Sorry I've been absent for a while. I think this fic might meet epilogue in a little while, not sure. Anyway, now is that fun time where I explain that school is a bitch, and writer's block a helluva pain, and breaking up with one's girlfriend is a bitch under all circumstances. Also, we reiterate the disclaimer that I own absolutely jack shit, with the exception of the computer this fic was ever-so-neatly typed upon. No, wait...that's my Dad's.....damn.
Yep, I own nothing. Not even cash. So don't sue me. Please?
----------------The Temple-------------
Ranma slowly, carefully picked his way through his meal, his attention focused completely on other things.
Well....almost completely. Ranma being Ranma, he wasn't about to let food get away, even if he DIDN'T need it. A quick grab later produced his life-saving, energy-producing bottle of sweet, fermented honey mead. Being a God was awesome, and he had rather acquired a taste for the medieval spirit. The sound of no other chopsticks clacking in porcelain bowls caught at Ranma's attention and he looked up to see everyone, save Keiichi, staring at him. Keiichi was staring at the look Belldandy had on her face. Ranma nearly laughed out loud when he saw her left eye twitching. Just as Ranma was about to open him mouth to ask, another voice interrupted. While a VERY masculine pair of hands checked his pulse and temperature.
"Alright, Ranma, what did the old ghoul feed you this time, huh?"
Ranma looked up to see the disbelief in his old friend/rival's face, and almost cried when he saw the concern there. So Ryouga DID care about him. Ranma shook his head, mainly out of need to clear it (cobwebs could be SO damned annoying sometimes...), but Ryouga took it as a denial that Cologne had fed him anything.
"Nuthin', man. I'm ok. Cologne and I had a fallin' out earlier, don't think I'll be marryin' Shampoo too soon."
Ryouga merely nodded, then hooked his hands behind his head.
"So....you gonna tell me what's up with tha fashion statement, or what? And what's with the chick that looks like you following you? She ain't gonna try to kill you again, huh?"
At this, both Ranma and his angel glared...before their stomachs reminded them they needed feeding.
Which would be about three hours before their heads reminded them they were a God and Angel and only needed to binge to be mighty.
But never mind that, Ranma and his angel took off eating at a rapid pace. So wrapped up in his food were they that neither noticed the relief that passed into the faces of watchers. Ryouga's eye began twitching as the "runty, insane" young one with black hair deactivated the buzzing, vibrating mass of Positron Laser aimed at Ranma.
Ryouga was very glad he planned only to fight Ranma and get back to Ukyou. Wait, did Ranma know about that?
"Hey, uh...Ranma.....about....um...about your fiance problem..."
He stopped as Ranma quickly stopped eating, not to listen, but because his plate was empty. Hotaru, his angel, was quickly restored to Kasumi's lap, where the tall girl once again began her affectionate attentions. Ranma looked up, a content grin on his face.
"Nah, Ryouga...I ain't got a fiance mess. Only things I haven't worked out are....K-O-D-A-C-H-I, and Ukyou."
"Err....Why'd ya spell her name like that?"
"'The Master' syndrome. Saying the name summons the demon."
Ryouga nodded. Yes, he knew exactly how that went. It seemed every time he cursed Ranma's name, he ended up with the formerly-pigtailed wonder balancing on his parasol. Ryouga shook his head. For some reason, while he was in this room, something within his body was freakishly silent. That being Ryouga's overdeveloped anger and vengeance gland. Or rather, the demon that ran it. Demons don't like to bask in godly presences too long. And NOTHING bearing ill-will can stand up to the combined might of a Kasumi-Belldandy peace front. Now, if only that Sasami girl from Okayama were there, world peace would be within reach...
Ryouga shrugged and continued, wondering where the hell the narrator came up with this shit.
"Anyway, you don't have to "deal with" Ukyou. Ya know, lately, since the failed wedding thing, she hasn't really chased you much. It's because....we...well.....erm..."
At this point, Ranma got VERY interested. He stepped right up to Ryouga and asked.
"Well, Ranma.....Ukyou's....um....she's about eight months along."
Ranma didn't get it.
And a great many faces met the floor. However, this was not to last. Ryouga realized something just a TAD too late.
"Hey, waitaminit....since when do you know what a fallin' out is, Ranma?"
Which meant the floor of the Morisato Temple would be filling its insurance quota for facefault damage.
-------------------Several Hours Later, at the Ucchan's-------------------
Ranma and Ryouga entered the restaurant, talking as if they were old friends, which, in a roundabout way, they were. Of course, you already knew this. Anyway, Ranma entered the restaurant, talking with Ryouga about techniques they'd learned, why Ranma knew goddesses (not that pig-boy was surprised. It fit fine in Nerima.), and how Ranma himself had become a god. Of course, the demon that once resided within Ryouga's skull decided to share residence with another Neriman demon, but that comes later.
Ranma walked up to the counter and ordered only one of his usuals. Ukyou, turning around and finding both her fiancees, grinned broadly.
"Why, hey there, shuga! How's things?"
Ranma bowed to the soon-to-be-mother and grinned himself.
"Nothin' much, Ucchan. Just became a kami a coupla weeks ago, got a buncha sisters, two new moms, and a coupla brothers. Oh, yeah, and I got some new senseis that're gonna be droppin' by soon."
