Chapter 7: Not So Hopeless Suitor
"WAKE UP!"
A barrage of three feminine voices suddenly snapped me awake, nearly making me fall out of my bed. I blinked as I looked to my left to see the Triple D already dressed and looking down at me expectantly. No doubt they were the ones who woke me up. I rubbed my eyes and checked the clock on my phone. Nine in the morning, well at least they didn't wake me up at the crack of dawn. "Come on, Cody! Today's the day you find a date!" Dallas announced. Wait what?! They were doing this now? At this early too? I couldn't even ask them any of these questions as I was practically dragged out of bed and the three shoved a pair of my new clothes in my hands. "We'll be waiting for you!" Destiny called out to me before she and the rest of the Triple D left. I hope at least they'll give me enough time to have breakfast and freshen myself up. Not having your teeth brushed and having morning breath is not a good first impression after all.
Well, after getting myself a quick breakfast and having myself freshened up with the help of the Triple D, by help I mean them using the most expensive deodorant they had on me along with hair gel and other bodily cosmetics to make me look more appealing, we were on our way to the park as according to what Deja Vu told me, the park was where Dylan had once helped another human find a potential love interest so chances are I'd meet someone there. We were just passing under the entry gates when my ears picked up a familiar voice from a few days ago followed by another voice.
"No! No way! Fuck you!"
"Come on, Trev!"
"I'm NOT goin' to barge into some store and steal some fuckin' jewellery for some rat unless Fergus tells me otherwise! Get another personal human bandit!"
The Triple D and I went further into the park to find a certain Irish teenager, the very same one Dorothy had bitten a few days ago conversing with a rat in a dirty torn tank top and ripped denim shorts, pink spiked hair and two flower tattoos on her arms. The flower tattoo on her right bearing light blue petals while the one on her other arm had a colour between red and pink. The only female member of Fergus' group called the 'Canal Crew', Big Fee.
"RAT! EEEEEEEEEEK!" Dallas and Destiny suddenly screamed in terror upon catching sight of Big Fee, getting her and Trevor's attention. "Cow! Mooooo! Parrot! Squawk!" Deja Vu suddenly added as we all just gave her confused looks. "Uhh what, I thought we were mimicking animal noises again!" Deja Vu said with a sheepish smile upon noticing the looks we were giving her.
"Ah, alright, Cody?" I turned back to Trevor who waved at me as I waved back. "Hey Trevor, been a while. Shouldn't you be with Fergus?" I responded with a question. "Well I would be if his "girlfriend" over here didn't decide to drag me away from him and try and get me to do free shit for 'er!" He gestured to Big Fee with an annoyed look who just smirked down at him. "Hah, Fergy has yet to take me out to dinner first before I actually become his girlfriend!" She shot back at him smugly.
"Hold on, like, time out! How exactly do you know Dolly's fox friend?" Dallas stepped in, directing her question towards Trevor. "Ferg found him digging through trash one night and learned he has no parents. Decided to take him under his wing and teach him how to survive in the streets!" Big Fee was quick to answer, earning a glare from Trevor. "Fuck me, do you really have to spill that to everyone ya talk to?!"
"O!"
"M!"
"D!" The Triple D suddenly exclaimed, each of them exclaiming a letter as they kneeled down to Trevor in infatuation.
"A human child being raised by an urban fox!"
"That is like!"
"Sooooo adorable!" They squeed, especially Destiny as she took out her phone and posed herself as did the other two who hugged Trevor, who looked absolutely confused whilst Destiny made a kissy face at her phone's camera before snapping a picture.
"Bloody 'ell, are they always like this?" Trevor asked me as all I could do was scratch the back of my head with a nervous chuckle. "Ya know, Trev. If ya see Fergus as a dad then why not see me as a mum so then you won't refuse on doing just this teesny little task I want you to-" Big Fee tried to convince Trevor to do what I think I heard him talk about again only for the teenager to shove the rat's face away from his. "The feelin's not mutual, Big Fee. Now please, BUGGER OFF!" He demanded before walking away possibly to find Fergus as Big Fee merely smirked.
