Somewhere To Begin Chapter 24, a twilight fanfic

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Chapter 24: Definitely Unexpected

Edward

"Are you okay back there?" I peeked at Jellybean in the rearview mirror.

She had been quiet the whole ride.

"Yes." She sighed as she looked out the window.

She wasn't too happy with me. We missed story time yesterday because I had to work. To be fair, if it had been the first time that happened, she probably wouldn't have been as upset with me, but unfortunately, it wasn't.

Renata and Aiden hadn't spent time together outside of school in some time.

Neither had Bella and I.

Not in school I mean, of course we don't spend time together in school, we did other stuff together with the kids outside of… my point is we haven't been us, our normal selves.

And I couldn't take it anymore, Renata either.

I had to do something.

This is something?

Yes, yes, it is. It's the best—only—idea I've had so far.

I guess I can't argue with you there.

I pulled into my parent's driveway, we got out of the truck and made our way inside.

I heard movement coming from the kitchen. I grabbed Jellybean's hand and followed the direction of the noise.

Ma was at the counter making tea; her back was to us.

I leaned against the archway, and Renata stood in front of me. We watched as Ma hummed and continued to make her tea.

I waited to see if Renata would say something, but she didn't.

"Hey Ma." I said.

She jumped and turned around, her hand on her chest. "You scared me."

"Sorry." I said as I walked toward her and kissed her cheek.

"It's fine." She patted me on the back. "What are you doing here?"

I ran my fingers through my hair and let out an unnecessary, nervous chuckle. "I can't just stop by for a visit?"

"Hmm." Ma tilted her head to the side, pausing for a few moments. "Of course, you can."

She was looking at me weirdly.

Or maybe it was all in my head.

Yes, it's all in your head.

"What?" I rocked on my feet. "I stop by all the time."

She frowned. "I never said you didn't."

"Right." I sniffled. "Is Dad home?"

"Yeah, he's in his office." She said as she leaned down and kissed Renata. "How is my favorite girl doing?"

"Fine." Renata blew out.

Ma frowned. "What's wrong?" She asked as she rubbed her back.

Renata pushed her face into Ma's stomach, not saying anything.

Ma wrapped her arm around Renata. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I miss Aiden." She mumbled; her face stayed in Ma's stomach.

"You miss Aiden?" Confusion evident in her tone. "Why do you miss Aiden?"

Renata looked up at Ma. "Cause—"

"I'm going to talk to Dad." I pointed behind me.

Ma nodded at me and then looked back to Renata. "Cause what?"

I walked out of the kitchen and toward his office, Renata's voice fading the further I got away. I would for sure have some explaining to do later.

I opened the office door. "Dad, I need to talk to you." I closed it behind me and stood in front of him.

He looked up at me but said nothing. He had his medical journal and paperwork scattered across his desk.

"It's important." I paced in front of his desk.

He watched as I moved from the fireplace to the bookshelf, and back a few times.

"Hi Dad, how are you? How has your day been?" He closed his journal. "Oh, I'm great thank you so much for asking. I've just been getting some work done. How are you Edward? Please have a seat." He gestured to the chair in front of him.

On my circuit back to his desk, I plopped down in the camel-colored leather chair. "How are you, Dad?"

"You know." He sighed. "Now that you ask, my back has been bothering me." He winced and placed his hand on his lower back, fighting a smile.

"Dad." I groaned. "I'm serious, I need to talk."

"Okay, okay." He sat up straighter and folded his hands, placing them on the desk. "What can I help you with?"

"Well." I leaned forward, putting my elbows on my knees. "It's about… um, it's about someone." I chewed the inside of my cheek.

"Okay." He drug the word out.

"It's about Bella." I mumbled.

He frowned. "It's about who?"

"Bella." I said a little louder, but still pretty low.

"I can't hear you, Son; I need you to speak up."

"Bella!" I widened my eyes and exclaimed. "It's about Bella."

"Whoa." He held his hands up. "You don't have to yell, besides." He smiled. "I heard you the first time."

