And on that note, Harry was getting rather fed up with his classes. Only half of his classes really interested him. He certainly wasn't going to jump up and down in the Great Hall and proclaim his love for Potions or History of Magic, anyway. He was glad that Lupin was a competant teacher... but Harry felt he was taking things too slowly. He didn't care if he knew the proper way to get a Grindylow to bugger off. He wanted to learn about proper defense techniques. He wanted to understand the deeper meaning to what seperated supposed dark magic from supposed 'light' magic. And calling it light magic was so wholly stupid in Harry's eyes.
"Magic itself shouldn't be classified like that. Doesn't it come down to the wizard casting the spell that determines how it's used?" Harry had once said, bringing the subject up with Tonks and Solieyu in the Nest. The conversation had lasted a few hours and, in the end, Harry thought he had gotten his friends to understand where he was coming from. He had even defended the Killing Curse. "Let's say a damned giant or something was coming to try and crush your face, alright? Would you throw a jelly-legs curse at it and hope it fell over, or would you want to stop it outright? There's a lot of things out there that would kill you at the drop of a hat, you know. I'm just saying - there's no sense in calling things Dark Arts when it all comes down to the situation..."
Arithmancy aside, (Harry had determined that he wasn't quite as good with numbers as he had originally hoped) he was also having a fairly easy time of his classwork. Charms came especially easy to him, though he had random issues with Transfiguration, depending on the mood he was in at the time... and how much sugar he was laced with.
Harry was also annoyed by the fact that he really had no place to test out the magic he was learning just from reading stuff he picked up in the library. He was quite irritated to find that conjured food - like the handy apple spell he had found ages ago - didn't really have any effect on his hunger. It seemed food created from nothingness also filled him with nothingness. It was a shame, since he had learned to conjure up a number of edible things before he had learned this bit of information.
Harry was starting to get more into offensive magic. Up to that point, he had mainly focused on defensive spells. Tonks had asked about this one time, and Harry had simply replied that if he couldn't keep himself safe, he wouldn't be doing any fighting back. He had to keep from getting hit if he wanted to return fire, after all. Most of the subjects Harry read about had been covered in one class or another, though. It was why he wanted to get into the Restricted Section so badly. There had to be more interesting reading material there.
Without realizing it, Harry had made his way to the Defense classroom and had been standing in front of it for a few minutes before he returned from his thoughts. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. A moment later, Lupin's voiced called out from inside. "Come in."
Harry pushed open the door and stepped into the empty room. Lupin was sitting at his desk, grading homework. He glanced up at Harry and, seeing who it was, set his quill down and smiled. "Harry! What brings you here today?"
Sighing, Harry walked up to the front of the class. "Professor," He began, rubbing at the back of his neck, "Have you had a chance to talk to Professor Dumbledore about, y'know, the Dementor fighting...?"
Lupin observed Harry briefly, then answered, "I have. But, as I've said, it's very advanced magic. You may not be able to learn it. Albus thinks it's alright for me to teach you the spell if you really want to, just know that it's difficult."
Harry nodded. "I know... But I can't keep blacking out around the stupid things. I've got to learn."
"Very well." Lupin said, getting to his feet and motioning for Harry to follow him. "After I spoke with Albus, I was able to find another Boggart. This one was Binns' office. I don't think he even realized. I've relocated it to a desk in my office..."
Lupin led Harry into his office at the top of the room's stairs. At the far end of the room, a faintly-shaking desk could be seen. Lupin shook his head as he watched it. "Makes it right difficult to grade papers on it, which is why I was doing it out there."
Harry could feel himself getting nervous and he tried to shove the feeling aside. He had to be strong for this. He couldn't let the effects of the Dementor - even a fake one - get to him. If he was to have any chance at repelling the creatures, he needed to be able to face one down without passing out first.
Leaning against the wall, Lupin watched Harry as the boy's eyes steeled over. "Now then, Harry," he began, getting the Ravenclaw's attention again, "The spell you're going to be learning is called the Patronus Charm. Very few wizards and witches can properly pull it off. Even I can only produce a vapor of sorts with it. The way it works is this; you need to think of something that makes you happy to use it. Remember something that made your life better, some special event that happened, a memory of the past... As long as it's a truly happy thought, it'll work."
"And will I also start flying and seeing pixies, Professor?" Harry asked wryly.
Rolling his eyes, Lupin continued, "Once you've got your memory, we can begin. The problem, of course, is holding on to that memory once the effects of the Dementor set in. As I'm sure you well know, they suck away all your happy thoughts, which is why the spell is perfected by so few. You've got to overcome the Dementor's power in order to fight them. Now, the incantation is 'Expecto Patronum' - got it?"
