Well, here goes: the final chapter. Thanks to everyone who has given us reviews… except for the flamer Karina 155. You know, it's kind of ironic that we're being accused of writing incoherently by someone who can't even spell the word "coherent".

Narrator: The clones and officers go through the door ahead of Doctor Death. They enter a shuttle bay with one broken-down shuttlecraft.

McCoy: Lovely. Looks like it was made by insane Romulans.

Uhura: Have you ever seen a Romulan that wasn't insane?

Chekov: Russian shuttlecrafts are much more sturdy.

Doctor Death: Now, open the door and climb in!

Narrator: Sulu goes over and struggles with the door handle for a little bit.

Sulu: It's stuck!

Little Doctor Death: (tries to say something but can't)

Doctor Death: You imbecile! Let me do it!

Narrator: Doctor Death pushes Sulu aside and shoots the door handle with his gun. It vaporizes instantly. Then, Spock quickly walks forward and nerve-pinches Doctor Death while his back is to him. He falls unconscious. Then Little Spock does the same to Little Doctor Death.

Kirk: Good job, Spock!

McCoy: (mimicking) Good job, Spock. (rolls eyes) How come he always gets the credit when we defeat an evil villain?

Kirk: Well, Bones, he did just single-handedly put Doctor Death out of action.

McCoy: That's beside the point.

Spock: Then what, exactly, is the point?

McCoy: Ummm... (thinks) Why don't you get back to me on that?

Kirk: Okay, men! We've—

Uhura: (hits Kirk with beam) I'm a woman, you nitwit!

Kirk: (rubs head) All right, sorry. Where was I? Oh yes. Okay, men... err... people, we've defeated Doctor Death! Now we need to worry about getting back to the Enterprise...

Sulu: Well, we could take this shuttlecraft... it is just kind of sitting here.

Kirk: Be quiet, Mr. Sulu. Lieutenants aren't allowed to think of anything that hasn't been thought of by the captain.

Sulu: (rolls eyes) All right, Captain, what is your ingenious plan?

Kirk: Hmm… (thinks) Well, I'd say we ought to fly this shuttle craft back to the Enterprise.

Sulu: (sarcastically) The man's a genius.

Kirk: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go! We might as well take the clones, too. And Doctor Death; he has an urgent appointment with the brig.

Chekov: What about Little Doctor Death?

Kirk: Hmmmm. We could send him to school. Maybe he'll learn the error of his ways.

McCoy: I doubt it. Bad guys will be bad guys.

Little PearlGirl: I don't want to go into an icky shuttlecraft! Waaaahhhh!

Little Alania: We'll stay behind. She's being such a fussy-face.

Little Uhura: Okay. Bye!

Narrator: They all get into the shuttlecraft except for the Authors' clones. Kirk finds the most comfy chair and immediately sits down in it.

Kirk: This is my chair. Sulu and Chekov can steer. Spock can sit next to them. Bones, you'll have to share a seat with Spock. Or you can stand.

McCoy: I'll stand.

Kirk: The clones and red-shirts get the pleasure of sitting on the floor by my feet.

Little Kirk: What? I should get a captain's chair!

Little Spock: Shuttlecrafts do not contain captains' chairs.

Kirk: Uhura, you have a difficult choice to make.

Uhura: And what's that?

Kirk: Whether you want the pleasure of sitting with the clones, or standing with McCoy.

Uhura: What? I'm not sitting on some dingy floor! I guess I'll have to stand.

Kirk: Excellent choice. Now, take us out, Mister Sulu!

Chekov: Fine. Let the lieutenant do eet! What about me? I'm Russian!

Narrator: Sulu presses some buttons and the shuttlecraft begins to shake. Then it slowly lifts up and begins to fly. Spock opens the shuttlebay doors and they fly out into space.

Kirk: I can see the Enterprise! Isn't she a beauty?

McCoy: I can't wait to get back! This shaking is making me sick!

Snodgrass: I'm glad we're not using the transporter. They're dangerous to red-shirts. Shuttlecrafts are much more safe.

Narrator: Suddenly, Sulu's console explodes.

Sulu: Stupid, lousy, broken-down control panel! (sees a sticker underneath the burning panel) Hey, it says "Made in Russia"!

Chekov: What! No eet doesn't!

Sulu: Yes it does. Look!

