Somewhere To Begin Chapter 21, a twilight fanfic

A huge thank you to our awesome team, Liz Vesper, Editor and pre-readers, Connie Sanders and BohemianRituals. You ladies are a tremendous help, and this story wouldn't be what it is without you!

And here we go…

Chapter 21: Pending…

Edward

"Come on, Aiden." Bella rushed out of the car. "Let's go Buddy." She said after she opened his door.

"Okay, Mommy." Aiden unbuckled his self. "See you later Ren, bye Edward."

"Later, Den." Renata said as he hopped out of the truck.

"Goodnight." Bella said.

"Good—" She closed the door.

I sighed. The ride back to her place from my parents was very different from the one we took earlier. We were quiet the whole time, but it wasn't a comfortable silence.

I wasn't expecting the night to end this way.

Until now, everything had been great. The pottery class was nice, the food was tasty, and we had good conversation followed by a relaxing car ride home and then boom, we kissed.

Like I said I hadn't expected it but… it was a nice, really nice. But that didn't matter too much. I guess. Things got extremely awkward afterwards.

And to make matters worse, my dad saw. My cheeks burned now. I felt like a teenage boy again, caught kissing a girl after a date.

I mean, not that I thought this was a date or anything…

Please tell me how after a night of pottery, dinner, dessert, and a kiss on the lips, with a woman doesn't count as a date?

I may be a bit out of practice, but we talked about our divorces. That's not really date conversation, even I know that.

Obviously, it didn't kill the mood too much.

I blew out a breath and glanced down. Bella left her purse. I looked out the window they hadn't made it inside yet.

I rolled down my window. "Bella." I yelled; she didn't hear me.

I honked the horn, and she turned. "You forgot your bag." I said.

"What?" She frowned.

I leaned over and grabbed the purse and held it up. "You forgot your bag." I said louder.

"Oh." She shook her head as she and Aiden walked back to the truck. "Thanks." She took the bag from my outstretched hand. "I wouldn't have been able to get inside our condo, without my key." She chuckled nervously.

I inhaled. "That would have sucked."

"Yeah." She nodded.

We weren't really looking at each other.

Should I say something?

What would I say?

Bella sighed. "Goodnight Edward."

"Goodnight Bella." I said before they turned and made their way toward the building.

I stayed there till they were inside.

I groaned and dropped my head against the steering wheel. This is just peachy.

"Daddy." Renata said.

"Yes, Sweetheart." I sat up and looked at her through the rear-view mirror.

Her face was pinched together. "I have to pee."

"Okay, Honey." I pulled off. "Can you hold it? We'll be home in a few minutes."

"Yeah, I think so."

I pulled into the underground garage and parked; we quickly headed inside and got on the elevator. After I unlocked and opened the door, Renata barreled towards the bathroom while I hung my coat up.

I dragged my feet to the family room, plopped down on the couch, and let out a heavy sigh.

She practically ran out of the car. It's like she couldn't get away fast enough.

I rubbed my hands over my face. "What a night."

Egg Roll trotted to the living room and sat down beside my feet.

"Egg Roll." Jellybean called.

"He's up where with me, Sweetie."

She skipped into view and smiled when she saw Egg Roll. It was so infectious I smiled despite of how I felt. "Did you all have fun with your grandparents?"

"We had the best time, Daddy." Her eyes widened. "I beat Den and Coco in Chutes and Ladders and Connect 4 but May-May won Monopoly." She frowned for a second and then perked up. "But then we baked cinnamon rolls and watched a movie."

"I'm glad you all enjoyed yourselves." I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

She grinned. "Do you think Den can go to May-May's with me again?"

"Uh." I scratched the back of my neck. "I'll have to ask Bella."

I don't know who I'd be more nervous to see again, my dad or Bella.

"It's almost your bedtime. Did you check Egg Roll's food and water bowl?"

