Eᴘɪsᴏᴅᴇ: Pʀᴇ Sᴇᴀsᴏɴ 1
My office felt colder than usual when I returned from my trip, but I suspected that it was mostly due to the lack of the warm BAU team's presence. It was difficult for me to concentrate on anything whilst Hotch's offer repeated in my mind and I found myself mentally making a pros and cons list as I worked. There were so many factors to consider. In order to avoid any external influence I was careful to ensure that I made the decision alone, hesitating from discussing it with anyone after Ricky.
Following my brief break away from Interpol, it seemed as if I was even more swamped with work than when I left. It wasn't long before I was feeling the stress of being spread too thinly between numerous teams. Requests for assistance from each of them mounted up around me and it became a struggle to suitably prioritise them.
As I busied myself with organising a list, a new task flashed up on my screen that made my blood chill. Etienne Vidal had submitted a request for my individual support with researching a suspect list, insisting in the notes that having my undivided attention would have a substantial benefit to this case.
Much to my disdain, I knew that it was only a matter of time before Shepard approved this with the perspective of improving our working relationship. I pushed my hair out of my face to massage my temples. Mentally, I was attempting to convince myself that I could manage another encounter with Vidal.
Before I'd even realised what I was doing, I found myself striding out of my office clutching a few files to my chest and decided to take myself to get a cup of herbal tea from a nearby café.
I felt immediately clearer the moment that I stepped out of the Interpol headquarters. The fresh air flowed through my loose hair, rejuvenating my worn down spirit. The tightly packed streets of Lyon were a welcome sight and I was thankful to at least be blessed with living in such a beautiful, historical city.
Opening up the files to flick through the information inside as I walked, I hoped that my picturesque surroundings might give me a fresh perspective. Even once I had settled within the charming café, I lingered for a while as I waited to feel ready to return to my desk.
Eventually, I mustered up the courage to begin strolling back in the direction of the office. I had decided not to overstay my welcome, leaving with my lovingly made hot drink in a takeaway cup and lost myself in documents to distract from the rising feeling of anxiety in my chest. I was completely enthralled in the files as I walked the halls of the building on autopilot, causing me not to notice the voice calling my name in a thick French accent until it was too late.
"My, my, Alice. I hope that you're not trying to avoid me."
The absence of formalities caused my stomach to lurch with recognition and I paused on the spot in horror as Vidal blocked my path. When I finally pulled my nose from the papers, I realised that I had been unfortunate enough to be caught in one of the least used hallways in the office.
The only rooms here were disused offices which had been utilised as storage for cold cases, decreasing it's foot traffic to practically nothing. I had grown accustomed to taking this longer route back to my own space in order to avoid the rest of my team. However, today this plan had backfired, instead meaning that we would be highly unlikely to be interrupted.
"Oh. my apologies, Vidal. I was lost in work." I answered with a forced smile,
Unwilling to engage in any further conversation I moved to pass him, but he immediately shifted himself to block me from leaving.
"You are so dedicated, ma poupée. It is admirable, but certainly too much for you." He drawled, making no effort to hide the way that his gaze explored my entire body and his smile afterward made my skin crawl.
"I fear that you may have missed my request on your break, but Shepard has agreed for me to borrow your skills. It will allow you to relax for a while with only one case, and with me." He explained confidently.
Even with all of the experience of his arrogance, I remained shocked by how genuinely he seemed to believe that he was doing me a favour by trapping me into working alongside him.
"Ah, I hadn't seen it yet." I admitted, attempting to contain my disappointment at this revelation so that I didn't anger him. "Let me just finish the task that I'm on and I'll find you when I'm done." I instructed as I strained to keep the nerves from my smile, but it was obvious that he had no intention of allowing me to move yet.
"Come on, Alice. You don't need to pretend to worry about the others. I should be your only priority." He insisted, stepping closer to me again and in my efforts to regain some personal space, I ended up trapped between him and the wall. "I know that you have been spending more time with your FBI team recently, but you wouldn't ever forget about me, would you ma chérie?" He asked, his voice slipping lower whilst his expression grew painfully serious.
Out of an overpowering feeling of intimidation, I shook my head vigorously in response. Vidal only seemed encouraged by his effect on me, smirking arrogantly as his face neared mine and I felt my hands begin to shake with nerves. I prayed for anyone to notice us, as I felt too paralysed with fear to do anything to stop him, but the hallway remained silently empty.