"Fine. But one day your luck will run dry and you'll be crawling back to me."
"Not bloody likely, no." Was all Trevor had to say as he didn't forget to wave bye to me before leaving.
"So, Coder. What's your business here?" Big Fee turned her attention to me, leaning her face over to mine with hands on her hips. "Uhh, well the Triple D here are helping me find a potential love interest." Big Fee's eyebrows raised with interest. "Oooh really now? You know my door's open if you're looking for a woman who'll give you a lot of luck in your life, know what I mean?" The rat hinted heavily at me. Even though I could tell she was interested, I don't think a punk rat like her was my type. Plus, I'd probably get a lot of funny looks from people if I was dating Big Fee to be specific. Fortunately, Dallas seemed to read my mind as she pulled me closer to her.
"Uhhh… We'll like, put you into consideration." She said as Big Fee grinned once more before winking at me and taking her leave. "Ugh, absolutely not." Dallas gagged as soon as Big Fee was far away from hearing range of us. "Come along, Cody. Destiny has already called up all the suitors she saw in the area."
Already? Well alright, let's see what we've got.
It was maybe an hour and a half later when we had exhausted through all of my possible significant others and whilst I quite liked the majority of them, they always had these to say.
"I think you're nice and all, but you're just not my type."
"Sorry, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now."
"I'm flattered that you like me, but I'm just not interested."
Probably the harshest response I got from one anthro however was this.
"Yeuch! Seriously?! I'd rather jump off a cliff than be with one of those freakish balding monkeys!"
Yeah, that one didn't particularly do my confidence any favours. Dare I say it was actually rather satisfying to see Dallas give the woman who said that a good hard smack across her cheek for insulting her brother like that. In fact, I read somewhere that both anthros and humans of the higher authority agreed a long time ago that "Monkey" was classed as a derogatory slur towards humans so I'd be damned if I was dating someone racist. Out of the group of female suitors, even Snowball and Roxy partook in it and whilst Roxy looked very eager to be the one for me, she sadly had to decline due to her being several years older than I am. Snowball had to refuse too for the same answer but she did wish me luck in finding a special someone.
At the end, we were all downtrodden. Me especially. It was as if there wasn't a woman in the world who'd show even the slightest hint of interest in me. Deja Vu sat next to me upon noticing my look and tried to lift my spirits.
"H-Hey, don't worry! Nobody gets it the first time! There's always other places we can try." She put a hand to my shoulder to comfort me as I bit the bullet and was about to ask where to go next.
"Would you get away from me already, you creep?!" A voice stopped me as I turned to the source to see a Dalmatian around my age backing away from a male Great Dane who easily towered over her. The Dalmatian in question had a lighter grey pattern of spots compared to the usual black spots my family had. She was in a black tank top with bracelets around her upper arms styled like chains, tight short denim trousers and converse boots. Both her ears black with one of them having a notch at the tip and one of the spots that covered her eye area was shaped more like a heart.
"Oh come on, babe, you know you can't resist some good muscle like mine!" The Dane pleaded, getting uncomfortably close to the Dalmatian whilst flexing one of his arms. Her look of annoyance however didn't change. "Craig, I gave you a chance and you turned into Mr. Grabby Sam, now get away!" She protested. Unable to watch this girl get harassed anymore, I got up and walked over to the Great Dane and tapped on his shoulder, clearing my throat.
"Eh? Get lost, monkey! Can't ya see I'm trying to win someone here!" The Great Dane, Craig growled at me but I didn't budge as I crossed my arms. "Listen buddy, if she says she doesn't want you, then she doesn't want you, now leave her alone." I bluntly said as Craig just scoffed. "And what, you gonna neuter me if I don't? I think you've forgotten who you're talking to!" Craig suddenly gripped the front of my shirt tightly, possibly intending to slam me against the floor.