That was her chore. She made sure his water and food dishes were filled before she went to bed and before we left in the mornings.

"I'll look now." She slapped her hands on her thighs. "Come on, boy."

Egg Roll followed behind her.

"I'll run your bath water so you can get in the tub once you're finished." I said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Okay." Renata said as I stood from the couch and headed to her bathroom.

While the tub filled with warm water, I grabbed her pajamas and set them on the bathroom counter before I cut the water off and went back to sit on the couch.

Jellybean walked out of the kitchen with Egg Roll still following behind. "I'm all done Daddy."

"Okay." I smiled. "Your bath is ready."

"Can I add bubbles?" She grinned.

I lifted one shoulder. "Sure."

"Awesome." She did a fist pump and ran toward her bathroom.

I chuckled. She picked up some of Aiden's mannerism.

Egg Roll grunted and stared at me.

"What?" I frowned.

He strolled over to the couch and tried to lift his body up.

I watched him as he struggled.

Eventually he barked at me, as if asking for help.

I leaned down and lifted him up, and he scampered up onto the couch.

He walked in a circle for a few seconds before he plopped down and let out a breath through his nose.

I guess that was a bit of a workout for him.

His eyes stayed on me, unblinking.

I turned my body toward him. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He tilted his head.

I raised my eyebrows.

He walked toward me, laid his head on my lap, and looked up at me.

I rubbed his head and chuckled.

I needed a listening ear.

I'm sure Jasper, Emmett, or Jacob would listen.

No, those aren't the ears I want to talk to, and they didn't even know Bella and I went out tonight.

You could call Ma.

Negative.

Dad.

I think he's seen enough for one night.

Egg Roll it was then, well dog was man's best friend.

I sighed as I continued to stroke his head. "I kissed Bella, or maybe she kissed me." I thought back to what happened. "Actually, I don't know who initiated the kiss, but it happened."

He sat up and let out a high-pitched bark, as if telling me to continue.

"I don't even know if it would count as a real kiss. Technically, our lips barely touched, they just kind of moved across the others."

If that's not kissing, I don't know what is.

He wagged his tail.

I knitted my eyebrows together. "And Dad saw.

He looked at me with those big eyes and let out a low whine.

"Thankfully, it wasn't Ma, but it was still embarrassing. I'm a thirty-year-old man and I got caught by my dad." I sighed.

I played with his ears for a moment.

"But the worst part… not only would Bella not look at me, but it was also extremely awkward." I ran my hand through my hair. "Which I get. Hell, I didn't even know what to say."

Egg Roll snorted.

Did he just laugh at me?

"Hey, don't judge me." I mumbled. "I haven't done this in years but…" I looked around the room to make sure I was alone. "But I-I liked it." I whispered.

Her lips were small but plump and really soft. And she had the tiniest beauty mark in the corner of her top lip, something I hadn't noticed until tonight.

Like how bright her smile was. How captivating her eyes were, how infectious her laugh was…

Is it too far-fetched to think that you want to be in a relationship with her? But actually, know about it.

"I'm not ready to be in a relationship yet… I think?" I frowned and looked at Egg Roll.

His ears perked up.

"Oh, come on, I didn't say never." I didn't want to be single forever; I would like to have a relationship… at some point.

Great to know you don't plan to be a spinster.

But could it be with Bella?

"I mean, don't get me wrong, any man would be lucky to be with her. Bella was beautiful, and an amazing woman and mother."

And the issue is?

"It's just she's an amazing person and, I- I just." I blew out a breath. "I'm still figuring things out, with myself. I don't want to put all my baggage on Bella. It wouldn't be fair. We're in two different spaces, you get what I'm saying right?"

Egg Roll laid his head back on my lap, and we sat in silence for a few moments.

"Daddy, can you come read to me now?" Renata asked.

"Sure, Honey." I rubbed Egg Roll one last time and stood up. "Good talk." I said before I headed to Renata's room.

