Dad had never paid this much attention to him before.
The kind that didn't involve punishing him…or ignoring him.
"It won't bend." Said Sho. They were in the kitchen, now, and he was trying to bend a spoon like he had seen on TV. Big sis could bend a spoon with her eyes closed…and she had bent a spoon with her eyes closed. She had bent every single spoon in the drawer trying to show him how it all worked.
"Here, just kind of…push it with your powers I guess." Said Mob as she picked up a spoon she had already bent and twisted it the other way. She thought that had been a good idea. Bending spoons was easy. She had seen it done on TV a million times….and she could do it…but Sho couldn't…
But he finally had powers. That was what mattered the very most.
It was such a good feeling, knowing that Sho had powers, because he had wanted them for so long. Now they were more like brother and sister. Well they had always been brother and sister but now it felt more like they were brother and sister. They didn't look at all alike but they both had powers and stuff. Plus now mom and dad would love them both the same. Now they wouldn't have to divide up their parents anymore. Mom could love her and Sho the same and Dad could love Sho and her the same and everyone could love everyone else and they could all do powers stuff or play games or watch movies or go to the park or all of the other things that families did together.
This was really nice.
"I'm trying but nothing's happening." Said Sho. He could make himself glow red and that was it….not that he was complaining! He was finally what he was supposed to be. Who he was supposed to be. Who he had wanted to be for his whole, entire life! He had powers…sort of…
Nothing like what dad could do
And nothing like what big sis could do. Big sis was his sister…but she was so much better at this than he was. She was older, too, which was why she was better at things like school stuff…but this was different. She had been born with her powers and he had only gotten them just the other day….and that just was not fair. He knew that he should have been grateful to even have powers in the first place, most people didn't including his very own mom, but it was just….dad was paying attention to him. That was what mattered. Not the fact that big sis was so much better at this than he was.
"Focus Son, always focus." Said Suzuki as he tried to get his son to do…anything! Anything besides let his aura show. Right now he was little better than one of the awakened. It had been a pleasant surprise when he finally realized what that mysterious aura had been. It had been his son being mentally traumatized by the sound of his parents having intercourse. It had been a relief, at the time, both because his son had powers and because nobody was coming after his family….but now it was just an annoyance.
His son was still very far behind where he should have been.
And wasn't that just the worst. Suzuki had thought that what he wanted more than anything else was for his son to finally, finally, finally be something other than a complete and utter disappointment. Well now….he had powers, that was good…but he was still so far behind what he could have been. Not like Daughter. Daughter was more like him. Effortless power. He thought that he wanted a son with powers more than anything else in the world but now he knew that what he had really wanted was a worthy successor.
One that shared his blood.
"I am focusing, dad. I've been focusing this whole time." Said Sho as he stared at the spoon in his hands. He wanted it do what he was telling it to do. He was screaming at it in his mind to bend. Sho knew that he should have been grateful to even have powers in the first place…and dad was finally hanging out with him…
But he was looking at Sho like he was gum at the bottom of his shoe.
He never looked at big sis like that.
"Show him again, Daughter." Said Suzuki. He exorcised the emotions this evoked within him. Son was his flesh and blood but he couldn't do even a millionth of what Daughter had been capable of when he acquired her. Daughter didn't share a drop of his blood, a strand of his DNA, and yet she eclipsed his natural born child in every way imaginable. That wasn't fair…to borrow a phrase from the children…but life was not fair.
To other people.
Life was more than fair to him.
"Ok…but I don't know how else to explain it, though. I just sort of…do this." said Mob. She tried to slow the process down as much as she could…and she also tried to remember that there was even a process to this in the first place. She reached out with her powers slowly and untwisted the spoon in her hand…and then she retwisted it. Slowly, maybe, like they demonstrated things at school. Mob wished that they taught powers at school. If they had then maybe she would have been better at helping him with this like she was when she helped him with his homework. She wished that this was as simple as hiranga and counting practice. Maybe if she wished hard enough it would come true. Her wish for him to have powers came true after all.
"I'm doing everything that you guys are doing but it still won't work." Said Sho. He wanted to throw the spoon across the room but he didn't. Dad was there and he may not have been looking at Sho like he was a person but he was at least looking at Sho without punishing him. That was better than he'd gotten in a while.
He had powers, dad loved him now, and he should have been grateful.
"Evidently you aren't." said Suzuki. He needed to keep calm, keep patient, and exorcise any and all negative emotions that this little exercise was bringing to life within him. Masami wouldn't have liked it if she caught him losing his temper with the children. With Son. Daughter was still doing just fine…and he had no reason to lose his temper with her….she was doing nothing wrong at all. She was just being what she was supposed to be. He had acquired her because he had never met an esper of her skill.
Though, maybe, some part of himself had been holding out hope that the child he had fathered would eclipse the child that he had adopted. He was the true protagonist of this world, it's rightful ruler, and yet his own son had been weighed and measured and found wanting. His own son. The one that he made. The one that shared his blood, half his genes. The other child, the one he acquired, the one who came from nothing, was a more worthy successor than his own son.
