Title: Who Knows What?
Disclaimer: It's not mine, I'm just borrowing it.
Summary: Two of our favorite CSIs are involved and aren't telling the lab. But who really knows what?
A/N: Just so you know, I got the information on pheromones and bugs and stuff (ick… bugs) from the encyclopedia sitting right her on my shelf. I know you all were wondering…
Chapter 7: Grissom
(Grissom's PoV)
It scared me, how attracted I was to her. I guess I still am. But I didn't know why. Yes, she's intelligent and fun and beautiful, but when you think about it, so's Catherine, and I'm not interested in her in any other capacity than my closest friend, and an amazing worker. So what was so different about Sara?
I delved into my entomology books, foolishly hoping that perhaps, buried amongst the wingspan of a monarch and the lifespan of the pill bug, was an explanation of the feelings which were becoming harder to suppress.
I didn't know what to do, so I turned to my books, as usual. And, in a way, I found my answer.
A pheromone is "any chemical or mixture of chemicals produced by a living organism that transmits a certain message to others of the same species". Their existence and uses concerning insects are the primary focuses in many experiments and texts, although many vertebrates communicate in the same way. The existence of human pheromones is highly debated; a question that, as of yet, is without an answer.
Before Sara, I would not have given the theory a second thought; there was just no proof. But now… Sara and my unbidden attraction to her is evidence enough for me.
But is still scare me beyond anything, because I just don't understand.
Insects I get: certain pest species, including the Japanese beetle and the gypsy moth, can be trapped using insect pheromones, or can be confused by them, ensuring they do not mate, and therefore lay no eggs. Male moths can detect pheromones of the females from kilometers away, thanks to a specialized sense of smell. All this I get; its fact and its logic and its written in front of me in black and white.
But relationships and feelings aren't. Those things I often liken to my experiments, but with far too many variables to produce understandable results.
Even so, I'm not blind. I suppose it took me a little long to figure out, but eventually I realized Sara had…given up on me. And who would she turn to but Nick? In a way no one would have guessed, they were good for each other.
But where does that leave me?
In the insect world, there is a species called the rhinoceros beetle, named so for the horn protruding from its head. A male rhinoceros beetle will use that horn in mating battles against other males. But that didn't happen here. I didn't fight, because I didn't see my competitor. Which begs the question; had I known Nick was…well, if he was in the picture, would I have fought?
The thing that kills me is, I'm not sure I would've.
I have a job to think about, and to act on the feelings I have for Sara, I'd have to risk that. It was safer for me not to.
Looking back, I think I thought she'd always be an option; that she'd wait for me forever. That I could afford to keep her at arms length and she'd still be there. I enjoyed having that option of being with her, even though I didn't do anything about it. I foolishly and selfishly thought I would always have that choice.
Everyone can tell that Nick and Sara are happy. It's just a matter of time before they come out and say it.
So, as it turns out, I was wrong.
End Chapter 7
A/N: There, another completed fic. I hoped you guys like it, thanks for reading, and let me know what you thought :D