After Jellybean was asleep, I took a shower myself and got into bed.

As I tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable, my mind went in circles. Would we still be the same after this? It wasn't until the wee hours of the morning that I finally succumbed to sleep.

STB

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wynn, will you please repeat that again?" I tried to stifle a yawn.

He cleared his throat. "Sure. One of the many pros to a storage facility is it requires almost no training or labor. I've interviewed a few people already and I think I have the perfect person in mind to rent out the units, handle the basic customer service and property care."

This was the second time he'd repeated some of the same information to me.

I should've stayed home.

Why? So you could talk to your therapist, Egg Roll?

You're not funny.

You're right… I'm hilarious.

"Mr. Cullen, do you agree?" Mr. Wynn asked.

"Huh?" I cleared my throat. "Agree with what?"

He exhaled. "That the five-figure investment is minimum in comparing to the multimillion-dollars we could make on this project."

I pressed back in my chair. "Yes, that could be a profitable investment." I needed to get off of the call before I fucked this deal up for us. "Mr. Wynn, would it be okay if I went through your business plan with my partner and follow up with you Monday morning with our final determination?"

I heard the smile in his voice. "That sounds perfect, Mr. Cullen. If you or your partner have any questions, please don't hesitate to call."

"Will do, Sir. Have a good weekend."

"You do the same."

I hung the phone up and put both hands on my temple and messaged them. A headache was brewing.

How the hell would I get through the rest of my day? I had three more meetings later, and I fumbled through the first two.

I couldn't continue like this, I needed to get some resolve.

You're gonna call Bella?

No, but I will do the next best thing.

I opened my desk drawer, pulled out a notepad, closed it, and grabbed the pen that had already been on my desk.

I took a deep breath.

I wasn't sure if I was going overboard, but I needed to put some things into perspective.

At the top I wrote: Are you and Bella in a relationship?

I stared at that for a second. That didn't really feel like the question I needed an answer to, at least not at the moment, so I ripped out the page, balled it up, and threw it in the trash.

I tapped the pen against my desk as I thought about what I was really trying to ask myself, and of course my mind went back to the night we went to the club.

Honestly, what they said didn't bother me too much, but it stayed in the back of my mind for a few days. I kept thinking about all the times Bella and I did things together, whether the kids were with us or not. And I realized we spend a lot of time together, more time than I had spent with anyone outside of my family.

We enjoyed each other's company and our kids have been practically joined at the hip, but I still didn't see how they perceived us to be in a relationship… well, until last night.

Were Emmett and Jasper right?

"Would it be so bad if you two explored something?"

The bigger question was, should we?

I'd say you might've done some exploring last night.

Not helping.

At the top of the fresh sheet, I wrote: Do I like Bella?

Yes.

Now we're getting somewhere.

That was easy though, Bella is a very likeable person, I wouldn't want to be around someone I disliked.

I think you just proved Jasper's point.

Moving on.

Next, I wrote: Do I like Bella as more than a friend?

I bit the inside of my cheek as I thought about it.

Did I feel like I knew Bella well? I would say yes, I did. But do I know enough to like or even think of her as more than a friend?

I rubbed the back of my neck as I thought about that.

I felt like the answer should have been simple, but I needed to be sure, I don't want or mean to be pessimistic, but after everything that had happened between Gianna and me, I've learned that things aren't always as they seem.

"Don't get too ahead of yourself there Edward." I mumbled to myself.

Yeah, it's not like you're asking if you should marry her.

Take a deep breath and start simple.

What would make me like Bella as more than a friend? Okay, let's start with what I know I like about her.

She's independent.

Caring.

Supportive.

She's open to trying new things,

She's understanding.

I can talk to her about anything.

Besides this, you mean.

Are you ever quiet?

It's easy to be around her.

She's honest with me.

She's a good listener, and I don't feel judged.

She's accomplished.

Has a sense of humor, she's not serious all the time; she knows how to relax.

