Somewhere To Begin Chapter 15, a twilight fanfic

To our Editor, Liz Vesper, who worked through another long chapter, a BIG THANK YOU… we appreciate your amazingness (if that's even a word). lol We love the way you continue to challenge us!

To our pre-reader, Connie Sanders, we'll never get tired of expressing our gratitude to you for everything you do to add to our story!

See you at the bottom…

Chapter 15: Acceptance

Edward

The morning after the dinner party…

Have you ever laid in bed and thought about something you said or did when you were in the sixth grade and that memory keeps you up all night? Even twenty years later?

It didn't hit me until later, much later, that I had said something so… sad? Embarrassing.

I told them I liked lists and organization.

That's gonna play in your head like a broken record for a while.

Lists and organization.

See what I mean.

It was time to do something different.

Damn right!

Be someone different, better.

Hell yeah!

Right here, right now!

It's 5 a.m.… on a Sunday.

Okay, well later today then.

When it was a reasonable hour, I decided we would do something out of the norm. This would be good for Renata and me. It wasn't on my list, but I felt Renata would enjoy this and it's something neither of us did before. I wanted to spend quality time with my baby girl.

We were up and out by nine o'clock. I stopped at Starbucks to pick up some breakfast sandwiches, juice and coffee to eat in the car on the way. We hit the expressway headed to Hobart, IN to County Line Orchard to pick apples, walk around the kid's farm, and enjoy the Barnyard Jams Band while eating lunch.

I had my camera on the passenger seat ready to capture warm memories to look back on. I smiled as I looked in the rearview mirror at Renata as she looked out the window, enjoying the scenery.

I promised my Mother I would bring back enough apples so she could make some homemade apple pies. Just thinking about her pies made my mouth water. There were many days when Emmett and I were younger, we would fight over her pies, but Dad was much worse, he went as far as hiding slices of pie in his home office.

I shook my head as I reminisced on some of the crazy theatrics we did and still do as a family. My family was crazy as hell, but they've been Renata's and my rocks through the roller coaster ride our lives have been on these past months.

I got lost in the comfortable silence of the ride with Andy McKee instrumentals that played in the background. A few times when I peeked on Jellybean in the back seat, she bobbed her head to the music.

"You alright back there, Sweetheart?"

"Yeah, I'm good. I like looking at the cows and horses."

"You're going to see more than that when we get where we're going. We should be there soon."

"I can't wait, Daddy. Can we bring Aiden next time?"

I guess they really were friends now.

I chuckled and raised my eyebrows. "I don't see why not, but we'll have to ask Aiden's Mom."

"It'll be fun if they come."

"I'm sure it will be, but I'm happy we get to spend some more time together today."

She giggled. "Daddy, I like when it's just us sometimes, you're fun."

She just made me feel ten-feet tall.

"I love being with you too, Jellybean."

We continued to enjoy our ride as we pointed out some animals we saw along the way. About forty-minutes later we pulled into the hay filled parking.

After I paid the for our admission, they gave us bags to put our apples in. Before we walked in, there was an older man that gave us tips on how to pick the apples. Who would have known the proper way to pick an apple is to roll the apple upward off the branch and then give a little twist? I had no idea there were so many types of apples to choose from.

Renata has always loved the Granny Smith apples, so we grabbed plenty of those. Not to mention enough so Mom can make her delicious apple pies. It surprised me when Jellybean started picking apples with another little girl named Ava who was here with her grandparents. She tended to keep to herself a bit. I've realized that it's possible that might be a trait she got from me. Maybe getting out more would be a good thing for her too.

After we filled up four bags of apples, paid for them and took them to the truck, we ventured to the kid's farm. We feed the little pigs, goats, horses, and rabbits; we walked to the pond and threw fruit and vegetables to the ducks. I took pictures as we strolled through the straw maze and later rode the pedal tractor.

We were starved after all the activity, so we grabbed pizza slices and lemonade and relaxed in the picnic area as we enjoyed the band play. Before we left, Renata asked to ride the Moo-Choo ride so we could see the entire farm. Of course, I complied.

Tired wasn't even the word to describe how I felt by the time we walked back to the truck. But Renata had a big smile on her face as she spoke animatedly about the fun she had and how she wanted Aiden to come with her next time.

Within the first ten minutes of our ride home, she passed out, snoring and all. It may not be much to anyone else, but I was proud of myself for planning this outing for us. Usually this is something Gianna would have done.

I know Mom expected me to drop the apples by tonight, but I was exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower and relax for the rest of the evening.

"Siri, call Mom." The voiced confirmed and called.

"Hi, Sweetie."

"Hey, Mom."

"So how was it? Did ReRe enjoy herself?"

I chuckled. "If her being knocked out and snoring in the back seat is any indication, I would say yes."

"Did you take pictures?"

"Yes."

"Perfect!"

"I got the apples, but I wanted to know if it would be okay if I dropped them off tomorrow after work, I'm too tired to stop by today."

"Oh, that's okay, Honey. I'm sure you're tired, the ride is over an hour one way, get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, love you."

"Love you too." She cooed before the call ended.

With the car being quiet, this gave me the opportunity to go over my 'Things I'd like to do list' in my head. Cooking classes were at the top of my list since the only thing I could make editable was grilled cheese. Eating out all the time wasn't healthy, and it can get expensive and as good of a cook as Mom is, it's time for me to learn to cook for me and Renata.

Earlier today I Googled some cooking classes in the area and found Cozymeal, they had a variety of classes I was interested in taking. It's child friendly, and they offer couple and group classes. Maybe in good faith I could ask Gianna if she'd want to go with Renata and me.

I felt my stomach roll a bit.

I know you're forgiving and all, but how about we start with a smaller step, like talking consistently?

Yeah… Agreed.

But you could ask Bella and Aiden.

I find my thoughts have been going back to Bella and Aiden a lot lately, including them in things I'd like the two of us to do or the four of us do together. The thought of it is comforting, but I'm not sure if I can actually follow through on the thought.

It's only been one day and yet I've thought about her more than I probably should've. It was nice to talk to someone; a woman that understood me even when I knew I was rambling. I talked about one of the hardest challenges in my life since the divorce with ease… it felt good. Even after we went home that night, I didn't regret anything I said. Okay, nothing else besides the list and organization comment.

Thankfully, I pulled into my assigned space in the parking garage and rubbed my eyes; I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep them open. I couldn't wait to pass out for an afternoon nap. I left the apples in the car for now; I picked her up and carried her for the ride up on the elevator. She was more tired than I thought because she didn't wake up even after I removed her jacket.

I grabbed the throw blanket from the couch, turned EPSN on with the volume low enough to hear, and cuddled myself and Renata in on the couch.

An hour and a half later, I woke up to big greenish-hazel eyes staring at me, resting on my chest.

"You hungry, Daddy?"

I rubbed my eyes and chuckled as I set up. "Yeah, baby, what do you want to eat?"

"Some barbeque." She stood in front of me.

"How about Chicago Q?"

She stretched and groaned out. "Yes."

"Barbeque it is then."

When we finished eating, Renata watched Mulan, and I grabbed my phone to check through my emails, but a notification caught my attention.

Bella sent me a friend request.

While I wasn't crazy about social media, I did post occasionally, nothing profound, but nothing vapid; at least, I hoped not. Actually, now that I think about it, I needed to change my relationship status from married to… divorced.

