All I want is everything

by jjp91

It's for your own good, for your own protection.' She was tired of his selfsacrifices and his excuses. So she'd date the entire Slytherin house actually, only the guys. She'd handled Tom Riddle, so it'd be fine... till he came back DMGW

3. Chapter 3

'Ginny? Is that you?' The boy wonder himself and his unshakable side-kick flew up to greet her. 'Why are you on the roof?'

Dammit. He was going to have to save her again. She was DEFINETLY not going to let herself be saved, thank you very much!

'I felt like it. I mean, it's great to enjoy the view and all, you know.'

'How'd you get up here?' Harry had that infuriating grin on his face, the I-am-just-playing-along grin. Well fine, then.

'I was meeting Blaise Zambini up here, to erm, hang out.' She grinned, smirking at Harry's and Ron's expressions of shock.

'How are you going to get down?' Harry said.

'He's just gone to get something to drink, and I'll go down with him.' Ginny was making things up wildly. Next she'd say that they were having crazy animalistic kinky sex up here.

'What exactly were you doing?' Ron demanded.

'Having crazy wild ani… I mean, I told you already. We were just hanging out.'

'Alright then.' Harry shrugged, and he and the tomato-red Ron flew off.

'So, m'dear, just hanging out were we?' A laughing voice said from behind her.

A/N wow, thanks for the reviews! But you always know that you want to leave more! (I'm high on sugar right now, so don't mind me…)

Ginny slowly turned around to face the grinning Blaise Zambini. Dammit

'Hi Zambini.' She said cautiously.

'Hey Weaselette. Fancy seeing you up here. Still spying on the naked fatsos?'

'Not anymore, they've gotten boring.'

'Wise choice, Weaselette. Now, why did you lie to two-thirds of the wonder team?'

'Because I can't stand Harry.'

'And….'

'I didn't want to have to ask him to give me a lift down.'

'You are one strange creature, Weaselette. So do you want a lift down?'

'Yes.'

'That's nice. Where are you going to get one?'

Ginny narrowed her eyes. Why did EVERYTHING involving this boy have to be difficult?

'Perhaps you would be nice enough to give me a lift down.'

'Perhaps.'

Ginny stuck her hands into her pockets, then blinked in surprise. There was paper in one of them. She yanked it out, and recognised McGonagall's handwriting.

'You never read the note that Malfoy delivered, did you?' Zambini said wisely.

'Shut up.' Ginny said, opening it.

Miss Weasely,

Could you please meet me down in my office at 3 on Sunday? Thank you.

Professor McGonagall

'Maybe she's going to molest you.'

Ginny glared at the Slytherin.

'Didn't your mother ever teach you it's not polite to read things over people's shoulders?'

'Nope. She said just not to read over her shoulder.'

'What day is it?'

'Are you really that thick, Weaselette? It's Saturday.'

'Good.' Ginny calmly ignored his taunt and tried to grab his broom.

'Now that's not very nice, Weaselette. There's no need to steal my broom, I know you can't afford your own…'

'Shut up. You're getting me down.'

'I'm making you depressed? You're the one yelling at me constantly.'

'Are you always this annoying?'

'Nope, I'm normally ARGHH BLAISE, JUST DIE. Today must be one of my good days.' Zambini said cheerfully.

'Uhh, right. So can you give me a lift?'

'After you just called me annoying?'

'I never said you were, I implied it.'

'Well, fine, but you'd owe me.'

'Alright, alright. So now can you give me a lift?'

'No.'

'You just said you would!' Ginny was very close to tearing her hair off and strangling the handsome Slytherin.

'Nope, I just implied it.'

'ARGH!' Ginny was about to smack the Slytherin, but remembered he was her ride down.

'Why are you waving at me?' Zambini gestured to her raised hand.

'I was going to smack you, then decided against it.' Ginny replied, wondering why she hadn't smacked the idiot in the first place. Oh yes, he needed to give her a lift down.

'Well, as enthralling as this is, I said I'd meet that girl, I don't remember her name, oh she's going to be so upset, in about twenty minutes, so I can't stand about chatting all day. Would you like a lift down?'

'YES!' Ginny screeched.

'Okay, then. Hop on.'

Once they were down at the bottom, Blaise turned around and smirked at Ginny. 'You owe me, now.'

'Fine, fine.' Ginny climbed off the broom (it was a very good model, she could tell, but nothing compared to Harry's firebolt).

'Oh, and by the way, Pansy told me to tell you to meet her in Draco's room.' Blaise waved and flew off.

Ginny glared. So she COULD have smacked him and he would still have given her a lift down? ARRGHHH!

'You've finally arrived!' Pansy grinned as Ginny stomped into the room. 'I send Blaise for you AGES ago.'

'Well, I was stuck on the roof, thanks to ferret boy over there.' Ginny growled and flopped on the bed next to Pansy.

'Hey, not my fault you turned down the wonder team.' Malfoy said languidly, from his seat on his couch.

'Now, Ginny, why do you hate the boy-who-snogs-really-well?' Arabella asked interestedly. 'Not saying I DID!' She quickly added, looking at Malfoy nervously. She was curled up next to the blonde sex-god, reading.

'You better not have.' Malfoy glared at her.

So Ginny launched into her story, detailing his break-up with her at the Burrow the day after Fleur and Bill's wedding, his stupid excuses, and his small penis (only kidding).