"Expecto Patronum." Harry repeated, nodding.
Lupin went over to a bag on his desk and pulled a rather large bar of Honeydukes' chocolate from inside. "I'm only willing to do this training in short bursts, you understand. Three times or so per lesson, depending on how you do. I'll give you some of this in-between 'rounds' to help get you feeling better. If I see you're visibly not recovering enough from the fake Dementor's effects, I reserve the right to end the lesson, understood?"
"Yes, Professor." Said Harry.
"Very well. Find your happy memory and let me know when you're ready to begin, alright?"
Harry shut his eyes. Happy thoughts? Harry didn't have very many of those. Living with the Dursleys certainly didn't make him happy. Having a murderer on his heels didn't, either. Snape would probably just as soon poison Harry than teach him. He had nearly killed his Aunt Marge. The only memories of his parents were what the Dementors had forced him to relive. Harry scowled - he needed less angst in his life.
Nearly five minutes later, Harry opened his eyes again, looking toward Lupin and nodding. Lupin, who had watched Harry carefully, nodded in return. The man felt a surge of sympathy towards the boy. Had it really taken that long just to find a single, decent memory to use?
"Alright, Harry... Are you ready? Wand out?" Lupin asked, moving towards his desk and levitating around to face Harry.
Drawing his wand, Harry nodded again. He knew what memory he was going to use. It was one of the few things in his life that had really meant something. A look of fierce determination crossed his face as Lupin threw open one of the lower doors on the desk. The Boggart, in Dementor shape, swept forward quickly.
It wasn't as easy as Harry had hoped. He had refrained from speaking to Lupin, keeping his mind focused like a laser on the memory he had chosen. But as soon as the door was opened, the memory had threatened to be torn from his mind. Harry grasped to keep it in place. He tried focusing his mind, but his mother's screams had started, which was a very real distraction for him. His vision started to blur.
'No... No, dammit!' He thought, desperately. 'I can't pass out! I can't lose the memory! I'm not going to look like an idiot in front of a friend of my parents...!'
Harry aimed his wand, his arm shaking violently as he forced himself to keep his balance. The Dementor had extended a bony arm towards him as it drew closer. That single gesture sucked all the resolve out of Harry's body. He dropped to one knee, clamping his hands over his ears. Somewhere far away, he heard Lupin's voice cry something out. And then,just as abruptly as it had started, the Dementor's effects stopped.
Lupin knelt down in front of the boy, who was panting rather heavily, and broke off a piece of the chocolate bar. "Eat. You stayed up longer than I expected you would, Harry."
Harry took the chocolate gratefully, popping a large bite of it into his mouth and chewing. A warm feeling washed over him immediately and, once he had finished with he, he muttered,"Couldn't even say the incantation, though..."
"I didn't expect you to. I told you, Harry, this is difficult work." Lupin said, placing a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder. "Finish the rest of that bit of chocolate off, compose yourself, and we'll try again, alright?"
Harry nodded and Lupin stood, walking over and leaning back on the desk. Harry ate the rest of the chocolate and, after getting his breathing back to normal, stood up as well. A moment later and his happy thought was firmly back in place. He did, however, take a few steps back from where he had started the last time. "Couldn't hurt to try." He said aloud.
Smiling, Lupin asked, "Are you ready?" When Harry nodded, he gave a countdown and threw the door open again.
Harry gritted his teeth as a freezing cold wind seemed to circle around him.
'Not this time...' He thought, narrowing his eyes as the false Dementor glided forth. 'I won't fall again...!'
And indeed he didn't. But he began wobbling so much in the end that Lupin had to call the Boggart off once more. Swearing darkly under his breath as Lupin approached with the chocolate again, Harry balled his hands into fists.
Lupin, seeming to sense what Harry needed to do, quickly transfigured a nearly chair into a giant pillow. Harry stalked over to it, gave it the hardest punch he could, then slung a half dozen curses into it. Panting slightly after he venting session was over with, he gave a weak smile to Lupin. "Sorry," He said. "Frustrated."
"Perfectly alright, Harry. Eat up." Lupin replied, breaking off another piece. "You did far better that time, though. Stand back a bit further and you might do even better. You just need to be quick about it. Right as I open the door, try casting the spell. Don't give the Boggart enough time to fully envelop you in the Dementor's power."
