Somewhere To Begin Chapter 8, a twilight fanfic

Thank you to everyone who continues to read, review, and add us to your favorites and alerts. Keep'em coming… we love your thoughts!

Many thanks to our Editor, Liz Vesper. She does an AMAZING job cleaning up our words and encouraging us.

Hugs and Kisses to our sister Connie Hunter, our pre-reader that helps us with the flow of this story and her unwavering support.

Chapter 8: What Do I Like?

Edward

It's a sunny Saturday morning and I couldn't be happier than I was right now! It's almost surreal. I needed this. Hell, Renata and I needed this. It seemed like it's been downhill for several months now, one bad thing after another. A pure shit fest, if I was honest with myself. I put an offer on a condo within an hour after leaving the showing. The owner was motivated to sell because he was moving out of the country because of a promotion on his job, and I had the money readily available for his asking price. Both of our real estate agents worked profusely to close the deal. We could officially move in on Monday.

I know Renata was sleeping in a little longer than usual because she stayed up late watching movies with her grandparents, their way of celebrating our move. I popped into the main house, finding my parents who sat rather close at the kitchen table, exchanging chaste pecks on the lips with each other.

Eww.

I know I joke a lot, but it's beautiful, really. My parents would celebrate their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary this year, and they're still all over each other every opportunity they get. While it made me smile to see their love for each other was still strong, it doesn't take away that small sting I felt because that's what I thought I had.

"Morning Ma and Dad. Is it okay if I go and grab some boxes since Renata is still asleep?" I asked.

My father kissed my mother on her forehead before turning around to answer me. "A good morning it is!" He smiled, sharing an intimate look with my mother. "Sure son, that's fine. Your mother is about to start breakfast, anyway. Do you want anything before you go?" He stood up from the table with two coffee mugs and walked towards the coffee pot.

"Good morning, Edward. I'll make your favorite omelet." She smiled and walked towards the refrigerator.

"No, I'm good. I'll grab something while I'm out if I get hungry. I just want to get started with packing today."

"Um, sweetheart, I have something I'd like to ask you before you leave. Do you mind sitting down for a minute?" Esme asked.

With a puzzled expression, I closed the door and sat down at the table. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, at least I believe it will be okay." She sat in the chair next to me, gently touching my shoulder. "Have you noticed a difference in Renata's behavior lately?"

I thought about her question before I blurted out a quick answer. "Well, yes, now that you bring it up, she's been unusually quiet lately."

"That's true," Carlisle leaned against the kitchen counter. "It's like she spaces out, maybe even a little withdrawn, I think," He said. "I know she's still adjusting to everything and that it will take time." Carlisle sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "But do you think she needs therapy?"

She's always been a relatively quiet child, but even this is odd behavior for her. I figured this was her way to cope with the divorce, especially since she just started kindergarten. Everyone has an off day, but if this was becoming more consistent, maybe I should find a therapist for her.

"I don't think it would hurt to look into it, but I feel a little nervous springing another thing on her," I placed my hands under my chin. "I wish I knew what to do to make it all better for her."

"You're doing great, Edward. No parent likes to feel like they can't help their children with everything, but she may need a little more help than what you can give, and that doesn't make you a bad father," Esme said as she rubbed the back of my shoulder.

"If or when you feel Renata is ready, I can reach out to a colleague of mine and see if they can pull a few strings. I've heard that Dr. Perkins is great with kids," Carlisle said.

"Okay, let me talk to Renata first and see how she responds to it." I stood up from my chair. "I'm going to head out to get the boxes really quick, I'll be back shortly." I walked to the door.

"Drive carefully." Esme said. "Oh, before you go." She added. I stopped and turned back around. "I wanted to ask you if it would be okay if we took Renata to the children's museum and the bookstore today. We could do a little shopping for her new room, and maybe even a few toys?"

"Yeah, that fine. That'll give me the opportunity to start packing today."

"Great, we'll leave shortly after you get back. I'll go wake Renata up now." Esme headed out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and out of view.

"Ma!" I yelled after her.

"Yes?"

"No loud toys this time." I remembered the megaphone she had randomly gotten Renata because she 'asked' for it.

