Abarai-fukutaicho - Stop looking up obscure terms for body parts, sexual acts and vulgar terminology and publicly asking your taicho to define them for you.
Aizen-taicho - While your calm acceptance of your fanclub's antics is admirable, you are not to encourage them to call themselves "The Cult of Aizen the Great, Lord of All Creation".
Ayasegawa Yumichika - Yelling "Duck!" when that duck Hollow attacked and then watching everyone hit the floor was very amusing. Releasing a flock of ducks into Seireitei just so you could do it again was not. Also, those are not ducks. Those are peacocks. We can tell the difference.
Hitsugaya-taicho - What you did to that Hollow... that was... that was just... ungodly disturbing. Nothing it said could have warranted such excessively cruel and inhumane treatment. Not even Hollows deserve that. I have recommended you for an immediate psych evaluation.
Ichimaru-taicho - "But I was wearing bunny ears!" is no excuse. Those are still nude pictures.
Kuchiki Rukia - Those incomplete "Bya-kun" clones you're keeping in the secret lab under your bedroom floor will be destroyed immediately. Any future attempts to sell any clones will be considered prostitution and you will be arrested.
Kurotsuchi-taicho - Full scale mock naval battles are not to be held in Soul Society.
Kusajishi-fukutaicho - Please PLEASE stop eating the Hell Butterflies. They cannot possibly taste that good! - No, I do not want to try one!
Kyoraku-taicho - Your stalking of the female Shinigami stops now. Do you have any idea how many restraining orders there are against you?
Matsumoto-fukutaicho - Your taicho does not need the "birds and bees" explained to him.
Soifon-taicho - The eleventh division are not cannibals.
Unohana-taicho - Please stop drugging and kidnapping shinigami when they are due for a checkup. A simple reminder and a request to come in will be sufficient.
Zaraki-taicho - You may not search out and recruit the recently departed soul of Ronnie James Dio. He is busy giving Satan swirlies.