Look! We're not dead! Here's a new chapter; we'll try to update more regularly from now on. Many thanks to all of our reviewers.

Narrator: Now we will switch scenes to Kirk and Company. This company includes the four red-shirts who are still remaining. They are all still stuck in the sand and have really no hope of getting out.

McCoy: Now there's an optimist for you.

Sulu: No, I agree. Everyone here is too weak to even lift their own weight. I, on the other hand, could easily get out. I was known as Mighty-Man Sulu, back in Japan.

Kirk: Me? Weak? Who threw that Klingon in the lava pit? Now, that was great.

Uhura: Well I'm to the only one of you bozos who can manage to stay out of fights. I bet you go through more uniforms every day then I do in a year.

Kirk: That's because you're too feminine. (thinking) Which actually isn't a bad thing.

McCoy: Well nobody can beat the amazing doctor who comes to people's rescue practically every time a landing party beams down.

Chekov: You don't usually rescue the red-shirts. In fact, your most used line is "He's dead, Jim."

McCoy: Well, even I can't break the curse of a red-shirted ensign. Their stupidity isn't my fault.

Red Shirt 2: I once squashed a spider all by myself. I think it was a Daddy Long Legs. I still have the scar from were it bit me.

Narrator: The other red-shirts stretch their necks, trying to get a look at the scar on his face. They oooh and ahhh.

McCoy: (sighs) Daddy Long-legs don't bite. Not people, anyway.

Kirk: Well, he is a red-shirt.

McCoy: Good point.

Chekov: So, Hikaru, if you're so mighty then why don't you pull yourself out of ze sand?

Sulu: I will... in a minute...

Narrator: Sulu struggles against the sand for a minute or two but then stops, exhausted.

Sulu: Okay, so maybe I was fibbing a little, about the 'Mighty-Man Sulu' thing.

Chekov: I thought so. Now how about you, Keptin?

Kirk: Err... I... heh heh.. don't really feel like it at the moment...

Uhura: (rolls eyes) Men. They act all macho, but they're really wimps.

Kirk: Who are you calling a wimp!

Uhura: You. I should think that would be obvious.

Kirk: What! Listen, Lieutenant, you don't talk to your captain that way! In another minute I'm going to come over there and—

Uhura: But have you forgotten, Captain? You're stuck in the sand. Which means that I can say anything I want and you can't do a thing about it.

Kirk: Well, you better hope I don't find a way out. They say people can perform amazing feats of strength during periods of great stress.

Spock: Captain, I would like-

Uhura: (ignoring Spock) Good. Let's get the captain all stressed. Then he can get out of the sand and help us dig our way out.

Sulu: Great idea.

Chekov: I'm in.

McCoy: Stress can be very bad for your heart. Once we're done, I'd better get him back to the ship so I can give him a physical.

Spock: Captain, If you-

Kirk: (interrupting) Bones! You wouldn't be that cruel, would you?

Chekov: There's nothing wrong with getting stressed out, especially if it gives you hidden strength.

McCoy: I've also heard that it gives you hidden intellect sometimes.

Sulu: I think the only intelligence Kirk has is hidden.

Kirk: At least I'm smart enough to know the difference in ranks between us, Lieutenant Sulu!

Spock: Captain, may I-

McCoy: Maybe, while we're at it we could stress out Spock! He's got to have some hidden strength.

Spock: Vulcans do not experience stress. That is a human characteristic, as are most illogical and unnecessary traits, such as interrupting. Captain, do you-

McCoy: (interrupting) Humans do not interrupt! At least, not any more then most species.

Spock: Might I finish my sentence?

McCoy: Why don't you just interrupt me? Or would that be too human? (gasps) That's too horribly human for Mister Vulcan, The King of Logic.

Spock: King of Logic? That is—

McCoy: Illogical. All right, fine, go ahead and talk.

Spock: Captain, would you like assistance getting out of the sand?

Narrator: They all turn to look, and see that Spock has somehow managed to dig himself out of the sand. He is sitting calmly on top of the sand behind where the red-shirts' heads are.

Kirk: (shocked) Spock! You're out of the sand!

Spock: There is no need to state the obvious, Captain. I believe you require assistance?

Kirk: What? No, of course we don't require assistance. At least, I don't.

McCoy: Jim, are you crazy? Of course we need help! How did you manage to get out, Spock?

Kirk: Hmmph. Well, maybe you need help, but I sure don't. After all, I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. If Spock can get out without help, then I'm sure I can.

McCoy: Sure, Jim. You do that.

Narrator: Spock walks over to where McCoy is buried and begins to help him dig himself out.

Sulu: Commander, you can reach your communicator now. Why don't you just call the Enterprise and have them beam us up?

Spock: (still helping dig McCoy out) That would be the logical course of action, except that my communicator was lost in the sand.

McCoy: Hah! Spock lost something! And he admits it!

Spock: Doctor, losing things is something that happens to everyone from time to time. And in this case there was very little that I could have done to prevent it.

McCoy: Yeah, well, I used to wait for you to make a mistake to criticize you, but that hardly ever happened. So I settled for losing things.

Spock: You enjoy criticizing people?

McCoy- Well, of course. Who doesn't? It raises my self esteem.

Sulu: Awwwww. Is the doctor getting depressed?

McCoy: No, but if you don't be quiet, you're going to be.

Sulu: How can you hurt me? We're both stuck in the...

Narrator: Sulu realized that McCoy has managed to free himself and is walking over to him, shaking sand out of his shirt.

Sulu: I mean, I, the lowly Helmsman, am stuck in this horrible sand. I beseech you, wonderful doctor, to please help me out even though I am utterly below your level of intelligence.

McCoy: Wow. My self-esteem was boosted without me having to insult anyone.

Sulu: So could you help me?

McCoy: Convince me to.

Sulu: Grrrrrrr. Forget it. Spock, please?

Narrator: Spock goes over and helps Sulu out of the sand.

McCoy: Spock, you're a party pooper, did you know that?

Spock: I am aware of many of the human insults you associate with me, but I was not aware I was also a party-pooper.

McCoy: Well, now you know.

Spock: I will be sure to record that for future reference.

McCoy: That's pretty sarcastic for a Vulcan.

Spock: Vulcans are not sarcastic.

McCoy: Right. Just like they never lie.

Narrator: McCoy and Spock then dig Chekov, and the remaining 4 ensigns out of the sand.

Uhura: Oh course, you just had to wait and do me last! I should have been first; after all, I am a lady.

Kirk: I think you ought to be strong enough to dig yourself out. After all, I believe I recall that the last time we beamed down to this planet you single-handedly ripped a metal beam out of the transporter room floor.

Sulu: Where did that beam go, anyway?

Uhura: We left it down on the planet, remember? In the room where we found the communicators.

Sulu: (musing) I wonder if it's still there.

Uhura: Never mind the beam, help me out of the sand!

Thanks so much for reading! The next chapter will be up before long, hopefully!