Wesker skipped merrily along the hallway...still dripping blood. The rest of the trip had been rather uneventful. For some odd reason none of the zombies or other monsters came within ten feet of the survivors. Wesker thought it had something to do with McDonald's cologne. Everyone else knew it was because Wesker looked like he had just mass murdered a small city.

"Alright, we're in the factory and now we have to make it to the roof so we can find the chopper."

Wesker sounded down right perky.

"Ahh...good." McDonalds forced a smile, swallowing several times.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing...just you know tired and...HOLY HELL WHAT IS THAT?"

Wesker spun around and was confronted by none other than Vincent and about two hundred Sherry clones.

"I'm too old for this shit..."

"I hate my life." Tofu mumbled. "And I still want my copy of RE1.5."

Sighing heavily he reached into his pocket to see what he had, weapon wise.

"A knife...Sweet...WAIT!" He had hit the jackpot. "Wow. This is original. TWO combat knives!"

He held them up in a cool Matrix-like pose. No one was impressed, least of all the Sherrys. Still it was Tofu's moment to shine I guess.

"McDonalds…let's make BBQ sauce out of these Sherrys!"

"I hope it's not Chris's BBQ sauce…"

Slowly everyone turned, including the Sherrys and Vincent, to look at Ark in astonishment and wonder. Then they spotted something far more terrifying than Ark pretending to be Barry, 300 hundred people walking towards them holding a big flag.

"OH MY GOD!" Yelled Tofu. "FANFICTION FAN GIRLS!"

McDonalds yelled in horror and hid behind some well placed crates. Larcen followed.

"What is the problem?"

"They're scary! Hmm...maybe they'll fight the Sherrys for us…"

Wesker leaned against a nearby wall, lighting a cigarette, dripping blood all over the place, and looking uncharacteristically stoic. Well, someone had to look heroic and with this bunch there wasn't a whole lot to chose from. He ran a hand through his hair as the troop of Fan Girls advanced on the Sherrys. Several of the Fan Girls glanced at Wesker and squealed.

"OMG! IT'S WESKER!"

"HE'S SOOOOO CUTE!"

"WE GOTTA GRAB HIM!"

Wesker continued to lean against his wall looking all bad ass and cool. He was not afraid of some mindless fan girls, for he had the most secret and evil weapon Umbrella had ever created. McDonalds, on the other hand, was not as confident.

"Uh…Wesker, you might want to do something!"

"Yea dude, those things are worse than Sherry clones!" Larcen chimed in looking about ready to hurl.

The fan girls approached, just as the remaining Fan Girls (not obsessed with Wesker) and the Sherrys met. Wesker dropped his cigarette on the ground and turned to face the oncoming hoard. Then without warning, he pulled a small black…thingy…from behind his back and pressed the large shiny red button.

A large crate, thanks to another plot hole, dropped from out of nowhere. It crashed into the floor, landing between Wesker and the Wesker Obsessed Fan Girls.

"You are no match for my secret weapon!"

The girls slowed to a stop as the four sides of the crate crashed to the floor to reveal…

"What the hell is that!" Tofu yelled, looking confused and unimpressed. "YOUR SECRET WEAPON IS A COSPLAYER!"

"Not just any cosplayer…I give you the infamous…"

Suddenly the room was filled with creepy music, which spiked up in a rather menacing way. Several of the Sherrys and Fan Girls, already engaged in a horrific battle, stopped planting their hands firmly over their ears.

"AHHHH!" McDonalds shouted. "Make it stop!"

"It's worse than the Sherrys!"

Larcen promptly passed out. Tofu was humming along to the music.

"Ah hell."

Wesker stomped over to a rather inconspicuous looking door. He threw the door open and was confronted by an entire orchestra.

"Guys, it's getting a little loud out here."

There were a few mumbled sorrys and the music resumed a tolerable level. Wesker shut the door and cleared his throat resuming his previous position.

"As I was saying. This is no ordinary cosplayer…it is the infamous…WESKER CHICK!"

As if cued, which she was, the young woman opened her eyes. She stepped out of the box dressed in a black Wesker rip-off combat outfit, sunglasses included. She stared at the fan girls and grinned sadistically.

"How dare you attack my precious Albie!" She growled, adjusting her sunglasses in a very menacing way. "ALBIE IS MINE!"

She dove into the middle of the fan girls, dispatching them quickly in a mixture of Resident Evil, Onimusha, and Devil May Cry.

"There, that takes care of that." She said, wiping her hands on her pants.

"What the hell is that?" McDonalds squeaked.

"That is a Rabid Fan Girl." Wesker adjusted his hair. "Much more menacing than your usual variety."

Everyone glanced around at the carnage and noticed all the Sherrys had been destroyed, along with all of the Fan Girls.

"Now then, shall we proceed. We're not far from the roof."

Wesker marched toward the door, WC following him like a lost puppy. Just behind her was Ark, McDonalds, Spastic, and Tofu, who was dragging Larcen along by the foot.