Somewhere To Begin Chapter 3 Happily Ever After My Ass, a twilight fanfic

Abounding thanks to our spectacular team, Liz Vesper, Editor, BohemianRituals and Connie Sanders, our pre-readers.

Chapter 3: Happily Ever After My Ass

Edward

If someone told me a year ago that this would be my life, that at thirty years old I'd be divorced and living in my parent's pool house, I would have laughed.

Well actually, that's not true.

That is my life, and I haven't laughed, not once.

Who knew marriage could be so complicated? Don't get me wrong, I know it's not always a walk in the park, but it's just you think you know someone, and then boom, it all blows up in your face.

Even when you did everything you could to make it better.

Life is just fan-fucking-tastic!

The positivity is just radiating off of you.

Yes, isn't it?

Let me explain how my life has turned into one bad acid trip.

Acid trip? That's an exaggeration…

Just let me tell my story.

Gianna and I met in college, a calculus class, and instantly became friends.

I wish I could say we had some intense, passion filled start to our relationship, but we didn't, that wasn't us. That was actually one thing I like about our relationship.

We fell into a comfortable routine where we were together just about every day, whether it was in or out of school. We spent so much time together, I felt like we knew every single thing about each other.

We just clicked; we got one another.

It was no surprise to anyone when we started dating. It made sense, perfect sense.

Falling in love with her was effortless, and I couldn't imagine myself with anyone but her. I never had a relationship like that before, where things were just so easy and simple. In my mind, we belonged together. No one else had made me feel the way she did.

Needless to say, we were so in love we got married young, much younger than what our parents wanted, but we didn't care. We were sure of what we wanted—each other—and nothing was going to get in the way of that.

Cue eye-roll.

Oh, come on, you gotta love young love.

Did you really just ask that?

Anyway, we had the perfect plan. We would get married, establish our careers, have children, build a home, and grow old together. Hell, I would have even gotten a dog. I would have done anything for her.

She was my first love.

She was the woman I saw myself spending the rest of my life with.

We were supposed to have a happy life.

The life we planned.

But…

"Edward." Ma, loudly, knocked on the door.

I didn't respond. Maybe if I'm quiet, she'll go away.

"Edward." She knocked even louder. "I want to talk to you."

I remained silent and held my breath.

"Are you ignoring me?" She huffed.

If I don't answer, that would still count as an answer, right?

"That's it, I'm coming in."

Damn.

I heard the door open and then close, followed by her footsteps.

"Why is it so dark in here?" She asked. "Ugh, what is that smell?" She mumbled as she opened all the curtains. I tightened my hold on the blanket that was wrapped around me.

"Edward." She gasped once she got a look around the room. "What the hell is this?" Her eyes flicked from one area to another.

I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing came out. I didn't have an answer.

"Edward?" She looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Yes." I sighed.

She held her arms out. "This isn't like you, you're normally organized, put together and… clean." She scrunched up her nose as she looked at a pile of clothes. "What is this?"

"It's exactly what it looks like."

"What? A midlife crisis?" Her eyebrows furrowed.

"No, Ma!" I looked down, breaking our eye contact. "I-I-I'm just in a… a funk." I mumbled.

"A funk." I could hear the disbelief in her tone. "A funk?" She repeated before she blew out a breath. "Edward, there are dishes in the sink, clothes, shoes, and empty food containers all over the place. You don't want to call it a midlife crisis fine, but this is more than just a funk." She held out her hand, palm up, when I opened my mouth. "I get that this has been a struggle and an adjustment for you and Renata, but you can't keep doing this, this isn't you. I mean, you haven't been to work in weeks and…" She inhaled and then paused. "What is that smell? It really, really stinksin here." She grimaced.

"It's the smell of despair, Ma." I sunk further down into the couch. "My life has been going down shit's creek, and I'm just embracing it, my life just sucks." I shrugged.

"Very well." She walked toward me. I leaned forward because I thought she was going to hug me, instead she pinched me, hard.

"OW! Ma!" I wiggled away from her and rubbed my arm. "What was that for?" I frowned.