"Well, I do worry. You seem to be working with them more and more frequently. I would imagine that you're getting to know each other very well. You were rudely defensive of that one young man during our consultation call." He suggested, thinning his eyes at me suspiciously.
The reminder of my outburst in front of the BAU team caused me to cringe. His words were alarmingly accusatory and I couldn't deny the feeling that he saw himself as entitled to the details of my life, specifically my love life.
A loud sound caused me to whimper as he pounded his hand against the wall behind me to frighten me, shifting to lean his weight on the surface so that he could confine me in position beneath him.
"There wouldn't be anything going on between you and this Dr Reid that I should know about. Would there, Alice?" He questioned, the subtlety of his temper failing to escape my notice and I could hardly breathe from the intensity of his stare. "You know how I detest dishonesty."
"No." I whispered hurriedly, my voice shaking from stress as any sense of control rapidly dissolved into anxiety.
From my years of study I understood the effect that past trauma had on our natural fight or flight instincts, but experiencing it first hand gave me a level of insight that was frankly horrifying. I willed myself to confront him, to strike him out of my space with the power that my aunt had always encouraged me to own, or even to simply run away, but I had no control against my natural reaction, which was to freeze.
"That's a good girl." He breathed, a wicked smile filling his lips as he revelled in my obedience. Much to my terror, he leaned his face suffocatingly close to me and I felt like a caged animal under his gaze. "I don't know what I would do if you betrayed me like that. You're too special to belong to anyone else." He soothed, so deep in his delusion that he was flattering me that it made him completely oblivious to my disgust.
My entire stomach felt as if it might literally drop out of my body as he reached out to push my hair behind my ear, his hand lingering against my cheek nauseatingly. He bit his lip in a way that he must have believed to be seductive and I realised with a new level of panic that he was inching closer, as if he intended to kiss me. My mind spun with a million thoughts as I urged myself to escape, but I couldn't break out of the survival instinct that held me in place.
"Vidal! I've been looking for you everywhere."
Someone called out at the last possible moment before his lips touched mine and my breath caught in my throat. He seemed incredibly aggravated by the intrusion, taking a moment to compose himself before he finally stepped out of my space. His posture was still as he turned around to address the source of the voice.
"Prentiss. My apologies. I'm afraid that I am rather caught up with assisting Alice at the moment." He drawled with a polite smile, clearly not even slightly flustered by being caught in the act.
The absolute control in his demeanour was especially chilling. It was an ability that I had seen frequently in the types of people that I assisted in catching for a living, allowing me to understand precisely how dangerous he was capable of being. I could barely think straight as I stared over at Emily who was standing at the far end of the hall.
"Yes. I can see that." She answered curtly.
It was clear that she had no intention of allowing him to brush this encounter off as she strolled closer to get a better view of the situation. I jumped as I felt one of Vidal's hands squeeze my arm painfully tight, silently warning me to play along with his ruse.
"Can this wait until later, Madame?" He enquired, the air of calm that he had previously possessed already slipping as he spoke and whilst his gaze was distracted by her, I risked meeting her eyes to communicate a desperate plea for her help.
"No. Actually, it can't." Emily insisted, maintaining an authoritative tone as she thinned her eyes at him and I could have burst from the relief of confirming that she had noticed my distress.
"You have an urgent call waiting and I'm afraid that I need Agent Hawthorne's assistance for myself." She added, turning her attention to me with concern that was subtle enough to escape Vidal's notice.
Without any concern for him noticing her actions, she ushered me to come to her. I wasted no time in removing myself from his grip, rushing over to meet her with my eyes glued to the floor nervously. Even so, I could feel her fixing him with a stern glare, before she fell into step with me.
We walked in silence with her positioned at my side in a manner that would prevent anyone else from reaching me and she remained this way every single step back to my office.
As I stepped inside, she hesitated in the doorway to give me the chance to regain some personal space. Whilst I did this she continued to protect me, aligning herself so that entry to the room would be impossible for anyone else.
"I actually don't have anything that I need you for. I just wanted to make sure that you're okay. If there's anything that I could do to-"
"I'm fine." I answered abruptly, keen for this situation to be over as quickly as possible and Emily studied me sympathetically. "Thank you for checking on me, but I can handle it from here." I added, subtly reassuring her that I would take action to protect myself if it was needed.
"I know that you can. If you change your mind, my phone is always on me." She suggested with a caring smile.
After a few moments of silence, she reluctantly left the room. The moment that she departed, I closed the door behind her and moved furniture in front of it to prevent it from being easily opened again.