"Ahem!" I suddenly heard Destiny clear her throat, as Craig and I turned to see her and the others glaring at the Great Dane who's eyes widened upon seeing the triplets. "Holy shit! The real Triple D?!" Craig exclaimed in astonishment, completely forgetting about me as I no longer felt his hand on my shirt. "I'm your biggest fan! Especially whenever you're in those commercials for women's underwear!" His tail wagged excitedly as I held back a groan of disgust on how perverted this dog was. "Oh, our biggest fan, huh?" Destiny asked, feigning a sultry look. "Well, if you really were a big fan, you'd know about our other commercials that feature him." She gestured to me as she said this, Craig looking back at me with a grimace before turning back to the trio.
"Tell you what, ladies. How about you ditch this monkey and I'll show you a real good time with all my muscle." Now I was legitimately getting pissed off. I came to this park for one reason and that wasn't to just be insulted all day and Dallas could see it in my eyes as she approached Craig, giving him bedroom eyes. "Oh, that sounds totally divine." She replied, sounding as infatuated as possible, fluttering her eyes at him before suddenly swinging her leg up as her foot made direct contact with Craig's groin, the pain registering instantly as he let out a long pained whine whilst clutching his crotch with both hands, collapsing to the knees as I heard the Dalmatian girl behind me try to hold back a laugh whilst Destiny leaned down to Craig.
"Call our brother that again and your 'little friends' will be hurting for the rest of your life." She threatened before dusting herself off. I gave a thumbs up to the Triple D before turning to the girl Craig had tried to get with.
"Are you alright?" I asked as she smiled at me. "So your sisters are the Triple D? That's pretty awesome. Never would've guessed that their family had a human with them. A brave one at that too." She complimented as my face went warm a little in response. Wait, why am I blushing? "Ahah, it's no problem. I couldn't just sit there and watch him treat you like an object. My name's Cody, by the way. I'm assuming you aren't related to the Triple D?" I introduced myself before asking her. "Name's Dixie. And nope, no relation. Completely unrelated Dalmatian." That was certainly surprising. Just how many Dalmatian families were there in London?
"Say, I'm free the day after tomorrow if you wanna meet and talk some more here in the park." She suggested. "O-Oh uh, sure! Yeah, I'd be down for that!" I quickly replied as Dixie smiled again and winked at me. "Awesome~ See you tomorrow, Cody." She gave me a little wave before leaving and then I realised just how warm my face was. GAH! Have I seriously been blushing that much the whole time?! I only just met this girl!
"Oooooooooooooooooh!" The Triple D appeared behind me with eager looks on their faces. "You are SO into her!" Dallas beamed as I quickly turned to face them. "W-What?! No I'm not, I just met that girl, stop jumping to conclusions!" I quickly protested, getting flustered in the process.
"Aaaah, I so can't wait for the wedding bells to chime! And then one day, I'll be teaching my little niece all there is to know about glam!" Dallas chimed with a day-dreamy look in her eyes. "Pfft, yeah right! Instead I'll be teaching my little nephew how to care for the world!" Destiny butted in. Jesus, Mary, Mother and Joseph, I just met Dixie and they're already fantasizing about me having kids with her.
"You do know that the chance of Cody and Dixie's kid being a boy or girl is completely random, right?" Deja Vu asked whilst my face rested on my hand in the longest facepalm imaginable.
"Woah-ho, for real?!" Dolly asked when the Triple D delivered the news to her. Mum had grounded Dolly from skateboarding for the rest of the week and also had her help Dylan with the chores as punishment for what she did to the family portrait yesterday, something she told me was acceptable even for her and now she was helping Dylan to prepare dinner for us.
"Oh, so for real! She even seemed really interested in him!" Destiny explained as I just looked away with an embarrassed blush. Dolly leaned her face over to mine with a cheesy grin plastered on her face. "Go for it, bro! If you and Dixie like each other, then you're already a couple!" I held back a groan as Dolly was now convinced just like the Triple D were.
"Aw come on, Dolly, don't tease Cody like that!" Dad came in and patted my head. Finally someone to back me up as he then leaned into my ear and whispered.
"Be sure to treat Dixie well on your first date, son. Give her the most respect like I did with Delilah on our first date!"
Oh god damn it!