She goes after what she wants.

She's confident in who she is.

Renata likes her. I put a star next to that because that's a must.

My parents like her.

My pen hovered over the paper; did I miss anything?

Sounds like enough to like, like somebody to me.

I placed my elbows on the desk and stretched my legs out, and looked back at the question.

Do I like Bella as more than a friend?

I just began writing the answer when my office door. "Dude." Emmett said as he barged in.

I quickly grabbed the notepad and threw it in a drawer. "What's up?" I was about to put my elbow on the desk but then moved to cross my arms. I did that twice before I crossed my arms.

Emmett frowned. "What's up? You look like you're malfunctioning and you're asking me what's up?"

I looked around the room. "Yeah."

"What is going on with you, man?" He sat in the chair that was in front of my desk.

"What are you talking about?" I huffed as I tried to look busy by moving the papers that were scattered around my desk.

"Cut the bullshit. You're acting weirder than usual; you weren't evening paying attention in the last meeting."

"I was paying attention." I muttered. "It's just that I was… multi-tasking." I drawled. "Yeah, multi-tasking. I was going over the numbers of the other company, we're going to meet with later."

"Multi-tasking?" He arched one of his eyebrows.

"Mm-hm." I nodded before I looked down at papers in my hand.

It was quiet as I flipped through a few papers, too quiet, considering Emmet was in the room. I looked up at him.

He was staring at me with a look of disbelief. "Do you really expect me to believe that?"

I stared at him blankly.

"Come on, Eddie." He leaned forward in his chair. "Tell me what's going on."

"There's nothing going on."

He pursed his lips. "Is it Renata?"

"No. There is nothing wrong with Renata, she's fine."

"Gianna?" He tilted his head to the side.

"What?" I frowned. "Why would you think that?" I held my hands out with my palms up.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Just a wild guess."

"It's a wrong a guess."

"Okay." He inhaled and leaned back in his seat. "It's not Renata, or Gianna, Mom and Dad are good, business is great, what could it be?" He rubbed his chin as he talked to himself.

"Don't you have work to do?"

He said nothing, rubbed his chin, and looked at me.

I rolled my eyes and went back to the paperwork in my hand.

I was actually paying attention, and from what I saw, we would need to have a meeting with this company. Their profits were dropping drastically.

"That's it!" Emmett snapped his fingers.

I looked up. He leaned toward me with a smirk on his lips and waggled his eyebrows.

"Ew." I scrunched my face up. "Don't look at me like that."

"It's Bella isn't it?" He stood from his chair and placed both of his hands on my desk.

My stomach rolled. I had to get him as far away from that thought as possible.

I tugged on my ear. "What about Bella?"

"Oh no, don't play dumb Eddie." He grinned. "You said so yourself. Renata is fine, there is nothing between you and Gianna, and like I said, the business and our parents are good." He stood to his full height. "So, little brother, that only leaves Bella, and your non-relationship, relationship." He smiled.

Keep it cool, don't overreact.

I sighed heavily. "You must be proud of yourself, detective, and I hate to spoil this for you; I really do, but you're wrong. There is nothing wrong with me and Bella."

I hope.

"I swear it's like you forget I know you." He shook his head. "But since you want to make this difficult, allow me to explain." He paced. "You weren't paying attention during a very important meeting, you're trying too hard to convince me that there isn't something going on with you, you've had that sad, dumb look on your face all day, and bonus you stuffed something in the draw as soon as I walked in."

"I have not had a sad, dumb look on my face."

"Yes, you have, it's this one." He furrowed his eyebrows, pouted his lips, and held his eyes downcast.

"I do not look like that."

He straightened his face. "Uh-huh." He nodded. "You've made that face since we were kids when something was bothering you." He stood back in front of me. "But that's beside the point, and what I'm about to say may seem rude, but that's not my intention."

It's probably still going to be rude.