The only response I got was Esme's laugh that faded as she continued to walk up the stairs.

"No promises, kid," Carlisle said with mirth in his eyes as he took a sip of his coffee. "We may even give her loads of sugar before we give her back to you." He chuckled.

I walked backwards while maintaining eye contact as I made my way to the front door. "You're not funny, old man."

"I'm pretty hilarious if I say so myself." His grin stretched from one ear to the other.

"Whatever makes you feel better old timer."

"Your mother thinks I'm quite youthful." He smirked.

"Goodbye, dad." I ended the conversation and heard him laugh softly. Once I was outside, I laughed at my dad's humor, got into my car, and left.

I pulled into the Menards parking lot, quickly parked, and headed inside.

"Thank you for coming to Menards. My name is Jim, is there anything I can help you with?"

"I need cardboard boxes."

"You can find cardboard boxes on aisle nine as well as our other moving supplies."

"Thanks." I nodded and walked away.

When I turned down aisle nine and saw a plethora of boxes, I paused. Why were there so many options? A box is a box, right? I hadn't dealt with the hassle of packing myself, when it was determined in the divorce proceedings our house would be sold. I hired movers to pack up and move everything of mine and Renata's to storage. It was too painful to be in the house that I once called home anymore, much less see Gianna.

Moving was tiring, but I was unable to concentrate on anything else since I got the phone call that my offer was accepted. I've been doing things totally outside of my character. I hated shopping of any kind, but Renata and I looked at some furniture online, and even bought cookware.

The shit I'd hear if Emmett caught me buying pots and pans!

I grew tired of looking at the many options of medium sizes boxes and went with the one directly in front of me.

"Excuse me sir, do you need some help?"

I almost dropped the boxes I was holding from how quick I turned around. I didn't realize someone was standing so close behind me. "No, I've got what I need." I turned to meet the gaze of a man about my height. "Do you work here?" I noticed he wasn't wearing the typical green Menards uniform.

"God, no. You would never catch me in that awful green color. I didn't mean to startle you. It's just…" He sighed as he put his hands in his pockets. "Have you ever thought about modeling." His eyes moved up and down my body.

What the hell?

I took a step back because he was too close for my comfort. "Um… no, I haven't."

"I don't mean to be too forward, but you are quite beautiful."

Was he batting his eyelashes at me?

I cleared my throat. "Thank you?" I looked around nervously.

"Well, if you ever consider it." He pulled his hand out of his pocket and stretched it out to me with a thin card offered between his fingers. "Here's my business card."

I took the card, barely glanced at it, and hoped to end the conversation sooner than later. "I appreciate the offer, but I don't think modeling is for me."

"Well, you hold on to that, just in case you change your mind. You could also call for non-business-related matters as well." His eyes appraised my body again while he smiled.

I felt my eyes widen. "Oh." I let out a shaky laugh. "Again, I appreciate the offer." I reached my hand out to give him his card back "But no thank you, sir. I'm fine."

He took a step back and ran his tongue over his teeth. "You most certainly are." He winked, turned and walked away.

For a moment I stood frozen, my hand still stretched out holding his business card.

I shook my head, chuckled to myself, and grabbed a discarded basket to put my boxes in. I decided at the last minute to pick up some tape and bubble wrap, so I could hurry and leave.

It felt like I waited in the checkout line for hours, and my stomach reminded me that I didn't eat any breakfast. Once I was outside, I loaded all of my purchases in the truck, hopped in, and headed to Portillo's to pick up an early lunch, then made my way home.

After I finished eating, I changed my clothes and began assembling the boxes. I turned the TV on for background noise. It was a bit too quiet. I was the only home, and it was getting to me. To distract myself, I started packing my room first.

Packing was a mindless task and before I knew it, I sealed up the last box of my clothes, leaving enough out for the week. The ring of my cellphone brought me back to the present. I followed the sound and saw my phone on the kitchen counter. I glanced at time on the microwave and noticed I'd been packing for a little over two hours.

"Hello."

"Ed, what's up dude?"

"Nothing much, J. I've been packing."

"Packing? You got your own place?"

"Yeah, we're moving in the Gold Coast district," I said.

