Aaaand here's the next chapter of randomness! Many thanks to our reviewers!
Narrator: As our characters help Uhura to escape the sand, Doctor Death has begun to put his recently concocted evil scheme into action. He is now rounding up all of the clones. So far he has Little Sulu, Little Uhura, Little Spock, Little McCoy, Little Snodgrass and Little Narrator cornered in, well, a corner. Little Doctor Death is helping. Hey, leave my clone alone!
Doctor Death: No. I'm getting rid of these kids—all of them!
Narrator: Doctor Death approaches Little Kirk and tries to drive him into the corner. Little Kirk refuses to budge.
Little Kirk: I don't take orders from the likes of you!
Doctor Death: Why, you impudent little—(he tries to grab Little Kirk, but the six-year-old dodges and kicks his ankle) Aaaargh! #$& kids!
Alania: (grins) Watch your language. There are children here, you know.
Doctor Death: (glares at her) You are not funny, you know.
Narrator: Then Doctor Death pulls out a wicked looking gun.
Doctor Death: (soberly) I'm sorry it had to come to this... (grins) Actually, I'm not really. Now, we're going to play a game. It's called Herding the Little Clones By Force If Necessary. By the time I count to ten, I want all of you, excluding my clone, into that room over there. (gestures toward room labeled Cage) If you don't get there in ten seconds, I'm going to... help you. Okay? One...
Little Kirk: We're not afraid of you and your toy gun!
Little McCoy: Speak for yourself! (Runs into room)
Little Sulu: Karate doesn't work against guns! He's cheating!
Little Uhura: That thing might mess up my pigtails. (follows Little McCoy)
Little Snodgrass: I may not be a red-shirted ensign yet, but that still doesn't make me invincible. (runs after Little Uhura)
Little Chekov: Wait for me! (runs after Little Snodgrass)
Little Alania: Ooooooh. A cage. Monkeys live in cages!
Little Pearlgirl: No they don't, sillyhead. Camping Barbie and Kelly sleep in cages.
Little Alania: That's caves! There's a difference!
Narrator: The little Authors bicker and run into the room.
Little Narrator: I guess I'd better go in there too.
Doctor Death: Seven...eight...
Little Kirk: We're not scared! If I had my miniature phaser with the flashing lights and extra batteries, you wouldn't be talking to me like this!
Little Sulu: Since you don't have it with you, I think I'll take my chances in the cage. (follows the other eight clones)
Little Spock: That would seem to be the logical conclusion. (follows Little Sulu)
Doctor Death: Ninnnnnneeee...(leans over to Little Kirk) I'm almost done counting. Just one more number left. Are you sure you want me to use force?
Little Kirk: Stupid. Only Jedis can use the Force.
Doctor Death: Huh?
Little Doctor Death: (kicks Little Kirk) Do what he says.
Little Kirk: (kicks back) I don't have to do what you say!
Little Doctor Death: Don't kick me! (hits Little Kirk)
Doctor Death: All right, that's enough. Stop fighting, clone, or I'll throw you in the cage too.
Little Doctor Death: Aww, you're no fun. (pouts)
Little Kirk: (sticks out tongue at Little Doctor Death) Pthpthpt!
Doctor Death: All right, that's it. (grabs Little Kirk and throws him into the room labeled 'Cage' and shuts door) There, that gets those clones out of the way.
Narrator: I think you're being a little bit cruel.
Doctor Death: Well, I think that your opinion doesn't matter one iota. I'm the one in charge here.
Pearlgirl: Actually (smiles) we're the ones in charge here. We're the Authors, remember?
Doctor Death: Yeah, sure. Just get out of the way while I fix my cloning machine.
Alania: (snickers) Look who's in a bad mood today.
Doctor Death: (snarling) I'm not in a bad mood!
Pearlgirl: (grins) Sure, that's what they all say.
Doctor Death: (points gun at Pearlgirl) In a minute I'm really going to be in a bad mood.
Pearlgirl: Okay, okay. I get the point.
Doctor Death: You can join those clones if you want, anytime. They're having plenty of fun in there. It's one of my inventions.
Snodgrass: What exactly is it?
Doctor Death: It's a huge mouse maze. There's cheese at the other end. I figured since little kids have about the brain sizes of rodents, they'd enjoy trying to find the cheese.
Snodgrass: What if they're allergic to dairy products?
Doctor Death: Nobody asked you!
Snodgrass: (hastily) Don't get mad! I'm just a red-shirt!
Pearlgirl: Yeah. They're an endangered species, you know. They're slowly going extinct. It's so sad. (sniffs)
Doctor Death: (sarcastically) What a pity. If they vanished from the face of the earth, who would trip over wires and wreck scientists' machinery?
Alania: (sniffs) Wait a minute, I smell cheese!
PearlGirl: Duuuuh. There's cheese at the end of the maze.
Alania: CHEEESE! I'm going to get me some cheese! (disappears)
PearlGirl: (Laughs) She forgot all we have to do it write it in. (Shrugs) Oh well. While she's gone, I have complete control over the story! Muahahahahaha! I can do whatever I want!
Doctor Death: Can you make my machine work so I can clone you—I mean, so I can do nice things that would be mutually beneficial?
PearlGirl: Maaaaaybe. But first, I want to bring someone in. (snaps fingers)
Narrator: A guy in a French hat appears.
Guy In French Hat: Huh? Why am I here?
PearlGirl: Don't you loooooove French accents? And hats with fluffy feathers? (she grabs the man's hat and puts it on) I'm French!
French Guy: No you're not! Give me back my hat!
PearlGirl: No! Let me introduce myself. I'm PearlGirl, and you're Javert from Les Miserables, which is a really good musical and book, although the book is rather long.
Javert: I need to go back and capture that convict!
PearlGirl: First, sing your song!
Narrator: Alania appears with a handful of cheese.
Alania: (eating cheese; looks around and sees Javert) What did I miss?
Pearlgirl: Rats, she's back! Uh, I mean, hi Alania! You got here just in time to hear Javert sing!
Alania: (frowns) Don't you think we ought to get back to the story?
Pearlgirl: (sighs) You're probably right. (to Javert) Well, it was nice seeing you. Try to stay away from bridges.
Javert: Huh?
Narrator: Pearlgirl snaps her fingers and Javert disappears.
Pearlgirl: There. After that completely random interlude, the story may now continue.
Doctor Death: And perhaps I may repair my cloning machine without any further interruptions?
Pearlgirl: (smiles) Perhaps.
Oh horrors! What will happen to the poor imprisoned clones? And will the story ever get back on track! Stay tuned for the next installment of (insert clever and witty title here)!