A/N: For this story to make any sense, you have to see the movie "Down Periscope" first. Enjoy…

COMSUBLANT

1990

Rear Admiral Graham was in a fouler than normal mood. His molars were killing him, and he hated dentists. But it looked as if he had no choice this time. "Ensign," he hollered at his assistant, "get that quack dentist on the horn and get me an appointment right away. Yesterday!"

Ensign Richmond, Graham's unhappy and unlucky assistant, reached for the telephone to make the appointment. He couldn't wait to escape for lunch. His best friend, William, was due in port today, and he was meeting him for lunch so they could make plans for the weekend. Will was a good guy, even if he was a bit wild. Dave was looking forward to some downtime after dealing with the admiral all week. Healthy, Graham was unbearable. In pain, the man was totally impossible.

~DP~

The accident hadn't been Brad Stepanak's fault. He hadn't been driving, or even drinking. Some moron had run a light and hit the transport jeep head on. Luckily, he'd only wound up with a few cracked ribs out of the deal and would soon be back on sub duty aboard the Seawolf. * For that the engineman would be eternally grateful because he hated shore duty, especially since he was stuck in the dental office doing filing.

It was so much harder to keep his promise to Commander Dodge to keep his nose clean off the sub. He was also looking forward to some time with his girlfriend, as his roommate had made plans to visit a buddy from the base. Will was an okay guy and all, but sometimes they got on each other's nerves.

Brad shuffled the countless file folders as he sorted them. His ears perked up as he heard a familiar name. The receptionist repeated, "No problem, Ensign Richmond. Tell Admiral Graham that Dr. Macias will see him after hours this afternoon at 1730. He should be prepared for anesthesia just in case. He should not drive himself to the appointment."

The receptionist finished the call, but Brad heard none of it. His mind was in overdrive. He had focused on only two words. Admiral Graham and anesthesia. His mind spun back to the events on the Stingray, and "Captain Blood" felt his own blood begin to boil and lust for revenge. He asked for, and received his one-hour meal break, a plan churning in his mind. He'd have to act quickly for this to work, and he wouldn't be able to do it alone, because if Graham spotted him, he was dead in the water, probably literally.

Brad hurried to a phone and called a buddy who worked in a local shop… and then he called Will, who was just headed for his lunch meeting and the great Plan was set into motion. They would all meet just after they got off work, and then make their way back here to the dentist's office. Luckily, Brad had listened when his father talked about his fellow admirals, and he knew of a particular quirk Admiral Graham possessed regarding anesthesia… one he was sure the admiral would never reveal to the dentist.

~DP~

"Gordo" Lido prided himself on being one of the best and fastest tattoo artists in town. He also was willing to make a few extra bucks here and there by being portable when needed. He was also a particular friend of Brad Stepanak's, whom he also counted as a loyal client. When he got Brad's call and heard what the job would be, he was delighted to accommodate his old friend, provided he got twice his usual fee. Brad was happy to guarantee that requirement provided Gordo showed up at the rear of the dentist's office and kept his mouth shut. Gordo used his dependent's ID to get on base, as his father, like Brad's, was an Admiral. Gordo also used his mother's name.

At the appointed hour, Brad and Lido snuck into the storage area of the dental office. Brad had known the door wouldn't be locked yet because Dr. Macias always locked it himself when he left the building. They could hardly stifle their laughter as they heard the whining, keening snore from a thoroughly sedated Graham. He sounded something like a derailing freight train.

The next half hour went like clockwork. Will hadn't come with the others. He called the office from a pay phone, claiming there was an emergency at the hospital for the dentist. Macias decided to leave Graham peacefully asleep under sedation while he rushed to the hospital across the base. His assistant promised to keep an eye on the patient.

Graham was nothing if not consistent and had been abusive of the entire dental staff, so it took very little to convince the dental assistant to look the other way for a few minutes while Lido got to work. He was finished and Graham was still snoring away when a very annoyed Macias returned twenty minutes later. He pulled two teeth, finished with the patient, called Graham's driver, and sent him home to sleep off the anesthesia.

Graham went to the Officers Club and had a few drinks that night to counter the pain from his extractions, and the unrelated and unusual pain that had flared up on his backside. He came home and fell sound asleep and woke up feeling better except for the hangover. He had no recollection of why he should have a brochure for a (rival) tattoo parlor in his pocket… which had been placed there before he left the dentist's office by Lido. Graham simply hadn't noticed it, or the missing $200. from his wallet (Lido's fee.) (In his defense, he had been in a lot of pain before he left for the bar.…)

He went in to take his shower, and that is when it hit the fan. Because Admiral Graham had a large tattoo of a pair of brownnosing kissy lips across his right butt cheek. And he had no idea how it got there. Across town, Captain Blood lay curled in his girlfriend's arms, chuckling to himself. Brad Stepanak was a happy man.

~The End~

A/N: The Seawolf is an actual submarine, the first of the Seawolf-class subs mentioned in the movie. I have taken creative license in fictionalizing her crew for this story.