Somewhere To Begin Chapter 20, a twilight fanfic

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See you at the bottom…

Chapter 20: A Turning Point

Bella

"A stich in time: the hectic pace of fashion is being slowed down by a hands-on revolution."

I placed my elbows on the desk and rubbed my eyes.

I've read the same sentence for the tenth time.

It would be an understatement to say I'd been distracted today, but it wasn't like the good kind of distractions. No, it was the pesky kind, like a fly that wouldn't go away no matter how many times you swat at it.

I blew out a breath.

Okay, to be fair, I could be a touch dramatic. Only two things actually distracted me today, but only one of them made it difficult to work.

The first distraction, the one that didn't hinder much of anything, were the phone calls and text messages I'd received all day. Today was my birthday. I was officially 29. And all my family and friends reached out non-stop to wish me a happy birthday, and one person, Alice, told me to cherish my last year in my twenties because apparently the moment I turn thirty I'll have back problems. Something to look forward to, I guess.

Surprisingly, I even got a text from Alec. I responded with my thanks and he then hoped I enjoyed my day. It was nice, cordial.

But I digress.

Alice and Rose wanted the group to go out for dinner tonight, but I declined. My birthday fell on a weekday this year and I wanted to keep things pretty low key. And since I rarely do anything too extravagant for my birthday, neither of them were shocked, nor—more importantly—suspicious.

Which leads me to the second distraction.

There was a strong possibility that I already had plans.

Okay, okay. I did have plans.

But these plans were made months ago.

And I didn't want to tell Alice or Rose about it. They would read into too much and further complicate things and then tell Demetri and Angela. Besides, I'm an adult, I can keep some things to myself. They didn't have to know every little thing I did, and I didn't want to hear any of their opinions.

Which I think is totally fair. Their voices invaded my thoughts enough.

For the past couple of days, every time I tried to do something, anything, I heard:

"You sure as hell don't look at me the way you look at Edward."

"I mean, you are a little giggly when he's around."

"You are friendly with everyone, it's just a different friendly with him."

"Maybe you and Edward would be perfect for each other."

"Some valid points have been made."

Since that day I've over analyzed every little interaction I've had with Edward.

Did I giggle?

Were there little touches?

Was I giving him a look?

I groaned and dropped my head onto the desk.

Ugh.

I don't like my friends.

Not one bit.

Well, not at the moment.

This was all their fault. I never even looked at Edward's and my relationship… friendship in that way before.

Why does it have to be such an odd concept for a man and a woman to actually be friends?

That's the thing, they didn't say you two aren't friends. They said you two weren't just friends. There's a difference.

Thank you for the unwanted clarification, I don't know how I would have gotten through my day without it.

You're welcome.

Is it possible to roll your eyes at your own consciousness?

You have to admit you spend a lot of time with him.

Yeah, we're friends and we enjoy each other's company, but does that mean we're dating?

What other man do you spend that much time with?

Demi…

Demetri or your father don't count.

…

My point exactly.

You're being difficult.

Am not. Anyway, we both know that, at some point, you want to date, right?

Yes, I don't want to rush anything, but I do want to eventually get back out there.

That's fair. You shouldn't want to rush into anything.

Thank you, it's nice to be on the same side.

Yeah, it's great. So, knowing that you do indeed want to date, what would you look for in a guy?

Actually, I haven't really thought about that.

Now is as a good time as any.

Okay, hmm. Well obviously, he has to like kids.

That goes without saying

Faithful.

Well, yeah.

Emotionally intelligent.

Of course.

We have to be able to have good conversation.

That's a must.

Thoughtful.

Every girl's dream.

Funny.

Always a good thing.

Smart.

Brains are a requirement.

Someone who has a great, healthy relationship with his parents, specifically his mother.

Totally agree.

Someone who is open to new experiences, together, as a team.

Anything else?

Not at the moment, no. I can't think of anything else.

Mmm. Well, He sounds lovely.

He sounds pretty amazing.

Yeah, Edward is pretty great.

Whoa, I was not…

Before you deny it, let's look over what you've said. He has to like kids, I'd say that's not a problem, he has one. Faithful, we already assumed that it was his ex-wife that cheated and not him, so check. Emotionally intelligent, he hasn't had a problem sharing his feeling with you. Good conversation… I don't think I have to explain that. Thoughtful. Two words, Christmas gift. Funny. You two are always laughing and joking. Smart. He's an accountant slash investor, I don't think that's a problem. Good relationship with his parents? Check. Open to new experiences? Hello list.

So, tell me, how is Edward not your ideal guy?

…

Nothing to say again, huh?

He was a great guy, and anyone would be lucky to have him. I just wasn't ready for that with anyone yet.

Yeah, that's it…

"Happy Birthday!" Angela and Demetri said as they walked into my office.

"What's wrong?" Angela tilted her head.

Other than the bomb my mind just dropped on me?

"Uh, nothing, nothing at all." I tried to laugh. "My mind is just all over the place."

"Oh, okay." She said before she smiled. "We got your favorite." Angela held a chocolate cupcake with one candle on top, while Demetri held balloons.

Okay, maybe they weren't the worst.

"Thank you." I smiled and stood up to hug both of them.

"Make a wish." Angela smiled.

"Okay." I closed my eyes.

What do I wish for?

You could wish for…

Nope, don't say anything.

I didn't know what to wish for. There wasn't anything I wanted, or at least could think of at the moment.

I wish for Aiden to be happy and… to follow my heart more.