Maybe I can just change it to complicated.

No, you're definitely divorced.

Mmm, I'll just remove married and then leave that question unanswered.

"Okay, now that, that's done." I mumbled.

"Huh?" Renata looked at me.

"I was just talking to myself."

She tilted her head. "Why?"

"I… well, sometimes…" I trailed off and scratched my forehead. "It's just something I do sometimes."

"Oh." She turned back to her movie.

Really answered that.

I let out a breath and looked back down at my phone.

I accepted her friend request and looked through some of her pictures. She had a lot of different shots with Alice and Rosalie and a couple who I believed to be her parents; she looked like both of them, but more so her father than her mother. And of course, her and Aiden in different places. The picture I noticed the most was a candid shot. It looked like someone called her name at the last second, before the picture was taken. She was in mid-laugh and it revealed the hazel specks in her eyes.

I felt like a creep the longer I stared at it, so I quickly closed the app and set the phone down.

While the midday power nap did both of us some good, we were still tired from the drive and the activities, so we prepared for bed. Renata took a bath with her favorite soap, sweet almond and lavender while I perused my closet for what I'd wear tomorrow. When Jellybean got out of the tub, we picked her outfit as well. I read one of her new favorite books, Our Little Kitchen, but before I could finish, she fell asleep.

I took a fifteen-minute shower, put on my flannel pajama pants with a t-shirt, and was out for the count in less than five minutes.

STB

Be productive.

Really?

How lame can I be? Come on Cullen, of all the things to say, I said that.

I just can't be smooth around her; it's like everything comes flying out of my mouth. And at one point in my life, I was a real lady's man. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a player or anything, but I wasn't hurting in that department either.

When did I become so… uncool?

While on my drive to work, I cringed as I thought about my interaction with Bella. Have I always been this corny?

And to think today started off really good. Well, as good as any day could start when you have a six-year-old who isn't a morning person. That is definitely something she got from her mother. Gianna needed at least thirty minutes to 'wake up' before she could even talk to anyone, and Renata was the same way.

We had a simple breakfast of eggs, toast, and fruit. And I can say with pride that the eggs weren't even a little burned this time. After we finished eating, we did our hygiene and got dressed. But what really took up the most time was when I tried to do her hair.

Braiding was a complete failure.

Yeah, you aimed a bit high with that.

And who knew ponytails could be just as difficult?

In the end, I just brushed her hair and let it flow down her back.

I wonder if there are classes that teach fathers how to do their daughter's hair?

We grabbed our bags and made our way to the truck. Renata seemed to be lost in thought on the ride.

"Jellybean." I called as I glanced in the rear-view mirror. "What are you thinking about?"

"Do you think Den will still be my friend today?"

"I think so. You all seemed to have gotten along just fine a couple of day ago." I said just as I pulled into the school and parked.

I got out of the truck and then helped Renata out. It was warmer today, so I put her coat in her bookbag.

As we walked towards the school, Renata yelled. "Den!"

Once we were close enough, Aiden said. "Hey, Ren."

When we all greeted each other, they talked amongst themselves and all doubt melted away for her.

While Bella and I walked back to our trucks, someone bumped into her and I caught her. I would like to say I helped her up and admittedly let go of her, but I didn't. I got caught up in her eyes. When I looked into them, all I could think about was the picture I'd seen the night before. I wondered what made her laugh.

Like a good deep bellied laugh.

A honking horn snapped me out of my thoughts and brought me back to the present, still cringing.

Be productive?

Maybe you should organize your thoughts and make a list of what not to say in front of her.

Ha, ha. I see what you did there.

I chuckled at myself as I pulled into Cullen & Cullen. I parked my car, grabbed my satchel and went inside.

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen." Carmen said with unnecessarily deep and prolonged eye contact.

"Good morning, Carmen." I coughed.

She looked at the computer screen. "Your schedule is quite busy today." She licked her lips a beat too long. "Is there anything you need?"

"No thank you Carmen, I won't be needing anything from you." I raised my eyebrows. "Have Emmett come to my office when he gets here."

She looked at her computer screen. "Um, yes, sir, Mr. Cullen."

I nodded curtly and walked toward my office.

It may be time to get a new assistant.

After I turned my computer on and organized all of my folders for the meetings I had today, I went to the break room and made myself some hazelnut coffee. I closed my office door behind me and pulled my phone out of my pocket and clicked the number.

"Good morning, PlayWorks Children's Therapy, how may I assist you?" The lady asked.

"Good morning, my name is Edward Cullen, and I would like to make an appointment for my daughter, Renata Cullen, with Dr. Madelynn Perkins, please."

"Why yes, Mr. Cullen, we've been expecting your call. Dr. Cullen said you would be making an appointment." She paused briefly as I heard her typing on a keyboard. "I have Dr. Perkin's schedule in front of me now, what's a good day and time for you?"

I pulled my schedule up on my computer. "Well, I was hoping to get her in this week, if at all possible. What do you have available for this week any time after 3:00?

"Ah, let me see." I heard her clicking the mouse. "I don't have anything available this week, but there is an opening next Thursday at 3:45."

"That's perfect." I smiled.

"Okay, Mr. Cullen, I have Renata on the schedule."

"Great."

I heard more clicking on the keyboard. "May I have your email address, there is paperwork that has to be filled out before you come, and I'd like to send it to you now; unless you would like to come in twenty-minutes early the day of the appointment and to do it then?"

"No, I'll give you my email address." I rattled my email address to her.

"Okay, got it. It should come through momentarily." She cleared her throat. "708-721-1888 came up on the caller ID. Can I add this as your contact number, Mr. Cullen?"

"Yes, you can. That's my personal cell number."

"Great. Please make sure you have your insurance card and ID, along with all the paperwork I just emailed you. We'll see you Thursday at 3:45."

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

"You're welcome. Have a good day."

"You do the same." I disconnected the call.

I wasn't sure what Gianna's schedule looked like this week, but she assured me she would be there. Before I got started with my day, I called Gianna.

"Hi, Edward."

"Hey, Gianna. How are you?"

"I'm good. Just in the middle of working on a very lengthy project."

"Alright then I'll make it quick." I clicked on the email that just came through with the therapy paperwork. "Renata has an appointment with Dr. Perkins at PlayWorks Children's Therapy, Thursday at 3:45."

"Oh, let me check my schedule to see if I need to move anything around." She clicked her lips. "I'm good, I don't have anything scheduled. Can you text me the address?"

"Yes, I'll do that once we hang up."

"Great. I don't mean to be short, but I'm working on a time sensitive project."

"My schedule is hectic today too. I'll see you Thursday."

"Bye, Edward."

"Bye." I disconnected the call and laid my phone on the desk and began my day.

I ran the numbers again for Dark Dining and just as I closed the folder, Emmett tapped on the door and walked in.

"What's up Ed, Carmen said you wanted to see me."

I got up and walked around to the front of my desk and leaned on it. "Before I get started, Dude we gotta do something about her." I rolled my eyes. "Usually, her advances don't bother me, but she's become too much, and I don't think it's worth keeping her around."

Emmett held his hands up in surrender. "I get it, whatever you want to do is fine with me. We can put out an ad for a new assistant; it took us a while to find her though."

That was true.

"We can discuss this more another time." I waved my hand as I dismissed the thought. "Anyway, I just finished looking at Dark Dining's numbers again and they're on point."