'Hmm, what are you going to do about it?' Pansy asked.

'DO about what?' Blaise Zambini entered the room, rubbing his cheek. 'That girl smacks hard. She REALLY didn't like it that I forgot her name.'

'It was Susan.' Malfoy offered.

'Now you tell me, after my face has been brutally assaulted. Now what are we doing?'

'You're doing a goat.' Arabella offered.

'And you've done a ferret.' Zambini nodded towards the peroxide king.

'No, Blaise, that would be you. I don't go for rodents.' Arabella smiled sweetly.

'If I didn't love you, I would hate you.' Zambini growled and sat down on Arabella's other side.

'Now, I've called you all here…' Pansy began.

'To my dorm room, which is strange in itself.' Malfoy offered, getting himself whacked by Arabella's book.

'To declare that I officially hate Snape, Harry Potter, and turnips.' Pansy declared.

'That's nice.' Arabella replied. 'You're point is…'

'Well, we've finally enough people to carry out my most grand plan. The annoying Snape plan!'

'Pansy, what are you tripping on?' Zambini asked worriedly.

'NOTHING! I just got ANOTHER detention for getting caught snogging someone in a broom closet! It's just not FAIR anymore! He's SUPPOSED to favour us, remember. But does he? NO? So this is what I'm going to do, I've got a list of things that we are going to do in his class. And Ginny, if you help us, we'll help you annoy Potter.'

'Sounds like a plan.' Ginny said cheerfully, examining the bit of parchment.

Ways To Annoy People, namely Snape and Harry Potter

1.Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. Title all of your essays For sensual massage."
3. Specify that your potion ingredients are for potions
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. .
8. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
9. Sniffle incessantly.
10. When walking in front of victims, randomly stop in the middle of the hall and start screaming

11. Giggle whenever they turn around (to write on the board)

12. Smile benevolently during class and go, of course darling, of course

13. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
14. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
15. Declare your desk an independent nation, and sue your neighbours for violating your boarders.
16. Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
17. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
18. Practice making floo, memo, and disapperating noises
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense acronyms in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbours you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
41. Set alarms for random times.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to incessantly
46. Dress only in clothes coloured Hunters Orange.

49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated during class, wander randomly around the room

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY WIRE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only write in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
88. Reply to everything in an opera song
90.When he's waving his wand to put up the ingredients for the day, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

93. Ask the other students mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

'Pansy, the numbers don't add up correctly.' Blaise was the first to point out.

'And some of these don't make sense!' Arabella whined.

'I got it from one of the Mudbloods. Doesn't matter. We can cut out some bits, and or change them to suit our needs. This is going to be PERFECT!' Pansy squealed.

'You've gone mental.' Ginny offered.

'No. We're doing it, and this is FINAL!' Pansy squealed and twirled out of the room.

'Alright, who spiked her drink and thought it would be funny?' Malfoy complained as soon as the insane blonde was out of the room.

The plan, once discussed, wasn't as insane as it had sounded in the first place. Ginny, upon meeting with Professor McGonagall, had been transferred to Advanced Potions, which made it easier, and funnier, to carry out the list.

Harry wasn't speaking to Ginny, which was fine with her, and Ron treated her in careful disbelief. He was convinced that she was dating Zambini, which was fine by her. It just shoved the plan forward a bit more.

The first day of potions class, Snape entered to see Pansy Parkinson glaring at him.

'Miss Parkinson, kindly stop glaring at me and sit down in you assigned seat.' He had thought he was being very cutting and evil, making her sit next to the youngest Weasely spawn, but since the two girls were friends, his actions fell a bit short.

With a menacing glare, Snape recited his usual 'you'll all fail so go away' beginning of term speech, annoying Hermione to no end, as usual.

As soon as Snape turned around, Pansy began to hum softly. 'Hm hmmm hm hmhmhmhm Hmmmm hm hm hm hm hmmmmmmmmmm.'

Snape twitched, and looked around the classroom for the noise. Potter and his friends used to do that to him, ALL the time.

'Hm hmmm hm hmhmhmhm hm hm hm hm hm Hmmmm hm hmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmm.'

Ginny was finding it very hard not to laugh; in fact, she had to keep ducking behind their caldron to hide her expressions.

Zambini wasn't finding it any easier, he too had adopted Ginny's method, although he was quite a bit taller than her and found it harder to hide behind the caldron without endangering his life by setting himself on fire.

Arabella, who had moved up into the advanced potions class in her Second Year, had given up trying to do the potion and was sitting at her desk, filing her nails and chatting with Daphne Greengrass, who was doing a similar thing. Their potion was black, lumpy, and smelled like muggle perfume.

'POTTER!' Snape finally yelled. 'SHUT UP!'

Harry looked up, annoyed. 'It isn't ME professor!'

'DON'T LIE TO ME, BOY! THINK IT'S FUNNY, DO YOU? I THINK IT'S DAMN ANNOYING, AND I WON'T STAND FOR IT IN MY CLASS. OUT, OUT!'

'It isn't me, PROFESSOR!' Harry yelled right back, going into saviour-of-the-world-mode. 'You have no proof it's me, you can't just kick me out of class!'

'Fifty points from Gryffindor, Detention for you and Mr. Weasely.'

'I didn't do anything!' Ron yelled, outraged.

'Fifty points for yelling at a teacher.' Snape said snidely, and stormed out.

Ginny and Pansy exchanged hi-fives.