Sho woke up to an empty room.
And he didn't like it.
He knew that he was a big kid, now, and he knew that he had to be brave, but right then and there he did not feel very brave at all. He knew that it was dumb to be scared in his own house. Dad had called him ridiculous. He had said that it was ridiculous to be afraid of his own house. He had been living in this house for his entire life. There was nothing at all to be afraid of. Not even any spirits to bother him. He was being weak and ridiculous then, being so afraid that he was alone in his room that he was hiding under his blankets like a five year old.
He was six years old, now, much too old to be hiding like this.
He was six and he should not have been afraid. He was practically a big kid already. No, wait, he was totally a big kid already. Next year he'd be in the first grade and when your grades had numbers then you were a big kid…even though Sho didn't much want to go to the first grade. He'd be at a different school than Akira, and all of his other friends who he also cared about, and also he'd be stuck at big sis' school. The uniforms there were the worst!
And he didn't just hate them because big sis' uniform looked creepy in the dark.
Clothes didn't really come to life. He knew that. If clothes could really come to life then they would have done it already. Even if it was just girl's uniforms that came to life…and even if they did come to life they helped you fight other evil clothes…and stuff. He didn't know. Late night TV was so weird sometimes. He didn't get it entirely but it was fun to stay up late…even if mom did get upset with them when she found them watching TV in the middle of the night when they knew that they should have been in bed.
She never got mad at him, though.
Not in the real way. Not in the way that dad got mad at him. Dad was always mad at him…and he never even showed it. He never yelled or anything like that. He just said mean things and also hit him a bunch. All the while his face was the same, like he was bored, and maybe he was. Maybe he was getting bored of punishing Sho and he should have found something else to do with his time.
Dad would never stop punishing him.
And Dad was scarier than anything that went bump in the night. He could be scary without even trying. He could be mean and scary…but also weirdly nice, too. Like when he said that Sho's drawings were nice. Well he didn't say nice he said that Sho's drawings showed clear perspective and proportion…which mom said was the same as telling him that he drew a nice picture. He decided to trust mom on that. Even though it was so weird for dad to be nice. He did other weird stuff, too, like when he got Sho all of that cake on his last birthday…and also when he gave him and big sis all of his old toys. They were old and a lot of them were broken but some of them were stull fun.
He didn't get dad sometimes.
But he also didn't get big sis sometimes, either. He didn't get how she could always look so bored when she wasn't, how she could just sit there and dress up dolls for hours and pretend that they were talking and stuff, how she actually liked taking baths, how she got up early for school even though they didn't have to, why she kept a box of old candy from White Day hidden under that creepy doll dad got her on her bed, why she even still had that creepy doll that looked just like her only it had evil eyes that followed you across the room and-
And
Sho got out of bed.
He had to…to…to go to the bathroom! Yes, that was it. He had to pee and he could not risk wetting the bed because he was way too old to be doing stuff like that and also Dad would have been mad if he found out that Sho still wet the bed sometimes. He couldn't help it. Even if he went to bed without having drank any water at all since bedtime he still sometimes wet the bed. Sometimes from bad dreams and sometimes for no reason at all. Big sis never wet the bed. She was perfect, as far as mom and dad were concerned…
Well as far as dad was concerned.
Dad liked big sis. They always hung out together. When he and big sis got home from school she'd always go and do her homework in dad's office and then one time Sho even caught them playing Chinese checkers. It was a boring game but he would have liked to have been invited. That was the polite thing to do. He always invited dad and big sis to come and play with him and mom. Well, when mom was feeling up to playing. She was tired all the time now. Sho wondered if she was sick or just tried. Maybe she was turning into an old person. They slept a lot, old people, because they had lived a long time and living was exhausting.
Mom had said that living was exhausting.
Sho didn't know why she had said it. They were drawing pictures in her room, he had been drawing a dragon cat and she had been drawing a real cat, and she just put her pencil down and looked at him and said that living was exhausting…and Sho didn't know what he was supposed to say to that so he just hugged her and then she hugged him back way too tight…and then they had gone back to drawing like nothing had happened.
Living was exhausting.