"There is nothing else going on in your life to throw you off your game like this, and we both know when it's come to women you've always been an amateur, who I've helped along the way."

Amateur? I wouldn't say that. When I was a younger, I might have been shy, but I would never say inexperienced. I'd like to think I was mysterious.

"Help me along the way?" I cackled. "I think we both know that's not true."

"Denial." He shook his head. "It's so sad, but since we're on the topic of denying things, I'll use this as a segue to get back to my point."

"Which is?"

"That something happened between you and Bella, and now you realize you like her but don't know what you're doing, which is why you're all over the place today." He slapped his hand against his forehead like he had an epiphany. "I don't know why I didn't think of that earlier."

I wouldn't say I was all over the place, maybe a step or two behind…

"Let me help you like I did when we were in high school." He placed his hands on his chest. "Tell Papa Em what's up with you and Bella so I can make it all better."

Papa Em? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

"First, don't ever call yourself Papa Em when you're talking to me, that's disgusting, and wrong on so many levels. Second, there is nothing going on between Bella and me."

If I knew he wouldn't gloat about being right, I may have been more inclined to tell him, but that was like asking water to not be wet, but I was still trying to make sense of what happened between us last night before I told anyone else.

Your Dad already knows.

That doesn't count. He wasn't supposed to see that.

"I don't believe you." He narrowed his eyes and plopped back down into his chair. "I'll just stay here, till you tell me."

"Whatever, I actually have work to do." Which I did, but would I get it done?

"Edward." He whispered. "Edward."

I ignored him.

"Eddie, Ed, Eduardo."

I still said nothing.

"Edvard." He said, with a terrible Russian accent.

I stayed silent.

"Will you just tell me already?" He asked louder, causing me to jump a little.

"Emmett, there is nothing to tell." I said, getting frustrated.

I mean, there was, but still…

He jumped out of his seat just as there was a knock at the door.

Thank god. "Come in." I said.

Carmen walked in. "Good morning." She clasped her hands together. "Your eleven o'clock is here Mr. Cullen." She looked at Emmett.

"Thank you, Carmen, I'll be right there." Emmett said.

She smiled, nodded her head once, and walked out.

As soon as the door closed, Emmett turned to me. "This isn't over." He pointed at me.

"Okay, Emmett." I rolled my eyes.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm telling Ma."

"You're so childish, Em." I kept my composure, but on the inside I got a little nervous. She wouldn't rest until she knew about what happened, assuming Dad didn't already tell her; but since I haven't gotten a call, and she hasn't popped up here, I think the odds are in my favor. "I'm a grown man, you can't just go snitch to Ma just because I won't tell you something."

"So, there is something for you to tell." He said.

"No." I sighed. "Now go, you shouldn't keep your client waiting."

"I'm going to get to the bottom of this." He said.

"Well, have fun with that." I said as he walked out of the office.

I waited a few moments to make sure he was actually gone.

I opened the drawer and grabbed the notepad.

I contemplated the question again.

I just finished writing my answer when my cell phone chirped.

I glanced down to see who it was.

Bella's name flashed.

Hey Edward, I have a late appointment. I won't be able to walk Egg Roll with you today.

Was she avoiding me?

Or she could actually have a late appointment.

Hey, no problem. I'm pretty swamped myself.

I waited to see if she would say anything else, but when she didn't, I put the phone down and slid the notepad back in the drawer.

In the time that we've had Egg Roll, neither of us missed a walk. Not that Bella couldn't be busy with work, but this was the first time this happened. And after such an… unexpected ending to last night, I couldn't help but think it may have something to do with her canceling.

To be fair, I was still trying to wrap my head around the kiss, and what it may or may not mean. I wasn't sure if I should or wanted to make the first move.

"Ugh." I rubbed my eyes.

It felt like so much changed already; it was a little overwhelming.

Was Bella was just as confused as I was?