"You were talking crazy." She sat down beside me on the couch. "Look, son, I know things were difficult with the divorce, selling the house, and figuring out how to co-parent, but you cannot stay in this negative head space. It's not beneficial for you or Renata." She let out a deep sigh and paused, a thoughtful expression on her face. "I can't even begin to understand how you feel or what you've gone through, and I want you to know I say this because I love you."

Now I'm nervous.

She played with her wedding band. "You need to go on with your life. I'm not saying this process will always be easy, but you have to do it. Not just yourself, but for your daughter as well. When Renata isn't with Gianna, your father and I have kept her in the main house with us. I hoped it would give you the time you needed to work through your thoughts and feelings, but that's not what you're doing."

"I know." I blew out a breath. "You're right but, I just feel so… defeated. Nothing has gone to plan and…" I chuckled humorlessly. "I know I could do better, should do better, and make a better effort to… get over what happened." The words tasted like vinegar. "But I'm angry."

Ma nodded her head, listening intently.

"For fuck's sake we went to counseling, counseling Ma." I widened my eyes. "I thought we were fixing things, but…" I shrugged my shoulders. "We had a plan; we had a fucking plan." I felt my nostrils flare. "And she just…" I took a deep breath. "I wanted our marriage to work, I wanted us to be together, and I know I didn't do everything perfectly, but she just threw it all away… threw me away." I glanced down, not wanting to look her in the eyes. "What more could I have done?"

Ma placed her hand on my arm, causing me to look up. "You weren't thrown away; you could never be thrown away." She cleared her throat. "You have us: your father, brother and I, and we all love you, and you have a daughter who adores you." She cupped my cheek. "And Sweetheart, I know it may be hard for you to see right now, but you did all you could. Gianna had to figure out some things for herself, and in doing that, it had some consequences that hurt you, but there was nothing more you could've done. Do you hear me?"

I nodded my head and gave a half-hearted smile. I wasn't sure if I believed that, and she could tell.

She let out a heavy sigh. "I wish I could fix this for you, make you feel better, but I can't, and that breaks my heart." She swallowed. "I know you're hurting right now, but I need you to remember that your life doesn't have to stay like this. I know it may not seem like it now, but you can and will be happy again and more importantly we, your family, are here for you." She gave a small, warm smile. "Okay?"

"I know." I nodded my head.

"Good." She sighed as she stood up. "Now hug your mother." She held her arms out.

I stood and wrapped my arms around her, and the blanket dropped.

Oh shit. This was going to be really uncomfortable.

"Edward." Ma whispered.

"Yes?"

"Are you…" Her voice shook. "Are you naked?"

"Uh… ye-yes." I mumbled, feeling my face burn.

It was quiet between us.

And we were still hugging.

She took a deep breath. "Edward Anthony!" She pushed away from me and turned around. "You've been naked this whole time?" She shuddered.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I quickly picked the blanket up and wrapped it tightly around my waist.

"Why don't you have clothes on?" She squeaked.

I rubbed the back of my neck as I felt my face heat. "I told you I was in a funk."

"You know what? I think I've done all I could. You need your father now. I'm going to get your father." She covered her eyes with both hands before she turned back to me.

"Ma, I'm sorry, I forgot."

"Mhm." She didn't seem to hear me. "Carlisle! Carlisle!" She yelled my father's name as she blindly made her way to the door as quickly as possible.

"I'm covered now, Ma." I murmured. "You don't have to cover your eyes."

"Carlisle!" She continued to call out to him.

The likelihood of him hearing her was slim.

I watched as she tried to find her way out. "Ma watch out for the w—"

"Dammit," she said through clenched teeth.

She hit the wall pretty hard.

"Would you just move your hands before you hurt yourself, again?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine." She said as she put her hands out in front of her and slid them across the wall until she got to the door and opened it. "Carlisle." She said as she ran out, almost tripping over herself.

That was… eventful.

Embarrassing.

I walked to the door to close it, but stood there for a few moments. I hadn't been outside for a few days and the cool breeze felt nice.