I swear he acts like Emmett sometimes.

"Dad." I sighed heavily and crossed my arms.

"Stop pouting." He chuckled. "It was just a joke. I was lightening the mood. You need to relax." He blew out a breath through his nose. "So, what about Bella?"

I glanced down and rubbed the back of my neck. "Well, I don't know if you remember or not, but Bella and I did sorta kiss."

He gasped. "You and Bella kissed?"

I rolled my eyes. "I know you saw."

"Yeah, I did." He shook his head. "By the way, I'm sorry about that, Son. I wasn't spying on you, and I wasn't trying to ruin your moment. I was just getting the kids a snack."

"It's fine." I waved my hand. "Not like it made anything worse." I said sarcastically.

"Ha-ha." He rolled his eyes. "I said I was sorry."

I sniffed. "I'll decide if I forgive you later." I joked.

"Please do." He held his hands like he was praying and looked at me with sad eyes.

I shook my head. "You're crazy old man."

"Welp, that's what having two kids will do to you."

I narrowed my eyes.

"So." He blew out. "You and Bella kissed?"

"Yes."

"And now you need to talk?"

My shoulders slumped; it was a little sad. "Yes."

"What do you need to talk about, exactly?"

"I may have had a… revelation? An epiphany? Recognized something?" He looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Before you assume anything let me just preface this by saying, I'm nervous, just a little, maybe even hesitant, and I haven't done this in a while, it's like I'm a kid all over again, or like when you buy your first home, your excited, but nervous; it's a lot of responsibility and you have to be sure you want it or—"

"Edward." Dad said my name softly.

I inhaled. "Yeah, Dad?"

"You're rambling, Son."

"Oh." I bounced my leg "Right, rambling. I'll just get to the point."

He looked at me, waiting.

I took a deep breath. "I like Bella."

There, I finally said it out loud. I slumped back in my chair. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"Obviously." He gave a playful smile.

Seriously?

There was no surprise or shock on his face. He wasn't getting it.

"No." I shook my head and sat up in my chair. "I like, like Bella."

He had the same goofy smile on his face.

"Are you going to say anything?" I blinked at him.

"I'm happy you came you to that realization." He continued to smile at me.

My face scrunched up. "That's all you have to say?"

"Well." He puffed his cheeks out. "I don't think there is much to say, or that needs to be said."

"Not much to say?" I raised my eyebrows. "I admit to liking someone, really liking someone after everything, and you have nothing to say… not one thing?"

"Honestly, Edward, I don't mean to…" He paused. "Startle you with what I'm about to say but…" He trailed off, looking down at his desk.

"But?" I tapped my foot impatiently against the floor.

"How should I say this?" He mumbled to himself before he looked back to me. "This isn't as unforeseen…" He frowned. "Yes, unforeseen as you think it is. The idea of you liking Bella isn't jaw-dropping, so to speak."

"Oh, come on." The pitch of my voice raised. "So, you're going to act like you've just known this whole time."

"I had my theories." He shrugged his shoulders. "And you two kissed, which validated that theory, but that's beside the point. You figured out that you like, like Bella. What did you do after?"

So, he's just known this whole time?

"So, you're saying you knew I liked Bella?"

"Hmm." He hummed and slowly nodded his head.

Apparently, I'm the last to know that I liked someone… oh god, Emmett was right all along. I just threw up in my mouth a little. "Great." I mumbled to myself.

"Edward." Dad said loudly.

"Huh?"

"I said, now that you know you like Bella, what did you do?"

I roughly rubbed my hands over my face. "Nothing."

He jerked back and frowned. "Nothing?"

"Absolutely nothing." I muttered.

He scratched his cheek. "Why haven't you talked to her?"

"Dad." I moaned. "I told you I was… scared… a little… and she's been busy."

"Too busy to talk?"

"Yes… no." I sighed.

"So, talk to her."

"I can't." I struggled to maintain eye contact.

"Why?"