I didn't want to complicate things, and more importantly, I didn't want to ruin our friendship. If she needed a little space—maybe that's what we both needed—I could give her that.

Lucas

All the little things that I once wrote off made sense.

Why we didn't see each other more than a few times a week.

Why we only talked at specific times.

Her initial reaction to me meeting Renata.

Why we only slept together twice.

I thought we had something real, but was a just a fling?

Was I an escape from her real, established life?

The life with her husband, her daughter… her family.

I felt dumb. I, a once married man, couldn't tell that Gianna was married. Now looking back, I can see how oblivious I was, it's almost comical how if I'd paid attention, the truth was right in front of me.

At the time I thought she was a single mom and a businesswoman, so I figured she didn't have much time to spare. And with me being a firefighter, neither did I.

When I was married to Mia, my work was never a problem for us or for our relationship. And after hearing the stories of my buddies, who were also firefighters, I felt lucky that was something we never fought about. So, to meet someone else who I thought understood that was great. It was another reason why we got each other.

Clearly, I was wrong. Nothing was quite as it seemed.

I had days to think this over, to be hurt and angry. Why would she do this?

How could she do this? To her husband? To me?

Gianna knew I used to be married. She knew about Mia. She knew. But yet she had made me her… I don't even know what to call myself… the other guy?

She made me the other guy, without my knowledge or choosing.

A few days after I'd seen them, she called me, but I didn't answer for a couple of days. I almost felt bad when she showed concern over our lack of communication via voicemail. Eventually, I responded to her through text, telling her I was busy with work. She believed me, because until that point I never lied to her, never gave her a reason to not trust me.

It may sound crazy that my immediate reaction wasn't to be angry—not that I wasn't—and confront her for what she did, but I wanted to take my time and think through everything carefully. I was never one to lash out or be reactive, and I wanted to express myself clearly when we did talk.

I had to think things through before I spoke with her. I wanted to express how I'd been feeling and what was going through my mind.

Flashback:

"Hey, Honey." Gianna smiled at me as soon as I opened the door. "I can't stay too long; I have an appointment later today." She placed her hand on my cheek, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed me.

I grabbed the hand that was on my face. "Hey." She wasn't wearing her ring.

She raised her eyebrows. "Everything okay?"

I tried to smile. "Yeah."

She tilted her head. "Okay." She kissed my cheek and walked into the house, heading into the family room.

I closed the door, leaned against it, and took a deep breath. This had to be done. I took another breath before I dragged myself to where Gianna was.

"Hey, Gianna." I said as I closed the door and followed behind her.

She took her usual spot on the couch, and for just a split second I saw the life I had envisioned with her—something I thought we both wanted—but it was a future that never really had a chance at all.

I shook those fantasies from my head. It didn't matter. But it was odd to see how she could fit into my world so comfortably, knowing that we couldn't truly share a life together.

"Wanna get something delivered? We can cuddle and watch a movie." She smiled.

I sat in the chair across from her. I'm not really sure what look she saw on my face; her smile slowly disappeared. "Baby, are you sure you're okay?" She frowned. "Why are you sitting way over there?"

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. "We need to talk." I said.

"You're scaring me Lucas, what's going on?"

There was no need to beat around the bush now, it's not like it would do anyone any good.

I looked her in the eyes. "Are you married?"

Her eyes bulged, but she remained quiet.

The only thing that could be heard was the cog that turned in the clock, and as each second passed she seemed to shrink into herself.

"Gianna." I swallowed. "Are you married?"

She dropped her head down and shifted on the couch.

I blew out a breath and held my head in my hands.

"Lucas." Her voice was shaky. "I'm so sorry, it's not what you think is."

"Not what I think it is?" I could hear the tension in my voice. "Are. You. Married?"

She bit her lip, and unshed tears swam in her eyes. "Yes, but—"

"There is no but Gianna!" I abruptly stood from my chair. "Either you are, or you aren't!"

She filched back; tears ran down her cheeks.