After I inhaled the fresh air, I went back inside.

You know those commercials for air fresheners—the ones that say you can live with a smell so long that you become immune to it? Well, let me tell you, that's not a lie someone made up for marketing.

Ma was right. It smelled in here.

I looked around the place, for the first time noticing how messy I had been for the past week, while Renata was with her Mother.

Again, Ma was right. That really wasn't me.

I sighed. "I really need to shower." I ran my fingers through my hair. "And wash my hair." I grimaced as I felt the oil on my fingertips.

With the blanket still wrapped around me, I began cleaning. I cleaned the kitchen, put away all my clothes and shoes, and threw out all the garbage.

After I finished, I got in the shower. Under the hot stream of water, all my thought rushed at me simultaneously.

Gianna and I started having problems when Emmett and I started our business.

Now I will be the first to admit, I never planned to go into business with my brother. We just kind of fell into it, but in the end, it worked out really well for us.

In the beginning, I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to do once I got out of school, but two years after I graduated from college, one of our mutual friends, Jacob, was on the brink of losing his company, Black Enterprises. Jacob always had a love for cars, so it was no surprise that he started a business collecting and restoring exotic cars.

But three years after he opened Black Enterprises, he struggled to keep his business afloat. He came to me, asking me to help him manage his books. Of course, I agreed, and once I saw them, it disappointed me when I saw he wouldn't be able to stay in business much longer.

I wanted to find a solution and not just give Jacob bad news. I had reached out to Emmett, and of course, he ate that up. After he finished making me say he was the best and that I need him, he helped me.

With Emmett's background in marketing and mine in finance, we came up with a great business plan and decided to invest.

When we presented our ideas to Jake, he was blown away and excited.

Not only could he collect and restore cars, he could rent them out for different events, which would bring in extra money. From that, Jacob could network and build a clientele list servicing other exotic vehicles.

Surprisingly, the process of working with my bother was enjoyable, not that I would tell him that, and quite successful.

Black Enterprises was mentioned in the Hemmings magazine and Jacob also showcased one of his cars at the Chicago Auto Show, which was beneficial for us all. Jacob's business was thriving, and Emmett and I discovered we made a great working team.

Thus Cullen & Cullen Investments was born.

It took some time and hard work, but eventually our business exploded. We were always busy, meeting in and out of town, and had endless business opportunities. At one point, things got so hectic we couldn't take on any new clients.

While the money was great, and much appreciated, I really fell in love with the creating new ideas, seeing the potential a business had, formulating a plan, and then executing it. I always loved working with numbers, so obviously I enjoyed combing through a company's books and giving strategies on how they could improve, but being interested in things that had nothing to do with the finical aspect surprised me.

It was easy for me to throw myself into my job.

Sadly, it came at the expense of my marriage.

Gianna and I had so many arguments about me not being home enough. Some of them were so bad I wished I was anywhere but at home. It made me feel terrible.

Even though it was a tough thing for me to do, I took a step back from the business.

During that time, Gianna and I started spending more time together as a couple; we bought our home, and we traveled as a family. Things weren't perfect, but we were on the right track, and we were reconnecting. I thought we were getting back to being in a good place.

After several months, I decided it was time for me to get back to work. I was part owner, and I missed it, but I wanted Gianna and me to continue getting better. We had things we could've improved on, what couple didn't, so I suggested marriage counseling.

If only I had known then what I knew now.

Although we were doing good, I would have done anything to keep us going in the right direction.

One of the most important things we learned from our sessions was communication. I know how cliché that sounds, but I believed with that being a priority for the both of us, that it helped us at the time.

Before I jumped back into the business, Gianna and I had a very in-depth session with Dr. Goodwin, our therapist. We talked about how I could better manage my time, so nothing went lacking at home.

The agreement was for me to Facetime at least once a day and call. If Gianna and Renata could come with me, they would, but if not, I would fly back home earlier when I wasn't needed.

That was the plan.

It would work…

Yeah, it didn't work.

At all.

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