Chapter 4 is up! The main news that I want to discuss is that Bato of the Water Tribe is playing Friday, October 7th! Yay! I looooove new episodes! I'm telling you guys, you HAVE to watch it!
TV's What If
Host: "Hi everyone, and I welcome you all to today's show of What If?! Well, the question for today is 'What might happen if the cast of Avatar was given energy-boost smoothies and left to do Weather Watch, live on Saturday-nite Live?'. Well, we're going to find out! Bob?" (motions to off-screen TV guy) "Can you get the smoothies?"
(large cart is pushed into view, differently–colored drinks on top)
"Perfect. Thanks, Bob." (grins and waves) "Now, Bob, can you get the green-screens?"
(several screens are wheeled in)
"OK, the every character from Avatar gets a green-screen and their very own smoothie, made courteously by Jean Baring." (sniffs and waves overat a middle-aged woman sitting in the audience) "I love you, Mom!" (sniffles) "OK! Cast members, take your smoothies and screens!" (everyone runs over and grabs one of each, Sokka and Zhao fighting over the pink-colored one)
Sokka: "Hey, that's MY smoothie! Go get your own!"
Zhao: "No way, ponytail boy! I claim the strawberry-flavored one!"
(both tugging at the drink when Aang runs up and tries to separate them)
Aang: "Come on, guys! Why don't you just split the smoothie?"
Zhao: "It's none of your business, baldie!" (knocks Sokka over and holds smoothie in air triumphantly) "Ha! I win!"
Host: (rolls eyes) "Idiots…now, ACTION!"
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Aang: (slurps smoothie thoughtfully while standing in front of green-screen) "OK…um, hi! I'm your host, Aang!" (mumbles under breath) "Oh, I stink at this kinda stuff…well, uh… tonight we should be experiencing some light showers, and uh…" (smoothie kicks in) "Massivethunderstormsyeah! Andearthquakes! Andvolcanoes! Andmeteorsthatfalloutoftheskyandblowuptheworld! Andandandanandandandand…"
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Katara: (standing in front of screen, smiling and drinking) "Ooh, I've always wanted to be a meteorologist! This is going to be so much fun." (smoothie's powers go to work) "OH MY GOSH! You know what I can do? THIS!" (does cartwheels) "Whooo! This is so much FUN!"
Sokka: "Katara, you're supposed to be doing the weather!"
Katara: "Right! Because I'm…" (throws chest out) "…WEATHER WOMAN!"
Sokka: (slaps himself in the face) "Ughhh…"
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Sokka: (turns around and looks at green-screen while sipping power-boost drink) "Soooo…uh…like Aang said…" (looks at crazed Avatar bouncing around excitedly) "…there are going to be some showers, and…" (smoothie takes effect while listening to Aang's hyperactive and ridiculously nutty weather reports) "OH MY GOSH! THE WORLD IS GOING TO BLOW UP? AAAGGGGHHHH!" (curls up in fetal position under nearest table and trembles) "Waaaaaaaa! Mommy! I want my mommy! I WANT MY MOMMY!"
Zhao: (snickers evilly and uses advantage of teenage boy's fragile condition) "Sorry, but Mommy's dead!"
Sokka: (bursts into tears because of Zhao's taunting and overwhelming smoothie-power) "WAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
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Zuko: (not looking very pleased about having to do the weather) "I don't care about what's it's like outside…"
(TV guy motions to him, threatening to strangle him if he doesn't do it)
Zuko: (sighs unhappily and scowls) "Fine. Today there is a sixty-percent chance of a thunderstorm…" (smoothie kicks in, Zuko can't stand still) "…what's going on? I can't control myself!" (starts jumping around while awkwardly trying to control himself) "WHAT? No! Stop! STOP!"
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Zhao: (strutting in front of green-screen and mumbling under breath) "Boy do I look good. I'm the best-looking weatherman ever to walk the planet!" (smoothie takes effect and Zhao starts singing and pumping arms) "Yeah! I feel good! Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh! I knew that I would! Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh…."
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Ozai: (taking the job as an opportunity to scare viewers everywhere) "Meteors are going to plummet down from the sky, and at the rate they're falling, they'll drill through your flimsy skulls as if they were made of wet toilet-paper!" (smoothie takes a toll, Ozai starts running around crazily) "Wheeeeeee! FUN! Yay meteors!"
Zuko: (still having a difficult time keeping himself to stand still while staring disdainfully at his father) "Oh my god. And I used to look up to that guy?"
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Iroh: (looking at audience while sipping smoothie) "Hi! Since my nephew is having some difficulties…" (glances at Zuko who is trying to hold his arms and legs in one place, instead they're flailing every which way) "…I shall do the weather for him." (power-boost and Iroh gets all distracted) "Ooh, look! Knee socks!" (rushes over to a multi-colored pair lying randomly on the floor, probably left over from a previous show) "Look how magnificently knitted they are!" (holding up socks, grinning from ear to ear)
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Aunt Wu: (stands in front of screen and slurps smoothie) "I don't need to guess what the weather will be like; I already know." (power-boost, Aunt Wu runs over to host and pokes arm) "WANNA KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TIME OF DAY YOU'RE GONNA DIE?" (dashes around madly with hands in the air) "WHEEEEEEEE!"