"It's ok Sho. You'll get it. If you just try harder then-" said Mob. She had been patting him on the back and trying to make him feel better. She could see his colors now, which was so much more than what had been able to do before, and she was so happy for him. She was so happy that he could finally be there with her and dad. She was just so happy.
But also she wasn't.
Because he wasn't happy. She could tell. She could tell with him sometimes. He looked like he was about to break something or yell or something. It made sense, dad had said some very mean stuff to him, and Mob had just been trying to make him feel better. To make this better for him. He had gotten everything he ever wanted and…and now he was still so upset…and it wasn't fair.
"I am trying!" said Sho. He pushed her hand away. She pulled her hand back and just sort of looked at him. He didn't know what it was that she was looking for. It wasn't fair. Even though he had finally gotten his powers….he wasn't anything like her. Even now she had still been born right and he had still been born wrong. Dad still liked her the most, too, because she was stronger than he was.
Dad was still looking at him like he was shoe gum.
Dad never looked at her like that. Dad always talked to her like she was a person. Dad always looked at her like she was a person. Dad…it was hard to be believe that dad really loved him. Mom said that dad loved him and moms could not lie….but maybe she was just wrong. Moms could be wrong about things, like the time mom tried to make a cake in the microwave but just made burnt stuff. Maybe that was like. He had always thought that dad would treat him like big sis…but at least he wasn't punishing him, now, which was better than Sho ever could have asked for.
"Behave." Said Suzuki. He did not want to deal with them when they were like that. Quarrelsome. Children could be so very quarrelsome sometimes. Or maybe they were like this all the time. He had never been home for so long before, such a long stretch, but he could not afford to leave. Nothing had come up that needed his personal touch, not yet, and he couldn't leave just as Son finally became able to do…something. He couldn't just up and leave now…and also Masami had asked him to stay.
She asked him for a lot of things.
Some of the things that she asked for he…he wasn't sure what that he was supposed to…to do. To feel. To want. She was….she was a lot to him, the only being on Earth who could be said to have power over him. She wanted him around and he…well he would be around more. He couldn't very well leave at the present moment, now could he? She wanted him to spend more time with their children. Well at least now it wouldn't be quite the exercise in frustration it had been before. In aggravation. Children, small children, really were annoying beings. Loud and impulsive. Completely illogical in their thought processes…or maybe just Son. Daughter had been shaping up rather well….and it should have been Son.
If he could swap their places, Son and Daughter's, he would have long ago.
Let Son be the foundling, the changeling child given up by ordinary people who had no hope of caring for him. A child with a thought process and a mind so foreign to his that had he not been there when Son had been born he would have thought that his son had been the changeling, not his daughter. He wondered why this had to happen to him….or in general. Children were supposed to be a reflection of their parents but he couldn't see anything of himself within his son besides the red hair, pale skin, and blue eyes.
"Yes dad." Said Mob. Sho was still upset and she wanted to try and comfort him again but dad was, probably, upset with them. Parents didn't like it when their kids fought, mom had said so. Mob was glad that mom was laying down in her room and not around to see this. Mob wasn't trying to fight with Sho, he was her little brother and she loved him, but somehow they had found themselves fighting…and she didn't understand why. This should have been a good thing, the two of them practicing with their powers and stuff, but he was still all upset.
And she just could not understand why.
"I am trying." Said Sho. He crossed his arms and sat back in his chair. Dad was still looking at him, and still looking at him like he was shoe gum, and he felt like shoe gum. He thought that he had wanted powers…but what he had really wanted were powers like big sis had. Like dad had. All he got were…pretty much nothing.
"Try harder." Said Suzuki. Stress, fear, pain, these were the things which awakened latent psychic powers. Sho was still too young for one of the awakening machines, he was too small to fit in one and the process might have been enough to kill him as well, but maybe provoking him might get some sort of reaction or…something. Anything. Suzuki knew that he was at his most powerful when he was emotionally out of control. The same went for Daughter even though she was not, truly, his daughter. The same may have been for Sho as well. At this point he was willing to try everything short of tossing Boy off of the roof.
"I've been trying as hard as I can." Said Sho. Fine. If dad was going to look at him like he was shoe gum then he was going to give dad the exact same look right back. He crossed his arms and kicked his feet and gave dad the meanest look he could manage.
"Well then I am sorely disappointed in you." Said Suzuki as his son glared at him with all of the anger and resentment a five, almost six, year old could muster. If Masami had been there she would have scooped him up and comforted him. She was softhearted like that. Suzuki was not softhearted. Son had awakened twice now. Once from the psychological damage of hearing his parents having sex and the other time when he had been quarreling with Daughter over whatever it was that children quarreled about. Stress seemed to be the trigger….
Being thrown off of the roof would not have, necessarily, been enough to kill him….
"Let's play something else. Come on, Sho, let's go play outside. I could push you really hard on the swing-" said Mob. She needed to get Sho away from Dad. They were going to fight, it looked like, and either way Sho was not happy there. Even if he and dad weren't going to fight, even if dad wasn't saying mean things, Sho shouldn't have had to be in any place where he was not happy. She was his big sister, it was her job to protect him and to make him happy.