That should be good.

Wait, you can wish for more than one thing, right? Oh, well.

I opened my eyes and blew out the candle.

"What did you wish for?" Demetri handed me the balloons and plopped down into the chair in front of my desk.

"It's against birthday rules to tell anyone what you wish for." I said.

"How about I tell you what I wished for then?" He smirked.

"It's not your birthday." I chuckled.

"The wish wasn't for me." He playfully rolled his eyes. "It was for you." He smiled.

"I don't see how that would make any sense." Angela said.

"I swear, it's like you guys just don't get me sometimes." He sighed.

Angela and I glanced at each other.

"Anyway." He waved his hand. "Do you wanna know what I wished for?"

He might have looked innocent with the way he smiled at me, but the mischief in his eyes gave him away.

Knowing Demetri, it would be something funny, but highly inappropriate.

"Mm." I squinted my eyes. "I think I'll pass."

"Yeah." Angela nodded her head. "I think you should keep it to yourself."

"Boo." Demetri pouted and leaned back in his chair. "You two are no fun."

Definitely something inappropriate.

Angela turned to me. "I still can't believe you didn't want to go out tonight." She said as she placed the cupcake on my desk and took the seat beside Demetri.

"We just went out a few nights ago, and it's Wednesday." I shrugged my shoulders. "Plus, we're all going to the dude ranch soon. We can celebrate then." I wrapped the string of the balloons around the back of my chair and sat back down.

"But that's so long from now." Demetri said.

"Yeah Bella, today is your birthday." Angela said.

"You both know I don't make a big fuss about my birthday." I placed my arms on the desk. "And the trip to Montana isn't that far out."

"So, you don't want to do anything today?" Demetri asked.

"I want to keep it simple." I leaned back in my chair. "Aiden and I will probably lounge on the couch, watch a movie, have some snacks and stay up till about 9 o'clock."

"You party animal, how will you even drag yourself into work the next day." Demetri deadpanned.

I smirked. "I'll manage."

"Well, if you change your mind give us a call." Angela said as she stood. "Come on Demetri, we better get back to work."

"You're right." He stood. "Our boss is so demanding." He chuckled as they walked to the door.

I rolled my eyes. "Ha, ha."

I moved the computer mouse to unlock the screen. I needed to get some work done today.

They were halfway out the door when Demetri turned. "Try not to get drunk off Capri Suns tonight."

I threw a pen at him. "Get out." I laughed.

Angela chuckled and pushed his shoulder. "Happy birthday, Bella." She said before closing the door.

I glanced at the cupcake, it looked delicious.

Now I felt a little bad.

Aiden and I would watch a movie, have a small snack, and he would be in bed by nine.

I mean, I might have stretched the truth, but it wasn't a lie. Maybe omission… but not a complete lie.

STB

"It's time to put your shoes on, Buddy." I said as I walked into the living room.

His eyes stayed glued to the television. "Aiden."

"Five more minutes, please Mommy." He looked at me with big, rounded eyes.

"Aiden." I gave him a pointed look. "They'll be here any second. Go put your shoes on."

"Okay." He sighed, set the controller down, and walked to his room.

Yes, I bought the PlayStation.

But to be fair, this was the first time he's asked for more time to play; he knows that he only gets an allotted amount of time on the PlayStation. But just recently Aiden went to GameStop with my Dad and got the Lego Incredibles game, and he seemed to really like it.

Before you judge me, he has been doing really well in school, and when we have Egg Roll, he takes care of him, as much as he can, and he picks up his toys… and I wanted to get it for him, his smile when he opened it on Christmas morning was worth it.

I walked to my room to grab my purse but paused at the full-length mirror. I twisted and turned around, inspecting my outfit.

I went with a more casual look; medium wash blue jeans, paired with an off the shoulder gray sweater with a cream-colored tank top underneath and brown combat boots.

Simple. Comfortable. Cute.

Not too cute, not I like someone and want their attention cute, just… friendly cute.

Yeah, friendly cute.

I stopped moving and stared at myself. "Relax. This was planned way before your kinda terrible friends, and inner me, said something. You didn't think anything of it before so don't overthink it now, it's no big deal." I blew out a breath. "Just fucking relax." I pointed to myself and whispered.

"Mommy, I put my shoes on. Can I play the game till they get here?" Aiden yelled.

Okay, time to evaluate some things.

One. I was talking to myself.

Two. I was talking to myself in a mirror.

Three. I was still pointing at myself.

"Mommy!"

I slowly put my finger down. "Yeah, Honey, that's fine."

I backed away from the mirror, grabbed my bag, and went back to the living room. I threw myself down on the couch beside Aiden and watched him play.

That may have been a bit extreme.

The phone rang.

I leaned over to the end table and picked it up. "Hello."

"Good evening Ms. Swan. There's an Edward and Renata Cullen here for you. Would you like for me to send them up?" Jonathan asked.

"Yes, please."

"Will do." He said before he hung up.

"Is that them, Mommy?" Aiden asked.

"Yes, they're here." I stood up just as the doorbell rang.

I rubbed my hands down my pant legs as I walked to the door.

Get a grip, Bella.

I blew out a breath, opened the door, and smiled. "Hey guys."

"Hi Ren." Aiden said as he ran from the living room and stood beside me.

"Hi Den." She waved.

"Hey." Edward smiled.

"Come on in." I stepped to the side so they could enter.

"Mommy, can I show Ren the new game?" Aiden asked.

"Yeah, can I see it, Bella?" Renata asked as I closed the door.