Sho didn't get it. He understood being super tired, he was super tired right then, but that was because he was supposed to have been asleep. He understood getting exhausted when you hadn't had enough sleep or when you had been doing a lot of playing that day but just living itself….he didn't get it. He wanted to ask dad, he did know a lot of stuff even if he was mean about it, but he didn't. Dad was…dad did not like him. Dad was always on him about something and he was always saying the meanest things and…and Sho did not want to talk to him more than he had to.
Or maybe he did.
Maybe he wanted dad to treat him more like he treated big sis.
But, obviously, that was never going to happen. Dad was for big sis and mom was for him and that was just the way that it was going to be. Even now Sho could hear…dad. He was awake and he was talking to someone. Sho changed course. He had really only been going to the bathroom to see if big sis was there. He always got scared when they were separated in this house…this house which was a different house entirely at night. Sho moved quickly and quietly, like a ninja, so he didn't step on any of the creaky parts of the floor. He made sure not to because he didn't want to make the house upset…even though that's a stupid way to think. It was a house. It didn't have any feelings. Houses were houses and people were people and monster houses were not real they were just in movies and this was not a monster house or a haunted house, those were real, this was just a regular house and he was fine and-and-and he knew that he should have just gone back to his room but-
But he was too scared.
So he went to the living room. Even though Dad didn't care at all if he was scared. Even though Dad would be more likely to punish him for being scared than to pick him up and tell him that everything was going to be alright. Even though dad would probably call him annoying and underfoot and tell him to get lost like he always did. Maybe that was what he wanted. Maybe he wanted to be afraid of something that was really scary. Something that he had a reason to be scared of.
He wanted his mom.
But she was asleep and exhausted all the time, anyway.
He wanted his big sis.
But she was probably in the bathroom or something and he shouldn't have needed her anyway.
He kind of wanted his dad.
Even though his dad was the biggest jerk in the whole world.
He knew that he should have been fine on his own. He should have been alright just on his own and he should have been a person all on his own, too. That was what dad said. He said that he was a complete person all on his own and that Sho needed to grow up to be a complete person all on his own. Sho didn't get it at all. If dad was a complete person all on his own then why did he marry mom? And why did he and mom make their kids, too, if dad was compete all on his own?
And why was dad watching TV with big sis if he was complete all on his own?
"Do you like this? I thought you would. You have a fascination with royalty." Said Dad. He was sitting on the couch next to big sis. He wasn't pushing her off or telling her that she was being annoying or telling her that she needed to learn to give him space. No. He was sitting right next to her and they were watching some really boring show together for no reason other than the fact that they were both super boring people.
"This is interesting, dad, I'm learning a lot." Said big sis. She was in for it once mom woke up…or maybe not because she was with dad. Dad said that he hated being bothered….also he said that TV was banal. That was a word which meant stupid, mom had said so. Sho had never known dad to like watching TV…but of course he would be watching something boring. He and big sis could be boring together. They could watch all of the boring TV in the world together. Sho didn't care.
"I do wish that your fascination would move away from the royalty of Europe, though, Daughter. You are Japanese after all." said dad
"I'm half Japanese." Said big sis. Even though she was all Japanese. She got the half of mom and dad that was Japanese and he got the half of mom and dad that wasn't. That was why people were always trying to touch his hair and when he and mom were out together they either talked really slowly or talked to mom though big sis.
"You're Japanese and yet you're obsessed with American and European media. All of those films you watch are made in America and are about princesses of European descent. I really don't understand you sometimes, Daughter." Said Dad. He didn't say it like she was gum that was stuck to the bottom of his shoe. No, he was the Sho gum and she was the person.
"What do you mean? You picked this out." Said big sis. Sho thought that she would have been in for it, talking to dad like that…but of course she hadn't been. This was big sis. She was never in for it even when she talked to dad in ways that would have gotten Sho thrown across the room. It wasn't fair…
"I know. I chose this because I knew that you were fascinated by the royals of Europe. All of your dolls are of European royalty. Well aside from the Arabian one." said Dad
"She's Princess Jasmine. I like her a lot. I don't think that her country is a real one, though." said big sis
"I've seen that film. It looks a bit like ancient Baghdad." Said dad
"What's Baghdad?" asked big sis
"A city that I've traveled to on a few occasions. Dreadfully hot." Said dad
"I thought that you didn't feel hot and cold." Said big sis
"I can I just choose not to. I went there before I mastered the ability to ignore temperature extremes." Said dad. Sho wished that he could do that, too. He hated it when it was summer and it got super hot outside and his shirt stuck to him and his hair got all wet and sweat got in his eyes. Dad never sweated n matter how hot it got outside. It was both cool and weird.