"What did I tell you." He picked me up and swung me around. "I told you Eddie, I would never steer you wrong. You'll listen next time."

"Put me down jackass." I tried to fight back my smile as he sat me down, but I wasn't successful.

He rocked on his toes. "Admit it, I was right."

"Yeah, yeah." I glanced at my watch. "You were right, whatever."

Emmett boomed a laugh. "You're just beauty, but I'm beauty and brains."

I gave Emmett the one-finger salute and walked to my chair. "Whitney will be here shortly; go get your shit together. On your way out, make sure Carmen set up the conference room."

"I'm always on top of my shit." Emmett smirked.

I contemplated if I would respond to that but decided against it since it would've only kept him in my office longer.

Whitney showed up ten minutes later and we all convened in the conference room, went over all the necessary paperwork and by the end of the meeting we'd invested in Dark Dining.

"This is going to be so great." Emmett said as we stood around.

"Yeah, I'm excited." She grinned. "I'm happy that you both see what my vision is for my restaurant."

"We loved your concept, and the food was fantastic." I said.

"It sure was." Emmett agreed.

"Thank you." She curtseyed. "I'm testing out a new recipe, would you guys be interested in trying it?"

"Tell me when and I'll be there." Emmett said as he rubbed his stomach.

She laughed. "Okay, we'll set something up." She looked at her watch. "I got to get a move on it, I'm meeting a vendor in a few, it's a pleasure doing business with you." She said.

"The pleasure is ours." I said as we shook hands.

"See you later Whitney." Emmett shook her hand.

After Whitney left, Emmett and I were in meeting after meeting.

I love my job; I really do. But time seemed to stand still, and each meeting felt like it would never end. We didn't even have time for lunch; something that Emmett groaned about until the end of the business day.

Once we were outside, I threw my things on the passenger side and stood at the hood of the car facing Emmett.

"I'm starving!" He groaned as he rubbed his stomach. "What are you going to get for dinner?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Don't know, whatever Renata wants." Then I remembered I had to drop the apples off. "If Ma cooked, we'll probably eat there, I have to drop off the apples Renata, and I picked Sunday."

"Ma's making apple pie?"

"She said she would."

"Looks like I'm coming over for dinner tonight."

I laughed. "I doubt she'll be making any tonight."

"That's fine. I'll just remind her tonight that her favorite son would like a pie to himself."

I frowned. "You don't have to tell Ma I want a pie to myself."

"You poor child." He sighed. "You just can't accept the truth, can you?" He shook his head and placed his hand on my shoulder.

Our parents never had a favorite, one was never treated better than the other, they loved us both the same but… if there ever was a favorite, it for sure would have been me.

"Emmett—"

"Shh, it's okay." He slapped me on the back. "We don't have to talk about it now, I know the truth must be hard for you besides, we need to stick together against Dad."

"Your ridiculous." I chuckled.

He nodded his head and got in his car. "That may be so." He closed the door, turned the car on and rolled down the window. "But I'm Ma's favorite." He put his seatbelt on and smiled. "See you later, Ed." He said before he drove off.

I shook my head and got in my truck and made my way to Renata's school.

When I got there, I parked and went to wait in the pickup area. To pass the time, I pulled my phone out.

Well, well, well, what do we have here?

Without being consciously aware of it, I found myself back on Facebook… looking at Bella's picture.

It's not a crime to look at a nice picture.

No, but how many times will you look at it?

"Hey, Mr. Productive." I heard Bella call.

It's cute when she say's it.

I jerked and quickly closed my phone. Didn't want her to think I lurk on her Facebook page.

But you do.

Not consistently, though.

While we were waiting, her hand brushed against mine and it felt like I had just been shocked, but I didn't pay much attention to it.

We talked briefly about work before Ms. Cope and the kids came out.

Ms. Cope informed us about an upcoming field trip and how they were looking for a few parents to volunteer, I would look at the permission slip when we went home.

After Bella and Mrs. Cope finished talking, the kids roped us into going to the park. I could never say no to Renata, especially when she looked at me with her big green eyes. And it was warm today, so why not?

When we go to the park, I found myself just talking, unintentionally spilling the random thoughts that go through my head, which turned into us having a much deeper conversation than I expected us to have. Maybe that would be the pattern between us; we start with a light conversation and then I tell her all my secrets. I didn't think I minded that too much. But before we could continue, the kids were calling us.

Thankfully, neither one of them were hurt or bleeding, but they had found a dog, or a dog found them. Either way, we had to do something and quick, before one of us became a pet owner.

I called Jacob and told him the situation. He added Ivey to the call, and she told me I could bring the dog to her clinic. She gave me the address, and we ended the call. Aiden and Renata didn't seem so happy about that but, the dog looked too clean to have been on the streets long, I'm sure someone was looking for him or her.

I asked for Bella's number so I could give her updates.

That was pretty slick, you sly dog you.

No, it's not like that at all. I'll just be texting her to keep her informed about the dog, nothing more.

Right… because you couldn't have just sent her a message on Facebook.

We're friends, and friends have each other's phone numbers.

The kids played, and the dog chased them around. Renata looked so happy and carefree.

A dog can't be that much work… can it?

Maybe I can get her one of the small ones.

I shook that thought out of my head and ran off to get something to wrap the dog in. When I got back, Bella was petting the dog. It was pretty cute and seemed mild-mannered.

I wrapped the dog up in an old gym shirt and we walked to our trucks. I promised to text Bella later after I laid the dog in the passenger seat, Renata got into her booster seat and then we left.

On the drive to Ivey's clinic, the dog whimpered and got as close as it could get and laid its head in my lap. I glanced down. It looked at me and blinked slowly. It felt like the dog was almost pouting. I couldn't stop myself if I wanted to. I rubbed his head, and the whimpering stopped.

"Daddy." Renata whined. "Can we please keep him?"

I let out a breath through my nose as I continued to pet the dog. "Let's give it a few days okay, if no one claims him we can talk about keeping him."

When did we decide this?

Renata cheered. "We're getting a dog! I can't wait to tell Den!"

"Hold on a second, I didn't say we were getting a dog just yet."

She didn't hear me. "We can play with him, we can dress him up, we can give him a bath."

"We have to see if he has any owners, Honey."

"It's going to be so much fun!" She squealed.

I sighed as I pulled into the clinic, Paws and All. I didn't want to dampen her mood, so it looked like whether it's this dog or another, we'll be getting one.

We got out of the car and went inside.

"Hello and welcome to Paws and All. How may I help you?" A young blond man asked as soon as we walked in.

We walked to the counter, and I sat the dog beside me on the floor. "We're here to see Ivey. My name is Edward Cullen."

He nodded his head. "She told me you were coming. Follow me." He stood and began walking, I picked the dog up and we followed behind him. "You'll be in examine room number four." He opened the door. "She'll be right with you." He said as he smiled before he closed the door.

I sat the dog on the exam table.

Renata stood beside me and rubbed the dog's leg. "I think we should name you Sprinkles, even if you are a boy." She whispered.

As I chuckled, the door opened. "Hey Edward, Hi Renata." Ivey said as she walked into the room. "An English bulldog, I love those!" she gushed.

"Hi Ivey." I said while Renata waved. "How have you been?"

"I'm doing great! Thank you for asking, how about you?" She said as she washed her hands.