"Well." I squirmed in the chair. "The day after we kissed, we were supposed to take Egg Roll on his walk, and as usual we go together with the kids, but she canceled so I thought she wanted space because she acted weird the night we kissed and then the day after, so I gave her more space. Then work got busy, really busy." I sighed. "Ever since then we just haven't talked, we're not even doing the things we normally do, the walks, the library, lunch, everything, and let me tell you Renata's not happy about that."

"I want to make sure I heard you correctly." He rubbed his chin. "So, you think she's not talking to you, and avoiding you, so you're doing the same to her?"

He didn't have to make it sound so…. uncomplicated.

I moved my head from side to side. "If you want to reduce it to that I guess."

"Okay." He inhaled and nodded. "You said you were scared, right?"

"Yeah."

"Why? You and Bella have gotten to know each, been friends for a good amount of time now, so why are you nervous now?"

"Because… because." I blew out a breath. "Because now that I know I like her, that I want to pursue something with her, I don't know what to do."

"What do you want to do?"

I thought about that, really thought about that and while so many ideas of what I thought I should or could do ran through my mind, there was only one thing I really wanted for the time being.

"I want to talk to her, but without the awkwardness, like we used to."

"Then talk to her."

"It's not that simple."

"And why do you think that?"

"I don't know now how to tell her how I feel, or if I should, I mean." I chuckled humorlessly. "Look at my last relationship. I thought we planned a life together, I thought I knew her, thought we were happy, and we all know how that turned out."

"Bella is not Gianna, and you can't reason what you do or don't do based on your last relationship. That isn't fair to either of you."

"I know, I know." I closed my eyes and took a breath. "But Dad, what if I'm wrong? I've been wrong before. What if I make a mistake, or worse, she doesn't feel the same way, and mess up our friendship and then, by proxy, mess with the kids' relationship?" I wrinkled my brow. "Which leads me back to my original point. I don't know what to do." I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands. "I didn't plan this; I didn't plan on liking my friend as more than a friend."

"Seems to me like it's already messing with the kids' relationship." Dad shrugged. "But, what if you are wrong?"

"I don't know?" I shrugged. "I would like to think it wouldn't change anything, but that would be unlikely. I would do what I could so it wouldn't affect the kids, but I don't know if Bella and I would ever be the same."

"I guess I could have worded that better." Dad leaned back in his chair. "I meant what if Bella feels the same way, the way you feel about her? What if it's not a mistake? What if nothing gets messed up? What if the best thing about all of this was that you couldn't plan it?"

I opened and closed my mouth a few times. "I-I… I guess I didn't think about it that way."

He focused on me intently. "Edward, I know things with Gianna took a turn you weren't expecting, but look at how much you've grown. You're not the same man you were then. You've processed your feelings and thoughts. You and Gianna can actually be in the same room. Renata is herself again. Your business is flourishing, still, and now you're in the space of wanting to date. That's a lot of improvement, in a relatively short amount of time."

I frowned. Him saying it like that was the first time I really thought that maybe, just maybe, I had actually moved on with my life. "You're right, I guess."

"I know it may still be a hard concept for you to accept, but sometimes the best things in life, the things we don't know we want or need, aren't the things we can plan." He leaned toward me. "I can't act like I know what it's like to divorce, but you can't stifle yourself because of the fear of what could happen. I'm not saying you won't have moments of doubt or feel scared, but don't let the fear of the unknown or past experiences keep you from doing what you want."

The fear of the unknown and past experiences made me feel like having a plan was best.

Don't get me wrong, I hear what he's saying and, logically, can agree with him but…

Not plan something? Not have a plan of any kind

That idea seemed scary, unnatural, for me at least. I've had a lot of things go right in my life because I planned ahead… but I can admit not everything had gone according to plan.

Liking Bella, wanting something more than friendship was definitely unplanned, but it wasn't a bad thing.

I don't think. I hoped, really hoped.

Maybe Dad's right, maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't hurt to not have a plan.

Well… maybe a small one wouldn't hurt. I mean, we have to talk at some point, right? I have to have some idea of what I want to say.