"Sweet! Look, do you have any plans tonight?"

"Not really. Jellybean is with my parents for the day. Whatcha got in mind?"

"Meet us at The Whistler around eight o'clock."

"Who's we?"

"Jacob, Emmett, you and me. We need to catch up, it's been a while, you know."

"Yeah, Jasper, I know." I sighed. "I've been M.I.A. for some time, sorry about that." I rubbed my eyes roughly with my hand.

"No need to apologize, man. I won't try to pretend I know what you're going through, but I want you to know that I'm here, even if it's just to listen. But that's not what tonight is about. Let's get some drinks and chill."

"That sounds good to me. I'll see you at eight."

After I hung up, I called Esme to see if it would be okay if she watched Renata this evening.

After a few rings she said, "Hey Honey."

"Hey Ma, is everything going alright?"

"We're having a great time. We just left the museum and we're headed to the bookstore now."

"Is Renata okay?"

"Of course, she's always an angel. Did you need something?"

"Jasper wants to get together tonight, I just wanted to make sure you and dad would be okay with that," I said.

"Yes, that's fine, we still have some other stores to stop by. Do you want to speak with Renata just in case you're gone before we get back?"

"Yeah, let me speak to her."

I overhear some shuffling. "Hi Daddy. I got to dig for bones in the… the… what's that word again, MayMay?" She paused for a beat. "In the dinosaur expedition."

"Sounds like you're having fun, Jellybean."

"I am Daddy, I'm gonna pick out some books too. Will you read to me?"

"You bet I will." I waited to see if she'd say anything else, but when she didn't, I continued. "I'm going out with Uncle Jasper tonight. I may not be here when you get back, so I wanted to tell you goodnight and that I love you."

"I'm not going to bed now, Daddy." She laughed. "Love you too."

She must have given the phone back to Esme. "Alright, Sweetheart, we just got to the bookstore. Have fun, and if you're going to be drinking, take a cab home."

"I know Ma. I'll see you guys later."

"Love you, bye."

"You too."

I hung up the phone and looked around the pool house. I realized I packed up almost everything and had nothing else to do. The majority of what's here belonged to my mom. Renata's and my things were still in storage, and I already made arrangements to have those boxes moved.

To pass the time, I plopped down onto the couch and flipped through the channels, searching for a game or a movie to help with my boredom. I couldn't believe all these channels were on the TV, but I couldn't find a damn thing to watch. I didn't feel like going to the gym since I got a good workout cleaning and packing up the pool house. I could pack up Renata's clothes tomorrow since she didn't have a lot here.

Giving up, I turned the TV off and threw the remote down on the coffee table. Slouching back on the couch, I mentally went through all my projects at work to see if I could work on anything. Nope, nothing there either. It was a busy week, but thankfully, I was all caught up there.

I scanned the books on the bookshelf to see if there was anything I hadn't read yet. Nada! I've read all of those too. I guess that's what happened when you holed up in the house for weeks with little outside communication.

Damn! When did I get here? I guess I never realized how much Gianna pulled me out of my shell. I knew I was more of a homebody, but not to this extent. I went to work, had Renata every other week, and came home. When did my life become so… routine? Had it always been like this? Obviously, I needed to find hobbies outside of work.

That shouldn't be too hard, right?

Okay, let's start simple, what did I like? I liked my job, reading, music… who doesn't love music?

Oh god, was that it?

Feeling fidgety, I jumped off the couch and paced. "Come on, think, it shouldn't be this difficult." I like…. I like…

I had no fucking idea.

Was this what a mid-life crisis felt like?

Wait, maybe I should make a list. That's it, I just needed to make a list. I'm a visual person, and once I started writing, I was sure it would all come back to me.

I walked to the bookshelf and grabbed a notepad and pen from the bottom shelf, before taking a seat back on the couch. At the top of the paper, I wrote: What Do I Like, and repeated all the things I already knew.

My job.

Reading.

Music.

When seconds went by and still nothing came to mind, I started tapping the pen on the notepad. Without my knowledge, my leg started shaking. "Relax, take a deep breath. Just let it come to you, don't overthink it."

Running! I liked running. I hadn't done it in a while. I'll definitely get back to that.