"We're doing good. I can't complain." I place my hand over my chest. "Thank you again for seeing us, I really appreciate it. We weren't sure what to do." I said as Renata and I took a seat in the available chairs.

She dried her hands and threw the paper towel away before she turned around. "It's no trouble at all, trust me. It was a pretty slow day for me, anyway." She smiled and walked toward the exam table. "Now let's see who we have here." She ran her hands over the dog's abdomen. "This is a boy." She put her hands on his face and looked at him. "I would say he's about two years old." She looked in his ears and eyes, checked his paws and ran her hands over his body. "No parasites or external injuries." She looked up at me. "His skin and eyes look good. He hasn't been away from his home to long."

She pulled her stethoscope from around her neck and put the earpieces in. We remained quiet as she listened to his heart and lungs. "Okay." She smiled as she removed the stethoscope and put it back around her neck. "He's looks to be in great condition." She pet him. "I'll run a few labs, but I think he'll be just fine." She reached behind her and picked up a scanner and went along his body. "He doesn't seem to have a chip and of course no tags."

"So, we can keep him now?" Renata asked as she bounced in her chair.

Ivey chuckled. "Not just yet, Sweetie. We have to wait five days before anyone can take him just in case an owner comes forward."

Renata looked up at me and pouted.

"We have to follow the guidelines, Honey."

She looked back at Ivey. "Where will he stay?"

"He'll stay here with me for the time being." Ivey said.

Renata crossed her arms and frowned. "Fine."

Ivey walked toward us and bent down so she was eye level with Renata. "Thank you for finding him. You're like his hero!"

Renata's eyes widened, and she gasped. "Really?"

"Really." She nodded. "And guess what, five days will go by so fast, and if no one claims him and it's okay with your Dad, I'll let you visit him whenever you want." She said.

"Maybe Daddy will let me keep him." Renata whispered before she looked at me with a sweet smile.

My conscious shook his head at me. You're gonna give in.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Um."

Real articulate their buddy.

Ivey shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe he will. But why don't you go tell him bye for now." Ivey whispered back with raised eyebrows before she stood.

Renata walked to the exam table.

Ivey looked at me. "Thanks for bringing him in. I'll put up posters around the area and I'll put something on social media as well. If you want, I can keep you updated."

I glanced at Renata and sighed. "Yes, please do." I mumbled.

She batted my arm. "Don't look so down, this could be a great thing." She smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "I guess it could it be." I looked at the clock on the wall. "It's time to go Jellybean. We have to get to Nana's."

She slowly walked to me.

Ivey opened the door. "It was great seeing you again, I'll be talking to you soon." She said as Renata and I walked out of the room and into the hall.

"Thanks again, Ivey. Have a goodnight."

"You too."

We walked back the way we came. "Goodnight." The same blond man said when he saw us.

I nodded my head in acknowledgement before we walked out, got in the car and made our way to my parents' house.

I pulled into the driveway and saw Emmett's car was already there. I grabbed the bags of apples out of the trunk, pulled the house key out, and Renata and I walked in. We followed the conversation that led us to the kitchen where Emmett and my parents were.

"Little Bro, why are you always the last one to show up?" Emmett asked as I sat the bags of apples in the food pantry.

"Coco!" Renata yelled as she ran towards Dad. He scooped her up with a wide grin and peppered her face with kisses.

I chuckled as I walked towards my mom to hug her. "Ma, the apples are in the pantry." She nodded before I turned to Emmett. "Because I'm not always hungry like you."

Dad walked towards me, shaking his head. "Good to see you, Son." He said as he squeezed my shoulder.

"Leave him alone Em, dinner isn't even ready yet." Mom said as she popped his hand for digging in the pot on the stove.

"Ouch, that hurt, Ma."

"It was supposed to. Now stay outta the food."

My lips twitched, and I hid my smile behind my hand.

Emmett rubbed his hand. "Ma, how could you?" Emmett asked as he rubbed his hand. "Did you forget I'm your favorite?"

Dad snorted a laugh before taking a sip of water with his free hand. "Who told you that?"

Mom flicked her fingers at Dad. "Gimmie my ReRe." She embraced Renata in a hug and kissed her cheek. "How's my favorite girl doing?"

Emmett shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm the firstborn, the firstborn is always the favorite, you got it right the first time."

"I'm good, Nana." Renata said with a toothy grin. "We're getting a dog."

Dad rubbed his chin. "I see what you're trying to say, but technically one could argue that we got things right with Edward since he was the last child we had."

"A dog?" Mom turned towards me with raised brows.

"Wow, Dad. You really know how to make me feel special." Emmett pouted.

"You think you're ready to take that on? Dogs are a lot of responsibility." Mom said.

"I was just pointing out the facts; Edward is the last child we had, but no one is the favorite, well besides Renata." He shrugged his shoulders. "But your mother and I have loved you both tremendously." He scratched his jaw. "Both of you have also gotten on our nerves, so…" Dad trailed off.

"Me and Den will take care of him." Renata beamed.

"Don't put words in Ma's mouth, old man, I have never gotten on her nerves." Emmett turned towards her. "Isn't that right, Ma?"

I mean, I can see why she'd feel that way at times.

She looked at Renata. "Who is Den?" Mom asked.

Wait, are they saying I've gotten on their nerves too? That's not possible… Right?

"Aiden." Emmett smirked. "That's Bella's son."

Mom set Renata down in a chair. "Edward, who is Bella?"

I narrowed my eyes at Emmett. "Aiden is in Jellybean's classroom and we just recently found out we all have mutual friends."

"Mom, she's close friends with my Rosie." Emmett grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator. "Do you remember me telling you about that awesome dinner with that huge spread of food?

Mom nodded her head and waved her hand and prompted him to continue. "Well, that was Alice's house, she's dating Jasper, and she's Bella's older sister." He said.

"So, what does that have to do with a dog?" Dad asked.

"Nothing. Shut up, Em."

"Nope." He popped the p. "Bella and Eddie were really cozy at the dinner together."

I plopped down in a barstool at the island and prepared for the impending plethora of questions that were about to be thrown at me because Emmett opened his big ass mouth.

"Me and Aiden were at the park and we found Egg Roll all by himself."

"Who is Egg Roll?" Mom asked.

Renata smacked her forehead. "The dog, Nana."

Dad laughed. "That's the dog's name?"

"That's what me and Aiden named him."

"Does the dog have owners?" Mom asked.

"No. But Daddy said we can talk about it in a couple days." Renata said.

"You're totally getting a dog Squirt." Emmett said. "He always says 'we'll talk about it' before he gives in."

"I do not." I replied.

"Do you want me to run down the list for you?" Emmett cackled.

Damn, I think he's right.

I refused to admit he was right, so I ignored him and pulled my phone to text Bella to let her know what Ivey said about Egg Roll.

Dog is in fact a boy; he has no chip, but everything looks good health wise. Ivey says she'll keep him a few days and put out flyers and post something on social media to see if any owner will come forward. We'll see where things go from there.

"Dinner is ready." Mom said.

My phone vibrated in my hand. Thanks for the update. Do you think an owner will show up?

We all walked to the kitchen table to find a spread of spinach stuffed chicken breast, mashed potatoes, tossed salad and lemonade. The aroma of the food reminded me how much I miss home cooked food.