They both looked up at me with smiling faces. I looked at Edward.

He looked at his down at his watch and shrugged his shoulder. "We have a few minutes to spare."

I looked back at Aiden and Renata. "Sure, but we're leaving shortly. We still have to drop you two off."

"Come on." Aiden beamed as he pulled her toward the living room.

I chuckled as I watched them go. They were too cute for words.

"Those two are thick as thieves." Edward said.

I nodded. "They definitely are."

"Happy birthday Bella." Edward said.

I turned to face him, and he held a black and white gift bag. "Edward you didn't have to get me anything."

"I know." He shrugged his shoulder. "But I wanted to."

He wanted to, isn't that sweet.

Stop talking.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"Here you go." He held out the bag for me to grab. "By the way, you look nice tonight."

Wait a minute, has he ever told me I looked nice before?

No, no, he hasn't, at least not out loud.

I smiled nervously. "Thank you. You clean up well yourself."

He looked good, but that wasn't unusual.

Now you've thought that a few times.

Again, be quiet.

He ran his hand—the one that wasn't holding the bag—through his hair and smiled. "Thanks."

I took the bag and set it on the counter and began to look through it.

"I love Garret's! Thank you!" I grinned.

He remembered your favorite midnight snack, something you told him in conversation.

Shh, don't ruin this.

I set the tin of popcorn to the side and dug back into the bag, and pulled out what was at the bottom.

I laughed.

"I figured you didn't have it and thought you could use is in your collection."

He got me several Batman movies. All with different actors portraying Bruce Wayne.

"That's a lot of Batman." I chuckled. "Now I don't have a reason to not know all things about Bruce Wayne." I said as I placed the movies on the counter.

"That's right, I'll also give you my expert commentary and by the time we've watched all the movies you'll agree that DC is better."

"It'll take forever to watch all of these and not likely. Marvel is undefeated, but I will give you credit for trying." I laughed and walked toward him. "Thank you for my gifts."

I did it without thinking.

A few days ago, I wouldn't have questioned it.

Or felt like someone could read something more into it.

I hugged him.

It's not something we'd ever done before.

Does this count as the touching Alice mentioned?

No, it couldn't. It was just a natural reaction when someone gets you a gift.

I think my action surprised us both. He froze before he wrapped his arms around me. "Oh, um, I'm glad you like them." He said.

We stepped back from each other.

That felt nice, didn't it?

Ignoring you.

I crossed my arms and cleared my throat. "So—"

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Do you know you—"

We talked over one another.

"I'm sorry go ahead."

"What were you about to say."

We did it again.

I let out a shaky laugh. "You can go first."

"I was just gonna say we live like three minutes from each other, we could've walked over here if it wasn't so cold."

"Really? I figured you were in the Gold Coast area, but I didn't know you were that close."

"Yeah, we're practically neighbors. I'm across the street, four buildings down from you." He stuffed his hands in his coat pockets.

"That's cool." I nodded my head.

It was quiet between us, but sounds from Aiden and Renata playing the game filled the silence.

This was what I was afraid of. I didn't want to make things weird between us… Well, weirder than what they'd been when we were at the club, because of what the girls and Demetri had said. While I know they have my best interest at heart, I just don't want to complicate things, so I won't. He's a great friend and I don't want to lose that.

I exhaled, feeling the tension leave my body. "I think we should get going." I smiled.

He gave a lopsided grin. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

STB

"Ren and Den" Esme beamed as we walked in the kitchen.

Renata and Aiden giggled as they took their coats off and grabbed some cookies off a plate on the island and took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Wait a minute, you get to call them that?" Edward asked with raised eyebrows.

She shrugged her shoulders and laughed. "Edward, Honey, grandmothers have perks you don't." Esme teased.

Edward scoffed.

According to Aiden and Renata, only they could refer to each other as Ren and Den, but apparently Esme got some type of approval or membership to the nickname group.

"Bella, it's so good to see you again." Carlisle said as he walked into the room with games stacked in his hands. "And happy birthday."

"Yes, happy birthday, Bella." Esme smiled.

"Thank you." I smiled at Carlisle and Esme. "And thank you for watching Aiden, I really appreciate it."

"Don't mention it, Sweetie, it's our pleasure." Esme said.

"Aiden is Renata's best friend; she wouldn't have had it any other way." Carlisle chuckled as he sat down beside the kids. "We have a fun night planned for the kids. You two go and enjoy yourselves."

Edward turned to me. "You ready Bella?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah." I turned to Aiden. "I'll see you soon, okay? Be good."

"See you later, Mommy." He barely glanced at me; he was more interested in the board games Carlisle was showing them.

"I'm sure he'll be just fine." Esme placed her hand on my shoulder. "You all go and have a good time." She beamed.

STB

The ride to the pottery studio was a quick one. Edward parked, and we went inside.

"Hello. Welcome to Lincoln Square Pottery." A woman said as soon as we walked through the door.

A door that Edward held open for me.

Had he done tha…

Nope, I wasn't going to overthink this. I wasn't going to judge every little thing he did or didn't do tonight.

And strangers hold doors open for other strangers all the time, it's the courteous thing to do.

"Hi." I smiled as we approached the front desk. "We're here for a private class."

"Okay." she said and looked at the computer. "And what name was used to book the class?"

"Isabella Swan." Edward said and leaned against the wooden desk.