Harry nodded, quickly downing the bit of chocolate he was given. "Right."
Harry stood nearly at the back of Lupin's office, this time, wand aimed for where the Dementor's head would be. With a nod, Lupin once more opened the desk's door. And once more, the feeling of utter darkness seemed to try and crush Harry's spirit.
'If this is the best I can do, I'll never get anywhere...' He thought, mentally screaming. 'I won't be able to protect anyone from them, let alone myself! What if those things escape one day? What if they come for me? What if... what if they came for...'
Lupin tensed when he saw fury flash in Harry's eyes. His teeth bared, Harry let out an entirely feral growl as he yelled, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"
A burst of silver light erupted from the tip of his wand. It flew at the fake Dementor and, if a mist-like object could do such a thing, crashed into the creature's midsection. The Boggart Dementor let out a horrible, unearthly noise and backed away. And still, Harry kept his focus on the spell. The Dementor retreated back into its safe haven in the desk, the door slamming shut on its own. Once the Boggart had shut itself off from the room,Harry let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. And, at the same time, the silver light faded away.
Harry dropped down to his knees, his breathing shaky. But as Lupin approached, he heard the boy letting out a quiet, weak laugh. "Well done, Harry." Said the man as he knelt down in front of Harry again.
"Wasn't gonna let it get me three times in a row." Harry breathed.
"If I may ask, what kind of memory did you choose?" Lupin asked, handing the rest of the chocolate bar to Harry.
After eating a few bites of it, Harry said, "I... I'd rather not say."
Lupin nodded. "I understand. It's just I noticed you looking rather angry before you cast the spell."
Harry flushed slightly as he glanced up at Lupin. "Uh... yeah, well. Something got in the way of the memory, see... It was like... Oh, I don't even know how to explain it."
"It was like the Dementor was going to take away the source of the memory so that it never existed?" Lupin offered.
"Something like that." Harry murmured.
"You did very well for your first lesson, but I think that was enough for one day. You'll need the rest of the day to properly regain your strength. Let's schedule our next lesson for the same time next week. Is that alright with you?" Lupin said.
Harry nodded, slowly getting to his feet. "Yeah... yeah, s'fine with me. I really appreciate this, Professor."
"Not a problem, Harry. It's the least I could do, considering..." Said the Defense Professor.
Harry looked up at him questioningly, but Lupin had already walked past him, heading back out into the classroom. "I don't want you trying to use the spell against a real Dementor, Harry. There are too many roaming the grounds. Handling a lot of them is very different from handling a solitary one. You'll find that Dementors seldomly go off on their own.They are, such as it is, pack hunters."
"Don't worry." Harry said, following Lupin. "If I never saw another Dementor in my life, it'd be too soon. I just... want to be prepared. Just in case."
Sitting at his desk in the classroom, Lupin smiled up at Harry. "An admirable trait, that. Always good to be prepared for the worst. Being caught unawares and unprepared is a dangerous thing. Have you read much about Dementors?"
"A bit. Nothing I've read has ever said where they come from or how to kill them, though." Harry said.
"Probably because no one really knows." Said Lupin. "I'm not even sure it's possible to kill Dementors. The Patronus Charm merely drives them back."
"Best to live and escape than fight and die?"
"Something to that effect."
Harry sighed. "What if something happens to Azkaban one day, Professor? Did... did the Dementors escape during Voldemort's last reign?"
"They did." Lupin said, nodding. "They joined his side up until the end. The only reason they stay at Azkaban at all is because they're well fed there."
"Why travel across the whole of Great Britain when they can stay at home and get served, huh?"
Lupin chuckled. "Indeed. Now then, go on and get some rest. Even with the chocolate, you still look rather shaken."
"Yeah... that spell really sucks the strength out of you, doesn't it?"
"It does. Combined with the effects of the Dementors, it's a bit of a double-edged sword. But fortunately, the negative effects of the Patronus Charm lessen as you get a better handle on it. One week, Harry. Rest up until then."
"Thanks, Professor. I will." Said Harry, turning to leave. His legs still felt unstable. He didn't think he'd be heading for the Ravenclaw common room just yet. He really didn't feel like trying to get into the Nest. He'd probably collapse on the winding stairway and tumble down, breaking his neck.
And so, Harry decided that a trip down to the lake would be a good choice. He could relax out there and stay until it was time for the evening meal. But just as he opened the large double doors and stepped outside, he heard a soft voice say, "You alright?"
Turning his head, he saw Tonks leaning up against the outside of the school.
