Somewhere To Begin Chapter 16, a twilight fanfic

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Chapter 16: Layers

Bella

I loved my son; I really did, but in a few short hours I would be child free, and I was looking forward to it.

Aiden would spend the night with my dad, so when we got home from our late lunch with Edward and Renata, I packed Aiden's overnight bag.

I threw my hair up in a bun and got comfortable in some sweats with a t-shirt and of course my comfy thick socks. Aiden was bouncing off the walls, as he always did when he knew he would spend time with my dad. I calmed him down by playing Candy Land. By the time we started round two, the front desk called and announced my dad's arrival.

The doorbell rang and Aiden ran for the door. "Hold on, Aiden, you don't open the door when I'm not standing there with you."

His shoulders slumped. "Okay, sorry Mommy."

I kissed his forehead. "Honey, it's not safe for you to open a door without looking through the peephole to see who it is."

"But I know it's Pop-Pop." Aiden said.

I folded my arms across my chest. "How do you know?"

"Cause they called and said so."

"How do you know someone else didn't come to the door before Pop-Pop?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

I smiled. "Exactly." I rose on my tiptoes to look out the peephole. "Now, I know it's Pop-Pop at the door." I tapped Aiden's shoulder. "Now you can open the door."

Aiden swung the door open. "Pop-Pop!" He yelled as he ran into his legs.

Dad bent down to pick him up. "How's my little buddy doing?"

"I'm doing really good." He smiled.

I smiled at their exchange. "Hi, Dad," I said as he leaned down so I could kiss him on the cheek.

"Hi Sweetheart, how are you doing?"

"I'm good."

He nodded. "That's good." I moved to the side to let him walk in. "Listen, Baby Girl, I'm double parked. I couldn't find a parking space; the doorman is watching my car. Is his bag ready?"

Aiden jumped down out of Dad's arms and ran towards his bedroom. Dad chuckled, we looked at each other, and shook our heads. "Where does he get all that energy from?"

"He's like the energizer bunny, he never runs out." I laughed.

"They should bottle it up and sell it."

Aiden ran out of his room with his overnight bag slung across his back, with his coat and hat on. "I'm ready, Pop-Pop!"

I bent down, so I was on eye level with Aiden. "You be good, okay, Sweetheart? I love you."

He nodded his head. "I will, Mommy. Love you too." He said while I kissed him on the cheek.

Dad leaned down and picked Aiden up. "We gotta go, buddy." Dad pulled me in for a hug. "See you tomorrow afternoon, he has his story time thing, right?" He asked, walking towards the front door.

"Yeah, have him back by noon."

Dad opened the door and turned around. "Will do. Love you."

"Love you too." I said as I waved at them in the doorway.

I locked the door, hugged myself and squealed. "Yes! Me time." I skipped to the kitchen and made myself a nonalcoholic drink: a Fruit Loop; and popped some popcorn.

I threw in Ocean's 8, a movie I'd been meaning to watch, but never really had the time to in between work and constantly watching Shrek.

I grabbed the throw blanket, placed it over my lap and got comfortable on the couch with my snacks.

The next thing I knew it was dark and the TV screen was black.

From what I saw, it was a good movie.

I untangled myself from the blanket and grabbed my empty glass and half eaten popcorn bowl and set it on the kitchen island.

I'll wash it later.

As I walked down the hallway, I removed my clothes. By the time I made it to my bedroom, I was in my boy shorts and matching bra, with my clothes in hand. I threw them on a chair and jumped in the bed. Before my head hit the pillow good, I was out.

I woke up a little after nine o'clock and felt refreshed. I didn't sleep in often, but the extra sleep felt good. I almost didn't know what to do with myself. I wasn't quite hungry yet, so I opted to stay in bed a little while longer just because I could.

I snatched my phone from the nightstand and started playing Candy Crush. I got bored with that quick and opened Facebook. Since Edward accepted my friend request, I hadn't really been on to stalk his page.