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Meng: "Ummmmm, today's going to be nice and cool…maybe nice enough to take Aang on a picnic…he…" (the Power of the Smoothie strikes again!) "AANG! AANG!" (tears over to where the hyper airbender is bouncing off the walls) "SEE ME? HEE!" (starts energetically racing around) "HI AANG!" (boing, boing) "AANG!" (boing) "DOING THE WEATHER IS FUN!" (boing boing boing)
Koko: (to Meng) "Ooh, wanna join the Aang Fan Club?"
Meng: (still hyperactively bouncing around, but now wearing a wide-eyed expression) "THERE"S A CLUB? YAAAAYYYYYYY!" (boing)
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Host: (beaming happily) "Well, everything's going quite well! For once…" (shifty eyes) "Sooooo, as long as things keep going the way they look, today might actually turn out to be a good show! No lawn gnomes, no nothing…" (screeching in background from tied up ceramic lawn ornaments) "We'll be checking up in an hour to see how everything's going…the smoothies' effects should be at their peak at that time, too…see you all in a little while!"
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An hour later…
Aang: (zooming across the set with unbelievable speed, still giving ridiculous weather reports) "Ohmygosh! There'sgonnabeatsunami! Andtheoceansaregonnadryup! Andthosemeteorsareheadingtowardtheearth! Andanuclearwar! And…"
Host: "Wars don't count as weather, sorry…"
Aang: (jumping around crazily) "OKthen! THere'saHUGEhurricaneYEAH! AndMt.Kapukuisgonnaeruptagain! Andeveryone'sgonnadie! Andandandand…"
Zuko in background: (desperately trying to stay still) "Will you SHUT UP ALREADY?"
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Katara: (has taken a towel, tied it around her neck, and is wearing spandex underwear over her outfit, with a big sign over her chest saying "Weather Woman") "I AM WEATHER WOMAN! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I SHALL SAVE YOU ALL WHEN IT COMES TO BAD WEATHER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" (seriously off her rocker) "LET THE POWER OF THE WEATHER WOMAN RULE THE WORLD! AHAHAHAHA!"
Host in background: (looking doubtful) "Maybe we gave her too much of that smoothie…?"
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Sokka: (hiding under table and rocking back and forth, still believing Aang's outrageously screwy weather reports) "We're gonna die! WE"RE GONNA DIE!"
Host in background: "Maybe we gave both of them too much smoothie…?"
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Zuko: (desperately trying to gain control of himself while floundering around frantically) "Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!"
Sokka: (still curled up) "MOMMMMMMYYYYYYY!"
Zuko: (on the verge of going insane) "SHUT UP!"
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Zhao: (finds a spork lying on the ground and chucks it at the emotionally disturbed and frenzied Zuko) "HEEEEEEEEE!" (misses, and Zuko goes running in the opposite direction)
Zuko: "STOP IT!"
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Ozai: (whizzing around frantically like practically everyone else) "Whoooo! Meteors!"
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Iroh: (picks up fallen spork and looks at it wonderingly) "Who would have thought of such a thing? A cross between a spoon and a fork? INGENIOUS!"
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Aunt Wu: (tearing around telling people very disturbing things about their futures) "In three years, YOUR FAMILY IS GOING TO BE DESTROYED BY AN EARTHQUAKE! And you!" (runs after an audience member who's obviously trying to stay away from her) "WANNA KNOW WHAT"S GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU AFTER YOUR CHILDREN ARE KILLED BY FALLING METEORS?"
Sokka: (hysterical) "AGGGGHHHHHH! SO THERE ARE GOING TO BE METEORS!"
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Meng: (hyperactively bouncing alongside Koko as both of them chant) "AANG! AANG!" (boing) "AANG! AANG!" (boing boing) "AANG!"
Koko: "Go Aangy!"
Meng: "This is so much fun!" (boing)
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Host: (staring at Sokka, who's cowering under the table, Iroh, who's wearing rainbow-colored knee socks and playing with a plastic spork, and the rest, who are all zooming around crazily) "Great! Today's show was a success! Well, hope you enjoyed today's episode! Next week, we'll be doing something a little different…so tune in next time, on TV's What If!"
Aang: (zips up) "WaitIhaveanannouncement!"
Host: (sighs) "Ugh, what is it?"
Aang: "BEWAREOFTHEFALLINGMETEORS!"
Sokka: (lets out a girly scream from under the table) "Meteors! METEORS!"
Host: (slaps face) "Just tune in next time, OK? I'm your host, and I hope you enjoyed today's show of What If!
Whew. Finished! That was a boozie to write- I got writer's block in the very middle of it! OK, I'd like to thank Blaze83 for her wonderful idea about the energy-boost smoothies, Monkeybait for the "knee-socks" idea AND the "severe storm" ideas (though I sort of improvised offa it), Eve (and Blaze83) for the sporks, and everyone else who contributed to the ideas. You guys are great! And for those who's incredibly fabulous ideas weren't used this time, I'll try to squeeze them in in some episode...
Oh, for Luna45, I PROMISE to use your idea in the future…toodles!