Sorry I haven't posted in a while. My ideas for this fic are getting blown out of the water bit by bit. I couldn't think of a match-up, or how to get Ranma with the original character, who's only gonna have a cameo in this chap. The winner of my school's anime cub match-up poll is: -drumrollllllllllllllll- HILD/RANMA! DAMN, that's gonna be a hard one....
----------------Chapter Four: I'm A God, How 'Bout You?-------------
Ranma opened his eyes, a fretting librarian standing over him and almost crying a storm.
"Oh my god! Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I? Oh please tell me you're...oh, hello, ladies. May I help you?"
Ranma groaned, bringing the librarian's attention back to him, until one of the women (Ranma thought "Mara?! What the hell?!") shifted her weight, and the librarian's attention jumped back to the two waiting ladies. Ranma couldn't believe he ever thought this chick was attractive. Sure, she was good-looking, but he'd never really been one to base things on looks.
After all, Shampoo had been a bitch and a half to him. Thinking on that, Ranma realized just about every female he knew, besides Kasumi and Belldandy, was nuts in some way. He began ticking his fingers as the attention-deficit librarian began worrying over a man who sneezed into his book before returning her attention to the ever-impatient Mara.
One: Nabiki. Bitch and a half, and a mercenary with money. Definitely not marriage material.
Two: Nodoka. Obsessive-compulsive when it comes to mentioning her son's "manliness", which is solely based on how often he peeps on and screws women.
Three: Ukyou. Who in their right mind carries a giant spatula for a weapon? Then obsesses over one thing, one person, for ten years?
Four: Shampoo....let's not go there.
Five: Akane. Ranma shuddered. Bitch. Violent. Evil. Destructive. Abusive. Somehow creates brand-new evolutionary levels of evil and pain with every use of the kitchen.
Six: Urd. She was just nuts. And horny. And nuts.
Seven: Skuld. She carried a huge hammer with her wherever she went, and refused to think straight when he was around. And the creative ways she tortured that Keiichi guy for "hurting Belldandy-neechan" were damned hilarious.
Mara: Ranma paused. He'd not really spent any time getting to know the demon. He decided he'd give her a chance.
Ranma's eyes collided with a pair of very tan, very long legs. His view traveled up their length and found slim hips in a white robe. His eyes bugged as they met the voluptuous chest, the smooth tan skin of the neck, and then the beautiful face of the figure next to Mara. Who couldn't take her glorious blue eyes off of Ranma's.
Ranma couldn't stifle a whistle. Nor, it seemed, could his angel. The figure smiled broadly as both Ranma and Hotaru blushed at the realization they'd gone and made like the Mask in the Coco Bongo.
"Well, I see you enjoy the view, Ranma-san. My name's Hild. Mara's told me all about you."
Ranma blushed again, and hastily stood up, bowing apologetically to Hild. Hild shrugged it off.
"You can make it up to me over lunch, Ranma-chan."
Ranma barely flinched at the mention of his former nickname, instead nodding nearly helplessly and taking Hild's arm. Mara, fuming, attempted to follow, but Hild turned, winked, and blew a kiss at the demon. Effectively trapping her within the confines of the library for two hours. And making her mad as all holy hell, but still.
Ranma, however, was focusing on not sticking his foot in his mouth as he led Hild to a rather nice restaurant in the Azabu-Juuban district, a fun little place called the Crown Arcade. Hild ordered a scoop of ice cream, Ranma indulged himself and ordered some imported whiskey, a strange concoction called a Jack Daniels that was nonetheless a powerful kick to the senses.. Hotaru had a double scoop of fudge ripple.
And so began the small talk.
"So, Ranma, I hear you're a god."
Okay, make that not so small talk. Ranma's angel started freaking out. Until Ranma bought her a triple scoop of chocolate swirl.
"Yeah, I'm Ranma Ohkami, class two, category two God of Martial Arts, Rain, and Cats. Why?"
Hild grinned broadly, and genuinely. Ranma, for the short time she'd known him, seemed like a really nice guy.
Ranma was knocked off his feet as he saw Hild's smile. Damn, but she was beautiful! And she seemed really nice. Before he knew what was happening, Ranma found himself spilling his deepest secrets to Hild, Hotaru pitching in every now and then. Hild's gaze grew angry, then pitiable, then adoring, then lustful, then shocked, then angry again, until finally, as Ranma told her about his recent experiences with his new family, relieved and not a little loving. She decided to tell him.
"Ranma, you're a really great guy...I wouldn't mind spending more time with you...but...I'm..I'm the great demoness Hild-sama. I rule Nifleheim."
There, she said it. Now he was gonna go nuts and try to kill her and she was going to have to kill him and why did she have to say it? And why was she acting like a teenage schoolgirl on her first crush? She heard Ranma slugging the last of the whiskey back and wiping his mouth with his sleeve. His answer:
"So? It ain't like yer evil."
Was the last thing she expected.
-------------------Elsewhere, after a certain mob died down--------------
Zhang He, Zhou Yu, and Zhao Yun found themselves trying to calm a certain demon. Or rather, Zhao Yun and Zhang He tried to calm the demoness Mara while Zhou Yu made out with a certain A.D.D.-suffering librarian. Mara, meanwhile, was pissed that Hild was taking her man on a date, leaving Mara trapped to watch Tweedle-Red and Tweedle-Book make out like teenagers in a movie.