He didn't post much, so I was surprised to find that he had a lot of pictures. There was one of him and Renata that caught my attention; they were looking directly into the camera. Renata's mouth was wide open as if she were gasping or shocked, while Edward just stared.

Anyone could plainly see that he was a handsome man, no one could deny that, but it was his eyes… they looked so gentle, yet intense. It was hard for me to turn away.

This can't be normal. You're looking at that picture like you're obsessed.

How can I be obsessed? This is my first time looking at this.

Ma'am, you've been looking at this one picture for some time now…

Shut up.

I turned off the screen, threw the phone on my bed and headed to the bathroom to take a hot shower. Since I wasn't in a rush, I showered for longer than normal; the whole bathroom was steamy, but I didn't get out until my stomach growled.

I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me before brushing my teeth and washing my face. Shortly after I donned my undergarments, I put on a pair of jeans and a sweater with a hood. I pulled on a pair of Ugg's. since I wore heels most of the week; I wanted to be comfortable today.

I made my way to the kitchen and made a veggie egg white omelet with a piece of toast and a glass of orange juice. I sat down on a barstool and while I ate. I opened my laptop that was already on the kitchen island. I checked my email, but eventually I found myself back on Facebook… on Edward's page.

Hmm, and what are you doing now?

Nothing. It has to be a pattern for this to be obsessive.

This is the second time you've been on here, in less than a two-hour time span, I think we can both see where this is going.

I'm not talking about this with you anymore.

Technically, you're not talking. This is all internal…

God, you're the worst.

Am I really, though?

Okay, so I was curious. No big deal.

I may have gone through his whole profile before, but now that I was on the laptop I could see the pictures better. One that I hadn't seen last time caught my eye; and no, it wasn't another one of Edward, not entirely. It was a picture that someone tagged him, and someone named Gianna.

Was this his ex-wife?

They looked to be at a zoo, maybe Lincoln Park. The woman had her arm around Edward's waist while Edward held a younger Renata. They all had big smiles on their face, they looked happy, like a perfect little family.

This had to be his ex-wife.

Is this how Alec and I looked to others, picture perfect, like we weren't imploding?

The woman was beautiful. She had rich red hair and the same big eyes as Renata.

I tilted my head as I stared at her, as if looking at her longer might help me understand her.

Maybe I could relate to her?

Maybe we could've even been friends.

I didn't know the woman, and I had no reason to be, but she intrigued me. I clicked on Gianna's name and looked through her page. I found the basic information. Her birthday was August 18, she went to school in Chicago; she was a graphic designer, and originally from Boston. Based on the few pictures I'd seen, she looked to be someone who enjoyed traveling, however when I scrolled through picture after picture, it felt pretty empty, like you wouldn't have ever known she had a kid and at one point a husband which for obvious reason she may have deleted those, but still…

I know she's not obligated to share her whole life on social media. I guess I just found it odd, that from the outside looking in, she would appear single.

Sadly, I can admit the ringing phone pulled me from… feeding my curiosity.

Who knew you could spend so much time on one app?

I ran to the house phone. "Good morning, Ms. Swan."

"Good morning, Jonathan." I breathed out.

"Mr. Swan and Aiden are on their way up."

"Okay, thanks for the heads up."

"Sure thing. Have a good day."

"You do the same." Just as I put the receiver on the base, there was a knock.

I walked to the door and opened it. "Good morning!" I smiled.

"Good morning, Mommy!" Aiden said as he leaped out of Dad's arms towards me.

I just barely caught him. "Whoa Bud, you're getting too big for me to catch you in the air now."

He squirmed in my arms. "Cause Imma a big boy now, Mommy?"

I nuzzled my nose in his hair. "Yes, you're a big boy, but you'll always be my baby." Aiden jumped down and ran through the door toward his room.

"Hi, Dad." I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

Dad smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes like it usually did. "Hey, Baby Girl."

Maybe he was tired?

"How did it go last night?" I asked as I locked the door before we walked toward the living room. When he didn't answer immediately, I turned to look at him.