I sat down on and tried to be discreet as possible because I knew how Mom felt about phones at the table during family dinner.

I don't know, Ivey said it could go either way, hopefully they do. I don't think I'm ready for the responsibility of a dog.

You say that, yet you will get a dog at the earliest this Saturday. Just tell her you're gonna be a new owner to a four-legged fur ball.

They passed the platters of food around the table to serve themselves, but my plate was still empty.

Buzz. My phone alerted me to another text message.

Me either, but did you see the look on their faces, how could I say no?

"Edward, Honey, is that your phone?"

"Um, yeah." I looked down, clicking the keys to respond as quickly as possible.

You're going to have to dig deep, we have to be a united front. I don't want to be the bad guy here. LOL.

You won't be, you're the one getting a dog.

We don't know that just yet.

I smiled as I typed out my message and clicked send.

"What are you smiling about, Eddie?" Emmett asked as he scooped mashed potatoes into his mouth. "Mom, he's texting during dinner." He pointed.

Buzz. My phone vibrated again.

Ha ha. Very funny. I'll see you later Goodnight Edward.

I chuckled while I looked down at my phone.

"Who are you texting that has you smiling like that?" Mom asked.

Emmett quirked an eyebrow and smiled. "I bet it's Bella."

I knew I looked crazy. I pressed my lips together tightly to keep from smiling because all eyes were on me.

Goodnight, Bella.

I stuck my phone in my pocket and added food to my plate.

Dad cleared his throat after he took a sip of water. "Was that Bella, Son?"

"Yes." I chewed a piece of chicken to prolong my answer. "I gave her an update on the dog, like I promised."

Mom turned to me and smiled. "Are you and Bella talking, talking?"

"No, Mom, it's not like that, we're just friends."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, I gotta tell you this Mom and Dad." Emmet said as he waved his arms being demonstrative. "Do you remember the little boy that said Renata had cooties?" My parents nodded their heads. "Aiden was that little boy, and it seems at the dinner we all went to him and Squirt made up and Edward and Bella were friendly with each other too."

"Den is my friend now." Renata said.

"Who is Den, Sweetheart?" Dad asked.

I wiped my mouth with the napkin. "They have nicknames for each other, Aiden is 'Den' and Renata is 'Ren'."

"I was at the park with Den today and that's how we found Egg Roll."

Dad smirked at me. "Oh, at the park, huh?"

"Pfft, Dad, the kids asked to go to the park, so we took them… that's all it was."

Why do I feel like I'm being interrogated?

"Nah-uh, Dad, I saw the looks they kept exchanging at Alice's house." Emmett said.

"Son, you're single, there's nothing wrong with it. Actually, I think it's a good thing for you to get back out there."

I pushed the food around on my plate before I met Dad's gaze. "I'm not ready for anything like that yet." I glanced at Renata so he would understand I didn't want to talk about it in front of her. "We have some things in common, some of the same changes, and we just talk as friends."

Mom and Dad exchanged a look. "Okay, Son." Dad said before eating a piece of chicken.

I was glad my parents caught the hint to drop the dating conversation. That's the furthest thought from my mind.

You need to remember that when you're checking her out.

It's not checking out per se, it's… stating the obvious.

Mom made one of Dad's favorite desserts, Red Velvet cake. Slices were cut while we continued to talk and laugh around the table about trivial things. Emmett told us he and Rosalie were dating exclusively, and he wanted to bring her over so she could meet Mom and Dad.

Almost on cue Renata and I yawned at the same time and I knew it was time for us to go home. I'd had a long day full of meetings and I didn't want Jellybean out late on a school night. Of course, Mom didn't let us leave without taking some leftovers from dinner, as she made plans for a girl's day with Renata. And we wouldn't be Cullens if we didn't huddle around the door talking for the next ten minutes. We hugged and kissed, then finally walked out of the door. Mom and Dad stood on the porch and waved until we pulled off.

Esme

When everyone left, Carlisle and I went back inside and cleaned off the table. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as we picked up the plates, cups, and silverware and put them in the kitchen.

"What are you smiling about, MiMi?"

"Oh, nothing." I grinned.

He stared at me with raised eyebrows as he leaned against the counter and crossed his arms.

I felt my smile widen and squealed a bit. "Did you see the look on his face? I haven't seen a smile like that from him in so long." I placed both of my hands on my chest. "My baby has a little crush and doesn't even know it." I placed my hands on the island and slightly bounced on my toes. "Can you believe that, Honey? Aren't you just excited?" I asked as I grabbed the dish towel and threw it over my shoulder.

He looked up at the ceiling and sighed.

He was about to be all reasonable.

That's gonna be a real mood killer.

I blew a raspberry at him in my mind.

"Sweetheart, you can't get your hopes up." I felt my shoulders slump as he walked toward me and put his hands on my waist. "I don't think he even sees it that way. The boy probably doesn't even know he likes her."

I perked up and put my arms around his neck. "So, you agree with me, you think he has a crush?"

He chuckled. "No, I said like."

"Well, what's the difference crush, like, it's all the same thing."

"He could like her personality. Maybe he really wants to be just friends."

"Oh, please don't tell me you believed that." I cleared my throat. "We just talk as friends." I said, imitating Edward's voice.

He shook his head and laughed. "Just don't force his hand."

My eyes bulged, and I gasped. "Me. Force. I would never. I can't believe you would insinuate such a thing." I picked imaginary lint off of his shirt. "I'm more likely to… persuade someone than force them."

He rolled his eyes. "Persuade. Force. It's all the same thing."

I narrowed my eyes, and he smirked.

He kissed my forehead. "I know you mean well, but what Edward went through with Gianna was…" He paused and took a breath through his nose. "A lot. We can't expect him to get into something before he's completely ready."

My eyes flickered around the kitchen, and I rocked us from side to side. "What if I just gave a little hint?"

He scrunched his face up and shook his head.

I puffed my cheeks and slowly let out a breath. "Fine." I pouted. "I just want him to be happy." I mumbled.

"I know you do. But he has to process all of this; his feelings toward Gianna, and any potential feeling he may have for Bella. Besides, he's not a little boy anymore, no matter how much you want to intervene, you can't."

"I don't always intervene."

He tilted his head to the side.

"But it's so hard." I groaned and looked down. "I kept quiet when he married Gianna and look what happened."

"I'm not sure I would call that quiet." He said.

Well… I was kinda quiet, I didn't voice everything I was thinking.

"And I know what happened, I was there. But that's what he wanted, and he was happy with his decision."

I looked up at him. "Right, because you were so happy when they got married. You were just as concerned as I was. You knew they weren't ready to get married."

"Of course, I was concerned. You know I felt they moved too fast."

More like rushed, I swear they got married before I could even blink.

"You know how Edward is. Once he makes up his mind, especially if he had already mapped everything out. There was no stopping him." He said as rubbed my sides.

That is true. Edward has always been the more logical one, the overthinker. Which was something I have always been worried about since he was a kid. He would create these lists and constrict himself to them. Those things determined what he would or wouldn't do. And in his mind, he had to follow each step exactly to a T. As a child if it didn't work out the exact way he planned, best-case scenario he would pout, worst case he would have a tantrum. As he grew into an adult, I've seen where he internalizes it and beats himself up because in his mind it's a failure.