One, two, three, four.

There were only four things I knew I liked. Technically, three, if I excluded my job. That's… sad. Maybe I should try making a list of what I think I would like. I turned to a fresh page and wrote: What I Think I Could Like. When I started to get a headache, I decided, to let google help me. Picking up my phone, I searched hobbies for men.

That should have been general enough.

"Okay let's have a look here."

Woodworking could be fun. I decided to write that on my possibilities list.

Cooking. I probably should look into this anyway, so Renata doesn't have to suffer too much from my lack of skills in the kitchen. I mean, I could make a mean grilled cheese, but I didn't think I'd be impressing Chef Ramsay anytime soon. I wrote that down and put a star next to it for emphasis.

Hunting. That sounded… dangerous. The only image that popped into my head was the bear mauling scene from the movie The Revenant. Great film, yet I didn't feel like having my own bear encounter. To be fair, he wasn't hunting, which doesn't make it any better, I guess. So hunting? No, thank you.

Dancing. I figured I'd save Renata and myself from that embarrassment.

Backpacking. I could see Jellybean and I doing this. On the list, it went.

Parachuting. Sounded like it could be as dangerous as hunting, but… I could live on the edge a little. I wrote this one down as well.

Knife throwing. Sounded cutthroat. Ha, I cracked myself up. I passed on that for now.

Learning a different language. I could benefit from this, and Renata could do it with me. I wrote that down.

Looking over the list of things I could like, and it made me feel a bit better. Glancing at the time on my phone, I saw it was five o'clock. If I took a long shower and even longer to get dressed, hopefully, it would be seven o'clock by the time I was done.

I took advantage of the extravagant shower, and the hot water that hit me from every direction. I felt my muscles relax while I washed my day off. When the bathroom was completely full of steam, I figured it was time to get out. Shortly after I put on a pair of dark blue jeans, with a green long-sleeve shirt, and a pair of green boots.

Grabbing my phone off the counter, I noticed it was only 6:30. Damn, I still had time to kill. Whatever, I'd just be early. I put on my jacket, picked up my keys and wallet, and walked out the door.

Traffic was unbelievably light for a Saturday night. I got there quicker than expected, but I found a good parking space, so I didn't have to walk too far to the bar.

At least, my lack of hobbies paid off somewhere.

I took a seat at the bar. "What can I get for ya?" The young bartender asked while he dried a glass.

I glanced at the menu. "Gimmie a Murphy's."

"Coming right up." He turned around, grabbed a clean pint glass, topped it off before setting it in front of me.

I watched the White Sox played against the New York Yankees to pass the time and nursed my beer.

"What's up, Edward?" Jasper asked as he lightly tapped me on the shoulder. "You're early, how long have you been here?"

"Not too long ago. Good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, man. Let's move to a table, Em and Jake will be here soon."

Grabbing my beer, I followed behind Jasper to a table in the back, and took a seat.

"How have you been doing?" Jasper took his jacket off and placed it on his chair before he sat.

"I'm doing good." It felt nice to say that and mean it.

"That's great! I'm glad things are looking up for you."

Before I could respond, Emmett and Jacob walked up to the table.

"What's up geek squad?" Emmett smiled and put his fist out for a fist pound. Jacob chuckled, shook his head, and held his hand up for a fist pound as well.

"Jake! How the hell are you?" I asked.

"It's all good, dude." Jacob laid his jacket across the back of the chair.

"Hey Jas, are you stilled buried under all those papers?" Emmett pulled his chair out to sit down.

Shortly after, the waitress came to the table to take our order. I guess nobody really ate much today because I was sure she would need help to bring all that food back to the table.

Jasper clapped his hands together once. "So, it's time for us to play catch up. Any takers?"

Jacob pressed his body against the back of his chair. "Business is going great. It's been hard to keep up with the new clientele. I've been interviewing for more help." He smiled. "Me and Ivy took the next step, we're moving in together."

"Excuse me gentlemen, here are your drinks." We all leaned back as the waitress set our drinks down on the table. "I'll be back with your food in a moment," she said before walking away.

"That's good Jake, I didn't know you guys were that serious. I hope it goes well for you all," Jasper said.