"Perfect." She mumbled. "Your instructor will be Valerie. You'll be in studio four." She pointed to a door to the right. "I'll let her know you're here, but in the meantime, you can wait in the studio." She walked around the desk and disappeared out of our view.

Edward and I headed into studio four. I was immediately excited when I saw the potter's wheel.

I took my coat off and laid it and my purse in a chair that was in the back. "I can't wait to get started."

"I hope it's as fun as it looks." Edward said as he unbuttoned his coat and took it off.

"I think you'll like it. And bonus you get to try something new." I said.

"How do these classes typically go?"

"It depends on the place. I've never been here before but, in most classes, especially with beginners, the instructor will talk for a bit, go over a few techniques, and then we can get our hands into the clay."

"Sound's good. Hopefully, I don't mess up too badly."

I shrugged my shoulders. "That's the beauty of clay, it doesn't matter."

"Hello, I'm Valerie and thank you for waiting." An older, short, dark-haired woman walked in. "Have either of you taken a pottery class before?"

"I have." I said.

"What about you?" She looked at Edward.

He shook his head. "This is my first."

"Okay." She clasped her hands together. "I'll go over the basic information and then we'll get started."

For an hour she explained how to use each tool, different ways to work with the clay and finally she demonstrated the proper way to use the wheel. Even though I knew all of this information already, I wasn't bored. Valarie was entertaining, and it was interesting to see how intrigued Edward was to learn.

"Okay, I think you two are ready to begin." She stood from the barstool and wiped her hands on a cloth. "Don't forget to put your smocks on and keep your hands wet."

I quickly put the smock on, sat down behind the wheel, put the ball of clay in the center of the wheel, sped it up and wet my hands.

I'm not sure how much time passed; I was lost in my own world as I centered and compressed the clay. I began molding it into a vase.

"Oh shit. I'm making a mess." Edward said.

I softly laughed as I saw some clay splattered on the wall.

"Don't laugh." Edward chuckled.

"It wasn't a laugh. It was more of a snicker." I said.

"Edward, lock your elbows into your hips." Valerie said. "That's better. Now use your left hand more to mold the piece and just use your right hand to support." Valarie turned towards me. "Now, Bella, you may want to use your sponge to remove the excess water."

"How is it now, Valarie?" Edward asked.

"That's good, just collar it at the top for more height." She said as she smiled and watched Edward.

I grabbed the wooden knife to trim around the bottom of my vase. Valarie nodded her head and smiled.

"I think I'm ready for my sponge now." Edward said.

Valarie gave Edward a thumbs up. "You've done very well for this to be your first time."

"It's a little lopsided, but I guess it could be worse." Edward said.

"It's art, there is no such thing as imperfections." Valarie pointed at me. "Make sure you put water on the wheel before you remove your piece."

She walked over and inspected Edward's vase. "Yours is ready to come off the wheel too."

"Great! I'm glad I got it done without making too much of a mess. We have another stop." Edward said.

I raised my eyebrows with interest. "Really?"

"I know Italian is your favorite, so I made reservations at Monteverde's."

Isn't that thoughtful?

"That was nice of you, thank you, Edward."

"Oh, it was nothing, I figured we would have to eat." I saw that the tips of his ear were pink.

We stood up from our seats and untied the smocks. "Well, I appreciate it anyway." I smiled.

"You two are cute together." Valarie said as she began cleaning her workstation.

Well would you look at that.

I bit at my bottom lip. "Um…"

What was I supposed to say?

You could say, you know what you're right, all of my friends have told me that too.

Edward cleared his throat. "Th—thanks?"

"Okay, we're going to let your vases cure and the next time you come back we will bake them and then you can decide if you want to paint or glaze." She smiled. "It was a pleasure meeting you and I hope you enjoy your dinner."

STB

"Do you have a reservation, sir?" The host asked as we walked in.

"Yes, two for Cullen, please." Edward said.

He looked down at the book on the podium. "Ah, yes. Follow me, please."

Edward put his hand on the small of my back as we followed him to the table.

Has he ever put his hand there before?

I thought you weren't going to analyze anything?

It was an observation! And a fair one.

After we got settled at our table, the host gave us our menus, told us our server would be with us shortly, and walked away.

"So, how was your day?" Edward asked.

I chuckled to myself. "It wasn't as productive as I'd hoped it would be. I was kinda distracted."

"Really? What happened?" He leaned in closer to me.

Yes, please tell him what distracted you.

I tucked my stray hairs behind my ear. "I—I kept getting calls and texts from family and friends.

Liar.

No, it's not a lie. It's just not the whole truth.

"Oh, well, that's a good distraction then, right?"

I starched my neck. "Mm hm." I needed to change the subject. "How was your day?"

"Busy but good. I left one meeting and went right into another. We have a few new clients, so it was a pretty productive day for me." Edward said.

"That's great." At least one of us got through the workday, actually working.

It was quiet as we looked over the menu and decided what we wanted.

"How did you like the class, what did you think about it?" I asked as I set the menu aside.

"It was fun, a little messier than what I thought it would be." He shrugged his shoulders. "but overall, I liked it."

"Good." I smiled. "I'm glad I could be a part of another new experience for you."

Our conversation paused when the server, Phillip introduced himself, took our drink and appetizer order before he left the table.

"Yeah." He nodded. "Funny enough, I didn't even think about it that way tonight, actively checking something off a list."

"That's an improvement. Just allowing yourself to be and not worrying so much if you're actually doing it."

He shrugged his shoulder. "I don't know if I've gotten to the point of just being yet, but I am trying."