I roughly raked my hands through my hair. "Why would you let this go on for so long? Why would you do this?"

"I'm so sorry, Lucas." She said just above a whisper. "I didn't mean for things to go this far." She sniffled. "I-I didn't know how to tell you." She stood up and walked towards me. "I—"

"Don't Gianna, stay where you are." I held my hand out.

She stopped. "I planned to ask him for a divorce." Her chin quivered. "I've been trying to figure out a way to tell him, and then I have Renata to think about. I know I'm wrong, but I—"

I cut her off. "You never intended on me finding out."

She wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"How could you do this to me? You know what I've been through. We've been together for six months and you—" I stopped and took a breath. "You've been married for a while now, haven't you?"

She nodded her head.

"So, this," I waved my finger between me and her, "meant nothing? I meant nothing to you?"

She shook her head. "No, no, don't say that." She choked back a sob. "I love you, Lucas."

"You love me?" I asked, disbelief evident in my tone.

"Yes." She croaked and took a step toward me.

I shook my head. "If you loved me, we wouldn't be having this conversation, Gianna."

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

I thought I would have more to say, but now it felt like it didn't matter. We would just go in circles. It would be insanity. There would never be a different outcome.

She was married. And nothing else mattered.

"I think you should go." I turned my head; I couldn't look at her.

"Lucas, please let me explain." I felt her hand on my arm.

I stepped back. "There's nothing to explain."

She put her hands on my face and turned my head, her gaze intense. "I love you so much, please let me make this right."

I shook my head, and more tears flooded down her cheeks.

I moved her hands from my face. "It's time for you to go, Gianna."

She threw herself at me and wrapped her arms around me. "I can fix it, I can make this right. Please give me a chance." She cried.

"Let go, Gianna."

"No." She pulled back and looked at me. "I will never let you go; I love you." She kissed me all over my face.

"STOP!" I grabbed her arms from around me and put some space between us. "Just stop."

She stared at me with a pained look on her face.

"Gianna, I'm asking you to leave, please." I whispered.

Her arms dropped, and she looked down.

She took a stuttered breath, grabbed her belongings, and headed to the front door.

I slowly trailed behind her.

She opened the door, but before she walked through, she turned around. She opened and closed her mouth a few times.

I shook my head.

Her shoulders slumped and she walked out of the door.

End flashback.

It was really hard for me to have to let go of someone I cared so deeply about when they were still tangible and alive.

She called and texted constantly; she even showed up at my house a few times. And when that didn't work, she would send emails and letters. I would like to say I never read any of them, but that would be a lie.

I knew when they filed for divorce. I knew when she got her own place. And I knew they finalized their divorce.

I ignored her as best as I could, but I really missed her. So, when she called one day, I answered. I didn't say anything; I just listened, and even though I hated to hear her cry, some part of me needed to hear her voice. I allowed myself to have that last moment before I would completely let go.

But then she was at the fire station, and even though she wasn't alone, she was all I saw. And she was still just as beautiful as the day she was when we first met.

All those feeling that I had tried to suppress resurfaced.

I tried to fight; I really did, but… I loved her.

I still do.

But would that ever be enough?

A/N: Thank you to everyone who put this story on their alerts and favorites…and for all the lovely reviews! Each one makes us smile.

So, what are your thoughts about Edward's list? How about Emmett? He's a hoot or no? What do you think about Egg Roll and Edward's talk? Lol

Now, that you have more of the story, how do you feel about Lucas? Gianna?

Okay… we are updating chapters 1-7, however, we decided not to post the revised chapter 1 until we finished the revised chapter 2; we didn't want to cause confusion to our readers. Chapters 1 and 2 are connected; so, the revised chapters 1 & 2 will be posted together next Monday, June 21st.

RECS: An Island In The Sun, by drotuno

The Secret Life of Bella Swan, by Nameless001

Undone, by GoldTwiHeart (WIP)