I felt like I finally had some idea of what to do. I was still a nervous but making a move, but doing something was better than doing nothing at all. I hope.

"Maybe you're on to something."

"Don't overanalyze it, relax and see where it goes."

I couldn't help thinking about all the time we—the kids, Bella and I—spent together, whether planned or spontaneously. I always enjoyed it. And I never overanalyzed it then. Come to think about it, Bella got to know me when I really didn't think I knew myself. She was there when I had some pretty low points and she had been part of the reason I had some very high moments. I didn't overanalyze it then. Well, maybe not as much as I normally would.

"You're right, Dad. We need to talk."

"I know I'm right." He winked.

I shook my head. "Thanks for the talk."

"My pleasure." He smiled. "Now, please save yourself and Bella from this unnecessary, silent treatment, and call her." He gave me a pointed look. "Today."

"I will." I tried to fight a smile.

"Good." He smiled and opened his medical journal back up.

I got up from my seat and walked to the door, but paused. "Hey." He looked back up at me. "Why didn't you tell Ma?"

"Tell her what?" He raised his eyebrows.

I felt my face get warm. "That Bella and I kissed."

"How do you know I didn't tell her?" He crossed his arms.

I raised an eyebrow. She hadn't mentioned or hinted anything about it. If she knew, she would have. Well, I'm sure she'll have questions, lots of them, after her and Renata talk.

That'll be fun.

Dad blew out a breath. "Okay, you're right, I didn't tell her."

"Why?" I frowned. I didn't get it they told each other everything. There were no such things as secrets between those two.

He shrugged his shoulder. "It wasn't my business to tell."

"Oh." I blinked. "Well thanks—"

"And your mother already thought you had a crush. No need to tell her she was right, not yet anyway."

"Huh." I scratched my chin. "Really?"

"Yes." He nodded. "Really, we made you, and know you like the back of our hands." He looked back down. "It was pretty obvious, now go talk to Bella."

I shook my head and chuckled. Of course, it was obvious.

I made my way back toward Ma and Renata, but stopped.

I pulled my cell from my back pocket and scrolled to Bella's number, but hesitated.

Would she even pick up?

Does she want to talk to me?

I took a deep breath.

It's not like things could get any worse.

I pushed her number. Nothing happened.

I pushed her number again, but still nothing happened.

My phone froze.

Coincidence? Or was it a sign that I shouldn't call? Either way, I wasn't going to back out now.

I exited the call log and went back to Bella's number, but before I could push her number, my phone rang.

I quickly picked up the phone. "Hello."

STB

After we left my parents' house, which was very difficult to do, we swung back to the condo to pick up Egg Roll. As expected, I had to promise Ma I would thoroughly explain why the kids hadn't been spending time together. I told her it was because I was busy with work, but that wasn't a lie. It wasn't the entire truth. Of course, she didn't believe me, but I held her off. She instructed me to come by next week, when Renata was with Gianna so we could talk—in her words—freely.

It was embarrassing enough that I had to go to Dad to talk everything out. And even though I typically had no problem talking to Ma about… well, anything, I didn't want to discuss the… Bella issues I'd been having.

I know she loves me and just wants the best for me, but I'm not sure I want her to help in this area. I know she would do it with good intention, but I just didn't see myself getting out of that situation without some discomfort, and surprisingly, Emmett hadn't said anything to her yet. Now that she's curious, she may very well reach out to Emmett herself, and he would be more than happy to share the information he thought he had.

Family, you gotta love 'em, I guess.

It would be nice if she forgot about it, or got extremely busy. While that was unlikely, I was still hopeful. Miracles happen every day.

I pulled into the parking lot, took the first open space, and parked.

I got out of the truck and looked around, but I didn't see anyone. I opened Renata's door and helped her out. Then went to the passenger's side door and put the leash on Egg Roll.

We walked to our normal spot and then I saw them.

"Den!" Renata squealed and took off running.

Aiden turned around, and when he saw Renata, a smile took over his face. "Ren!" He jumped from the bench they were sitting on and ran toward her.