Chekov: (looks at sticker) Humph. I don't believe eet. Russian ships are always the best.

Sulu: You just go ahead and believe that if it'll make you feel better. Hey, you don't need to kick me about it! It's not my fault the Russians made this cruddy shuttle.

Kirk: Is something going on up there, Mr. Sulu?

Sulu: (turns to look at Kirk) No, sir.

McCoy: (nervously) Um, Sulu, maybe it would be better if you'd keep your eyes on the screen, so you can concentrate on steering...?

Sulu: (confidently) Don't worry about it; I've been flying shuttlecrafts like this one since I was five.

Spock: It is not legal in the Federation to fly a shuttlecraft before the age of sixteen.

Sulu: Oh, really? Heh heh. Whaddaya know.

McCoy: Sulu, look out! You're about to crash into the Enterprise!

Sulu: (turns quickly) Uh oh.

Narrator: Sulu quickly manipulates the steering controls and manages to avoid a crash, though the shuttle does bump into the Enterprise and leave a long scratch in her.

Kirk: (angrily) Mr. Sulu, you just scratched the Enterprise! You'll pay for this!

Narrator: Suddenly, Scotty's voice is heard through the shuttlecraft's communications system.

Scotty: Who are you in the shuttlecraft? I'll get you! You scratched me ship!

Kirk: It's us, Scotty.

Scotty: Oh. Hello, Captain. You were gone a long time. I'll open the shuttle bay doors.

Narrator: The doors open and Chekov and Sulu manage to steer into the bay and land.

Sulu: We made it!

Narrator: Suddenly, the shuttlecraft's controls go dead.

McCoy: I think it died.

Uhura: At least we made it into the shuttle bay. If not, I would have strangled the men who are flying this heap of junk.

Red-shirt 1: I survived! I don't believe it! Eight other red-shirts died on this mission, but I didn't! Yesss!

Narrator: At that moment a large cement block falls from the ceiling and kills Red-shirt 1.

Kirk: Well, that takes care of that red-shirt. (looks at Snodgrass, sighs) We managed to get rid of all of the red-shirts... except for this one.

Narrator: They leave the ship and meet Scotty up on the bridge. Spock carries the still-unconscious Doctor Death and Little Spock carries Little Doctor Death.

Scotty: I'm glad you came back, Captain. You've been gone a long time.

Kirk: (looking out at the view screen) I'll be glad to leave this lousy solar system. (blinks) Why is a Klingon Bird-of-Prey decloaking to our right?

Ensign at Spock's console: Captain! Klingon Bird-of-Prey decloacking to our right!

Kirk: All right; all of you ensigns get out of here! The real officers will handle this! Of course, you can stay if you want to come on our next away mission.

Narrator: The red-shirted ensigns flee. Spock, Uhura, Chekov and Sulu take their normal positions. Their clones follow them, looking at the computer consoles.

Uhura: The Klingons are hailing us.

Kirk & Little Kirk: On screen!

Kirk: (glares at little Kirk) I'm the captain here!

Narrator: Khan's face appears on the screen.

All: KHHHAAAANNN!

Doctor Death: (wakes up; blinks) Did I miss something?

Kirk: (to Khan) So. It's you. I suppose you're back for revenge again, as always. (blinks) Wait a minute. I thought we killed you last time.

Khan: (shrugs) The Authors decided to bring me back. Does it really matter that much?

Kirk: Yes, if you're planning to kill me and take over my ship.

Khan: Actually, that's not the reason I'm here. I wanted to speak to a certain Doctor Death who I believe is on your ship.

Doctor Death: (stands up) That would be me. (importantly) Can you make this quick? I was just in the process of taking over this ship.

Narrator: There are three security guards pointing their phasers at Doctor Death. Khan raises his eyebrows.

Khan: I see. Anyway, I just wanted to notify you that you've been voted the official Villain of the Year. The award ceremony is tomorrow on Risa.

Doctor Death: (excited) Really? Villain of the Year? That's been my lifelong dream! Do I get to make a speech?

Kirk: Sure. After you've stood trial on Earth and completed your sentence.

Doctor Death: What? But—can't I at least go to the award ceremony tomorrow? Please?

Kirk: (shakes head) I'm sure they'll be able to postpone it for twenty years or so. (to security guards) Take him to the brig.

Narrator: The guards drag off Doctor Death.