"That's all you can do, you can't rush it, and more importantly, you have to be patient with yourself. That was something I had to learn. That's why I thought your list concept was such a good idea, it shows you actually thought about where your life was in that moment and decided to make a change."

"To a certain extent your right, but it wasn't necessarily an unprovoked analysis."

"You don't give yourself enough credit. I don't know if you remember this, but some months ago you told me the reason you made the list in the first place is so you could figure out what you liked, and you're doing just that. It doesn't matter what caused it. It matters that you did something about it. Don't diminish that."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe."

We stopped talking when Phillip approached the table again to give us our drinks and appetizers' along with taking our main entrée order.

"I'm serious." I leaned toward him. "I think what you're doing is commendable. It's important that you have that sense of self, and what would have been a better way for you to do that, other than trying new things. That is literally the perfect idea after divorce. If I had done it that way, I think I would have been happier much sooner, I would have saved myself a lot of time."

"You really mean that?" He tilted his head to side and squinted his eyes. "You're happy, not that I'm trying to insinuate that you're not, or that I'm not, well I'm still working on that, I think, but considering everything, you would say you're happy?

"One hundred percent." I gave a curt nod. "I won't bullshit you and say that it was all rainbows and butterflies to be where I am now, but I am happy."

"And how long did it take you to get to this point?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could answer Edward said, "No, that's not what I'm really asking, I think the question I want to ask is how—" Edward paused.

I waited for him to continue.

He bit his bottom lip. "How did you get over your divorce, if you don't mind me asking?" He placed his elbows on the table "I feel that I'm in this weird space, like I know that what we, Gianna and I, had is over, and I've accepted that, I'm okay with that, but how do you get out of the mindset of being married?"

"Excuse me." Phillip held a tray of food in his hand. "These are still hot, so be careful." He said as he sat the plates down. "Is there anything else I can get for you all?"

"No, thank you. We're good." Edward said.

"I hope you all enjoy your meal." Phillip smiled before he walked away.

I shook my head. "I don't mind you asking."

And I didn't, but was there a thing as over sharing, even if we were friends?

But then again, he had been vulnerable enough to ask, and I did witness that day at the fire station.

I leaned back in my chair and sighed. "Well, he cheated."

He sucked his teeth. "Yeah, so did my ex-wife, for six months."

I nodded my head. I already assumed that she cheated, but I didn't feel the need to tell him that. "He cheated for two years."

Edward opened his mouth and then closed it. "Okay, you win."

I laughed. "It's not a competition. It would have sucked even if it was a onetime thing."

"True, but two years is a really long time."

"It is, but believe it or not, that wasn't the real breakdown in Alec's and my relationship."

He frowned.

"I'm not saying it wasn't one reason we divorced. It was more the straw that broke the camel's back… what pushed us over the edge. But honestly, our marriage was over before he even started cheating."

Not long after I had Aiden, Alec became distant with me and over time showed little interest in Aiden. I tried to talk about it with him, but he would only get mad and say that I was calling him a bad father.

The last three years of our marriage were not a walk in the park, but the first year of Aiden's life was the hardest. I juggled my career and our child. I didn't have the time or energy to fight with Alec repeatedly, hoping he would tell me what was wrong with him.

Thankfully, I had my parents, Alice and Rosalie, Demetri, and Angela that helped me as much as they could and without them, I don't know what I would've done during that rough time.

But sadly, I'm not even sure if that was the beginning of our end. Everything happened so quick, it was like one day we were fine, or at least I thought we were, and then the next day we weren't.

"So, you think having a child changed your relationship?" Edward frowned.

"No." I shook my head. "But that was when things started noticeably going downhill."

He chewed a bite of his pasta. "I don't get it."

"It can be a bit confusing, but to keep it as simple as possible. We grew apart, and that was a hard thing to accept at the time. We had been together since high school, so it would be unrealistic to think that over time he wouldn't change. I'm not even the same person I was two years ago, so the idea that he would always be the same person never entered my mind. I wanted and expected us to grow and evolve, and we did." I scoffed as I picked up my glass and took a sip of water before I set it down. "But not together, and even though we had been together for a while, we didn't know each other anymore. Honestly, I don't think either of us cared enough to try."

It didn't sound too good when I said it out loud, but it was the truth. A truth neither of us wanted to admit at the time.

"After that point, after we both checked out, we weren't going to work. One of us should have walked away much sooner than what we did, well I did but…" I trailed off.

I don't know why I didn't leave that marriage sooner. It wasn't necessarily comfortable, but I guess I had some misplaced hope that we would get through it together, and work through it.

"My point is at the end of it all, we both wanted different things that didn't include the other, and when I had the chance to step back and evaluate our relationship, I realized that, maybe we both hung on to something that we should've let go of when we were still kids." I sighed. "It's not to say that at one point we didn't love each other, I think we did, but that wasn't enough, not later on."

"So, knowing that you couldn't work it out—that you couldn't change anything, and accepting the situation for what it was—helped you get over the divorce?"

"Yes, and no. You can't make someone love you or want to be with you. Not that I would have done that. But as it pertains to Alec's and my relationship, I accepted I couldn't change that, so there was no need for stressing or beating myself up about it." I shrugged my shoulder. "Also, I grieved our marriage while we were still together. And I had my moments of crying, and feeling sad, angry, betrayed, and for a stint of time like something was wrong with me, or that I wasn't good enough, and I had to work through all of those feelings, and I did. So, by the time we actually divorced, I was ready, and I wanted to."