He jerked his chin towards the couch "Can we talk?" He took his coat off and laid it across the arm of the closest chair.

It's funny how he could make me feel like a little girl again, with such simple words.

I rubbed my hands down my pant legs. "Yeah, sure." I said as I sat down.

Charlie

Friday Afternoon…

All day at work, I thought about picking Aiden up and spending time with him. My schedule had been so hectic lately with the benefit dinner and the hours I'd been working lately. I hadn't spent time with Aiden lately, and I wouldn't allow another weekend to pass without seeing him.

Bella and I texted earlier today; I would get Aiden as soon as I left work.

Time passed quickly as I was engulfed in a research report. When it was time to go, I shut everything down in my office and left. Traffic was what I expected on a Friday afternoon in the Gold Coast district: heavy.

When I got to Bella's I drove around for about twenty minutes looking for a space before I took my chances and double parked in front of her building. I'd just have to be quick. I put my hazard lights on and jumped out of the car.

I saw the look on the doorman's face as I slammed the car door. "Sir, you can't leave your car there." He pointed.

I held my hands up in surrender. "My daughter lives in this building, I'm here to pick up my grandson and I'll be right back out. Please sir, I've been driving around looking for a parking space for almost twenty minutes." I said. "I'll be right back out, give me five minutes."

The doorman sighed. "Okay, fine, but only five minutes, sir," he said as he looked down at his watch.

I smiled and nodded my head. "Thanks."

I quickly entered the building and the security desk called to let Bella know I was downstairs. I got on the elevator and willed it to go faster. When I reached her floor, I power walked to the door. Thankfully, Aiden was ready to go. I briefly greeted Bella, picked Aiden up with his overnight bag on one arm and shortly after we were on the elevator headed back down to the lobby.

I waved my hand at the doorman to show my appreciation and secured Aiden in his booster seat. My plan was for us to have our own version of game night. When Renée found out about my plans, she said she would make 'game night appropriate food.'

Since we lived further away from the city, the traffic going back to the house was light. I listened as Aiden told me about his day at school and his friend, Ren and her father Edward.

I knew about the situation he had at school, but I didn't know they had made up or that they had been spending time together.

Renée couldn't have known about this.

I pulled into the garage, got out of the car, and unbuckled Aiden before I grabbed his bag.

Before we could even get into the house good Renée swept Aiden off his feet in a hug. "How is my baby boy?" She asked as she peppered his face with kisses.

He giggled. "I'm good, Nana."

After she finished her assault of kisses, she took him into the kitchen. "How was school today?" She asked.

I overheard Aiden repeat the same story he told me in the car. As soon as she hears the name Edward, she's going to formulate a plan to question Bella. I chuckled as I headed to the basement.

Once I was downstairs, I looked around and nodded my head in satisfaction; this was my childhood dream. Just recently the basement had become my man cave. Renée used to work down here but decided that she would take an extra bedroom upstairs and turn it into her workspace; something about better lighting. That left this space open, and I immediately claimed it as mine.

I turned it into my personal arcade. Renee thought I went overboard. She may have been right, but since I rarely indulge or frivolously spend money, I went all out. She handled decorating, and I picked the games. I had a few of the classics like Galaga, Donkey Kong, Pac-Man, and a few others. I had to get the air hockey and foosball table. The skee ball machine was new. It took a while to get here, but I got it once I saw how much Aiden enjoyed it when we were at Dave and Busters. When it all came together, I wasn't sure who'd be more excited, me or Aiden.

I was giving him and Renée a few moments together before dinner. I knew once he'd come down here, he wouldn't want to leave.

I knew how much Aiden loved Shrek, so I bought the collection to keep at our house. I slipped it in the Blu-ray player and turned the volume up just loud enough to get his attention.

What? I couldn't wait any longer.

I heard his feet as he ran toward the stairway, but he slowed down as he stomped down the stairs. He knew better than to run down them.

"Pop-Pop you turned on Shrek without me?"

I chuckled. "I didn't start it yet."