"Uh... yeah, I'm alright. ...Wait, why're you asking me how I am?" Harry asked.
"I was watching." Tonks said, tilting her head to look back at him.
"Wha... where?"
"Just outside the door to his office. I saw you do it... that was really impressive. ...Why did Lupin say you looked angry?"
Harry opened his mouth, paused, then glanced away. "Because I did, I guess. It's hard to explain."
"Yeah... heard that, too. Try anyway?"
"...I can't." Harry said, slipping his hands into the pocket of his jeans.
"Why not?" Tonks asked, turning to walk closer.
"It's embarassing." Harry muttered.
"Harry... you realize what we've been through together so far, right?"
"Of course I do."
"Then tell me. I swear I won't tell anyone. Not even Leon." Tonks said.
"Why's it so important you know, anyway?" Harry shot back, his voice harsher than he wanted it to be.
"...I wanna know what made you happy enough to cast the spell. And what made you angry about it." Tonks said, her voice quiet.
Harry closed his eyes and sighed. "Look... it's not important, alright? I just... got caught up in thinking about it. You know I overanalyze things. I just... got to thinking about Dementors getting loose and going after people. People I care about..."
"So your memory was about a person, then." Tonks said.
Harry winced, still looking off. "Not telling."
"Stingy." Tonks said, prodding Harry's shoulder.
"And what about you, you little eavesdropper?" Harry said, finally turning to look at Tonks. "How come you were spying on us, anyway?"
"I wasn't spying!" Tonks said. "I was just... um..."
"Yes?"
"Oh shut up! I wasn't spying! Just... uh... wanted to make sure it was nothing dangerous?"
"Not very convincing there, Nymmy."
"Don't call me Nymmy, dammit!"
"Then don't go spying on me!" Harry said, shooting Tonks a glare. "Changed my mind. I'm going back to the Nest."
"Oh no you aren't! You'll never make it up the stairs!" Tonks declared.
"Watch me!" Harry huffed, turning and stomping back into Hogwarts, Tonks hot on his heels.
"You're no Gryffindor, knock it off with the bravado, Harry!" Tonks said, catching up and grabbing onto the back of his robes. "You're not gonna go and tumble down stairs and. and break your neck or something in a fit of machismo!"
"Oh, gonna follow me now, too, huh?" Harry asked.
"Jolly right I am." Tonks said, glaring at the boy. "Why're you so bloody worked up over a simple question, anyway? This isn't like you! Just tell me what was going on inside your head!"
"I don't want anyone knowing what goes on in my head!" Harry said, returning the glare. "I don't want anyone to know what goes on in there!"
"Why?" Tonks cried. "Why's it so important that you keep it to yourself? What's so important that you can't tell me?"
Harry started to shoot back a reply, but stopped again and sighed. "Look... if you really wanna know, just... just get me to the damn Nest and I'll try and explain, alright? Will that make you happy?"
"Yes."
"Fine. Now help me up the ruddy stairs."
Tonks did so and the two walked in silence for awhile, Harry staring at the ground with glassy eyes and Tonks occasionally giving him worried looks. They were nearly to the hidden entrance to their tower when they heard the unmistakable sounds of arguing nearby. Arguing that, for the first time in awhile, wasn't coming from them. It sounded like it was coming from just around the corner past the entrance. The two Ravenclaws glanced at one another and headed for the source of all the racket. But just about the time they reached the corner, a sizzling, red bolt of energy flew past, slamming harmlessly into the wall.
"You think you're better than I am?" Roared somebody. "You can't dodge forever!"
"Can't I?" Came another, calmer voice. "I've been resting up for awhile. I daresay I could stand here and not get hit until midnight. How did you get into Ravenclaw?"
"Terry." Tonks and Harry muttered at the same time. The two peeked around the corner, intent on learning what was going on without interfering just yet. After all, if Terry Boot was going to get thoroughly beaten in the hall, they wanted front row seats. And from the sounds of the other guy, Solieyu was going to be the one doing the butt-kicking.
They didn't, however, count on one unknown factor. Harry and Tonks gave each other another look, this one of surprise, as they noticed a third person in the hallway. Her already large eyes looked even larger, if it were possible. She was standing somewhere between Terry and Solieyu, off to one side.
"Think Boot kissed Luna, too?" Harry asked in a whisper.
"Dunno. I know Leon is fond of her, though, even if he won't admit it." Tonks whispered back.
The
two saw Solieyu's head jerk to one side briefly and knew they had been
found out. His
enhanced hearing, Harry figured. But he did nothing else to acknowledge
they were there. Instead, he turned back to Terry, who had his wand out
and was somewhat hunched over.