And I was, but it still bruised my ego a bit to see all those pictures of Alec and Chelsea. But more than anything I felt relief. I hadn't been imagining things, my suspicions had been correct, and I found relief in knowing that I wasn't the only one who gave up on us.

"It wasn't easy, the grieving process, but I had to allow myself to grow through that, to feel all those things, and to move on with my life in order to get where I am now."

"That sounds like a lot of work." Edward held his hand out. "Not that, I mean that as a bad thing, but did it take years to work through those feelings and for you to feel normal again?"

"It doesn't have to take years. No relationship is the same, so no separation is going to be exactly the same. But no matter the circumstance, divorce is very emotional and can disrupt every aspect of your life."

"You can say that again." Edward mumbled while he moved his pasta around with his fork.

"There's no time frame that is acceptable for someone to feel normal again, that's why you have to be patient with yourself. I know you would like a simple, cut and dry answer, but there is no rulebook for getting through the divorce. I know it's not fun, but don't rush this time of your life."

"I get what you're saying." He nodded his head. "I need to focus less on the when and not resist this process so much."

"Right." I placed my hand on top of his, the one that had been resting on the table. "From a friend who understands what you're going through, you're headed in the right direction."

"I hope so." He gave a small smile. "I'm looking forward to being on the other side of this." He said as I moved my hand and took a sip of my pop.

We had easy going conversation for the rest of our dinner, and we were able to laugh and joke, like usual. I was happy our prior conversation hadn't ruined the evening. We even shared a cannoli ice cream sundae for dessert before we left.

Once we pulled up in front of Carlisle and Esme's house, Edward opened my door and helped me get out.

We walked up the stairs and he reached in his pants pocket to pull out the key and opened the front door.

He motioned for me to go in first, followed behind, and closed the door.

I turned to face him. "Thank you for tonight, I really had a good time."

He took a step toward me. "It was my pleasure, I enjoyed myself as well." He smiled.

"I'm glad you did." I smiled back.

"Me too."

He didn't say anything else.

I didn't say anything.

Someone needed to say something before this got awkward.

I cleared my throat. "We should do this again soon."

He nodded. "Yeah, we should."

I blew out a breath. "Well, okay."

"Okay." He put his hands in his coat pockets.

"Good."

I puffed out my cheeks. "Cool."

He glanced down, rubbed the back of his neck, and looked back at me. "Um, yeah. That's cool, very cool."

Okay, now this was officially awkward. We weren't saying anything… well, anything of substance. We just stood there.

"I should probably get Aiden." I said.

"Oh." He blinked. "Uh, yeah, me too. I mean I should get Renata, we should go, before it gets too late."

We didn't move.

Edward chuckled and raked his fingers through his hair. "Does this feel a little awkward to you?"

"Yeah." I laughed. It sounded too breathy even to my own ears. "Just a bit."

He rubbed his eyes and sighed. "This is all Emmett's fault." He muttered.

I frowned. "What's Emmett's fault?"

"Uh nothing, I just remembered something he said." Before I could ask him what Emmett had said, he shook his head and grinned. "I hope you enjoy the rest of your birthday Bella."

"I will." I smiled. "Thank you, Edward."

We were staring again.

Mmm.

Had his eyes always looked like that?

Warm.

Gentle.

Easy to get lost in.

This felt different.

"Bella?" He said in a soft tone.

"Huh?"

When did we get this close to each other?

He bit the corner of his lip and I was immediately sucked in.

Had his lips always looked like that?

Pouty.

Soft.

Kind of perfect.

"Bella." He said again. He was so close his breath washed over my face.

I blinked a few times and looked up at him. "Edward."

What in the hell was going on here?

Something more than friendship.

I couldn't look away from his eyes.

Not like you really want to.

Was he bending down toward me? Was I stretching up toward him? Or were we bending and stretching simultaneously?

Who the fuck was moving?

Why was it so hot?

Probably because of his lips.

My breathing grew faster.

He leaned in closer. Or maybe I did, or we both did.

Hell, at this point I'm not even sure.

We were mere centimeters apart, there was hardly any space between us.

But yet we were getting closer, and closer, and closer.

He licked his lips.

My lips parted.

Yes, you know you want this.

But we're friends.

But his lips…

Without even meaning to, my eyes closed.

Okay, we're really going to do this.

Best case scenario, we act like it never happened.

That would be impossible.

Worst case scenario… I don't know what the worst case scenario would be.

Why does there have to be a worst case scenario?

He was closer. I could feel it.

"Bella." He breathed out.

My eyes popped open.

We had never been this close before. I could see how long his lashes were.

His eyes showed so many emotions.

Curiosity.

Nervousness.

Wonder.

Were mine reflecting the same?

Our faces drifted toward each other.

I hope what I ate wasn't too garlicky.

Doesn't matter now.

Sparks ignited.

His lips brushed against mine.

They were as soft as they looked.

Butterflies danced in my stomach.

I had never felt that before, that warm, tingly feeling.

I liked it.

I wanted more.

"Carlisle, don't forget to get the kids drinks." Esme yelled from somewhere in the house.

That snapped us out of whatever trance we were in.

We stepped back from one another and both let out a nervous laugh, avoiding eye contact.

I scratched my head while my gaze stayed down, locked on my shoes. "I should get going, it's getting late."

Shit, he drove.

"I mean we. We should get going." I mumbled.

Edward cleared his throat. "Yeah. Um, everyone's more than likely downstairs, in the basement."

