A/N: Here is a chapter all on Inuyasha's funnies. I got EVERYTHING he says off of the "Comedy Now" channel and decided it would be funny to think of Inuyasha saying things like this. ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Inuyasha or any of the other characters OR the comody presented in this chapter!

Chapter 4

Inuyasha's Funnies

"My car's worth about 2 bucks. It's worth about 2 bucks when I put gas in it. My car is a piece of shit.

"One day when I was driving my car, I hit a snow bank, but it wasn't my fault, it was a drifting snow bank. Anyway, my bumper fell off and I was thinking 'Oh shit, my bumper fell off and that has my license plate on it'. What do I do? I pick up my bumper, throw it in the back seat and keep driving. Later, a cop pulls me over and he asks 'Can I see your license and registration please sir?' So what do I do? I get out of my car, open the back door and show him my bumper with my license plate on it. He says ' Do you think that's funny sir?' and I said ' Funny haha or funny stupid?'

"So, I'm standing in front of the judge, with cuffs on my wrists and a hundred eyes just staring at me. The judge asks 'How do you plead?' and I ask 'Plead as in beg or plead as in stating the obvious?'

"So, now, I'm in a jail cell,in a stupid striped outfit and my new cell mate who's like 6'8 and likes em' white and skinny, asks 'What are you in for?' and I asked 'In as in the cell or in as in my face being squashed in?'

"So I'm in confined mental care, with a brick up my ass and I get a call from my mechanic who says that he couldn't find anything wrong with my car. I think he's nuts because there's everything wrong with my car.

"A couple days later I go to pick up my car and I'm driving home when I get a call from my mechanic saying that I have a bomb on my car and if I drive under 50 mph it'll blow. Now I'm getting a little worried because my car doesn't go over 50. I call my friend Larry who turns out has been sleeping in my trunk the whole time to lend me a hand. What does he do? He opens my trunk, climbs over the roof of my car, pushes down the window on the passenger side, grabs hold of the roof and flings himself through the window. All this because he wanted to imitate a NASCAR driver. I told him later that he was on the wrong side of the car. That crushed his dreams, it crushed them so hard.

"So anyway, I'm asking him what the hell we should do and he says to bail. Now I'm just like 'Well fuck that' and we end up driving towards a 50 foot gap in the road. Now Larry's just like 'hey man, were, like, driving towards a 50 foot gap in the road. We're gonna have to jump it'. I'm just like 'That ain't a gap, that's just a REALLY big pot hole. We'll make it!

"So we jump it. And... we missed it. And somehow, we survived it.

"So I'm sitting in confined mental care, again, with ash fault in my forehead, when I get a call from my new mechanic and he's all like 'Damn man, with a car like yours, your lucky you didn't get bombed'.

At that point everybody laughed.

"There was this time when I went skiing with my friend Larry, who you all should all know quite well by now. Anyway, we went to the Merfit hill and I thought a Merfit was a small, furry mammal. I thought we were gonna go up and feed the Merfits, but no.

"So Larry and I go up on the ski lift and I'm looking around for the Merfits. I see nothing but snow. Lots and lots of snow. We get off the ski lift and start going down this huge-ass hill. I would have been fine if it weren't for the ski jump in my way. Now, if that was the only jump I wouldn't be where I am now, which just so happens to be... confined mental care.

"Now you know what a 90' arch looks like? If not, imagine a rainbow. Anyway, there was a second jump right after the first and I just happened to not miss it and during the amount of time I had air under my feet I managed to shout 'STEVE YOU BAS-!' Now, I've never called anyone a 'bas' before but I was sorta cut off by plowing into the third mound of snow. So like you already know, I'm in confined mental care, with a ski up my ass. And like you know, Larry is no longer my friend".

"Now you know what a safety pin is, right? Well, I have learned not to trust anything with the word 'safety' in it. If it says it's safe then I guarantee that it'll find some way to deceive you. Like for instance there was a play I was in my where my pants had no zipper so they were held together with a 'safety' pin. I was nervous because that pin was right in front of my dink. Well, half way through the play that little pin decided to spring open so I ended up saying: 'God bless us- AAHHH! THERE'S A PIN IN MY DINK!

"After the play was over this old lady walks up to me and asks why I started yelling about my dink. I said "Well lady, you would too if you all of the sudden had a pin in your dink!"

Well, yea... that's the end of another one of my stupid chappies but hey, if you guys like it, that's what matters. I personally think it sucked. BTW, I got a PM flame the other day so just to warn you...I you flame me I'll flame you right back. If you don't have a story then I'll put up your review/PM and see what other, more polite people have to say 'bout it. Won't just yet. This is just a warning.

Just to let you know, I'm not gonna list my reviewers at the bottom of the chappies anymore. Waste-of-space if you know what I mean. So yea... But I appriciate your reviews all the same, just no roomis all.

Ja Ne! keep reviewing!