Of course, she thought as she eyed Zhao Yun with great interest, it was no great loss. Zhang he swiftly gave up attempting to calm Mara down as she took to making with Zhao Yun the way the librarian was making with Zhou Yu.
Zhang He merely shook his head, picked up his heels, and walked outside. Directly into a certain pony-tailed young woman in search of her lost "little brother". Of course, Zhang He payed little to no attention to that. No, he was busy praising what gods provided him with this glorious vision of unsurpassed beauty. Of course, in his praising the gods, he forgot quite readily that he, himself, was one of them. Life was crazy like that.
"Pardon me, my dear, but I couldn't help but notice how your radiant beauty shines on this fair day. May I be of service to you, please but ask of me anything."
"Oh, my...."
-----------------The Crown Arcade---------------
"I mean, seriously. So ya like makin' mischief and havin' fun. That's cool. An' people gotta suffer a little, or they ain't never gonna be any good. I mean, look at me."
Hild winked one eye, indicating that she was indeed looking at him. The gesture had the effect of making Ranma blush and making Hotaru giggle. Her master was very funny.
"I am looking at you, Ranma-kun, but I think I get what you're saying."
Ranma nodded once before sighing inwardly. Belldandy was going to have a fit when she saw Ranma blushing like this. Not to mention Bast and Sekhmet...
Ranma groaned, burying his face in his arms as he realized that. He seriously doubted his mothers would like him having half-demon children. Ranma's eye twitched, and Hotaru immediately picked up on Ranma's thought. Which started a tirade that Ranma returned.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YA MEAN, HOW COULD I THINK O' HAVIN' CHILDREN WITH HER?!?!"
Which, of course, brought Ranma and Hotaru up short as Hild's spoon dropped from her fingers and she got this giggly glazed look in her eyes.
Babies...more babies. More holding her children and cuddling them and nuzzling them...Hotaru and Ranma waved a hand before her face multiple times before looking at each other and shrugging. What the hell was it with women and kids? Ranma sighed and grabbed another bottle of Jack Daniels, slugging it back.
Now, two things occurred from this unwitting downing of serious alcohol. First, we must take some things into consideration. Ranma, the exceptionally powerful mortal, had only recently been turned into Ranma, the incredibly powerful god. His body was still growing accustomed to its death and rebirth. However, some of his old physical traits made themselves known from time to time. Such as Ranma's extreme intolerance to alcohol.
With these things in consideration, it is very easy to picture Ranma becoming sledgehammered from the consumption of an exceptional amount of high-proof alcohol. Now, combined with that, and Ranma's junior nature in godliness, a spike of power radiated from him to all of those in a five-mile radius.
A youma was vaporized, the sailor senshi evolved to a calling of higher power than Eternal, and a certain green-haired senshi realized her dreams of controlling mankind were rather misplaced. But none of that's here nor there.
The direct effect, and the one this story hinges on, is that fact that the power Ranma radiated was intoxicating to most deities. I.E. demons and gods. Especially ones that don't expect it. And Hild, lost in her child-induced stupor, didn't expect Ranma to get sloshed and radiate power like a sun. In moments, both beings of higher power were off their rocker for a good, long time.
Hotaru sighed and grabbed Ranma's back, helping both him and Hild off into the street. Nobody looked twice and a legless, winged redhead carrying two sledged figures with odd tattoos on their faces. Nobody bothered the poor angel as she aimed the two through a doorway, focusing on Ranma's power and sending them tumbling directly into the bed in Ranma's apartment before the strain of resisting the waves of power and effects of the alcohol caught up with her, and she succumbed. She entered Ranma once more to recuperate, and, in such a position, was unable to prevent what happened next.
Two attractive deities with budding feelings for each other plus absent inhibitions plus no chaperones equals helluva wake-up call the next morning.
--------------Meanwhile, elsewhere...----------------
Zhang He held Kasumi's hand as they strolled through the streets, idly pointing out different locales, as two figures descended before them, grinning. One, wearing a set of Chinese robes and a round straw cap, had lightning arcing from the various limbs of his body. The other, with a white ponytail and no shirt, had wind swirling around his forearms and ankles. Raiden and Fujin, Ranma's brothers, instantly clasped hands with their old comrade and friend, Zhang He.
"Well done, He. Kami-sama sends his thanks for getting the job done."
Zhang He bowed quickly before straightening.
"So...it is done?"
"It is. Why Kami-sama would set his own ex-wife up with HIM is beyond me..."
"When did they get divorced, anyhow?"
Zhang He sighed and shook his head. Was he the ONLY one who paid attention to his lord's matters?
"Our lord, Kami-sama, fell out with his wife after Urd was born a goddess. Hild had rather been hoping for a demon...well, Kami-sama chose HIM for her as he can give her what she needs best. Besides, she already thought he was hot."
At this, all three gods bowed their heads as though a tremendous weight were placed on them. Of course, it could just be them....
Kasumi, on the other hand, with her older sister's intuition, instantly knew what had happened.
"Yay! I'm going to be an auntie! Oh! But what will I wear to the baby shower?"
The three gods' heads hung lower.
----------------------Author's Corner---------------------
Yes, yes, I'm pretty much taking this one slowly. My other works are still on, I just need my inspiration to return to them.