They collided into each other, wrapping their arms around each other as they fell to the grass, laughing.

Egg Roll barked—feeling left out—and pulled on the leash, trying to get to the kids.

I couldn't help but smile at them.

When I got close enough to them, I let go of Egg Roll. He circled around them, as they rolled around, still hugging.

Bella stood on one side of them and I stood on the other.

While the kids were having their moment of reuniting, we were having our own.

Only ours didn't include running, hugging, or laughing. That would have been nice, though.

Instead, we just looked at each other.

On the ride here, I thought about all the things I wanted to say to her. I missed our time together. Things have been off with me since we haven't been talking. I want to be more than friends. You're special to me.

But now that we're here, now that she's right in front of me, it's like my mind has gone blank. I can't do anything but look into her eyes, and hope that she would see what I wanted to say, what I was still scared to say.

Funny enough, she looked as conflicted as I felt.

"Hey." Bella tucked a piece of hair behind her hair, breaking out silence.

"Hey." I stuffed my hands in my jacket pocket.

"Thanks for meeting me, I know it was kind of last minute."

I shrugged. "It's no problem. Besides," I jerked my head in the kid's direction. They got up and were on the swings with Egg Roll between them. "I think they're more than happy."

"I would have to agree." Bella looked at them and smiled softly before she turned back to me. "Let's have a seat." She tilted her head toward the bench she and Aiden were sitting on moments ago.

We sat in silence, watching the kids, watching the other people at the park, watching the passing cars.

Come on, say something.

I know, I'm just… waiting for the right time.

The right time? This is the right time, she called you. Obviously, she wanted to talk.

I turned to Bella; she was looking in the opposite direction. For a few seconds, I stared at her profile, taking in her simple but elegant beauty. That was when it hit me.

I missed her, really missed her.

But it wasn't about her looks, it was her essence, her presence, her energy. I missed her.

Abruptly, she turned her head and looked at me. If I wasn't careful, I could get lost in her eyes.

"Bella."

"Edward."

We spoke over each other.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off." I rubbed the back of my neck.

She played with the sleeve of her jacket. "What were you going to say?"

We did it again.

Bella bit her bottom lip, and I chuckled nervously. "Why don't you go first?" I said.

"Okay." She inhaled and nodded. "No need to beat around the bush any longer." She mumbled. Even though I heard her, I think she said that more to herself than to me. But I completely agreed with her. I couldn't make small talk right now, even if I wanted to.

She turned her body to face me and took a deep breath. "We need to talk about the kiss."

"Yeah, we do." I leaned back and placed my elbow on the back of the bench.

"I think we can both agree that it was a little…" She paused, looking for the right word. "Unexpected."

I ran my fingers through my hair and nodded. "Maybe a little."

But I didn't not want it. It just took me a couple of days to figure that out.

I should have said that, but I didn't.

"Look." She sighed. "I'm having a hard time putting my thoughts into words, but what I know is I don't want us to keep doing this, not talking to each other, I don't like it." She shook her head.

"Yeah, me neither." I looked down at my hands. "Where you—Why did you…" I cut myself off. I didn't know if I wanted the answer to that question.

"What?" She scooted closer to me. "Ask me."

I shook my head.

She placed her hand on my knee. "Ask me." She said softly.

I looked back up at her. "Were you avoiding me?"

She blew out a breath and looked down. "Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"Yes," she whispered.

Even though it wasn't surprising, it didn't feel too good to hear. "Why?"

"Because… because I… well you-I." She sighed. "I don't really have a good explanation." Her shoulders sagged. "I was confused, and I didn't know how to face you." I saw her cheeks get a little flushed. "And I thought you were avoiding me too."

"What?" I frowned. "No way."

She raised her eyebrows at me. "So, you weren't avoiding me?"

"No."

She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Okay, okay." I sighed. "Maybe just a little, but only because I thought you were avoiding me first. You canceled on the walk the very next day."

Her eyes widened. "I had to work." The pitch of her voice raised.

"The whole time?" I gave her a pointed look.

