And so the group trudged on with McDonalds leading the way and Tofu bringing up the rear dragging the doped up Wesker.

Several hours later…and completely lost…

"That's it." Larcen came to a stop, holding up his hands. "Can we please figure out which way is out!"

"That's a good idea." McDonalds snapped. "I don't suppose you know which way that would be?"

Larcen cocked an eyebrow, glancing around. After several minutes he finally spots an entrance to a subway station with the words 'Outbound' on a sign next to the doorway. Striking another heroic pose he pointed to the door.

"That way!"

He led the group, who were shaking their heads at Larcen's heroic outburst, into the station. It seemed quiet enough, save for the train that was idling noisily. Tofu eyed it with suspicion, ignoring Wesker who was nibbling on his head.

"Are you sure this thing can get us out of here?"

"Frankly, any place is better than here, where there are Sherry clones everywhere!"

The assembled survivors glance at each other and finally nod. They run into the nearest car. Just as the last person gets onboard, the doors close and the train pulls out of the station.

"And just where is this thing going?" McDonalds looks at Larcen. "Any idea?"

Larcen now breaks into song. "There's no earthly way of knowing, which direction we are going…"

Suddenly a door at the end of the car opened and, much to the shock of Larcen and everyone else…save Wesker who was still nibbling on Tofu, out came yet another Sherry clone dressed in a conductor's outfit.

"Tickets, please!"

Larcen laughed nervously. "Oh, uh, who has the tickets?"

"You mean you didn't buy them in the station?" McDonalds smacks him in the head. "Idiot."

"Tickets, please!"

"Great, so now what do we do?"

Suddenly, a look of pain comes over Larcen's face and he clutches his shoulder. Seconds later he drops the floor, gasping. McDonalds rolls his eyes at the overdramatic acting and kneels down beside Larcen.

"Oh no!" He says rather stiffly. "He's having a heart attack!"

Ark glances at the Sherry clone. "Our friend needs medical assistance, when is the next station?"

"Um, I want to say we'll be there any minute now."

As if by some kind of miracle, or bad plot design, the train came to a stop and the doors opened. Ark and McDonalds grabbed Larcen and carried him out onto the platform. Spastic trailed after them like a lost puppy. Ark came next back to looking comatose. Finally Tofu came out, dragging Wesker.

"Thanks, you're a big help young lady!"

"But, what about my tickets?"

Larcen cracked open a single eye and seeing that the train was pulling away, jumped to his feet smiling broadly.

"OK, so now where the heck are we?"

"Judging from the signs…" McDonalds studied a nearby directional sign for several seconds. "I'd say we're at the main facility of this island."

"The facility has it's own train station?"

"Never mind that, we've got to get in there and take out those blonde freaks once and for all!"

"Right. Anyone got any ideas?"

"I suggest we open that door."

McDonalds walked over to said door and opened it easily. Everyone present was slightly stunned it wasn't locked. They all shrugged and trekked inside. Suddenly a 16-pentagonal Licker jumped right in front of them from a nearby wall.

"AHHHHH!" Yelled Tofu, just before he fainted.

"Holy shit!" Yelled Larcen as he backed away.

Everyone else stood in fear. The Licker hopped around for several seconds then charged over to Wesker and started to lick his face. Ark shook his head and hauled Tofu over his back. The Licker sat on it's butt like a loyal dog panting at Wesker. Wesker patted the licker on the head, a lopsided grin on his face.

"Cute doggy! I will name you Fluffy!

The licker let out a high pitched squeal and bounced up and down. Wesker smiled dreamily as everyone else stared.

"Ok, for future reference, no drugs for him." Ark mumbled. "Not even a throat drop."

"On to the factory!"

Wesker skipped off with his new friend in tow. No one moved. They figured Wesker would be back sooner or later, probably after he tried to open a door or something. In the meantime, McDonalds decided to look around before the final battle. He walked around for a bit, then found an out of place weapon room. He opened the door and found himself in heavy weapons heaven.

He grabbed a bandanna and wrapped it around his head. Then he ripped open his shirt, exposing his hardened 6-pack. He opened a nearby locker and pulled out an PKMB Kalashnikov Modernized Armored Personnel Carrier Machine Gun . He put a few grenades on his belt, then walked back to the others.

"Holy Rambos!" Ark stammered.

"Let's do this!"

The group then took off toward where Wesker had gone and saw Fluffy fighting with a Hunter. Fluffy put the Hunter in a pin and impaled it's head with it's tongue. Wesker was leaning against a nearby wall clutching his stomach with one hand and massaging his temple with the other.

"I think I'm gonna hurl..."

"Finally!" Everyone yelled in unison.

"…ahh…" Wesker squeaked, in a rather dry and high pitched voice. "With the shouting please, no."

"Oooo somebody's got a hangover" Larcen singsonged.

"What the hell did you guys give me?"

"Ummm.."

McDonalds then went into deep thought for approximately 10 minutes…

"Morphine, Vidcaden, maybe some Darvacet...and a Comtrex cold tablet."

Wesker stared, looking paler than usual. I think he's trying to figure out how it is that they hadn't overdosed him with all the drugs.

"Man I could go for some Doritos or something."

Wesker murmured, opening a nearby door. Suddenly a large brutish creature leapt out at them. It sent Wesker flying across the room and over a nearby railing.

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

There was a loud thump as he hit the catwalk several yards below.

"Oh my god!" Larcen yelled in a high pitched voice. "It's uh...uh...TWO GIANT VERSIONS OF LILLY AND ROTT!"

Instead of climbing back up, as originally intended, Wesker merely sat back down and waited. Sherry clones were bad enough, but now there appeared to be two, giant sized, annoying children with bad English accents to contend with. Nope, Wesker was gonna stay right where he was.

"Back away!"

They advanced , so McDonalds cocked his machine gun. The chambered bullet flung out and hit Larcen on the head.

"I'm warning you!"

They moved in closer. He cocked the gun again and the bullet knocked Tofu in the head.

"LAST TIME, SCUMBAGS!"

They went to grab him. He cocked his gun again and heard an ouch from below. Everyone glanced over the railing and saw Wesker rubbing his head.

"Oh, whatever!"

McDonalds pulled the trigger and the room lit up in a flash of light. A thundering noise had erupted, like the sound of…uh…thunder.

tat-tat-tat

Or for the bullet time version…

ching-ching-ching

Almost a minute later all there was, was a clicking sound. Lilly and Rott were about 10 feet backwards from where they had started. Where Larcen, Spastic, Ark, and Tofu were standing was now a large pile of bullet casings. Plus there was a constant ouch sound coming from below. McDonalds walked up to the two giants he had just shot and aimed his gun at them.

"You must be lying there dead thinking Did he fire 6000 rounds or 7000rounds? You must be thinking Do I feel lucky? Well do you, punks!"

They just laid there with tongues hanging out and blood dripping from thousands of holes. McDonalds smiled, walking over to see just what that annoying ouch noise was. He looked over the railing and saw Wesker. McDonalds noticed he was saying ouch, because there were shells falling on his head like drops of water coming out of a tap.

"Wesker, get your hung over ass back up here!"

Wesker pulled himself up, while everyone else tried to extract themselves from the bullet pile and McDonalds struck a heroic pose…