But it wasn't a consistent thing, he would get very specific about how he wanted things at the oddest times. I thought that was something he would have grown out of, and I guess that was my mistake, our mistake as his parents: not getting to the root of it when he was younger.

He sighed. "He's at a point where he's figuring his life out right now, he has to rediscover who he was before he got married. Things may get a little rocky, but Edward will be just fine."

His and Renata's life had been rocky enough. I don't want him to jump into any relationship or commitment again, even with a dog. But I know he's always wanted to be married, have a marriage like Carlisle and me.

I know I may seem to be all over the place even contradicting myself, and I know it's possible that some would call me selfish, pushy, or even crazy, but I just want him to be himself again; to be who he was before Gianna.

Don't get me wrong, I've always thought Gianna was a nice girl even when I didn't like her so much after 'the incident' but I always thought that he would marry someone else. It sounded terrible, believe me I know, but how was I supposed to tell Edward that he was making a mistake.

From the outside looking in, in my eyes at least, there was always something missing between them. Something I could never quite put my finger on.

On paper, she sounded like everything a mother would want for her son, but… it was a nagging little voice in the back of my mind that wouldn't quiet. And the more I tried to ignore it, the louder it got. Maybe I can call it a woman's intuition, but at the time Edward called it overprotective. I felt like there was nothing more I could do. It was a fine line between controlling his life and trying to give words of wisdom. So, I did what any mother would do. I sucked up my feelings and supported them.

I watched them date and then went home and shared my concerns with Carlisle.

I watched them get engaged and shared my concerns with Carlisle. It surprised me to learn he had concerns of his own.

I watched them get married. I still had concerns but kept quiet.

I watched them struggle to communicate and gave as much advice and encouragement as I could to the both of them.

I watched Edwards heart get broken and felt angry with Gianna. Angry with myself for not saying more.

Then I watched them divorce and saw my child lose his self.

I know he's not a baby anymore, but he will always be my baby.

And maybe I am getting ahead of myself, thinking about what he and Bella could be. But whether you call it woman's intuition, a mom thing, or maybe called me plain crazy… I couldn't ignore this feeling. I wouldn't.

Something felt right.

With that thought, I felt a sense of calm wash over me.

I nodded my head. "You're right."

Carlisle blinked and took a step back. "What did you just say?"

My arms dropped, and I rolled my eyes. "I said you were right."

He acted as if he was cleaning his ear out. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. Could you repeat that?"

I sighed. "You're right, Carlisle." I said louder.

He looked around the room and he patted his hand down his clothes. "Hold on, I have to grab my phone and call someone, I need a witness for this moment."

"Carlisle." I laughed. "Cut it out."

"What?" He shrugged his shoulders. "In all my years as a doctor and with all the degrees I've obtained, I assumed you were allergic to those two words; like your tongue would swell or something." He laughed when I frowned. "You have never uttered those words to me."

"That's not true. I'll tell you you're right about medical stuff all the time."

"Medical stuff, huh?" He chuckled and walked back towards me. "Everything will work out the way it's supposed to." He kissed both of my cheeks.

"I believe you." I kissed his lips once, twice and then a third time and smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mimi."

As I rinsed the dishes to put them in the dishwasher, Carlisle disappeared and a few moments later I heard music start: Marvin Gaye's and Tammi Terrell's 'You're All I Need to Get By'.

I turned to see him walk back into the kitchen.

He held his hand out. "Will you dance with me?" He asked with a gentle smile.

"I'd love too." I placed my hand in his and he pulled me close. With one hand holding mine and the other on my back, we swayed as he softly sung in my ear.

I was overwhelmed with love, peace and gratitude as he held me.

The love I had for Carlisle since he first smiled at me, had grown every day.

A peace only he can give me with a simple touch.

And gratitude to whoever placed him in my life.

This is what I wanted for Edward and Emmett.

A love that never ends.

Edward

Thank God it's Friday.

The week went by so slowly, and my workload seemed so much busier compared to the last couple of weeks that I had been looking forward to Friday since Tuesday and it was finally here, for that I was grateful.

During these last few days, it had become routine for Bella and I to talk for a few moments when we dropped the kids off as well as when we picked them up. It was never anything too serious, mostly about our workday or something one of the kids did. No matter how mundane or silly the conversation may have been, I enjoyed each interaction. Even when we discussed Egg Roll.

Ivey had kept in touch with me. On the brighter side of things, he was in perfect health condition, all of his labs came back normal. But so far, no one had yet to claim him. There was still today and tomorrow for that to change.

Bella and I decided to not say anything to the kids about the dog until we had more concrete information. Although both of them asked about Egg Roll, we tried to be as vague as possible so they wouldn't be hurt if the situation didn't pan out the way they hoped. However, I found it funny when Renata and Aiden tried to bargain with us. They promised to always play with him and take him for walks. When I looked past the fact that I would have the 'not so fun' responsibilities of taking care of a dog, if we got one. I found their compromises to be kinda cute.

What also kept the kids excited was the upcoming field trip. All the kindergarten classes would be going to the Chicago Fire Department. Aiden was really looking forward to seeing the inside of a fire truck, and some of his enthusiasm was rubbing off on Renata. It warmed my heart to see her come out of her shell a bit. They were also happy about the fact that both Bella and I had volunteered to chaperon.

When I was finished with work for the day, I practically ran out the building. I'm not even sure Emmett heard me say. "See you later."

I was glad to be off of work and headed to pick Renata up. I had promised her we would get pancakes when she got out of school and with the hectic schedule, I've had this week this is a good way for the weekend to start. Once I started the truck and connected my phone to the Bluetooth, I blasted one of my favorite songs. While it played, I moved my body to the beat of the music and put my seatbelt on before I pulled off.

While I drove, I sang along, and I tapped my thumbs on the steering wheel.

Because I'm Bad, I'm Bad-
Come On
(Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)
You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad-
You Know It
(Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)
You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad-
Come On, You Know
(Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)

And The Whole World Has To
Answer Right Now
Just To Tell You Once Again,
Who's Bad…...

When I pulled into the school parking lot, I turned the music down to a moderate volume. I parked next to Bella's and got out of the car; she was already standing in the parent pick-up area.

My eyes had a mind of their own. As Bella stood there engulfed in her phone, I noticed the way her skirt accentuated her curves. I increased my pace so I could close the distance between us.

Don't do anything weird.

I bent down next to her ear and whispered. "Hey Bella."

So you went for creepy instead, cool.

She gasped. "Edward." She held her chest. "I didn't even hear you walk up, I guess it was your turn to scare me."

Ha! Take that. She didn't find it creepy.

I bit my lip to hide my smile. "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

"It's okay." She chuckled and ran her fingers through her hair. "Alice has fussed at me too many times to count about being so engaged in my phone when I'm outside."

I smirked. "I hope it's not work related; it is Friday, you know."

A relaxed smile crossed her face. "Oh god no." She turned the screen of her phone towards me. "I'm looking for somewhere to eat. I skipped lunch and I'm starving."

"Oh." I nodded my head.

She's hungry. You and Renata are getting something to eat… Do you see the picture I've painted for you?

"Well…" I bit my bottom lip. "Renata and I were going to The Original Pancake House on Bellevue; you're welcome to come." I put my hands in my pockets. "If you'd like."

"Actually." Bella stuck her phone in her purse. "That sounds like a great idea." She gave a slight moan. "I love their Apple Pancakes."

