Authors note: As ever I own nothing
A Thing For Her
Ducking his head at the glares from Sirius, he tried to walk away, his other two lovers had left to organise the troops as it were, leaving Sirius and Severus to make preparations, which so far mostly consisted of an uncomfortable glare from Sirius and the blank refusal to acknowledge it from Sev.
"You've always had a thing for her"
"I'm gay." No question though over who her was, there was no reason to, they'd all noticed it, around most people Sev was sharp and sarcastic, around her though he kept his temper in check and did his best to be polite, his hard edges softer, and he'd blush.
"So? You have, you've always had a thing for her, even when she was a seventh year and you were a lowly first year, you'd trail round like a puppy," If anything his glare intensified, he was tempted to go closer to the other but past experiences had shown the folly of cornering him.
"Never knew I was so interesting as a lowly first year" Came the replying snarl, followed by a deep blush that crept far below the high necked collar, "You don't think she knew do you?"
"Doubt it, she was wrapped up in Arthur, they were already dating back then, and she was doing her own trailing, so you admit it, and you know we noticed you as soon as we met you,"
"And how grateful I was for that attention" the glare turned to a look of shame at the bitter tone; it was something that neither had forgotten. For all Severus had let go of past grievances, he would never forget the years of pure hell at Hogwarts, starting with the eventful first meeting on the train. That meeting had set the pace for the next five years of hell, constantly four against one, being beaten beyond belief most the time, having to crawl to Madam Pomfrey almost daily sometimes, being berated for fighting, having to endure more hell just to be healed in an effort to be taught not to fight. Often with the others in the next cubicles wittering on about how he'd attacked them.
Flashing glaring eyes at Sirius, watching as the mutt backed away, For all he'd apologised, for all his excuses that he'd been interested in Sev, for all the talk of how it was his way of showing his affection, he knew they both knew the truth, he'd punished him for it, punished him for making him feel confused, uneasy, even back at that young age. If it had been vice versa, he'd have hexed the bastard off the face of the earth. One day they'd talk about what happened more than the apologies and the suggestions to move on, probably when Sev was so worn out he couldn't lift his wand, To be honest he wasn't sure how Remus had gotten him to forgive him, sure the wolf within saw him as a Mate, but it didn't excuse the years of persecution, the sweetly worded lies, the damage he'd done.
"Why did you forgive him, Remus I mean, he was as much involved in the whole thing as any of us. He may have stopped but he wouldn't have and you know it, if it hadn't been for the Shack incident" He paled as the words came tumbling out of his mouth, and backed up against the wall, ready to bolt for the door, as Sev looked down at the floor.
"You mean the attempted murder of two people incident surely, Black" They were back to Black again, the word spitting at him like a bullet, before sitting where he stood, his wand thrown to Sirius, obviously not trusting himself with it if they were going to open old wounds. Not that he particularly needed the wand, but it helped to calm both of them.
"I could lie and say it wasn't meant to kill you"
"Like you said, it would be a lie, if it wasn't for Lucius that night I'd have been what, raped? But your intention was to kill me, how it must have stung to discover that another of your foursome shared the same feelings you did, and the others just accepted them. I hope it burned when he became my mate, all because of you" the words soft and hissing, his eyes burning coals as they stared holes into Black.
"My aim was to kill you"
There was silence as Sirius slumped down to the floor, holding his head in his hands, his knees tucked up close to his chest, not meeting the gaze of the other.
"You know the others are naïve enough to believe that tosh about you just wanting to play a prank. You wont dissuade them of this." This was greeted with a small nod.
"My minds whirring with excuses, how I was homophobic, I mean how can a gay guy be homophobic, how I just wanted to stop feeling the way I did, that if you were gone then I would be normal, how really I knew that you wouldn't die, you were too good at survival. But honestly it's all weak excuses, I wanted you to die. I never even considered Remus into it, just how could I kill you.
"'S when I lost my faith in Dumbledore, we never had much faith in him, nor in the professors, it was clear to everyone that we were the worst kind of bullies. Hell I think everyone was afraid that if they didn't laugh at our "pranks" that we'd turn on them, if it wasn't for the Death Eaters, I don't doubt you'd be dead long before the Shack." His voice was weak and weedy, still avoiding the others gaze.
"I don't doubt that…"
"Why didn't they take you out of school, you're parents I mean, it was obvious that you were teaching yourself despite everyone else stopping you"
"Because they couldn't, when you receive your letter and you step foot in the place, you are signing a magical contract, nothing short of being expelled will release you from it. It stops people from transferring, we have to keep up the Hogwarts being the best place tradition you know."
"You know he didn't punish me, he praised James, who'd been in bed the whole time, and then he threatened you before giving you detention. You were the victim, and I don't think he let you see Poppy until the following day."