He pointed and gasped as he ran over to the skee ball lane. "You got my favorite game!"

I shook my head up and down. "I got it just for you, buddy." I turned the machine on, the top of it lit up and the balls came rolling down the side.

Aiden bounced on his toes. "Can I play now Pop-Pop?"

A huge grin spread across my face. "Yep."

I stopped counting how many games he played. He stood there throwing ball after ball into the different holes.

"Aiden, you know we can play foosball and air hockey too, right?"

"Okay, let me throw one more ball and we can play foosball next."

I flopped on the couch and put my feet up on the coffee table. "Come on and take a break with me for a minute before we start another game."

Aiden finished his game and threw himself next to me. "I missed you, Pop-Pop."

This was one of the longest times, we hadn't seen each other, it had been about two weeks.

"I've missed you too." I said as I pulled him into me. "I got a little busy with work, but you know I love our time together."

He nodded his head and turned to the TV.

We watched the movie in silence until it got to the onion scene.

"No layers, onions have layers. Onions have layers, ogres have layers. Onions have layers, you get it? We both have layers," Shrek said.

"Oh, you both have layers." Donkey sniffed the onion. "You know, not everyone likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes, cakes have layers."

"I don't care what everyone likes, ogres are not like cakes."

"Pop-Pop."

I turned to look at him and found that he was frowning a bit.

"What's wrong buddy?"

"Do you think my Dad is like an onion?" He looked up at me, unblinking.

Huh? "Why would you think your dad is like an onion?"

"Donkey said not everyone likes onions."

I glanced at the TV before I turned back. "He did." I said slowly.

"Shrek said he was like an onion and that he didn't care what everyone likes."

"He did say that, but I don't think he really meant it."

He turned his head back to the screen, but I continued to look at him.

"Pop-Pop." He said, eyes still on the TV.

"Yes." My eyes stayed on him.

"Do you think my Dad doesn't like me?" I instantly felt a knot in my stomach.

I was not expecting that question.

I tried to keep from frowning. "What made you think that?"

He was quiet for a moment, I watched him, waiting.

I scooted closer to him. "It's okay, Aiden, you can tell me."

He picked at his jeans with his fingers. "Before, when we lived in the old house, me and Dad would kinda do stuff together." He frowned. "Not all the time, but sometimes, and it used to be fun. But then me and Mommy moved and… I didn't see him as much and that used to hurt my feelings, but now…"

I rubbed his back. "Now, what?" I asked softly.

He blew out a breath. "Dad has been coming to the house more, but it feels… weird?" He said. It sounded more like a question than a statement.

"Why do you think it feels weird?"

"Cause it doesn't feel the same, like when I'm with you or Mommy."

"What doesn't feel the same?"

"When you or Mommy do things with me, it feels like you want to do them with me."

"You think your Dad doesn't want to spend time with you."

He bit his bottom lip and shrugged his shoulders. "Sometimes."

"And that's what makes you think he doesn't like you?"

He nodded his head. "A little bit, or…" he trailed off.

"Or what?"

"Or I did something he didn't like?"

"Absolutely not." I said immediately, but I still saw the doubtful look on his face. I took a deep breath. "Why would you think you've done something?"

"Well, it's kinda like what happened with Mike."

"You mean the boy from your school?"

"Yeah." He nodded his head. "Me and Ren are friends, and he didn't like that, so now me and Mike aren't friends."

"What do you think your Dad would like you to do?"

"I don't know yet." He whispered.

"So, you think your Dad wants you to do something but because you don't know what that is, you think he doesn't like you and didn't want to spend time with you."

He looked down but said nothing.

Truthfully, I was at a loss for words. I couldn't imagine my life without my father, but then again, he never made me feel this way, never made me question his love for me, never made me feel like I couldn't trust him.

I knew Alec didn't have the best relationship with his father and a… different relationship with his mother but I think I spoke for us all when I say no one would have ever guessed the person he turned into, or the father he's been.