I knew where that was from when I was here last time.

"Okay." I turned in that direction and finally looked up.

My steps faltered, and I let out a small gasp.

Shit. Double shit.

"Dad." Edward said nervously. "Uh, how long have you been standing there?" He asked as he took a few steps, so he stood beside me.

Carlisle's eyes bounced between Edward and me. "Long enough, I'd say."

"Oh." A shaky laugh slipped out. "We were just saying goodnight." I tried to smile, but I'm sure I may have winced.

"Okay." He slowly nodded his head. "Well, don't let me interrupt you." He smiled before he headed into the kitchen.

I felt my whole face heat up.

Would it be too much to ask for the earth to just open up and swallow me whole?

Chelsea

I feel like my life has slowed to a standstill.

I couldn't point out what was wrong exactly or why, but I knew it wasn't right; which was frustrating in itself: to know there's a problem but not be able to articulate what it was or fix it…

It was all pretty terrible, but I guess I couldn't dwell on it for long.

Work had been good, well, it used to be good. It hasn't been the same as when I first started, or at least what I thought it would be.

When I got the call from my agent that Donatella wanted to sign me, I thought things were looking up.

I walked on runways during shows, did photoshoots, and a commercial. I was even on a billboard. And for the first time in a while, I was being paid for all the jobs I'd booked.

I was getting paid to do what I loved. And I wasn't so financially dependent on Alec. Not that he bought every single thing I needed. Yes, things had been tight before, but I wasn't broke, not completely.

I'm not oblivious. I know that when Alec and I got together he had made things more financially comfortable for me, but he helped me more than what I would have liked.

I wanted our relationship to be an equal partnership. I wanted to give just as much to him as he had given to me.

And with the money I made, I could do that. Well, some of that, I wasn't making that much, yet. I was still up and coming, but I made more than I ever had before, so I started off small. I took him to nice restaurants, and I was able to budget for a few weeks to get him a nice watch for Christmas.

He was so surprised, and he liked it so much he thanked me. Twice. After that my mind began to wonder. If he loved the watch that much, how would he respond to a bigger gesture.

It might have been premature, but because I felt things were going so well, I had saved up so we could get a place together.

Alec still stayed in the house he had when he was married. And for some time now I've wanted us to get our own place together. Have something that was both of ours, without the memories of past relationships.

I looked at a few places and found a house that I was absolutely in love with. It was a rustic, yet modern home with five bedrooms, four and a half bathrooms, with a huge kitchen, and the cutest backyard. But what I really loved was the greenhouse. It was so peaceful.

I couldn't afford it myself, but I just knew it would work out somehow. Alec would see the house, love it just as much as I did, we would make an offer, get the home, move in, and start our forever.

Okay, well maybe not exactly like that, but you get what I'm saying. Alec and I would live together, and that would be a big step in our relationship. It would be a true commitment. We've been together for almost three years now. It would be the natural progression for us. But of course, before that happened, I would need to meet his parents finally.

According to Alec, he wanted to protect me from his mother. And I believed him, from what he's told me Victoria could be a bit much, but I would endure her, his ex-wife and anyone else I had to just so he would know that there was nothing I wouldn't do for him.

But no matter how many times I tried to tell him that, he wouldn't budge, and that bothered me. If I had parents for him to meet, he would have met them two years ago. I knew I would never want anyone but him, and I know he wanted and loved me, too. But isn't it strange for a couple to be together this long and not meet their partner's parents? I mean, I know we kept quiet about us for the first two years, but our relationship has been public knowledge for the past twelve months.

In all fairness, I couldn't complain too much. I met his friends and co-workers; they were cool. Some of his friend's wives had even invited me to go to the spa and lunch with them a few times. And that was new for me. I never really had friends growing up, let alone friends who were women. Even as I got older, I lacked in that area of my life.

While I was still trying to wrap my mind around the thought that I actually had friends, ultimately it felt good to be intertwined in Alec's life, to be acknowledged by others as someone important to him. And that was great, wonderful even, but I still believed if I could just meet Alec's mother, that would seal the deal on our relationship.

I asked Alec as many questions as I could about his parents, and while he doesn't talk about his dad much, he told me a little about his Mom's life before she married Garrett.

And that encouraged me. I felt like Victoria and I were similar in so many ways. We both came from small towns and grew up being relatively poor. But despite how and where we grew up, we made something of ourselves. That was something we could both relate to.

And I know Victoria hates Bella. So, I knew she would love me; I was nothing like her.

In my mind, everything would work out perfectly.

Or so I thought.

All those ideas vanished before I could even register that there was a problem.

Work suddenly slowed down, greatly.

At one point I was so busy that I would barely see Alec for days at a time. But as time passed that slowly dwindled, I went from working every day to every other day to twice a week. Now I might book three jobs a month, if I'm lucky. And they've all been kind of shitty in one way or another.

The last shoot I did was in New Zealand. At first, I was excited; I was in a beautiful place I'd never been before and that was the first job I booked for that month. However, the working conditions were terrible; the changing room was in a covered car parking lot in the middle of winter, and we spent hours waiting around in the freezing cold, barefoot; obviously not dressed appropriately for the weather. Plus, the photographer was a complete asshole.

Then another time I was sent to do a fashion show, and I literally waited for seventeen hours for a dress fitting, in a lobby with no cell reception.

You can imagine all the fun I had.

If I were to compare my last two jobs to my first ones, the difference was laughable. It would be like comparing filet mignon to spam, or whatever was inside hot dogs. My opportunities changed drastically, and I didn't understand it.