"It was punishment for being curious, the fact that I hadn't been and that it was you polyjuiced as my lover, who led me to my death – how sick can you get, if it had gone the way you wanted I would have died thinking my lover, the one person I loved more than life itself hated me so much that he'd deliberately lead me to my death, to be slaughtered like an animal. You know I cursed him for saving me, I decided that it was meant to be, that I only deserved death and that it was the only way to stop all the pain…"
"Lucius told me, said he had to make you take a wizards vow not to take your own life, he told me about the nightmares that you had, told me about the way you'd stay up all night practising shielding charms, notice me nots, invisibility incantations…" Whispering until his voice broke off.
"Tell me what I was supposed to do, my lover started chasing after the boy who'd tried to rape me, the adults were letting you all have a free for all on me, I was made aware in no uncertain terms that as far as the Headmaster was concerned my life meant nothing and that I was to be punished for not meeting a grizzly end. If it wasn't for my house I wouldn't have made it at all, and even then, I was forced to spend as little time there as possible, Dumbledore's way of punishing me more."
"You know I was made prefect for the sole reason that it meant I had to patrol the corridors in my free time, and that as Head Boy I was forced to sleep in a separate part of the castle,"
"James was Head Boy"
"There were two, neither of us were allowed to give or take away points, I think after James's stint as a prefect where he awarded Gryffindor one million points for being amazing, even Dumbledore couldn't trust him, so he let James have the honor of being Head Boy in name only, and I got to be it in the work load. I was the one who had to organise meetings, organise school trips, kept the students in line during Hogsmeade trips, to the point where I became the Slytherin ghost, widely known but never seen.
"I think the only saving grace was the fact that it meant I had my own private bolt hole when I needed to be alone. I just didn't have Lucius in it. I don't think anyone was as grateful as I was when Dumbledore gave me my certificate at the end of the NEWT's"
"You just apparated straight out of there, you and Lucy, didn't wait for the rest to be read out, you didn't wait for the leaving feast or the ball."
"You blame me? Why would I want to spend any more time in a place that all but killed me?"
"But you still went back to teach. I know why, Dumbledore and all that, but, didn't you ever want to just leave them to it? Just take Lucy and Remy and make a new life somewhere else?"
"And Tom, who'd have looked out for him, Goyle, Crabbe? Lucius would have been my next best bet to pull it off, but that would have defeated the point."
"You never get sick of being the one who has to do things? The one everyone leans on."
"You know that as soon as it's all settled, when my job is done they'll just forget about me until the next crisis. Until they need something else that only I can do, but they won't be civil until they need it. My guess is that once we settle we'll have two camps, those of the awake settlers, and those of the sleeping. I wouldn't even be surprised if there isn't another little crusade of Dumbledore's when he realises those that were awake aren't best pleased when being preached to by someone who has been absent for decades."
Glad that they'd moved on from their uncomfortable past, Sirius risked glancing up at Sev who merely met his glance without the anger of before.
"We're going to be a clan of people who'll have worked hard for everything we gained, we'll have our own society with our own rules, our own structure, our own beliefs. We'll have knowledge that will surpass theirs when it comes to the new way of living, we'll hopefully have made our mistakes and learnt from them while they'll have not even attempted to adjust yet.
"They'll be expecting it all handed to them on a plate, they'll be told a different version to the truth to keep in line with Dumbledore's teachings. I really can't see our clan being overly impressed by being ordered to make houses for those who have been asleep, or working hard to feed the others. No doubt we'll split within the first season, with a few staying long enough to get them through a year, and then just leave them to sink or swim, and within a few years when they don't prosper as easily as they feel we will be, they'll start blaming us, then it'll be targeting us…" as he spoke he realised the truth behind it, he'd never considered that part of the move, there was no way the two groups could be meshed again, not in their lifetimes.
"Sirius, we need to wake the Slytherin's, they'll be targeted as soon as they start turning on us, and anyone considered even part dark. Hell anyone who'll thrive in Faerun, including the Veela," He glanced frantically at Sirius, his brain whirring again, he was starting to feel like he had days before when deciding on who to save.
"Sirius, what about Ravenclaw, they're similar to Slytherin in many ways, will they see it that way, will they start punishing them?"
Black crawled over to him, for the first time since the conversation began moving closer not away, tugging him into his lap, alarmed by the wide eyed panic his new lover had gotten into.
"Shh love, I agree with you over the Slytherin kids, and anyone who was in Slytherin though maybe you should include Aberforth in that, I think he would willingly bait Albus until Albus blasted him to hell and back, but Ravenclaw, I think love that you need to remember we're talking about things that can be monitored. We'll keep an eye on them and if the worms turns we'll take them away. But we can't possibly feed all of them, the only reason I agree with Slytherin is that it'll be better to get them involved in the beginning, integrate as soon as possible, which will hold back the problems. Aberforth however perhaps hold off on him until just before we awake the others.