I wrapped my arms around Aiden and hugged him to me. "You are the most amazing little boy I know, and there is so much more to your Dad as a person that would be too difficult to explain to you right now but…" I said before I pulled him back and looked him in the eye. "Your Dad has some things he has to work through, and that has nothing to do with you, but you have done nothing to make your father dislike you, okay?"

"You think so?" His eyes looked so big and hopeful.

I swallowed, trying to remove the lump from my throat "I know so. You could never do something to make your Dad not like you, and you want to know something else?"

"Yeah." He leaned into me; his gaze locked on me.

"You are the most like-able person I know, and I love every second we get to spend together."

"Me too." He placed his head on my chest.

"I'll always be here for you Aiden." I kissed his hair. "I love you, Buddy."

He let out a breath. "Pop-Pop, you're like parfaits."

I smiled a bit, understanding another Shrek reference. "Parfaits are delicious." I said, quoting Donkey.

Aiden giggled.

I know I couldn't answer all of his questions or sooth all of his concerns, but I was willing to comfort and reassure him in any way that I could. But mostly, I hoped that my words, actions… love was enough.

I repositioned myself on the couch, so we were facing the TV. Aiden laid on top of me while we watched the rest of the movie until Renée called us up for dinner.

Bella

All the energy I felt I had from the extra sleep left my body all at once.

I didn't think Alec's sudden interest in being a father would fix everything, but I didn't think it would cause more problems than when he wasn't around.

I rubbed my hands roughly over my face. "What do you think I should do?"

"Bella." He said.

I sighed, my hands still over my face. "Yes?"

"Look at me, please."

I dropped my hands into my lap.

"I'm not telling you this to make things more difficult, I promise I'm not, but I think there may need to be some boundaries set in place."

"You're right." I nodded my head slowly. "But how should I set boundaries when just a short time ago he wasn't around at all? And how do I approach it without causing an argument?"

"Aiden is working through his own thoughts and feeling about Alec, and that may mean his perception of Alec has changed, because of his own doing, and he has to live with those consequences."

And so would Aiden. He didn't say that, but it felt like it was implied.

"Do you think I should tell Alec to stop coming over? Or do you think that will make the situation worse? Should I set a specific day for Alec to see Aiden? But then I could only hope he would stay consistent with that, do you think—"

"Isabella." He said it quietly but with force.

I looked at him.

"Take a breath."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Relax." He held his hands out. "I'm not saying you have to figure it all out right now, at this exact second, but what I'm saying is Alec should be made aware of how his actions affect Aiden."

"But I've done that, and he told me he was turning a new leaf and he's started coming around more since then."

Which was true. Alec had even been over a couple of nights for dinner this past week, and Aiden had been his regular self with him; hesitant. Not that I blame him, but has Alec messed up so badly that there was no undoing what had been done?

"That's fine that he wants to be present now, but until Aiden feels like he can trust him again, which is something he has to build up to, Alec has to do what's best for his son, even if it means things don't go his way."

"But what if that backfires, and puts us back at square one, and Alec disappears again?"

"Bella, I understand that this must be hard for you, but no matter how hard you try you can't make Alec be the parent you want him to be."

That hit me in the chest like a ton of bricks.

I frowned. "So am I wrong for wanting Aiden to have everything I had; a great father who would give him a sense of security, care for him, protect him?" I blinked to keep the tears from falling. "Love him?"

Dad stood up from the couch and kneeled in front of me. "No, Baby Girl, you're not wrong, but he can't give Aiden what he never had or won't allow himself to have."

"I don't want to make the wrong decision."

Nothing felt right, like no matter what someone would get the short end of the stick, I just didn't want it to be Aiden.

"That's the thing Bella, it wasn't your choices that caused the need for these decisions to be made, but you have to make them." He squeezed my hand. "All you can do is look at the facts; see what's right in front of you and trust that you did the best you could."

Is my best enough?

The facts?

My heart is telling me to be watchful, to not trust Alec, yet my head is saying don't push Alec out of Aiden's life, that just because our relationship went to shit doesn't mean Alec is incapable of having one with Aiden, or that Aiden could need or want his father at some point… right?