Tears of shock rolled down my cheeks as I felt my entire body shaking and I had to wrap my arms around myself to calm my anxiety. It was a method that I had been taught to use in triggering situations, but even knowing that I was barricaded in this room, I couldn't convince myself to feel safe.
In the depths of my despair, I became aware of the only logical next step for my life. I opened my emails and began drafting a letter of acceptance to Hotch that ended with a simple question.
When can I start?
- O - O - O - O - O -
Emerging from my flight at the Virginia airport felt completely different this time. Despite getting to know it well from the numerous recent visits that I'd made over the past six weeks to get things organised, I was still excited to see it again. It was surreal to inform security that I was actually emigrating instead of visiting and I strolled out into the bright open space of arrivals with a sense of wonder.
Everything felt larger and grander, as if being seen through new eyes. I suspected that viewing it as a new start had a significant effect on my perception. There was even a relaxing scent in the air, something that lured me toward the exit with a feeling of hope and it was as if the strain of the past was melting away with every step that I took.
I could hardly believe my eyes when I noticed that instead of just Penelope waiting for me as we'd agreed, there was an embarrassingly large welcome sign covered in glitter, pom poms and complete with tiny flashing lights. It was being waved by her, Morgan, JJ and a bashful looking Spencer.
"Penelope! You are the absolute worst at no fuss!" I groaned as I reached her and she threw the part of the banner that she had been holding at Morgan so that she could embrace me tightly.
"I don't care! I wanted to make sure that your new life here starts on the right foot." She excused as she squeezed the life out of me and the others busied themselves with packing away the banner as I blushed furiously at them over her shoulder. "I can't believe the day is finally here. I'm so excited! Oh, guys, we almost forgot." She enthused as she released me to turn back to the group and I glanced nervously at them as she made some insistent gestures.
"Welcome to America!"
The other three were completely out of sync in their half hearted cheer, with Penelope contributing the loudest and most dramatic voice, whilst I smiled at them with burning cheeks.
"You're all very sweet. Thank you." I muttered gratefully, wishing that Penelope had at least given me enough of a heads up to wear something less tattered than my moving clothes, which weren't what I would have chosen for spending time in anyone else's company than hers.
Thanks to all of my planning visits, which allowed me to leave cases in storage at Ricky's new place, combined with the fact that he had graciously accepted the boxes of possessions that I shipped to him in advance, I had hardly anything with me. There was no clothing in my flight bag, leaving me with only the white, off the shoulder blouse and ripped denim shorts that I was wearing and the few personal items that I'd needed to take care of myself for the last couple of weeks in France.
Penelope looped her arm through mine as we all moved toward the exit and I had the sensation that the surprises weren't over just yet.
"So, we'll start by collecting your stuff and then help you to get settled at the new place." She announced, already wrapped up in the joy of the day, oblivious to how questioning my gaze was.
"When you say we, you still mean the two of us as we planned, right?" I enquired suspiciously, but the way that she chewed her lip as she considered how to explain herself gave her away.
"Please tell me that she hasn't already roped all of you into this? I'm sure you have better ways to spend your days off than carrying my stuff around." I gasped, glancing between the three other members of our group in horror, only to be met with amused smiles at my outrage.
"You got a moving truck booked?" Morgan interrogated, crossing his arms at me as if he was already prepared for my protests, but I could only shake my head cluelessly. "Well, it just so happens that I have one on loan from a friend for the day. You already know that I'm not about to let my baby girl spend her day doing a hundred trips in the car, when I can get this done in one. Just let it go, Poppins." He asserted, glancing over at Penelope with a conspiratorial smile and I looked to JJ and Spencer in a silent plea for help.
"What kind of team would allow their newest member to struggle?" JJ asked, her kind nature seeping into her words. "You've got enough to worry about with a move this big. Let us help you to do this at least." She added, smiling at me warmly and Spencer cleared his throat to gain my attention.
"You'd also be wrong in the assumption that we have anything better to do." He shrugged comically, causing Morgan to frown at him in blatant disapproval.
"Hey. Speak for yourself, kid!" He remarked, knocking Spencer's arm slightly in the kind of manner that an older brother would to annoy their younger sibling. "I see you people enough at work. I definitely have other things to do than follow you around on my weekends, too. I'm just here to help out a friend."
"Wait. Does that include me?" Penelope stopped in her tracks, causing a collision amongst all of us as she faced down Morgan with a heavy expression of offence.