"Veela are similar to Slytherin though, no offence meant love but they can be as difficult as Slytherin. In fact I would compare them to the ultimate Slytherin prince, Draco. Best to stamp on them hard and from the beginning," he grinned at the snigger from Sev at the comparison, "Hagrid will be fine, and Grawp, they're Dumbledore's pets,"
"You know it'll mean that all the dark wizards will have to come with us" Sev barely managed to stifle his groan.
"Would you hate me forever if I said leave them?"
"Honestly no, you think I want us to start afresh with a bunch of idiots who are want to do their own thing, it's going to be hard enough to battle it out with the group we'll have anyway. I don't want to end up holding endless sessions on how we are not to fight, how we are supposed to work as a group and not hex each other to death." He groaned properly this time, rubbing at his forehead, "It's already giving me a headache and we've not even begun yet!"
"You know each society has to have good and bad elements. We'll just be there to stop any injustice happening against those who will become obvious targets, like Ravenclaw perhaps, and you could always obliviate the lot of them and teach them from scratch"
"I could just do that anyway…" There was a worryingly approving tone to the retort, causing Sirius to look at him sharply.
"Your seriously considering it?"
"It'd solve the problem, give everyone a fresh start, no prejudice"
"Yeah, they'd squabble about who was in charge, then they'd group into who has blue eyes, brown eyes, voices, colour, hair colour, hair length, sexual orientation, I can go on"
"So it's not a brilliant idea, but it has merit… and is an option…"
"Take out Dumbledore then"
"They'd notice and then hate us even more. Now he could die quietly in his sleep one night, but not until they are at least – why the hell are we talking about this now"
"Cos we're getting way ahead of ourselves?"
"Indeed" They shared a smile, before standing.
"You still always had a thing for her…"
"I'm still gay as you well know!"
"You still have a thing for her, we all know, it's blatantly obvious"
"She knows?"
"Arthur knows. Remus knows, Lucius knows, she however is completely oblivious."
"I don't lust after her, I just have this thing you know. You know once after you lot had torn my clothes to shreds and beaten me up until I was all bloody and bruised, she once took me to Myrtles bathroom and cleaned me up. She was the warmest person I've ever met, she cast the repairing charm on my clothes and gave me a hug." He sighed softly, Molly Weasley was amazing, he sighed again not noticing the giggles from the doorway, his lovers had returned.
"Oh Molly…" Came Lucius silky tones, drawn out in a lovesick way.
"What, she's just wonderful, she has this warmth and she was a born mother, I mean I was covered in mud and blood and snot from all the crying from the pain, and she just mothered me" he sighed again.
"Funny that, she picks a guy who can't give her kids…"
"Lucius, that wasn't nice, it's not his fault."
"Still, it's true, not like I gloated when I said it…"
"It's not his problem" came the soft comment from their pale lover, he sounded pained.
"They consulted me once, you know to see if I could brew anything, but how can you give a womb life when it refuses to accept it. It just kills the sperm and if any manage to fertilise one of her eggs then her womb kills the foetus in the early stages…"
"Oh… maybe I should stop calling Weasley impotent then" This was met with a ringing slap from Remus who took offence to the remark.
"What, it's not like I do it verbally, it's just a way of making myself feel superior" They just rolled their eyes to this, as the Blonde flicked his hair over his shoulder, huffing prettily to himself.
Leaving Severus to his Molly daydreams, Sirius filled the others in on the new plan of attack, debating whether or not to include the Darker wizards, until Lucius piped up with "Just accidentally kill them" They just fell silent, it had all occurred to them. There was no way they could start a new life with people in prisons, and those who'd been too canny to avoid being caught of crimes far worse than those who were incarcerated. It was a well known fact that there were several of the Darkest wizards of their time sleeping in the Great Hall, having committed crimes that would never be proved short of Veritaserum, and not stupid enough to be caught for a crime that would require it.
"Kill those who you know for definite, Umbridge for one, Moody…" Lucius ever the voice of forgive and forget, had watched his lovers and child suffer at the hands of both. Moody was well known for committing acts of brutality in the name of the law, and Umbridge well one only shuddered at how dangerous she was.
"Well, whose to say the Moody with all of his magical attachments will make it through stasis… and Umbridge well – no Lucy, stop it, we will not turn into gods, playing with lives." Sev broke though into the conversation again.
"Is tempting though you have to admit"
"Of course it is, how could it not be, but it'd turn us into killers and we aren't., are we?"
Shaking their heads they made plans to wake up the others, each setting off in different directions for their own individual tasks.
Authors note: ok, so we have one more chapter and then I'm back up to date with where I am on what's written. I'm trying to update about once a week, though I may go mad an update faster now and again.