Rating: M/Strong R

Warnings: Obi/Ani Slash

Chapter 4

"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost."
-G.K. Chesterton

Obi-Wan covered Anakin's body with his own and whispered into his ear. "If you keep saying things like that…" He looked away as his voice trailed off.

"What, Master?" Anakin hoped he hadn't gone too far—his Master wasn't comfortable talking about feelings, but saying it had felt right.

"Nothing." Obi-Wan smiled down at him. "Now where was I?"

Anakin decided to let it go—he didn't want to ruin this moment between them. He pulled his Master's head down so that it touched his forehead. "I need you inside me, please."

Obi-Wan raised up slightly, with a startled expression on his face.

Anakin's stomach churned—had he been too explicit? Was he making Obi-Wan uncomfortable already? "What's wrong? I thought you wanted to…"

"I do." Obi-Wan's cheeks flushed as he stammered. "It's just that I've always been the one…"

Anakin raised his eyebrows, wondering what his Master meant. Then he grinned as it dawned on him. "You mean you were always the one getting fucked?"

Obi-Wan shook his head as if he was offended, but Anakin could see that his eyes were sparkling. "I wasn't going to put it so crudely, but yes, that is what I meant."

"I just though we'd take turns. But if you'd rather not, I would be happy to try and figure it out."

"Turns? Anakin—I thought we agreed that we weren't going to put ourselves in this position again."

Anakin nodded quickly; he hadn't meant to say that. And he had no intention of this being their last time, but he wasn't going to tell his Master that now. "Right. Um, that's what I thought…before."

Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes. "Why do I have the feeling you're hiding something?"

"Me? I have no idea what you mean." Anakin laughed and changed the subject. "So Quinlan didn't like to trade off?"

Obi-Wan's cheeks turned even redder, but thankfully he didn't question Anakin further. "No. He didn't."

"Don't worry, Master, we don't have to talk about it any more. I don't like thinking about you with him anyway." He brushed his knuckles down the side of Obi-Wan's face. "But you are so cute when your cheeks get all warm."

Anakin had thought it impossible for Obi-Wan's face to get any pinker, but now even his ears were bright red. "Sorry Master. I'll stop."

Obi-Wan sighed in relief. "Thank you." He lowered himself back down so that his body was resting on Anakin's again. "Now where was I?"

As his Master kissed him again, Anakin thought he could stay like this forever, just to experience the taste of Obi-Wan. Another part of his body was screaming for attention, but he wasn't ready for this to end.

Obi-Wan finally broke away, and moved down to Anakin's chest, where he gently licked Anakin's nipple.

"Master!" Anakin grabbed Obi-Wan's wrist. "I can't take it."

Obi-Wan's forehead creased in confusion. "You don't like it?"

"No, I do. It's just—too much. I'll never make it—sorry."

His Master moved his mouth lower, and touched his lips to Anakin's stomach. "How is this then?"

Anakin exhaled. He didn't think he could survive this much pleasure. "That's…wonderful."

Obi-Wan went further down, rubbing his still-smooth cheeks against Anakin's thigh.

Anakin closed his eyes and smiled, enjoying the feel of Obi-Wan's face against his leg. He had been so pleased to see that his Master had shaved again that morning—just for him. He opened his eyes again—the sight of his Master down between his thighs was too erotic to miss.

Anakin touched his Master's face. "You have on too many clothes."

"I do seem to be fully dressed, don't I?" Obi-Wan pulled away and stood up, quickly shedding his tunic, leggings and undergarments. "Is that better?"

Anakin sighed happily. "Much."

Anakin watched as Obi-Wan reached over and picked up the bottle of lotion, pouring what seemed like a large amount into his hands. Anakin felt himself tense up, and Obi-Wan noticed it as well.

"Don't be concerned, we can stop anytime."

"No, I don't want to stop."

"Anakin, if you feel uncomfortable at anytime, please tell me. I want this to be good for you."

"I've haven't stopped thinking about this for one second since yesterday."

Obi-Wan shifted slightly and Anakin braced himself, expecting to feel Obi-Wan pushing himself inside, but instead Obi-Wan clasped both of his hands over Anakin's erection. They were coated with lotion and Anakin cried out as his Master ran his hands up and down, over and over.

Obi-Wan wrapped his left hand firmly around Anakin's length and rubbed his thumb against the underside. At the same time, he pressed one finger against Anakin, slipping it in before he had time to tense up again.

