to care where it went. Wei Ying's concern had been taken up my Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan who once again had just stared into those determined eyes that stared right back at him as if nothing else existed, until the eyes became glassy and vacant, there owner at last absent. Lan Zhan who had turned and walked away without a word to any of the Sect Leaders present, including his own brother. And Lan Zhan, who had not spoken a word to to him since. Despite walking to the pier, the hall, walking around the perimeter and now back to their room. Lan Zhan's eyes had seemed almost as vacant as Jin GuanYao's had been when they dragged his body away. Wei Ying was beginning to get seriously concerned but didn't want to say anything until they got into the privacy of their small room.

As soon as they walked through it Wei Ying made sure to both close and lock the door behind him a movement that, even knowing who was in the room with him, a warrior like Lan Zhan would normally notice. However this time he simply wondered in the direction of the bed without any sign of response. Wei Ying let Lan Zhan get far enough into the room that the chances of any conversation being overheard would be slim, of course now he had made up with his brother the chances of anyone daring to be caught listening outside the room of the Sect Leaders brother and the Leader of the cultivation community would be an idiot, but for this conversation Wei Ying didn't want to risk it. He slowly moved behind his husband and wrapped his arms round Lan Zhan's waist, this move normally would involve Lan Zhan resting his hand on his or pulling him round to face him, however today all he did was freeze at the touch. Wei Ying pulled himself closer but Lan Zhan still remained still, barely breathing, almost like the reaction he had had many years ago when Wei Ying had constantly teased him despite him obviously not wanting the contact. Wei Ying looked up at the side profile of that beautiful face, the face that normally hid so much from everyone except him. Right now though it was as unmoving as the rest of him, a full jade statue.

Wei Ying let go of Lan Zhan's waist and moved round to the front, effectively barring the other man from moving any further. Lan Zhan's gaze didn't move but rather remained fixed on the top of his head. Wei Ying felt like growling but took a deep breath and spoke as gently as he could instead of screaming like he felt like doing.

'You haven't said anything since the execution. Are going to speak at all today?'

Lan Zhan simply stood as if he hadn't heard a word, as if he was to far gone down some inner path to be able to hear. Wei Ying tried again.

'Lan Zhan I can't help you if you keep ignoring me!'

Again the room was filled with silence and neither Lan Zhan's body or eyes gave any sign of hearing him. Wei Ying let out a large sigh and thought to himself…...well if being nice isn't getting anywhere then I will try the opposite….with that thought he placed both hands on Lan Zhan's chest and pushed himself a good two or three steps away allowing him to look the other in the eye. If Lan Zhan didn't want to move his eyes fine…...he would have to look at him as they spoke. Wei Ying let the frustration rise and come out this as he almost shouted.

'You want to ignore me…...you want to act like I don't exist…...fine!….you can stay here and be silent all you want, I will go to my old room in the family quarters and spend some time with my brother…..at least he gives a damn about me!'

Wei Ying stormed past Lan Zhan on his way to the door. The words had hurt to say, hurt his heart to speak. But he had needed to say something to try and snap his husband out of this stupor. As he reached for the door he paused as he heard an almost whisper behind him.

'That is for the best…..That is for the best'

Wei Ying turned round and saw Lan Zhan just staring at his hands muttering to himself. If Lan Zhan had thought his husband had left already or if he simply not heard.

'That is for the best…..' Lan Zhan continued to himself….'these hands are no longer clean enough to touch my Wei Ying'

Exactly as I thought…..Wei Ying thought to himself as he lowered his hand from the door…...someone like Lan Zhan prides himself on honour and respect, even of opponents. Agreeing to this execution has shifted something inside him. Without further thought on the subject Wei Ying strode back over to where his husband was still staring at his hands, grabbing them both and placing one firmly on his face and the other under his robes over his heart. This move seemed to get Lan Zhan's attention and he tried to snatch his hands back but Wei Ying was expecting such a move and had already gained a grip that even Lan Zhan found it hard to break.

'Wei Ying…...I…...I' Lan Zhan stammered as he tried several times to pull his hands away from Wei Ying's skin, obviously too flustered to focus his considerable strength. Eventually he stopped struggling and stood, his head dropped as if in defeat. Wei Ying heart was breaking looking at his husband who belonged at the top of the world, he shouldn't be staring at the floor around anyone not even him. This time Wei Ying let some anger into his voice as he spoke.

'I know…..I heard…...you think you are a murderer now…..you think you are dirty and disgusting now you agreed to kill a defenceless man.' Wei Ying pressed Lan Zhan's hand more firmly to his heart so he could feel his heartbeat. 'would you prefer it if that defenceless man had gotten what he wanted and I was the one dead?…..' Lan Zhan's eyes shot up but Wei Ying didn't stop talking. 'would you prefer it if that defenceless man had managed to get his way and killed your brother, our son, my nephew, my brother and half the cultivation world?' Wei Ying tried not to wince as Lan Zhan's fingers dug into the skin of his chest.

'It was still wrong!' Lan Zhan ground out as if his teeth were going to shatter from the way his jaw locked.

'What was wrong?' Wei Ying demanded. Removing his hands from where they held Lan Zhan's and moving them to the others face, forcing him to raise his head and look him in the eye. Part of him was quite surprised when Lan Zhan's hands remained where he had placed them, his fingers where even clawing at his chest as if trying to find something, anything, to grasp onto in his steady heartbeat.

'I was taught to kill in the battlefield, not kill a man already on knees without the ability to even stand...I can not blame you for hating me for doing such a thing.' Lan Zhan's voice was something Wei Ying had never heard before, filled with grief and confusion as if he was fighting to work out how doing such a thing could still work with his Gusu principals.

Wei Ying still held his head, looking him in the eye as he spoke. This time the words were soft and gentle, designed to coax rather than bully. The axis upon Lan Zhan's world view stood had been tilted in the past few hours and it was his job to set it back right.

'Er-ge, he's a master manipulator. He only wants you to see him as defenceless because he knows he can hurt you that way. He has never been worthy of worry from you. Do you remember that night in Nightless City when all his plans meant so many men died? When my sister died?…..he wasn't fighting then he was hiding in the shadows but do you think he was still defenceless?' Lan Zhan shook his head and Wei Ying continued. 'That evening in the temple. He wanted to kill us all, including his own nephew. He wasn't holding a sword then either he was just controlling the people who did….was he defenceless then?'

Lan Zhan shook his head again and moved to lay his head on Wei Ying's shoulder, the clawing at Wei Yings chest slowly receding as those arms wound round him like a protective cocoon. Wei Ying stroked his strong husbands hair gently as Lan Zhan rested his head and breathed in the scent of the one man who, would and could, bring the world back into balance for him.

'Sorry' Lan Zhan muttered into Wei Ying's shoulder.

Wei Ying laughed.

'Sorry for what…..you have even said yourself, we never have to say sorry to each other. '

The two just stood there for a long time, allowing Lan Zhan's breathing and emotions to get back to normal. The night watch outside was well into their patrol when Lan Zhan lifted his head from his husbands shoulder and looked into his eyes. There was no judgement in those eyes, no pity or expectation, simply love and worry. Lan Zhan reached up and stroked the hair back from Wei Ying's neck, brushing the soft skin as he did so.

Time for bed' He said quietly.

Wei Ying nodded, obviously trying to suppress a yawn.

'Yes time for bed!.'