Author notes: In a universe far far away a loser by the name of dudepotatos decided to update three days in a row because he is a loser with no life. Laugh.

Anyways, questions time.

Lerans: Drastic as what exactly? You mean basically not make him too op? If that's your question then you don't need to worry. Lincoln would be as powerful as a normal gamer. Which is really powerful.

openminded fandom: This story won't be left to dry in the hiatus desert if I have anything to say about it.

ZexyZane: Maria said someone, not something. Anyone who will be sent from the council of Lincolns could insta-kill this universe's Lincoln at his drug-fueled best. So no fighting. He'll just come and check on his progress and destroy his universe if he found out that he is a lazy sack of shit that kept banging chicks instead of increasing his powers.

anyways like Dababy once said, let's go.

Procrastination and multitasking often were said to be traits that don't go hand in hand. Yet, you'd be surprised at how sometimes ignoring and delaying stuff would do you good.

Take it from Lincoln, he practically turned it into an art form. Often applying them into his everyday "grand plans".

Like now for example. His feet were carrying him down the stairs, his back was straightened confidently and his eyes were fixated before him with Lynn following closely behind him.

Yet he was guiding himself only by sheer spatial memory. What could've been a chance for him to admire his old house and bask in its nostalgic glory was ruined by the orange floating screen in front of him.

Some would call him obsessive but he just couldn't help to admire it. Barely an hour ago, he won the fucking cosmic lottery. The best gift anyone could receive. And he was already powerful. Soon enough he knew, he'll become fucking invincible and the world will be oyster.

Reaching towards the door handle and gripping it, he pried the door open almost robotically. When he stepped out of the house and down the porch. Sunlight beams hit his face.

Lincoln took a deep breath and stood there enjoying the sunny weather for a bit.

Only to be interrupted by the obnoxious honking of the Vanzilla.

He sighed and trotted to the car with a "coming". He gripped the door handle and entered the stuffed car.

"Don't you dare lay your ass on the sweet spot, Stinklon. I've been aimin' at it before you even wake up. So unless you fancy yourself a knuckle sandwich, I recommend you back off. " Lynn said, turning around to face Lincoln with a sneer. She even punched her fist into her right hand's palm for emphasis.

Lincoln didn't even dignify her with a response.

"..." Lincoln was still in his power fantasy induced haze, imagining the endless possibilities the gamer system could give him. He took a seat between Lucy and Luan.

"Oi, asshole, I'm not done talking to you!" Lynn's fists clenched beside her and she stomped her foot on the car's seat. She turned around and knelt on it. Half of her angry face peeked from behind the seat.

Lucy slowly turned to regard him. She raised a finger and poked him in the shoulder. Something that he didn't react to.

"Wow." she muttered gravely before she kept poking him while Lynn shouted like a raging chimpanzee in the background.

And poked.

And still didn't stop the poking.

Lori took a U-turn so harshly, it made the passengers in the car seats spill over each other creating a human salad.

"EW, LANA. GET YOUR NASTY BUTT FROM OFF MY FACE. YOU ARE RUINING MY GLOW SKINCARE."

"I couldn't get up even if I wanted to, princess. Have some god damn patience for once in your life for fuck's sake."

"Would a sibling unit kindly assist me in the endeavour of finding my glasses? I'm afraid I can't discern my environment without them."

"Sigh…"

"Dude, Leni, your elbow is killing my tits."

"Sorry"

"Ow, I think I broke a tooth and it's bleeding…"

"This is all somehow Milk-lon's fault-"

The car suddenly halted.

"RAAAAAUUUGGGHHH" Lori screamed like a banshee being dragged to Brazil from the driver's seat. She screamed again and started slamming her head in frustration on the steering wheel; making the car honk over and over.

"Uhhhh...you okay, brah?" Luna, along with everyone excluding Lincoln, looked very disturbed. She tried reaching with a hand to put in her elder sister's shoulder only to flinch when Lori's head snapped with inhuman speed towards them.

"Okay, how about we play a little game? It's called anyone who doesn't put a boot in their mouth and is quiet will literally get kicked out of the car." Lori said, putting her free arm around the seat behind her in an attempt to appear casual only betrayed by the rapid twitching of her left eye and the wobbly smile on her face.

"Female sibling unit, I regret to inform you that such a game does not exist within my folk game encyclopedia that I personally oversee and- and-" Lisa lectured while dusting her glasses and putting them on. She was interrupted by Lori. "And I'll cease talking"

"Well, I just invented it! Isn't that crazy? Lori Loud is capable of playing games that aren't on her phone! Insane, huh?" Lori interrupted Lisa with a strained chuckle. Her eyes held all the unsaid warnings needed for her to drop it.

When everyone moved from the top of each other, Lincoln was already finished rummaging through the gamer system. He quietly murmured 'Window' and closed it. He then talked.

"So...what's this all about? Did something happen to you, Lori?" Even with the tension still hanging thick in the air, Lincoln couldn't help but ask quietly.

[5 affections gained with Lori Loud for caring about her wellbeing]

Huh.

"Finally back to planet earth, huh Stinklon?" Lynn replied from the row before him while bouncing off a baseball on the floor.

Lincoln ignored her in favour of waiting for Lori to reply which made her stop bouncing the ball with a look of bafflement on her face.

"STOP. IGNORING. ME." A frustrated Lynn screeched at him. Lincoln looked like he was about to reply when Lori finally talked.

"It...it isn't important," Lori said, looking at him from the wing mirror with her features softening. She looked back at the road with her head hanging.

"Codeword for: Bobby cheated on me because I'm a miserable prude." Lola snarked from the back seat while tapping the window only to be elbowed by Lana.