To Ukyou's credit (or Nerima's discredit), the okonomiyaki chef took it all in stride. Of course she would. This was Ranma.
The trio shared small talk well into the surprisingly Akane-free afternoon, and a newcomer to Nerima (or even the Ucchan's) would assume the three had been best friends for life. Of course, such displays of warmth and family were not to last long in the chaos that was Nerima.
Ya remember that demon I told ya about? You know, Ryouga's rage demon? Guess who he's rooming with now....
Yep, you guessed it. He decided to reside Mousse's misperception, jump-to-conclusions, and rape-a-mailbox-'cuz-yer-blind (Damn, did Tsubasa hate that one...) demons. Which meant the front window of the Ucchan's suffered heavy glass casualties due to a bowling pin assault from the near-blind martial artist.
"RANMA SAOTOME!! FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO MY DARLING SHAMPOO, YOU SHALL PERISH!!!!"
Now, Nerima being Nerima, a certain insane kendoist and a certain insane kendoist's certainly insane sister happened to be walking by (they weren't holding hands or doing nasty, incestual hentai things in the park that would result in more like them, honest!), as well as a certain violent, twitchy, mallet-happy wanna-be who thought she was a martial artist. I'll leave you to imagine why she was walking out of the dog pound with her panties tucked into her jacket pocket.
Anyway, Ranma, Ryouga, and Akane formed a combined front against the assault of the not-quite-all-there front, yet as more and more people joined in the battle (Why the hell was KONATSU on KODACHI'S side?!), the battle would seem to be lost. Happosai's Happodaikirin were making mincemeat of the three valiant martial artists. Even Ukyou's obvious condition garnered no remorse (especially from Akane, who was pissed she got that way by either Ranma or Ryouga. They were HERS, damnit!). Tsubasa was fighting Ryouga, Shampoo and Akane had become embattled with Ukyou, and the rest of Ranma's challengers, save Herb and Saffron, were battling the Martial Arts Kami.
Of course, Ranma couldn't take this, no sirree, not at all. So while the dust cloud that was ever-present in cartoon brawls was hiding the situation, Ranma used the oldest trick in the cartoon book and peeled out.
Which, this being Nerima, everyone noticed. And peeled out after him, minus Ukyou and Ryouga. Battling always turned them on, and that had been a helluva fight...CLANG!!!!
"Damnit, ya freakin' hentai, this is about ME!!! IF YA DON'T WRITE HOW I ESCPAE THESE NUTS, I'LL KILL YA!!!
Err.....right. A chase through the streets of Nerima ensued, with the Khaotic Kloud of Kock-eyed Killjoys gaining on the Errant Errand-boy of Ebony hair steadily. It all seemed hopeless to the poor young man.
Until, lo and behold, a familiar figure dressed in purple pants with a violet shin guard held open a door. Ranma rushed in, forgetting to phase thorugh the door, and searched his immediate vicinity.
Books. Books, books, books, and more books. Ranma was in a library. Nobody from Nerima would look for HIM in a library. Ranma sent a silent prayer of thanks to Zhang He, who was outside pointing the Nerima gang in a random direction. A smirk on his face, Zhang He vanished when they were gone.
------------The Armory of You-Know-Where--------------
"You enjoy playing matchmaker, don't you?"
"I, Zhou Yu, merely appreciate the beauty of a proper relationship. Besides, I have to look out for my avatar..."
"Whatever. Shut up, you two, I'm tying to keep an eye on the purple-headed one...."
Both Zhou Yu and Zhang He stared as Zhao Yun entered the verge of giving himself whiplash staring at the young amazon's chest in the Asgard Television Network to Nerima.
-------------The Library-----------
Ranma delved deeper into his temporary sanctuary, slowly becomeing more and more absorbed in the books as he reached the inner sanctum. As he explored the tomes of knowledge about him, a small voice behind him caught his attention.
Ranma turned around, and his breath caught. Before him stood an angel, it had to be! Nevermind the angel about ready to bonk him upside the head, this...this was pure heaven!
Before him stood a sweet, pale-skinned gaijin librarian who seemed, before Ranma's eyes, to glow. Her lustrous chestnut hair, her warm chocolate eyes, and even the way she held the books in her arms called to Ranma...
While Ranma was paying attention to the nametag on her collar, which read Rayne Misato, by the way, the poor young woman with a stack of books blocking her view tripped on a snag in the carpet.
Ranma's world went black under a copy of "War and Peace".
---------Outside---------
"THIS is my step-son?....Damn, you were right. He IS gorgeous, Mara-chan.....Mara-chan?"
A certain demoness was busy twisting her newpaper into tiny little tornado bits and imagining a certain librarian roasting in Nifleheim's barbecue.
Ranma was HERS!!!
...Mara promptly killed that thought and smoothed her hair.
It was a secret even to herself that she was rejoicing theat she lived with him and Rayne Misato did not.
--------------------------TBC-----------------------
Next time on Shattered Back Together: wait and see!!
I know this one was short....I'm kind of on a tight schedule, and besides, I don't want to rush things too fast.
A few more chapters 'til epilogue!