A slight flush came over my face and neck.

Dude. Really.

"Um." I looked away from her to gather myself quickly. "One of my favorites is the Southern Hash Brown Potatoes."

Bella was about to respond when the loud chatter of the children cut her off as they walked out of the building. Mrs. Murphy accompanied the children as they approached us.

She smiled. "Good afternoon, Mr. Cullen and Ms. Swan."

"Good afternoon." Bella smiled back.

"Hi Mommy!" Aiden said.

"Hey Daddy." Renata ran into my legs.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Murphy." I said as I hugged Renata with one arm.

Bella leaned down to Aiden's height and hugged him. "I missed you today."

"They did great today in class." Mrs. Murphy said as she grinned at the kids.

"That's good to hear." Bella said as I nodded in agreement.

"They are a joy to have in the class." She exhaled and clasped her hands together. "Thank you for volunteering to go with us on the field trip, we really appreciate it."

"Oh, it was no problem at all." Bella said.

"Yeah, they are both looking forward to it." I said.

"Great! We need all the help we can get." She smiled and looked between the both of us. "Well, you all have a nice weekend." She waved before she walked away.

"Daddy, are we still going to go eat at the pancake place?" Renata asked.

I grabbed her hand and smiled down at her. "Yes, and Bella and Aiden are going to join us too."

Aiden pumped his fist. "Cool!"

Renata jumped up and down. "I like the strawberry pancakes. What do you like, Den?"

"I like chocolate chip pancakes."

Her cheeks glowed. "We can share." They spoke over one another.

I chuckled as I watched them interact with each other with such excitement. I was glad to see her and Aiden getting along, not to mention the smile she's been keeping on her face since the dinner at Alice's place.

"Alright, little people, are we ready to go eat?" Bella asked.

Aiden and Renata cheered loudly. "Yay!"

We all walked towards our vehicles. Renata buckled herself into her seat, and I double-checked it before I closed the door.

We left the parking lot without any fanfare and headed down the busy street towards the restaurant.

"How was school today, Sweetheart?"

"It was good. We played musical chairs and then we did a scavenger hunt." I felt her feet tapped the back of my seat. "I had so much fun today, Daddy."

I looked in the rearview mirror at her. "I'm glad you had fun."

The ride from the school to the restaurant was a short one. When we arrived, Bella and Aiden were already inside, sitting in the lobby.

Bella stood. "They just cleared a table for us, I hope you don't mind a booth."

"A booth is fine." I said.

"Excuse me, ma'am, your table is ready." The hostess said to Bella.

"Thank you." Bella said as we followed behind.

Aiden and Renata slid inside of the rounded booth first while Bella and I sat on the outside on each side of them. The hostess handed Bella and I our menus, and the kids got the kiddy menus full of games and things to color with crayons. "Your waiter, Cole will be with you momentarily." She smiled. "I hope you enjoy your meal." She said before she walked away.

Bella looked around. "I thought it would've been more crowded than this, especially on a Friday."

"Well, we are eating kinda early." I looked at my watch. "It's more like a late lunch or very early dinner."

"That's true. But if we would've gone home first, there was no way I would come back out."

"Yeah, I hear you. I've had meeting after meeting all week, I'm exhausted."

"Me too." She sighed. "I might take a few days off."

I chuckled as I thought about what Emmett would say if I took more time off from work. "I'm just getting back into the swing of things, so a vacation is nowhere in sight for me."

"Being a business owner, you don't see to many off days, which I'm sure you know all about. But I can't complain, I'm happy that I'm able to keep my schedule around Aiden's."

"I agree, that's one of the best perks to being my own boss."

"Mommy, I think I want some bacon and eggs with my pancakes." Aiden said.

Renata scrunched her nose. "I like sausage better." She turned to me. "Can I get sausage and some of the potato stuff you get?"

"Yeah, I'll share some of mine with you."

"And some apple juice, please?" Renata asked.

I nodded as I set the menu at the end of the table.

"I want some orange juice, Mommy." Aiden said.

"That's fine, Honey." Bella said.

After everyone decided on what they would order, Renata and Aiden busied themselves with playing the games on their menus and coloring.

"Hi, my name is Cole, and I will be your waiter this afternoon." He gave Bella a wide smile.

Ha! She's not even paying attention.

"Can I start you off with your drinks first?" He looked at Bella.

"Yes, I'd like some coffee for right now." Bella said as she avoided his gaze.

I cleared my throat to get his attention. "Give me the same, please."

Bella touched Aiden's arm. "You can bring him water for now and he'll take orange juice with his food."

"Make that another water and then an apple juice when her food comes." I said.

Cole finished writing down the drink orders and left the table.

Renata and Aiden completely ignored us; they occupied themselves with coloring and their own conversation.

I leaned on the table with my hands folded in front of me and looked around the restaurant.

Say something.

"So, Bella, we've had some pretty heavy conversations lately, but if it's okay with you, maybe we can ask each other some simple questions?"

She sat up straighter. "I think I'd like that."

I drummed my finger against the table as I thought of a question. "What's your favorite color?"

"That's kinda hard because I have more than one favorite color." She paused, pursed her lips. "I would have to say gray and black, if I had to narrow it down to two colors. What's your favorite color?"

"I would have to say green."

She tilted her head to the side and held my gaze. "Green is a very nice color."

"Are you guys ready to place your order or do you need a few more minutes?" Cole asked as he set our drinks down.

I blinked. "Yes, we're ready."

We placed our orders, and the kids asked him for more of the kid's menus so they could continue to play the games and color. When we brought them, they went back to their own little world.

Bella exhaled and leaned back. "How old are you?"

"I turned thirty this year."

"Oh, dirty thirty." She wiggled her eyebrows up and down.

We both laughed.

Once we both quieted down, I asked. "How old are you and when is your birthday?"

"Twenty-eight, soon to be twenty-nine come February 15th."

"The day after Valentine's, that must be fun."

She rolled her eyes. "Getting gifts that doubled as a Valentine's day gift and a birthday gift got old really quick and I'm not really into Valentine's." She laughed. "When is yours?"

"June 20th."

"You had one not too long ago then, did to do anything special?"

Divorcing my wife. Does that count?

"Nah." I shook my head. "I didn't feel like doing anything special this year."

"I get it. Sometimes you don't want all fanfare, I'm fine with it just being Rosalie and my family."

"It sounds like you're close with your family." I said.

"Yeah." she sipped her coffee. "We're a pretty tight-knit bunch."

"We are too, I couldn't imagine not being close with them." I smiled. "What's your middle name?"

"Marie."

"So, Isabella Marie Swan."

"That's me." Bella tapped the table while I took a sip of coffee. "Don't hold out on me, what's your middle name?"

"Anthony."

She tilted her head slightly to the side. "I like that, Edward Anthony Cullen, it has a nice ring to it."

"Thank you." I said as a smile took over my face.

"Here's your food." Cole and another waiter placed our meals and more drink on the table. The other waiter cleared the empty cups and walked away. "Is there anything else I can get for you?" Cole asked.

Bella and I shook our heads. "I think we're good, thank you." I said.

"I'll come back and check in on you later. Enjoy your meal." He smiled before he walked away.

When we made sure Renata and Aiden were settled with their meals, Bella turned to me. "I got one for you." She put a piece of pancake in her mouth. "What's your biggest fear?"