"Can you teach me how? Then I wouldn't have to wear snow pants in the wintertime." Said big sis. Mom still made them wear snow pants like they were still little kids. Sho thought that they were annoying but big sis really hated them. That made sense, she was a girl, and girls hated pants. He didn't get it one bit.
"I could. Wait until the temperature becomes unpleasant. Though I do not understand your aversion to wearing pants. Is it a female thing?" asked dad
"I don't like pants. They're uncomfortable. I don't even like tights that much. It might be a girl thing. Boys are so unlucky, they can't wear dresses and skirts." Said big sis
"They can. Clothing is just clothing at the end of the day. I've worn robes and kimonos but I find myself most comfortable like this." said dad
"Is that why you never wear anything else? Not even pajamas?" asked big sis
"Yes. I see no reason why I shouldn't be comfortable at all times." Said dad
"I wish that I could do that, too, be comfortable all the time." Said big sis
"Why not? I don't see why you can't be comfortable all time. You're a child. It's not as though you have many social obligations which require you to dress a certain way. Well there is your school, of course, but I was under the impression that you enjoyed wearing your uniform. Was I wrong in my assumption?" asked dad
No, dad, I like my uniform but sometimes I just have to wear things I don't like. Mostly it's pants that I don't like. I hate that, sometimes, I have to wear pants. Like when it gets too cold out, even too cold for tights, then mom makes me wear pants and I don't like it. I don't even like tights and leggings that much but I really hate pants. I just don't like the cold that much I guess." Said big sis. She was talking about things she liked and disliked…and dad was listening. Dad wasn't telling her that she was being annoying. Dad was telling her that he didn't care how she felt…because he did care, he cared about big sis and how she felt about things and what she thought about things and-and-and this just wasn't fair!
"Well then when you get older I'll have to take you someplace warm." Said dad. No…dad did not just say that….he never took them with. He said that they were too young, that they would be underfoot, that they had to stay in school and stay home and keep mom company at home….and mom had to stay because it wasn't safe for her…
Because she didn't have powers.
Like Sho didn't have powers, not really. He could make his colors show and sometimes he could move things without touching them if he got mad enough but aside from that there was nothing else at all that he could possibly do….nothing that he could do that could impress dad enough to make him even think of taking him with…like he was planning on taking big sis with….
"You'd take me with you?" asked big sis. Well now she looked happy. Sho could tell by her colors. They were showing. Pink and blue. Two colors. Dad had two colors too, red and yellow, but he was mostly yellow. Dad and big sis just had everything in common now didn't they?
"Yes, when you got older. Right now you're very small and you require a level of care that I simply cannot perform. When you become older and more independent then I'll take you with me. I could use the loyal and useful help." Said dad
"And mom and Sho, too?" asked big sis
"I suppose that at some point I'll have to take your brother with me….he is to inherit the world after all…though your mother would be happiest here. She loves this house and she would not be safe if I were to bring her with. You can defend yourself and your brother…there's time for him. Your mother would be in too much danger. Besides, I would never take her from a place she loves so much. I want her to be happy. Like a goldfish in a tank. People are a bit like fish in that they don't like to be moved from one habitat to another. You and I are different. Well you, and I, and your brother as well….possibly…it's too early to tell with him." said dad
"I want Sho to come with. He'd be so happy coming with you." Said big sis. Sho…he knew that she was just telling dad things that she knew Sho would have wanted her to say. She probably didn't want him there. She probably wanted it to just be her and dad…like now. That was why she hadn't woken him up, because she wanted it to just be her and dad….