"It's like you're not even trying." Said Suzuki. Daughter seemed to have grown bored with this. That was fine, she could go. This was child's play to her anyway. Son was the one who needed this. Boy was the one who needed the practice. Daughter…she was fine. She was more than fine…she eclipsed Son in every measureable way…
And it wasn't fair.
"I'm trying. I've been trying, dad, this whole entire time! It's not like you're showing me how to do anything, anyway, you're just telling me to do stuff. When mom wants to teach us something new she shows us first. Like when she taught us how to brush our teeth and stuff. You're supposed to tell people how to do something if you want them to do stuff." Said Sho. Big sis was tugging on him, now, but he was not moving. He was still looking at dad all meanly and he still deserved it. Why couldn't dad be more like mom? Why couldn't Sho himself be more like big sis? Why couldn't everyone be more like everyone else?
"You shouldn't have to be shown. You should just know. It should just be instinct." Said Suzuki. He didn't let himself feel any of the frustration that grew within him. He couldn't. He could not lose control, not when he was trying to get Son to lose control. Not when Daughter was sitting right there. He had to set a good example for his daughter.
For Daughter.
"Sho I could…um…I could swing you over the bar again, little brother. Do you remember how cool that was? That you thought that it was? How you went right over two times? Remember? How you went so fast?" said Mob. She didn't much want to swing Sho over the bar again, that had been scary and mom had been upset with her, but she didn't want Sho and dad to fight. She didn't want anyone to fight with anyone else. Why couldn't her family just get along? People were supposed to get along with one another.
"…it's not." Said Sho quietly. He didn't know why he had been born wrong and big sis had been born right. He didn't know why even when dad paid attention to him it still hurt. Even if he wasn't being punished it still hurt so much. Being with mom never hurt like this. Maybe, even though he had powers now, things were still the same. Mom was his and dad was for big sis and that was just the way that their family was. He wished that dad would stop looking at him like that, like he was shoe gum, and look at him like he was a person. Like he was big sis. But he wasn't big sis, he was only Sho, and he wanted….he was a bad little brother, then, for wanting the things that he wanted. He, for half of a millisecond, wanted to be an only child. At least if he were an only child then dad wouldn't have had anyone to compare him to.
"Come on, I can put you up high in the tree, too, and you can try and catch squirrels and-" said Mob. She tugged on Sho again and he just pushed her away. She didn't know what she was supposed to do. Well she could just carry him away…but that would have been mean. She was strong enough to pick him up with her powers and just carry him away but…but that would not have been a nice thing to do at all. You weren't supposed to use your powers on other people. Mom had said that.
"Daughter, if you want to go and play then go and play. I'm not done with your brother yet but you can go.' Said Suzuki simply. She must have been bored. Why wouldn't she? This was well below what she was capable of. She was like him in that way. She knew what she was and she knew that she should not have had to waste her time like this. The world could be a very boring place, sometimes, when you were the true protagonist of it.
"Big sis, just-" said Sho. He wished that she would just go off and play on her own…and he was a terrible little brother for feeling like that. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He wanted to be with and he wanted to be alone. He wanted to be with dad and he wanted to be alone. He wanted…he wanted a lot of things right then and he couldn't understand it and it was just so hard-
And he could see it, again, the colors. The red. His color of red.
"I want to play with Sho." said Mob. She needed to get Sho away from dad before he got punished. She needed to keep her brother safe….but not…but yes. Even safe from dad. Dad loved them both, he was their dad and he had to, but he could also be very mean to them…to Sho. Like right then. He was being meaner to Sho then than she had ever seen or heard him be in her entire six, almost seven, years of life.
"He's busy. Go and play by yourself." Said Suzuki. He was having some trouble understanding her, there, why she wouldn't just be by herself. He hadn't had a friend in the world when he was her age and he had done just fine. Besides, her brother was her rival now…even though there was no real rivalry between them. She was so assured of herself, her position in the world, that she didn't see her brother getting his powers as a threat to her place. So assured. His child.
"…yes dad." Said Mob. She didn't want to make whatever this was worse. She wanted her family to get along and if that meant her leaving Sho alone with dad….even though it felt wrong….she would. She would because nothing good ever came from making dad mad. They had to make dad happy when he was home. That was how this family worked.
"And don't wake your mother. She's very tired today." Said Suzuki as Daughter left the table to go off and do…whatever it was that little girls did with their time. Now it was just him and Boy…who still looked very sullen. Angry. But nowhere near exploding. Losing control. The only difference was that his aura was clearly visible. That was almost nothing.
This was so frustrating.
"…she's always tired…." Muttered Sho. He wanted to go, too. He wanted to go and play with big sis. He even wanted to go and be with mom even though she was tired, maybe even sick again, because anything was better than being with dad. Dad who kept on looking at him like he was shoe gum. Sho gum.
That was what he was to dad, gum. Sho gum.
But being looked at like he was Sho gum was much better than being punished or ignored.