So, what would be best when both seem so risky?

My head or my heart?

I nodded my head but said nothing.

Dad sighed. "This may have been a lot to take in but do me a favor, don't stress yourself out, trying to fix everything in one day."

I shrugged my shoulders and rolled my eyes. He knew me well.

He pulled me up as he stood. "I know it's tough right now." He said as he hugged me. "But your Mom and I will always have your back." He kissed my cheek. "We'll get through this."

I smiled half-heartedly. "I know." I exhaled. "Thank you, Dad."

"Anytime Bells." He pulled back from me, picked up his coat and headed to the door, I followed behind me.

"One more thing." He said before he turned around with a bit of a smirk.

My boot covered feet slid from his abrupt movement. I balanced myself on the entryway table and raised my eyebrows.

"Who's Edward?" He asked with a pointed look.

STB

When we pulled into the library's parking lot, I couldn't help but to think about last week's visit.

I let out a snort and shook my head as I parked.

Good times.

I hopped out and straightened my jacket before I opened Aiden's door.

"Mommy, do you see Ren?" He asked as he jumped down and stood beside me.

I grabbed the bag of books we were returning and closed the door. "I don't see them yet, Honey." I grabbed his hand, and we made our way toward the entrance of the library.

When we were close enough, I could see Edward and Renata walking up the stairs.

"Look." I got Aiden's attention. "There they are."

"Hi Ren!" He waved and walked faster as he pulled me behind him.

"Hi, Den." She smiled.

Edward chuckled. "Good morning."

"Good morning." I smiled.

"Come on Mommy, we don't want to miss anything." Aiden tugged on my hand.

Edward opened the door. "We better get inside."

Aiden and I walked through the door with Renata and Edward behind.

I led them to the reading room. The little boy and girl that were here last time were already sitting at a table.

"Let's go Ren." Aiden grabbed Renata's hand and walked her to the same table the others were sitting at.

"Hi Bella." I heard from behind me.

I turned. "Hi Leah, how are you?" I asked.

"I'm doing well." Her eyes darted to Edward, and she grinned at me with raised eyebrows.

"This is Edward." I tilted my head in his direction. "His daughter, Renata, is sitting next to Aiden."

"That's great!" She turned to Edward and put her hand out. "Nice to meet you, I'm Leah and I usually facilitate story time. We're always excited to have more shorties join us."

They shook hands. "It's nice to meet you too, I'm sure Renata will enjoy herself."

"I hope she does." She looked down at her watch. "If you'll excuse me, it's time to get started." She walked around us and went to the front of the room. "Hi guys and gals. Are we ready to begin?"

"Yes." All the children said together.

I turned to Edward. "Let's go." I jerked my head behind me.

We walked out of the room and sat down across from each other at an empty table. We didn't say anything, as we both looked around the room. This was the first-time things actually felt a little awkward.

Do you think it has something to do with you being all over his Facebook page?

Not in the slightest, besides he wouldn't even know about it.

What about his ex-wife's?

Technically, I don't know if that was his ex-wife, I was just assuming.

Well, you are right about that, you are kinda making an ass of yourself.

Don't you ever stop talking, or do you…

"What do you normally do while you wait?" Edward whispered, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Well." I cleared my throat. "I'm typically by myself, so I either play a game on my phone or read." I shrugged.

He leaned on the table. "Are you currently reading any good books now?"

"No." I chuckled. "I haven't read anything other than work articles."

"Is that something you enjoy? Your work I mean."

"I love it, I couldn't imagine not being an editor."

"Is that what you always saw yourself doing as a kid?"

"When I had just started working, no. I thought designing was all I would do, and I still love to do that, but I also love my magazine. So, no. But I'm really happy with where I am, career wise that is."

That last part seemed to just slip out of my mouth.

Happy career wise.

Yikes.

I inhaled. "What about you?" I rushed out. "Did you always think you'd be an accountant slash investor, working with your brother."