I swallowed and rubbed my neck.

She grimaced and bit her lip. "You don't have to answer that, I'm sorry that totally goes against this being a light conversation. I don't even know what I was think—"

"No, it's okay." I took a sip of coffee to gather my thoughts. Surprising as it was, I wanted to answer this question. "Actually, it's funny you asked that. I feel like I'm finding myself again outside of being a husband." I looked over at Renata to make sure she wasn't listening; she wasn't. "Well, an ex-husband and a father, so I guess at this point my biggest fear is," I took a breath "not liking who I am once I get to that point."

"Wow." Bella breathed out and leaned in closer. "I don't mean to push, and you can tell me to butt out, but…" She licked her lips. "What do you mean when you say 'find yourself again,' like what does that mean for you?"

"Well…" I hesitated before I spoke. "If you remember at the party when we had to say what we liked, I said lists and organization." I moved the eggs around on my plate. "I said that because truthfully, I don't know what I like, so I've created this list to kinda figure that out."

"Really? That's a great idea." She smiled. "What's on your list?"

I perked up at her infectious smile. "Cooking classes is the first thing on my list, that is not a strong suite for me, and I don't want us eating out all the time." She put a piece of apple pancake in her mouth as she nodded. "I've looked into this place called Cozymeal, they're kid friendly, and I think Renata would have fun, so I figured why not start there?"

"That sounds fun." She leaned back and wiped her mouth with her napkin "I commend you for taking such a big step." She smiled. "You should be proud."

I shrugged my shoulders and gave a sheepish smile, but said nothing.

"What else is on your list?" She asked.

I bounced my knee under the table. "Hiking, backpacking, woodworking, and learning a new language."

"Edward." She met my gaze with a radiant glow across her face. "That's amazing, if you're ever looking for company, I would love to help you cross some of those things off your list."

I nodded with a wide grin. "I think I would like that."

Gianna

Life had a funny way of giving you exactly what you wanted, even if the timing is all wrong.

Or maybe that's what people meant when they say, 'God had a sense of humor.'

I never thought I'd be that woman.

The one who ruins her marriage.

The one who tears her family apart.

I didn't think I would fall in love with another man, love another man more than my husband, Edward.

But I did.

I wished I could say I felt remorse for falling in love with someone else… but I can't.

I regretted turning my daughter's world upside down.

I regretted the hurt I've caused Edward.

And I regretted hurting him, the person who truly held my heart.

When I meet Edward in college, I never thought I'd marry him. We were in the same calculus class. We became friends so fast, and I was so comfortable with him that I felt I'd known him my entire life. I think we fell into a relationship because we clicked so much as friends. The only logical step was for us to date and then get married, or so our friends said.

I can admit, at the time, I felt like it made sense. Edward was the first man I loved just as much, if not more than my father. It was impossible not to. He was… is a great guy. Funny, smart, trustworthy, kind… selfless. But at some point, that wasn't enough for me, I can't pinpoint it, but I started wanting more.

And I guess it was also around this time that we had become more like roommates than partners… than lovers.

For a moment, his long work hours bothered me, and we had several bad arguments about it. Looking back, I'm not sure if I was trying to put any effort into the relationship or if I was just going through the motions. His suggestion was marriage counseling and out of guilt I agreed. But for me the magic, spark, chemistry, the thing that had made me feel all fuzzy inside had fizzled between us and I wasn't sure if I even wanted to fight for us… for him.

I felt alone and unsure about what I really wanted in life, in a relationship, and I consistently worried if I would be a good mother. But he was out there in the world loving what he was doing and who he was doing it with, happy with his life, sure of himself and his decisions. But I wasn't.

One day, unexpectedly, that all changed for me.

Edward was out of town again and even though we had just had a pretty intense counseling session, I felt like nothing changed, for me at least.

I remember thinking is this all my life will be. Is this the best things would ever get?

I felt selfish, ungrateful that I had what so many women craved at some point in their life: a great husband, an amazing daughter, a beautiful home, all the money I could ever need or want but…

I felt bored.

Trapped.

Unfulfilled.

Stuck?

That's when I met the man I never knew I wanted, the man I never knew I dreamed about.

We met in a bakery, Touch of Butter, the best bakery in Chicago. I was about to eat my feelings in a Caramel Apple Danish when he walked up and said.

"Hello, I don't mean to interrupt you, but a beautiful woman like you shouldn't look so sad."

Initially, I was annoyed that someone was talking to me, keeping me from wallowing in peace. I huffed. "Actually, I would prefer to be left al—" I trailed off when I finally looked up.

This man was extremely good looking, tall, with captivating eyes, and a beautiful smile.

He had something that just pulled me in, something that I couldn't resist. Didn't want to resist.

He didn't know it, hell I didn't know it at the time, but that one smile was all it took, and I was a goner.

I deluded myself into thinking that we could just be friends, that I could suppress my feelings of attraction, that turned into lust, and eventually love. And before I could even allow myself to acknowledge that what I was doing was wrong, I had taken things too far. I had told this man things I stopped telling or had never even told Edward. My dreams, goals, fears. I even envisioned another life.

That's when I knew I couldn't fix things. I had lied to the both of them. And hurting them was inevitable.

There was no scenario where anyone would walk away unscathed.

I can acknowledge and accept that I was wrong, that I gave false hope, made Edward believe I was all in and willing to work it all out. I was a willing participant in therapy knowing my mind, heart, and body weren't there, was in another space… with another man.

That's what eats at me, and probably will for a long time; I never told Edward how I felt. And how could I?

How could I look him in the eye, the man who had literally done anything for me and tell him I wasn't in love with him? That I wasn't sure I was ever in love with him?

So, I kept it all in. I kept it to myself.

I tried to fool myself into believing, thinking I was justified in… cheating. As if Edward working gave me the right or the freedom to get or seek attention from somewhere else, from someone else. But I felt guilty. Ashamed. I had betrayed Edward and cheapened the love I had for the man that was everything I didn't know I wanted. Everything I didn't know I needed.

And Edward… God knows he did everything in his power to put us back together, to make me happy.

And I just… I didn't care, I wanted to, but I didn't.

That's something I'll always hate myself for. Edward tried; he really did. He took time off work, planned family outings and the date's we'd go on; something totally out of his norm. We traveled as a family and before everything went downhill, he and our therapist had mapped out a game plan to keep the communication between us open, something I stopped doing months ago.

But by that point Edward had turned into everything I thought I wanted from him, but… I had allowed someone else to take residency in my heart.

A/N: RECS: The Bigger They Are, by LadyExcablibir2010 We loved the progression of E & B's relationship.

The Very Thought of You, by nydollface Incomplete but so freaking good! Hopefully the author will finish it.

Spin & Sway, by pattyrose, Edward and Bella fought through several obstacles but the only way they could do it was together! Definitely a GREAT read!

Dirty South Drug Wars, by Hoodfabulous, this one will keep you on your toes, with families that are sworn enemies, fighting over territory and rival drug trafficking. This one is a page turner!

Soooooo… we heard from Gianna & Esme… thoughts, opinions, predictions… bring it. Should Edward and Emmett fire Carmen? What are your thoughts on E & B's convo?

As always, THANK YOU to everyone that reads, reviews, favorite and follow our story. We especially love the colorful reviews that keep us laughing, as well, as gives different perspectives.

See you next chapter!