"Lucky for you, the poor girl doesn't know what's she's getting herself into." Emmett shook his head. "You better marry her quick. I don't know any other women who would put up with you." He took a sip of his beer and smirked.

"Ha-ha, hilarious Em." Jacob rolled his eyes. "We've been together for a year now. I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her." His eyes widened when his gaze landed on me. "Oh shit, my bad Ed, you probably don't want to hear about all of this."

He wasn't completely wrong, but I'm not that much of an ass to begrudge my friends to talk about their relationships. "Nah, man, it's fine. You sound like you're happy. You don't have to bite your tongue for me."

"Here is your food," the waitress said as she and another waiter sat our food on the table. "Is there anything else I can get for you all?"

"No thank you, we're good," Jasper said.

"Okay, I'll check in on you guys in a bit. Enjoy." walked away to check on her other tables.

"Well, that enough about me, what's going on with the rest of you?" Jacob looked around the table.

"I can't complain, just been working, but you know how that goes. I met up with a pastry chef this week. A friend of mine asked me to meet with her so I could take over her marketing account." He paused, a goofy smile spread over his face. "Dude, she's hot. We're going out next week."

"You have a date with the owner of Touch of Butter, a potential client?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah man, don't get all uptight about it." He took a bite of his food.

"Be careful, Emmett. You know I don't like to mix business with pleasure."

"You worry too much, Eddie, it'll be fine. I mean, who could resist me." He smiled, putting his dimples on display.

"Anyone with common sense." My voice was dry, but I couldn't hide my smile. Jacob and Jasper laughed as Emmett's smile fell. "I guess it's my turn now. Things are going well. Renata and I will be moving into our new place next week."

"Oh, congratulations, man. I'm happy for you. I have to admit I was worried about you for a while." Jacob took a sip of his beer.

"Yeah, I know, it wasn't looking too good, but I'm in a different head space now, a better one."

Emmett cleared his throat before speaking. "Eddie, I know I joke around with you a lot, but you know I've got your back. It's good to see you're getting back to yourself."

"Thanks man, I appreciate it." I smiled.

There never was a doubt in my mind that the three men at the table with me wouldn't be there for me when I need them. We've always been there for each other. After I received the final divorce paperwork, I completely shut down. That paper represented failure to me, and I didn't want to be around anybody, much less talk about it.

It may not have been much to someone else, but I was celebrating the baby steps. I was proud of myself. I actually sat down and made a "to do" list for Renata and me. It may have seemed a bit robotic, but it I was getting to know myself again. I was sure they would be just as proud, but I didn't share it with them today. I wanted to do it first and then tell them about it.

"Edward, is there anything else you wanted to say?" Jasper asked.

"Nah, man." I shook my head.

Jasper nodded his head with a twinkle in his eyes. "As you all know, Alice and I have been dating for several months now."

"We've only heard about her for months, but we haven't met her yet. Why are you hiding her from us, Jas?" Emmett smirked.

"Yeah, we want to meet this mystery lady we keep hearing about." Jacob smirked.

"I'm not hiding her from you. Although, I thought if I exposed her to you too soon, you may run her off. You know how charming I can be, I wanted to give her time to soak it all in." Jasper popped his collar.

"Natural charm, my ass." I laughed.

Jasper gave me the finger. "Anyway, you ass. We want to have a get together so you can officially meet Alice and her friends. Will two weeks from today work for you gentlemen?"

We all shook our heads at once.

"We should be settled in by then. I'll be there." I said.

Emmett smiled and rubbed his palms together. "I'll be on my best behavior."

"That's what I'm concerned about." Jasper grimaced.

A/N: He Came Along by Hopesparkle, we rec'd this last chapter but we finished it…great read!

The Swan's Family is Alright, this is a WIP by WriterGirl913, great story…we can't wait to see where it goes.

Once again, thank you for your encouraging reviews…putting our story on alert and favorite. We're blown away by the many responses.

What do you think of Edward's list? Have you ever had to discover or rediscover what you like? What did you think of the gathering of the guys conversation?

Carlisle and Esme can't seem to keep their hands off each other….too cute. See you next time!