"Owning a business with Emmett was a surprise, and I would never tell him because it would go to his head, but working with him actually makes my job more enjoyable." He chuckled. "Anyway, even as a kid, I had a love for numbers. Me and math just clicked. So even if I hadn't gone into business with my brother, I'm for certain I would still do something with numbers."

"Really? You never thought about doing anything else?"

"I thought I would be an actuary or an economist, but they still involve math, and to a certain extent I do both of those jobs, anyway."

"I've never heard anyone talk about numbers the way you do. Where do you think your love of numbers comes from?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "As I kid, I'm not completely sure. It was just easy to like because I was good at it; it came easy to me. Now that I'm older." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I realize I like the consistency of it. If there is an error, it's easy to just go back over your work and find the mistake. The right answer is always there, the numbers don't lie. They're factual."

Factual.

Facts.

See what's right in front of you.

Okay, I could do that.

Fact. Alec is a male.

Fact. Alec is Aiden's father.

Fact. We were married.

I'm sure this is not what your Dad meant.

I know.

Fact. Alec stopped acting like Aiden's father before we divorced.

Fact. He's not reliable.

Fact. I don't know if I can trust him with Aiden.

Fact. He is coming around more.

Fact. Aiden still feels like his father may not like him.

Fact. I don't know what the fuck to do!

Who knew facts could really kick you in the ass?

I felt a hand on mine. "Bella," Edward whispered.

I shook my head. "Huh."

His eyebrows drew together. "Are you okay? You spaced out for a minute there."

I don't know if it was because of a lack of filter, or stress from the conversation I had with my Dad, or if I just felt tired of feeling like I had to always have all the answers or having to make all the decisions by myself, but I blurted words without thinking about what I was saying. "Do you make tough decisions with your head or your heart?"

He leaned back and blinked. "Uh."

"I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that." I let out a shaky laugh.

"Where did your mind wander off to?"

"Oh, um." I didn't know if I wanted to tell him the truth or not.

You already asked the question, no going back now.

I sighed. "It's just when you said factual, my mind went back to a conversation I recently had."

He looked at me, but it didn't feel weird. His eyes looked like they did in the picture; gentle yet intense.

In that moment I felt like an understanding had somehow passed between us, like he got me, saw me. Maybe he saw a concerned mother or a tired woman. I'm not sure which part of me he saw, but for the moment, it felt nice to not feel the need to hide.

He nodded his head. "Can you repeat your question?"

"Seriously, you don't have to answer-

"I want to." He offered a small smile.

I cleared my throat. "When you have to make tough decision, do you follow your head or your heart?"

"I think it depends on what the situation is, but," he tilted his head to the side, "I feel like logic, or your head can make the best decision. Doing anything just based on emotions can get a little… messy, maybe? Like it can cloud common sense." He bit his bottom lip. "I remember a choice I made following my heart and, in the end, it didn't work out the way I thought it would." He sighed. "So, I guess in that situation I should have listened to my head."

I waited a moment to process what he had said. "So, in that situation, do you regret following your heart?"

"I can't say yes entirely. Even with the way it all crumbled, I still got something amazing out of it."

I got the feeling he was talking about his ex-wife, but I didn't want to push that, so instead I asked. "How do you know you followed your heart?"

"That's a tricky question." He paused. "I was happy at the time and ready to be all in, but I can't honestly say that I did what was in my heart without running the potential outcomes or scenarios through my mind. Not that it did me any good, anyway." He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe I am a head over heart person but, do you think it's possible to ever fully decide, no matter how big or small, just based on how it could make you feel?"

"When I think back over some of my decisions in the last few years, I can say that I followed my head. I did what made logical sense. But I guess now that I'm intentionally thinking about it, I'm not sure I was in the environment to follow my heart, while dealing with Ale—" I caught myself. "That situation, but I know there are times I did things that made me happy, to feel good, so maybe unconsciously I was following my heart and didn't think about it that way?" I blew out a breath. "I guess I am saying I think it is possible to make hard decisions using your heart."