And if you didn't know or haven't figured it out by now, models were contract workers; if I don't work, I don't get paid. And because I was in a contract with Versace, I couldn't do other projects with other brands. I was stuck. And the last job was about two weeks ago, so I was saving as much as I could. I didn't want to go back to depending on Alec, not like I used to.

Needless to say, I had a lot of free time on my hands. So, I tried to make the best of it. I thoroughly cleaned my apartment, organized some stuff, even did a little yoga. And when I got bored with that, I obsessed over my dream home. I called the real estate agent every day to make sure no one had put an offer in, and every time he told me that no one had, it made me happy, made me feel like I still had a chance, like the house was meant to be mine.

But that dream quickly went down the toilet. The house sold. It sold before I could mention it to Alec, and before I could save enough money.

So not only had work slowed down, the house I loved slipped right through my fingers, and speaking of, because I wasn't working much, that brought me back to one of my biggest problems.

I didn't have anything to do.

So, I focused on my relationship, on Alec.

I thought about how we could improve our relationship. I came up with the usual things that all couples could work on, communication, trust, intimacy, and support, you know the usual stuff. Not that we didn't have all of that, but I'm sure we could grow in those areas, and we would. We would work on all of those things, but the only real flaw I felt we had was that I had yet to meet his parents.

I left it alone before, but not this time. I asked Alec about just setting up a dinner so we could meet, but he said what he always did, that he was trying to protect me and when that didn't work, we got into an argument. But that didn't deter me. Come hell, or high water, I was going to meet his parents.

So, I made it seem like I dropped it. To Alec it appeared that I let it go, but really I was thinking about what I could do to set up a happy coincidence. I couldn't just force something. Alec would be angry, but if we bumped into them by accident, he couldn't get too mad.

But no matter how hard or long I thought about it, I came up blank.

Then one day I got my opportunity. Alec and I were lying in bed. He was asleep when his phone chirped. Typically, I wouldn't have paid attention to it. I never had the need or desire to go through Alec's phone, but for some reason, my body reacted before my mind could process how wrong it was to invade his privacy.

I slowly lifted the covers off of me and slid out of the bed, making sure to not disturb him. I tiptoed to the dresser, where he usually kept his phone when he stayed at my place, and before I picked up the phone, I turned back to make sure he was still sleeping; he was.

I blew out a breath and tapped the screen. The phone light illumined the room, so I had to hurry. He got a text from Garrett.

It said:

Hey Son. Meet your mother and me at Oriole Saturday…

I couldn't read the rest; I didn't know his passcode. I tried to guess what it could have been, but after the third time, with no luck, I stopped and set the phone down. I didn't want to disable it.

I didn't have all the information, but it was something.

And I didn't have to do any, well, much scheming. This opportunity just fell into my lap, kind of.

I took it as a sign that someone or something in this world knew that I was supposed to meet Garrett and Victoria.

Now that I knew the day, all I had to do was get the time out of him, which would be easy. All I had to do was ask a simple, innocent question.

I bounced on my toes as I put my hand over my mouth to contain my squeal of excitement.

I already knew the outfit I would wear.

Everything would be perfect.

I tiptoed back to the bed and carefully slipped under the covers. I leaned over and gently kissed Alec's cheek and laid back down.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I drifted to sleep.

Four days later, I stood in front of the mirror checking my hair and makeup for the last time. I looked good; I was wearing a long-sleeved, knee-length black dress with my black Louboutin's and I donned three strings of pearls, a gift from Alec.

I got Alec to tell me his plans; I asked him to have dinner with me, and when he said he couldn't, I knew that was the day he was going to the restaurant.

Earlier in the week, I asked Alec to have dinner with me this Saturday. At first, he said he couldn't, that he already had plans, but after I pouted a bit, he offered to meet me afterward around seven o'clock. I told him it was fine and that we could go out another time and that I would just go out with Jessica, one of his friend's wife.

I guessed he would meet his parent at around five. I called him a little earlier to make sure I was right, and I was. He was on his way to his dinner plans while we were talking.

Everything was falling right into place

I was extremely nervous. My stomach had been in knots for days, but it was worse tonight.

I wanted to make a good impression.

I would get to Oriole's after them, make it seem like Jessica canceled on me last minute and before I would leave, I would just happen to notice him and approach the table, after all how was I supposed to know he was with his parents?

The plan was foolproof.

Or so I thought.

A/N: Thank you to Everyone for reviewing, recing, following and favoriting our story. We appreciate and look forward to reading each review.

There will be an update change starting this week. Normally we update with a new chapter every Monday. However, since we are revising chapters 1-7, we will update with a new chapter every other Monday. So, next Monday, June 7th we will post chapter 1 and the following Monday will be chapter 21. We will continue with that schedule until we have completed all the revised chapters.

Recs: Until We Taste The Same, by LillainBroderick Blood has been spilled on both sides and the only way to ensure loyalty is also through blood. Mobward

WIP II Dottore Delta Mafia, by cullenlvr83 Bella is now finished with her medical residency and in completely broke. After helping a member of the mafia due to witnessing a car accident, they give her an offer that sounds too good to be true. The only bad thing is not taking it could mean sure death.

Hard to Love, by drotuno I didn't know how to ask him if I was going to lose the one person that had love me unconditionally my entire life, Bella Swan had been in every moment of my life since I was seven years old. Eighteen years. She was there for it all, and it wasn't supposed to end like this.