"Yes, I suppose he would. He'll come with when he's older just as you will, I suppose. You're both going to be getting older at some point and then you'll be ready for more responsibility. You'll take to it, I know you will, and your brother…there is time for him yet. Time for him to become more like you." Said dad. Sho wished that dad had just hit him over the head…it would have felt better than hearing what he had just heard…
"Sho would be really good at working for you. He's smart and brave and he gets good…ok…grades at school and I bet that if he worked for you and if I worked for you then we'd all be really happy together." Said big sis
"Yes. I suppose so. The world…it will be in good hands when I can no longer rule it. Your hands…and your brother's. His children's and their children's and so on and so forth." Said dad
"Dad…why does Sho get to be the one to inherit the world? I mean…you always say that Sho is going to take over for you…" said big sis.
"Because he's my son and that's how these things go. He'll have his children and they will be Suzuki's. You'll have your children and they will belong to whichever man or men you chose to have them with." Said dad
"But I'm a Suzuki and then if I have kids then they'll be my kids and then they'll be Suzuki's too. Because they came from me and I came from you." Said big sis
"Yes, if you marry your brother." Said dad. Sho stuck out his tongue. Gross. He didn't want to be married to anyone first of all, marriage meant that you had to have a wife and a wife was like a big sister and a mom all in one but you also had to kiss her…which was in no way appealing at all. Second of all he was not going to marry his sister! That was gross and wrong and just-just-just not ok! At all!
"Dad….I can't marry my brother…because he's my brother…and that would not be ok. That's outside of nature's laws. I heard that at school. People are not allowed to marry their brothers and sisters." Said big sis. Sho agreed. He really agreed. He liked his big sis but not like that. He'd never liked a girl like that. The kind of like that made you want to hold their hand and stuff. He barely even liked holding hands when they went on their walks at school. He always tried to get paired with Akira or someone else. Girls always got all giggly when you held hands with them even if the teacher made you. They read into stuff way too much.
"When you rule the world, help to rule it, then you can marry whoever you want to." Said dad
"So then I could marry someone who…who wasn't an esper?" asked big sis
"No. That would be unacceptable and if you were to do that then I would no longer accept you as my daughter. You know better than to waste yourself like that." Said dad. He sounded bored, as usual, but his words were mean. They were mean and…and poor big sis. She wasn't used to hearing mean words like that….and she didn't deserve to be….even though part of him was almost…happy…that he wasn't the only person who dad was mean to.
"But what if I met someone and I liked them and then they liked me back? Even though they weren't supposed to like me back because other people made fun of them? But I still liked them a lot and I wanted to be their…girlfriend…and stuff?" asked big sis
"If that man, that hypothetical man, were an esper then I would have no problem with that. You can marry whichever esper you chose. I don't care if he's slim or obese, a genius or a moron, terribly older than you or terribly younger, or anything at all about him beyond the fact that he is an esper…well I would prefer someone close to your level but I cannot control the fact that there are so few people like us." Said dad. Big sis looked kind of sad there, from what Sho could see, and he kind of felt bad for her. He figured that she liked that guy who was always talking to her when he and mom came to pick her up from school. Sho wanted to kick his butt, of course, because that was what you were supposed to do when some guy tried to hold your sister's hand. He didn't know why you were supposed to beat the guy up, just that you were. Still he wouldn't be like dad and be all 'I get to pick the person you marry' or whatever he meant.
Dad wouldn't try to find a girlfriend for him…would he?
Because that would have been the worst. Not only did he have to have a girlfriend but he had to have one who dad picked. Someone mean and boring who probably thought watching the grass grow was fun and sweet foods were gross and that manga needed to be colored in even though it really didn't and it was a waste of time and-and-and-
Dad was such a jerk sometimes.
"Yes dad. I understand." Said big sis. She seemed sad then…so sad…and Sho…he didn't want to be there while she was sad. He didn't want her to be sad and he wanted to tell dad, to march right up to him and tell him, that he was being the biggest jerk in the entire world and that he needed to knock it off and just be a nice and normal person like everyone else had to be!
But he didn't.
He just went back to his bed and laid down and tried to sleep. Even though the room was scary and the doll with the creepy eyes was watching him…he still laid down and tried to get some sleep. Even though he felt bad for big sis. Even though he felt bad for himself. Even if dad had said some mean stuff he had still been talking to big sis…had still been listening to her…and that had been…
More than he had ever done with Sho.