Khan: (frowning) That's really too bad... oh well. I guess I should be going now.

Kirk: Are you sure you don't want revenge?

McCoy: (kicks Kirk) We don't need any more excitement today.

Khan: Now isn't a good time. I've got to see about postponing the awards ceremony. Maybe they'll just award it to me instead. (smiles)

Narrator: The view screen switches to show the Klingon ship disappear under its cloaking device.

McCoy: So, what do we do with the clones?

Kirk: They can go to Kindergarten. I believe some lieutenant is teaching a class on the Enterprise for little kids. Maybe Little Doctor Death will be able to grow up into something other then a mad scientist.

Little Doctor Death: (tries to say something but can't)

McCoy: Oh yeah, he's still mute.

Kirk: Bye, Jimmy. The guards will take you to Kindergarten.

Little Kirk: I don't want to go to school! I'm a starship captain!

Sulu: Keep practicing that Karate, Hikaru!

Little Sulu: Hi yah! (chops a hole in Uhura's control panel)

Uhura: I'll come visit you, Little Me.

Little Uhura: (flips pigtails) Okay. I'll make sure the Kindergarten has enough girls to keep it from being chaotic.

McCoy: I heard they have some teddy bears that need serious surgery, Lenny.

Little McCoy: Cool!

Spock: I am sure the teachers will provide you with a computer to simulate experiments on, Spock. I would recommend light wave particle experiments. They are quite fascinating.

Little Spock: (nods) I will bear that in mind.

Chekov: Try to lose the pimples, Pav.

Little Chekov: I hope they have Play-Doh in Kindergarten.

Little Sulu: If they do, I hope they hide it. You'd eat it all!

Little Chekov: (defensively) So? It's good. You should try Play-Doh sometime.

Snodgrass: Umm, see you later, Eugene. Try not to cause too many disasters.

Little Snodgrass: Huh? What's happening? Where are we going?

Snodgrass: On the other hand, maybe that's too much to ask.

Little Narrator: What about me?

Kirk: You can go to Kindergarten too. Maybe they'll teach you to be a better narrator.

Little Narrator: Humph. I think I'm a good narrator already.

Narrator: There's always room for improvement.

Kirk: Um, you. Red-shirt.

Snodgrass: It's Snodgrass.

Kirk: Yeah, whatever. Take these clones to Kindergarten.

Snodgrass: I don't know where it is.

Kirk: (rolls eyes, mutters about useless red-shirts) All right, I'll call a nameless lieutenant to come and get them.

Narrator: The nameless lieutenant comes and takes the clones away.

Kirk: Finally, those annoying clones are out from under my feet.

McCoy: I think I'm ready for a nice looooooong shore leave. It'll feel good to relax.

Kirk: I dunno, Bones. Shore leaves are dull. I'd rather be out boldly going where no man has gone before!

Uhura: There you go again! Men, men, men. You go where no man has gone before, huh? What about women? Have women gone there? Nobody cares!

McCoy: That's right. So be quiet.

Chekov: I think we should change it to "boldly going where no Russian has gone before". That has a nice ring to it.

Kirk: Come on, Mr. Sulu! Take us out there! There are new worlds to discover!

McCoy: Not that we can tell them apart. They all look like Earth.

Spock: Every planet has different rock formations, life and atmosphere. Perhaps you just are not perceptive, Doctor.

McCoy: Not perceptive? I'm perceptive enough to see that you're filled up to your pointy ears with logic!

Spock: That statement is most illogical.

Narrator: The scene changes to show the Enterprise zooming off into space. McCoy's and Spock's argument can still be heard faintly. Then the music drowns them out. Suddenly, the scene changes to a view of Doctor Death's building on Baltan V.

PearlGirl: Great! Now all I've got is one colony and a lousy— (turns away from computer screen) Hey! Where'd they go?

Little Alania: (Comes into room) They left in the shuttlecraft.

Alania: If you hadn't started playing Colonization, our story wouldn't have gotten out of control!

PearlGirl: Hey, it's not my fault! You found the computer!

Alania: But you—

Narrator: Why don't you two stop arguing so we can end the story?

PearlGirl: We're sisters. We have to argue.

Alania: It's in our job description.

Narrator: Then do it after the story, please.

Alania: All right, fine.

THE END

That's all, folks! It's been fun. Please leave a review as you go ; )