Obi-Wan bent his finger slightly and twisted his wrist while still rubbing Anakin's erection with his other hand. Anakin clutched the sheets and struggled to keep from coming—he was not expecting this kind of intensity—he had never felt anything like that before.

He didn't just feel it in between his legs—pleasure burst in his mind, sending tingling waves of sensation all over his body.

He panted, trying to hold on without losing it, but just as he'd recovered, his Master slipped another finger inside and pressed forward gently while curling his wrist again.

Anakin screamed and arched his back. "Master." He wasn't ready for it to end. "If you do that again, I won't last."

Obi-Wan smiled. "Just let it happen." Keeping his right hand in place, Obi-Wan squeezed Anakin's erection, and ran his hand from base to tip.

Warm heat flushed Anakin's entire body, and then he was floating as he came.

Obi-Wan just smiled as he wiped his hands off and crawled back up to lie next to Anakin. "You were pleased, I take it?

"That was…I don't have any words. It was fucking incredible."

Obi-Wan turned Anakin's face toward his and kissed him, but Anakin's eyes were still glassy. He shook his head in amazement. "I didn't know…I had no idea…"

Obi-Wan caressed Anakin's cheek. "You didn't know that it would feel good?"

"No." Anakin swallowed hard. "I wanted to do it to be close to you."

Obi-Wan leaned in for another kiss and this time Anakin met him halfway.

Anakin traced Obi-Wan's lips with his tongue before opening his mouth enough to taste his Master. Less than a minute after they started kissing, Anakin took his Maser's hand and moved it between his legs. "Feel. I'm already hard again."

"Are you surprised?"

"A little. I've always been able to go at least two or three times a day, but I've never gotten hard this soon afterward."

"You've never been with a man before either."

"It's not because you're a man—it's because you're you." Anakin wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan's waist and pulled him back on top of his body. "Now, Master. Make love to me now."

Obi-Wan crawled backward and knelt between Anakin's knees again, this time smearing the lotion onto his own erection.

Anakin took a deep breath. "I'm ready."

As Obi-Wan guided his erection in, Anakin squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to moan in agony as he felt a blaze of pain.

Obi-Wan shifted his weight onto his arm and wrapped his other hand around Anakin's shaft. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No." Anakin panted a few times. "Keep going."

"Try and relax. It will get easier."

Obi-Wan moved up until he could reach Anakin's neck with his mouth. He circled his tongue firmly against the skin, while stroking Anakin's erection. "Is that helping?"

"Yes." Even Anakin's shoulders were tight with anticipation. "Try more."

Obi-Wan pushed forward a bit more and Anakin bit his lip and groaned at the second flash of pain.

"Still bad?"

Anakin tried to use the Force to relax his shoulders, but now his stomach was in knots. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan."

"Don't be sorry—it was like this for me too."

Anakin exhaled again after he succeeded in getting his stomach muscles to unclench. "Now."

This time when Obi-Wan pushed forward, the pain was more of a flicker than a blaze. Anakin looked up to see that Obi-Wan had his eyes closed—Anakin hoped the excruciatingly slow pace wasn't driving his Master crazy. Obi-Wan had more patience than anyone Anakin knew, but this could drive even a Jedi Master mad. "Are you all right, Master?"

"Yes, I am fine. I hate causing you pain."

Anakin bit down on his lip and grabbed Obi-Wan's hips, yanking them forward until his Master was completely inside him. He stifled a groan. "It's a welcome pain."

Startled, Obi-Wan let go of Anakin's erection and braced himself with his arms to keep from falling onto his face. "Anakin! You were supposed to let yourself adjust."

"I know, but I didn't want to wait any longer." Anakin wiggled his hips to get accustomed to the feeling. "I'm fine now."

Obi-Wan moved his hand back between them, but Anakin caught his wrist and said, "No, I want to see what it's like without you touching me."

Surprised, Obi-Wan nodded and began to move very slightly.

Anakin moaned again at the feel of him. The warm weight of his Master, on his hips, against his ribs, pressing on his chest was more intense than anything Anakin had ever felt. "More."

Obi-Wan angled his hips and pressed forward, hitting something inside Anakin again that made him writhe in ecstasy. "Oh! Master. Please."