"What the fuck? Do you want her to throw your haughty little ass out in the freezing cold? Because I'm pretty sure you can't navigate your way through a grocery store let alone the road to school." Lana said while glaring at her.

"YOU SAVAGE! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?" Lola screeched back at her.

They were both stopped short by the faint sounds of sobbing from the driver seat.

"O.M.G Lori. Are you crying?" Leni said in an alarmed manner. She bolted upwards, unknowingly crushing poor Luna's hand underneath her, making Luna groan. She then stumbled to the driver's seat and hugged Lori.

"Great fucking going, you pink bitch. You just made our sister just because."

Meanwhile, Lincoln was in another realm of his own.

Ping!

Mission: Vanzilla Vendetta

Your eldest sister has been emotionally compromised because of teenage drama and now it's up to you to take the mantle.

Requirements: Drive The Vanzilla towards each of your passenger's respective destinations all before the time runs out. ????.

Rewards: [Blood lust detection, 9 Charisma, 17 Agility, [Automatic dodging]

Bonus Rewards: ????.

Failure: Death, The death of your passengers.

Lincoln paled slightly at the consequences of failing but ultimately shrugged and accepted it. He drove all his life with manuals and automatics. How could this be any different?

Really, they were making this almost too easy for him.

[Accept/Decline]

(Entering the Crazy Taxi event, please wait…)

Wait, what?

Random event picked: Zoo Escape!

Oh no.

Oh, fuck no.

"Uhhh guys, like, are the windows supposed to be shaking like this?" Leni asked, looking around her while still hugging Lori.

"No…" Luna replied, also doing the same and rubbing her hand.

Lincoln looked at the side-view mirror to find round, grey, horned masses rapidly approaching the car.

They reached so closely, he could practically hear the sounds of their hooves hitting the road.

"Lori, give me the steering wheel." Lincoln kicked himself off his seat and ran towards Lori's position.

"Lincoln wha-" She asked him quietly. She and Leni we're suddenly looking at him strangely.

"LORI. STEERING WHEEL. NOW." Lincoln barked in the tone he used to admonish his children. It shocked the Loud sister as they weren't used to Lincoln sounding so authoritative.

Without asking for any more permission, Lincoln was already on the wheel. A little time counter with a little pixelated icon of his face blinked into existence. He slammed his left foot on the gas. The car lurched forward suddenly, making everyone's heads whip back except for Lincoln's.

Lincoln had an intensely focused expression that looked out of place on his face.

He continued off the intersection Lori stopped in and turned the car's steering wheel right, driving the car into another road. He made the rhinos trotting after the Vanzilla stumble and fall like bowling pins.

He would never admit it but he always had a certain fantasy about riding the Vanzilla that never quite died out from his childhood. He never got to fulfil it because by the 2030s the van was already scraped metal which made sense. After all, it was owned by their grandfather. Nonetheless, he was glad he was given the chance to drive it again.

Just as he was wiping the sweat that accumulated on his forehead, his eyes widened and forced the car to stop as a herd of wildebeests ran through the side road in front of them. They cleared and the traffic light turned green.

He pressed his foot on the gas again. Lightly this time. Calming down a fraction and allowing himself a breath of fresh air, he paced the van slower towards with a satisfied smile.

They were already at the Royal Wood high school.

He stopped the van at the side of the road in front of the school and opened the door. Everyone stared at him.

"Holy shit lil' bro...That was SICK." Luna said enthusiastically. She hit the seat with both of her fits

"That was awesome, Linky!" Leni grinned and did a little clap.

"Who taught you to drive like that?" Lynn narrowed her eyes in mock suspicion and smiled teasingly.

Other sisters were about to go on with their praises when Lincoln raised an arm.

11-year-old Lincoln Loud would take this opportunity to wallow in the compliments. After all, he was the same boy who acted like a rich, snobby asshole just because he won a limo ride. But young Lincoln was insecure. He simply didn't know what he liked or what his position in life was. He always switched personalities to fit in with the criteria of people. He exaggerated every little success he made thinking it would make his achievements rival his sisters' back when he had no hobbies he was good at.

But Lincoln wasn't eleven. At least, not mentally. He knew what he liked and what his hobbies were which included but not limited to writing and drawing comics, reviewing movies, tasting different types of alcohol, driving fast cars and taking night walks at wee-hours and even sometimes, fishing.

Sure, they might have appeared as such vintage stuff when you lived in the age of Ultra-Virtual Reality and plasma powered jetpacks but he never really cared what he or his preferences appeared like to others. His life that was barely hanging by a thin line from poverty taught him to appreciate the simple things in existence.

The loneliness he felt from the ever-increasing cracks in his family's closeness to him and each other made him adapt to preferring such secluded and distant activities.

"Thank you, girls. But I think you should get going before the period finishes." Lincoln brushed off the praise easily. Which made his sisters stare at him again.

None moved, however.

"You okay, baby bro? You seem kinda jammed today…" Luna asked in genuine concern.

Lynn looked as if she remembered something. Suddenly, she narrowed her eyes in actual suspicion at Lincoln from the seat behind him.

It was funny that even after he was thrown into an entirely different timeline that he still felt like a stranger around his sisters.

"Don't worry Luna. It really is nothing. You should probably go now though." Lincoln replied easily, making the seniors of the Loud sisters make their way out of the van.

"We'll talk about this later, capiche? Bye, hot wheels" Luna said and winked at him halfway out of the door to which Lincoln simply nodded at.

Lincoln twisted the car keys again, starting the engine. Vanzilla headed towards Royal Woods Elementary.