"Do you think you've ever decided using both your head and your heart?"

"I know I have." Like when I married Alec. "But in that moment, I felt confident and sure with that choice, I wasn't thinking about the what if's but now that I've experienced the consequences of it; both the good and not so good is it possible that both my head and heart were wrong?"

"But you say that with the knowledge of knowing how it worked out, and that's not how life works, if we all knew how every aspect of our lives would pan out there are so many things, we would be too afraid to try, miss out on." He seemed to say more to himself than me. He repositioned himself in his seat. "You said you were confident with your choice just because that changed it doesn't mean it was the wrong one. It just means it didn't work out. So, what if it's trust? You need to trust that you did the right thing."

"But what if the risks are too high, or if there's too much at stake?"

He looked down at the table, not saying a word. Maybe I confused him, maybe this conversation was a touchy one for him too.

I shouldn't be dumping my problems on him.

"I think that's the time you're supposed to trust yourself the most." He chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment. "I remember my Dad telling me something not so long ago. He said life doesn't always happen in specific or planned steps, no matter how much you want them to, and that's okay, it doesn't make you a failure. I think I'm just understanding what he meant, and it may apply for you, it may not. But what I mean is when you've done all you could do, with any person, or in any situation you have to be okay or content with the outcome, and as long as you're happy with what you did, I think you can walk away from that situation or person with a clear head and heart."

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

Was I happy with how things ended with Alec? I think I'm as happy as I can be considering why we divorced. Of course, when I married him, I didn't think we would end, but I don't want him back; I don't want that life back.

I think now that I can somewhat step back and look at that time in my life; I feel the question I've been avoiding is: did I really know Alec?

Did I know him at all, or did I ignore signs that had been there all along?

A ringing phone pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Oh shit." Edward whispered as he scrambled to get the phone out of his pocket.

"Hello?" He said lowly.

"Oh, hey, Ivey." He said, I leaned in closer to hear the one-sided conversation.

"Yeah, I figured." He sighed.

"You can start the process now and just let me know when everything is ready."

"I'll pay for it."

I took a deep breath to collect myself.

"Okay, see you later."

"So, what's the verdict?" I asked as soon as he hung up. "Are we dog owners?"

"We? I thought you said you weren't ready to be a dog owner."

I rolled my eyes. "You said the same thing, mister 'we have to be a united front.'

He shrugged his shoulders.

"So, when do we get him?"

"We just have to do the adoption paperwork, Ivey said she would handle everything else, so whenever she calls me back."

"We have some shopping to do then."

"Yeah, I'm sure the kids are gonna be excited."

I nodded my head. "For sure." I smirked. "So, are we sharing custody?"

He smiled. "I guess so, but I'm not paying child support."

"Damn." I snapped my fingers. "You ruined my plans, I was gonna start a business with that money."

He pressed his lips together and his shoulders shook. I put my hand over my mouth to muffle my laugh.

When we calmed down, that's when the thought hit me.

"Oh." I said.

"What?" Edward smiled, his face a little red.

"I don't think I have to buy a PlayStation now."

A/N: Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, favorited and followed our story. We love reading your thoughts/comments every week! Thank you to everyone who has rec'd our story on FB. We're also excited about a lot of new readers joining this journey with us. Your encouraging words help us to continue to write.

What do you think about E & B's conversation? When you have to make tough decisions do you use head over heart or heart over head…? Or perhaps both? What are your thoughts about Aiden and Charlie's convo?

RECS: A Fresh Start by tufano79, Bella is a recent divorce, reeling from the abrupt ending of her marriage. In walks a certain green-eyed stranger. Can he convince her to trust love again? Or will she just ignore his advances? EXCELLENT READ!

The bitter, the sweet, by Rochelle Allison, Bella's 24. She's got a career she loves, close family & friends, and a little girl she loves more than anything. She doesn't need anything more, but sometimes she sure wants it, and when Edward shows up, he'll either upset the balance or make everything sweeter.