Title: Who Knows What?
Disclaimer: Yeah, like if I really owned it I'd be wasting my time typing this up online instead of hacking away at the shows scripts…
Summary: Two of our favorite CSIs are involved and aren't telling the lab. But who really knows what?
A/N: First of all, I'm upping the rating a bit for this chapter due to one naughty word. Anyways, the second chapter wasn't as hard as the first one was… I think because I had more of an idea of what I wanted in the big picture. Or maybe because I was wearing my cool blue socks the night I wrote this. Whichever…but either way, here it is. Enjoy!
Chapter 2: Sara
(Sara's PoV)
It's weird, because I was just so hung up on Grissom. Which in itself is ridiculous, because to even be a blip on his radar I'd have to compete with roaches and fetal pigs and one very large tarantula. I was completely oblivious to anything or anyone else though; I'd never had such great male presences in my life, and when you're in the state I was in, even Grissom looks like he's got it together. I put the man on a pedestal, which wasn't fair to anyone. But he was unattainable, and that was safe.
I got over that soon enough.
And there was Nick.
Nick is everything Grissom couldn't be; friendly and approachable. He has an easy, southern "aw-shucks" grin that's just completely contagious, and you can really tell he cares about people. About me. I started coming around.
And the only thing I could think of the first time he kissed me was "It's about damn time". I vaguely remember twining my arms around his neck to draw him closer and he must have responded favorably because we've been doing it ever since.
It scared me. It still does, a little bit. Because, unlike Grissom, Nick was interested and he was someone I could really grow to care about. Someone I could depend on. And that scared me beyond anything. Nick is just so great, and it makes me wonder sometimes why he wants to be with me. I've got a heap of emotional baggage, and that just never seemed fair to dump on him.
I think he always guessed there was something off, in the beginning. But he never confronted me about anything, or pushed. He trusted me to tell him in my own time.
And when I say tell him, I mean everything. I told him about my own insecurities, and about Grissom. I told him about my parents and about my screwed up childhood. After I got it all out, I felt like a huge idiot. Some nagging voice in my head that sounded strangely like Grissom kept asking me, why would Nick want to know any of that? The silence hung in the air, and I was just so vulnerable.
I hate feeling vulnerable.
But Nick snaked his arms around my waist and peppered kisses on my jaw line, making a trail to my ear. "I'm glad you told me" he said, and I didn't feel so vulnerable anymore.
That's another thing about Nick; he listens and reaches out and can make me feel safe by doing something as simple as trailing a finger up my arm. Grissom wouldn't come near me with a 10-foot pole sometimes, and even though somewhere deep inside of me I knew that, and counted on it, it still hurt. But Nick hugs me like he'll never let go, and I love that. I need that contact more than I'll ever admit.
Even at work, which is dangerous territory. For as much as I warn him we'll get caught, or protest when he lures me to some secluded part of the lab during break, I always look forward (a bit guiltily) to when he kisses me like he does when we're alone. Some days he just can't keep his hands to himself.
Not that I really mind. But I don't want to get caught at work.
Because no one but us knows yet. I know we'll get around to telling them eventually, but its working for us the way it is now. I don't want to open it up for public scrutiny. I don't want people to question us together. Neither of us could handle that.
Even though I've got Nick now, and we go out and watch movies or go bowling or something, work is still a huge part of my life. It was pretty much all I had for a while, and you just don't let go of something like that. I don't think I could take it if someone called into question my professionalism. Or Nick's, for that matter.
We'll tell them sometime, but for now we've got a good thing going, and I figure, if it isn't broken, I won't try to fix it.
End Chapter 2
A/N: Up next is a chapter from Catherine's point of view. So hurry and review before you're inclined to review the next one :D Heh heh… see you next chapter!