"You already know that it doesn't, Sweetness. I can never see enough of you." He crooned, earning a pleased smile from her before he turned back to me. "So, where's our first stop, new girl?"
"Well, my cousin is working today, but he's arranged for his housemate to let me in to collect my things. Here's the address."
- O - O - O - O - O -
"Ally. Please tell me that's not a ladder up to your bed?" Penelope questioned with a blatant disbelief and I chuckled as I followed her into my new studio, carrying a case full of clothing up the stairs.
"I thought you'd like that. It's quirky." I remarked as I dragged the case inside behind her, catching her glancing around at my home.
The place was remarkably small, almost feeling full with just the two of us inside. I had to shift awkwardly as I tried to get past her. This had been the main reason for my reluctance about the team assisting us with the move, as I knew that we would be likely to be tripping over each other, rather than benefiting from their help. Judging from Penelope's reaction, I was already dreading the others coming up from the van.
"It certainly is. It's just so small." She commented, looking over at me with concern and I shrugged in response. "I know that you'll be the only one living here, but I'm worried that you'll get claustrophobic. I mean, this place is like a bunk bed that grew up to identify as a studio." She clarified, wanting to ensure that she wasn't coming across as judgmental, but she didn't need to worry as I chuckled in agreement.
"You could always stay with me until you find somewhere. I'll even help you look for a place. It'll be like a constant sleepover party!" She added enthusiastically, already seeming to get lost in the excitement of this concept.
"As much fun as that sounds, you don't need to worry. It's only temporary." I admitted, causing her to furrow her brows in concern. It was obvious that she was worrying I had some secret plans to leave her again soon.
"I don't have a long term contract for this place. Ricky recommended the owner as someone that he usually rents holiday homes like this from. I've got this place until the end of the month to give me a chance to get to know the area better, figure out what kind of place I'm really looking for." I presented my plan, allowing Penelope to drop her shoulders in relief.
It was difficult to differentiate whether she was more appreciative of the revelation that I wouldn't be leaving her, or that I wasn't planning to live here for long. Either way, my explanation seemed to have put her mind at ease.
"Well, that's a good thing. Because this place is not up to standard for a proper tenancy." Morgan announced as he carried the heaviest box inside and though I scurried to get out of his way, Penelope seemed quite content to allow him to squeeze past her. "I'm gonna give your locks a proper check before I leave. They're looking a little too old for my liking." He added as he dropped the box, turning to examine the door with a sceptical expression, even from across the room.
"Hey. As the person with the most experience busting them open, I'll trust your opinion on locks." I teased, earning a cheeky smile before Morgan headed back out to grab some more stuff, taking Penelope with him.
After their comments, I took another look at the place and couldn't understand their concern. It was already substantially nicer than the miserable flat that I'd rented in France, even if it was smaller. Sure, it was a tight squeeze to navigate, but it had all of the essentials. Unfortunately, most of them were contained within the same four walls, but I just thought of it as cosy.
The kitchen was simply a couple of cupboards along the side of the room where the dimensions more closely resembled those of a hallway than a living space. There was a sofa pushed up against the end of the cabinets to almost create a lounge and above it was a platform with a mattress which I felt gave the whole place a treehouse vibe. Lastly, there was a separate small bathroom and some stairs at the back of the studio that led to a rooftop that could almost be described as a balcony. It certainly wasn't glamorous by any stretch of the imagination, but it would give me a place to stay.
JJ entered the room struggling with a large box and I rushed over to take it from her before she hurt herself.
"This has got to be the third box labelled books so far, Alice. I'm seriously getting worried about you." She chuckled playfully, looking around the place with interest during the time that I found a surface to dump the box. "Seriously. How many books do you need?" She asked with a warm sparkle in her eyes and before I could think of an excuse for my addiction, Spencer made his way inside.
"Comparatively, Alice's collection isn't especially unreasonable. In the middle ages, the purchasing of multiple books was considered to be a hobby that was suitable exclusively for wealthy individuals." He launched into defending me without a second thought and I was glad to have his support to push aside the embarrassment that I was feeling. "In the present day, the largest collection of books belongs to the Library of Congress, which houses more than 170 million items."
"Wow. The dream." I breathed, for a moment losing myself in the fantasy of being able to own a library of my own, until I was distracted by JJ looking between Spencer and I with a suspicious smile, leaving us to geek out without having to pretend that she was interested. "I'm sure that still wouldn't keep you busy for long, though." I teased as I turned to face Spencer and he smiled shyly at me.