Whatever had been going on seemed to have been going on for awhile.
"As I was saying... Keep away from her, Boot. You don't want me to counterattack. Because I'm stronger than you, I'm faster than you, I could certainly do more damage to you than you could do to me... And you don't want me as your enemy." Solieyu said, his voice dangerously cold.
"You aren't the boss of me, Reinhardt. Stop acting like you're so much better than me! I can snog whoever I bloody well feel like!" Terry yelled.
"Not when the recipient wants no part of it. Are you so hard up for a girlfriend that you'll just corner lone girls and try forcing them to do things against their will? That's a very stupid thing for a Ravenclaw to do. There's a word for that type of thing, you know. As I'm to understand, you also kissed my friend Tonks against her will, as well." Solieyu murmured.
"She liked it!" Terry sneered.
"From what I heard, Harry put you under an interesting illusion that you didn't take too well to. Would you care to see what it's like in real life? I know ways of making it possible." Solieyu said, ice in his voice.
"You wouldn't dare." Terry said, smirking at Solieyu.
"Wouldn't I?" Solieyu asked. "I'm very protective of my friends, Boot. And when someone I care about is being harassed, especially in such a physical manner, I get mad."
"What're you gonna do, wilt on me? You always look like you're gonna collapse!" Terry laughed. "What the hell could you possibly do to me?"
"Ten seconds." Harry whispered to Tonks.
"Five." Tonks replied, grinning.
"You're on." Harry said.
Solieyu shot forward quickly, something Terry obviously wasn't expecting. The other boy backpeddled and flung a random spell towards Solieyu. Solieyu ducked off to the side, but the spell caught and tore the arm of his robes. It also apparently nicked his skin, as a small smattering of blood hit the floor.
"Uh-oh." Harry said.
"Uh-oh?"
"Blood."
"...Uh-oh."
Solieyu came to a halt, turning to stare at the blood on the floor. He then raised his arm and inspected the cut he had received. Tentatively touching the injured area, he hissed and pulled away the blood-soaked tip of his finger. Harry couldn't see the look in his friend's eyes from where he was, but the expression on Luna Lovegood's face told him all he needed to know.
Harry nodded to Tonks and the two stepped out from around the corner, wands drawn and aimed at Terry. "Tonks, round up Luna and head for the hospital wing, would you? I need to have a little talk with Boot."
"Roger, captain!" Tonks replied, saluting Harry with a grin and bouncing over to Solieyu quickly. "Leon. LEON! Snap out of it, mate! C'mon, don't go showing poor Luna that side of you! Look at her, the poor girl's half scared to death!"
Solieyu shuddered violently and turned, his eyes glossed over and wide. He started back up the corridor towards Harry as Tonks went over to Luna. The two exchanged a few words then caught up to Solieyu.
"Keep his eyes off his arm." Harry murmured softly as the trio of Ravenclaws passed by him.
"Will do." Tonks said. "Good luck."
As Tonks, Luna, and Solieyu rounded the corner, Harry started towards Terry. "You just don't seem to learn, do you? I should have let Leon tear you apart for doing that again!" He growled.
"Playing the hero again, Potter?" Terry asked, sneering once more.
"Always." Harry shot back, his voice almost a hiss. "And you're going to come along with me to Dumbledore's office. NOW."
"And how do you plan on making me?" Terry asked, defiantly.
To that, Harry just smiled darkly.
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
Author's Notes: I diverged from my chapter plan already. Again. Oops. But I thought this ending would both provide an awful cliffhanger AND give me a good way to start chapter 12, so I hope nobody minds. Originally, things were going to be like this: Harry and Tonks walk in on Solieyu, already enraged and physically walloping on Terry. But then I figured Leon would only be acting like that if he had missed his potion. And since he's at Hogwarts again, Madam Pomfrey would have some measure of control over him in that regard. So no seeing psychotic vampires just yet!
And then there's the fun of what Harry's memory is. I'm sure it's no guess to anyone here what got Harry's fire going, so to speak!
Hopefully Chapter 12 will be out before the end of the month. Valentine's Day approacheth and, seeing as how that day is HORRIBLE for single folks like me, I'm sure I'll be able to generate enough emo-ness to provide motivation. The next chapter will get padded by the second half of this encounter and everything that happened after. And maybe what Harry's memory was. Plus it includes a trip to Hogsmeade, and seperate encounters with both Malfoy and Snape! See you then!