She sucked her teeth and threw herself back on the bench, facing the kids.

We watched them play for a few moments. Aiden and Renata swung back and forth on the swings, laughing with each one trying to go higher than the other. Egg Roll sat in front of them, his head going back and forth with their swinging motions.

"Okay, fine." She mumbled. "You're right, I wasn't always busy with work."

"I know."

"I'm serious. I really had to work." She bumped her shoulder against mine. "And don't sound all high and mighty, you avoided me too, Mr. I'm swamped with work." She raised a single eyebrow at me.

"I did get swamped with work." I snorted a laugh through my nose before I sighed. "But I wasn't always busy with work." I echoed her same words.

"I know." She smirked at me.

It seemed while we were both actually busy at work, but not so busy we couldn't talk, we used work to makeourselves seem busier than what we actually were.

How mature.

"I told you why I avoided you, now you have to tell me why you avoided me." Bella said, looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

"I thought you wanted space." I shrugged. "And I didn't know what to say to you either."

She snorted. It sounded like a little baby pig. It was cute.

"God." She groaned. "Aren't we a pair?"

"What do you mean?"

"We sound like kids." She laughed.

Now, getting everything out in the open, I realized how silly we both sounded.

"Yeah." I chuckled. "I guess we do."

She shook her head and sighed. "I know my actions may have said differently, but I didn't want space, not really."

"Really?" I raised my brows at her.

She rolled her eyes. "At least, not this much space." She raked her fingers through her hair. "I, um, I-I missed you." She blushed.

My stomach twisted, but in a good way.

I grinned and wiggled my eyebrows. "Oh, yeah?"

She laughed and lightly slapped my arm. "Stop it."

I chuckled. "I missed you too."

"Yeah?"

"Definitely."

"Good." She grinned, and I grinned back at her.

I'm sure we looked crazy to anyone that passed by. Two adults sitting on a bench at the park, grinning at each other like loons.

Egg Roll barked and brought us out of our trance. We both looked over. The kids were fine; they were climbing on the monkey bars.

"So." Bella breathed out. I turned to look at her. "We have to promise not to do this ever again, not talk to each other I mean."

"I promise." I looked her in the eyes, so she would know that I meant it.

"Me too." She held my gaze.

"Your important to me, Bella. I don't want you to ever feel like you can't say anything to me."

Isn't that funny? I haven't heard you mention anything about wanting to be more than friends. Can't you tell her that?

I will. I'm just waiting for the right moment to present itself.

"It's funny you say that." She cleared her throat. "There's something I wanted to tell you, actually." She crossed her legs, and I saw her foot fidgeting.

My heart speed up. "What is it?"

She took a deep breath. "You're important to me too and I don't want to mess that up, mess us up, ever."

It was nice to know I meant something to her, but was she saying that us kissing messed that up?

Ask her!

I opened my mouth, but I couldn't make anything come out.

I didn't want to admit to anything if she didn't feel the same way. I didn't want to scare her off and have a repeat performance of what just happened.

That sucks. I wanted to, was ready to put it all out on the table, but maybe now wasn't the time for that.

"Same." I smiled despite how I felt. "I don't want to lose that either, so…" I held out my hand. "Friends?"

That could be—would be—enough, for now.

Her face scrunched up, and she jerked back, just slightly. "No, no, that's not what I was—"

"Daddy." Renata yelled.

I turned to look at her. "Yes, Sweetheart?"

"Me and Den are hungry. Can we get some lunch, together?"

I chuckled. "Sure, just give us a couple more minutes and then we can go."

I turned back to Bella. An expression passed over her face, one I couldn't place.

"Are you okay, Bella?" I frowned.

She shook her head, seeming to come out of her thoughts, and cleared her throat. "Yeah, I'm fine." She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Friends." She put her hand in mine and we shook on it.

At least I got my friend back.

A/N: Don't throw any rotten tomatoes at us, please and thank you. We know some of you may not be too happy with us right now but we're hoping you will continue to stick with us… because we are going somewhere.

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