Anakin's stomach was still slick with the lotion from before, his erection was coated, and the friction between their moving bodies was pushing him to the edge. The knowledge that Obi-Wan was giving him this fulfillment was enough to make him come, but he forced himself to wait as long as he could. When he felt his Master began to tense, he let himself go, hugging Obi-Wan as close as he could.

His Master collapsed on top of him, and Anakin felt Obi-Wan's release inside his body and inside his mind. This was the happiest moment of his life.

After his breathing slowed, Obi-Wan pushed himself up to rest on his elbows before moving both his hands to Anakin's face. "I love you."

"I love you too." Anakin gripped Obi-Wan's shoulders tightly. "And I never want to be apart from you."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Obi-Wan lay on his side, watching Anakin sleep. Anakin hadn't even wanted him to get up to wash off, so he had thrown a towel between them and pulled Anakin's body toward him.

Anakin had sighed softly and then closed his eyes.

Obi-Wan was relieved to see that he was able to rest after all that had happened. Earlier that evening when he had come back to their rooms to find Anakin sobbing, he thought his heart would break. He had never seen Anakin like that. He wasn't angry or raging, he was just so resigned, like he had given up.

Obi-Wan wasn't going to let Anakin give up. Not ever.

But when Anakin asked Obi-Wan to make love to him, he hesitated—there were so many things to consider—so many potential problems. Anakin wasn't exactly centered right now…In the space of twenty-four hours, Anakin had become intimate with his Master, rescued the Supreme Chancellor, killed a Sith Lord, landed a flaming ship, and found out his wife was pregnant.

That would be too much for anyone, but for someone as emotional as Anakin…Obi-Wan was scared of what would happen to Anakin if he told him no. And he desperately wanted to feel their bodies joined, at least once in his life. Let this memory be enough to last…

He had been determined to make this memorable, and he hoped he had succeeded. He knew Anakin well enough to know that he didn't truly believe they wouldn't sleep together again. Even without his comment about taking turns, Obi-Wan knew Anakin would never let go so easily. It just wasn't who he was—and it was one of the things Obi-Wan loved about him.

He sighed and tried to ignore the tightness in his chest. He knew Anakin often thought his Master had all the answers, or at least a working solution, but right now Obi-Wan wasn't feeling too certain about anything—he didn't know what would happen between them, not as lovers, but as partners and friends.

Obi-Wan had to admit that he would love nothing more than to continue this part of their relationship—to feel Anakin inside him as he found release. But Obi-Wan could not let this continue—the consequences were too risky. He dreaded the first time that Anakin approached him and he was forced to tell him no.

He understood Anakin's despair—Obi-Wan's heart had stopped when he'd heard Anakin say he couldn't tell Padme that he was leaving her. He had wanted to curl up in a ball and wail, just like Anakin, but he couldn't let himself fall apart. If Obi-Wan were to lose control, how could Anakin manage?

Obi-Wan was pulled from his thoughts when Anakin reached for his hand. "Can I sleep here tonight—with you?"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes briefly. Gods, it was going to hurt when Anakin left to go back to Padme. "Yes."

"Master?"

Obi-Wan placed his other hand over Anakin's. "Yes?"

"What am I going to do?"

"Can you be more specific?"

"I was just thinking…now that Padme is pregnant, she's afraid the Queen will ask her to step down."

"Is Naboo that traditional?"

Anakin shrugged. "I guess so. If she decides she wants to announce our marriage…" A few tears leaked from the corners of Anakin's eyes. "What if they make me leave the Jedi? What if she wants to move back to Naboo?"

Obi-Wan had already thought of all the scenarios that would lead Anakin away from him forever, but he didn't think now was the time for him to discuss them with his former apprentice. "Don't get ahead of yourself Anakin. Why don't you find out what Padme plans to do before you start to panic?"

"I'm trying, but I can't stop thinking about it." He scooted closer to Obi-Wan. "If they expel me, I won't be with you anymore. I don't think I could take it, Master."

Obi-Wan kissed the tears away from Anakin's cheeks. Even Anakin's tears tasted clean and fresh, just like the rest of him. "I won't let you pass out of my life that easily, Anakin."

"But it won't be the same."

"No, it won't be the same." Obi-Wan pulled one hand away and began to rub Anakin's back. "But it wasn't going to be the same anyway, not after…" Obi-Wan gestured toward his and Anakin's body. "This."

Anakin wiped away the fresh tears. "No, it was going to be better."

TBC