"Will you be alright here?" He asked as he began to assess the space.
I had to admit that his concern had caught me off guard. The others were often open with their emotions, but Spencer was quieter, almost as if he was still deciding whether he could be himself around me. Although I hoped that in time he would relax, I had no intention of pushing him. For now, I was simply pleasantly surprised to find that he was just as protective of me as the rest of the team.
"Oh, sure. It's kinda bare right now, but once I get some books on display and add a bunch of plants, it'll be great." I defended, hoping that he wouldn't sense the nerves that I still held for this move. "Maybe I'll even get some fairy lights for the edge of that loft bit." I added thoughtfully as I pointed toward my bed, causing him to peek over at me with confusion, but before I could question it Morgan charged back inside the apartment with a heavy case containing a large majority of my clothing.
"She means string lights, pretty boy. It's a Britishism." He explained, causing Spencer to smile at me as if endeared by the idea and I shrugged, unaware that this was a term that was uncommon here. "That's everything from the van. I don't think we're all gonna fit in your place, so how about grabbing some lunch out? I know a joint nearby."
"Sure. My treat for all your help." I offered as Spencer and I began to make our way to the door, only for Morgan to snatch my keys from my hand to test the locks protectively.
Once he was satisfied that the apartment was safe, we regrouped with the others and followed his lead to a small bar a couple of blocks away. Even in the distance, it was clear that it was a lively venue. On closer examination, I noticed a couple of decorative choices that indicated that it was probably a sports bar.
Everyone chatted happily as Morgan arranged a table outside in the sun, seeming as if he knew the owners and we took our seats whilst he caught up with them. The waiter provided us with menus whilst gesturing to Morgan, who joined us with a bright smile.
"Now. I know that you're used to all of your food being boiled and beige, but you're not living in the war anymore. It's time to get modern. This here is some real American food that's gonna blow your mind." He announced, flashing me a cheeky wink but I simply rolled my eyes at him.
"Ah, yes. I'm in America now, the land of heart attack burgers and copious amounts of salt on absolutely everything. I'll need bigger clothes in no time." I retorted, causing laughter to pass around the table and Morgan shook his head at me.
"Alright. You just reserve your judgement for now. You're gonna eat your words." He argued, throwing a menu at me insistently.
Flipping through the pages of the menu, I was overwhelmed by choices. Though I'd experienced a few months of living in the States as a teenager and had actually spent the first four years of my life here, I considered myself proudly British at heart. I knew that the lifestyle was going to be the hardest adaptation for me to make.
With little other options that felt familiar, I ordered a grilled sandwich with fries and an ice tea, with Morgan raising a brow at me judgmentally for somehow slipping tea into my meal.
"So, Alice. Do you know anyone here other than us?" JJ asked, moving the conversation away from the British vs American war that Morgan and I had begun. "I heard that you've got family in the area?"
"Well, I've got Ricky, as you know. He is starting his second year at the University of Virginia, so he's really local. Then I have two aunts in Florida and my grandma in New York. Plus, my dad who is on the West Coast somewhere, I think?" I listed openly, realising as I got to the end that I wasn't exactly sure where my flaky father was living at the moment.
"You're not in touch with your dad?" Morgan investigated, studying me with an obvious curiosity and I shuffled awkwardly in my seat.
"Is it that obvious?" I chuckled under my breath, attempting to make light of it and I noticed Penelope out of the corner of my eye gesturing at him to drop his line of questioning. "He has a habit of moving from one fancy apartment to another in various superficial cities along the coast. He's still out there chasing his Hugh Hefner, playboy dream." I clarified, attempting not to cause them all to feel that I was shutting them out from the details of my life so soon, but Penelope dove in to change the topic.
"I actually made you something to help you to get situated." She announced, dropping a large binder onto the table that caused me to stare back at her in confusion. "This bad boy has all of the details for local laundromats, gyms, take outs and everything else that you could possibly need, all based on our personal recommendations. I know that it can be hard to get into the swing of things in a new place, let alone a new country, so hopefully this makes that process a little less daunting for you." She smiled and as I scanned the faces of the team around the table, I could tell that they had each contributed to this.
"That is so considerate!" I breathed, taking a quick flick through the pages with amazement and it was easy to tell how much work had gone into creating it. "Thank you so much. I honestly can't even tell you how much this is going to help."
"We're here for you, Alice. We're a team." Spencer emphasised, meeting my eyes with a kind smile and my heart felt full at the sight of it.