A/N: When in canon does this take place? Why is Shadow Weaver now an overbearing but well-meaning parent to Catra? And of course, why did I write this?
The answer to all of these questions is that I do not know. Enjoy.
"What is going on?" Hordak asks. He doesn't want to deal with the Force Captains and the prisoner accompanying Shadow Weaver, but he'll take anything to distract him from the pain. Maybe later Entrapta will be done with her work and can engage him in scintillating conversation.
Shadow Weaver shoves Catra into the middle of the room; she scowls.
"Romances have been occurring among your soldiers," Shadow Weaver says.
"I do not care. If the romances do not significantly detract from –"
"The Force Captains are having romances with traitorous deserters," Shadow Weaver says calmly. "I cannot in good conscience allow Catra, the rising star of your forces, to be engaged in dalliances with this." She gestures at the prisoner, who gives an awkward wave.
"Adora of the rebellion, formerly Force Captain Adora, at your service."
Hordak waves a hand impatiently at Shadow Weaver.
"Execute the traitor and discipline the Force Captain. I have no time for this nonsense."
"Unfortunately, we feel that executing the traitor would have negative effects on our relationship with the rebellion, not to mention Force Captain morale," Shadow Weaver says as Catra snarls something about how it they're going to kill Adora they have to get through her first.
"Then throw the traitor in the dungeons until she is dead," Hordak says. He is nothing if not a reasonable leader.
"I'd break Adora out," Catra says immediately, and Hordak sighs. He sees no reason why he should be dragged into this soap opera.
"Therefore," Shadow Weaver continues, "I have proposed a fair solution that all parties should follow. The traitor will be banished, and Catra shall be set up on a date with an alternate selection, one who is similar to the traitor in some ways but retains their loyalty to the Horde."
She gestures dramatically to the other Force Captain, who shuffles into the corner of the room with a "really, I don't think we need to –"
"Scorpia and Adora are both blonde and foolish, and care deeply for Catra for reasons I am unsure of."
"Hey!" Adora snaps. "We're not foolish, and Catra has a lot of good qualities!"
"What she said! And I'm not even blonde, anyway!"
Shadow Weaver ignores the Force Captains and puts a hand on Catra's shoulder, speaking directly to her.
"Catra, I am doing this for your own good. This will make you happy."
"You're not my mom," Catra mutters. "Go ahead, banish Adora, but I'll be going with her."
"Fine."
"Fine!"
There's a scuffle at the door, and Hordak turns to see a woman in pink indignantly divesting herself of the guards.
"Princess Perfuma of the rebellion, hostage negotiator," she announces. "Release Adora and any other prisoners allied with the rebellion, please."
"Did you just say 'please' in a hostage negotiation?" Catra asks, then cackles. Perfuma sniffs indignantly.
"You're too late, they're banishing me already," Adora says.
"Well!" Perfuma looks rather indignant. "I've prepared very well for the hostage negotiation, and it is a shame that my hard work is not being put to use. All the same, excellent." She then notices Scorpia, and Hordak sinks lower in his chair and puts a hand over his eyes.
"Hey," Scorpia says, waving at Perfuma. Perfuma brightens so much that she gets six inches taller.
"Hello! Lovely to see you. You look amazing, as always. Have you been working out?"
"Uh-huh, yeah, you too." Scorpia wedges herself into the argument that's raging between Catra and Shadow Weaver, and Perfuma looks more than slightly put out.
"Enough!" Hordak roars. "Banish the rebellion fighters and get back to your posts!"
At last, his throne room becomes quiet.
…
Meanwhile, in the farthest reaches of the fortress, an even less significant argument is being had.
"Why do we have to do a play?" Entrapta whines. "I could just program the robots to say our lines."
"That's not the point of a play," Lonnie says firmly. "The point of a play is to –" she scans the clipboard, lips moving soundlessly – "collaborate and have fun."
"We could collaborate and have fun building robots."
"Lonnie, darling, I'll handle this," a voice purrs by Lonnie's ear, and she has to suppress a shudder. She should be used to Double Trouble popping up and sneaking around by now, especially since she invited them to be in the play, but they're just so creepy.
"Entrapta, the theatre is so much more than the lines of the play. Theatre is a world of art and magic and extravagant worlds that cease to exist as soon as the curtain falls. Theatre is my passion, and it should be yours as well." When Entrapta looks unconvinced, Double Trouble sighs. "And you'll only be allowed to design the stage if you also have a part in the play."
"All right," Entrapta says, not looking very happy with the arrangement, before she brightens. "We could borrow one of the big conference rooms and rig up fifty lights, and do trapdoors –"
"Worry about that later, Entrapta." Lonnie passes out the scripts. "Double Trouble, you're an actual thespian, so you'll be playing the lead role, Pyramus."
"Who is this Pyramus? A lover or a tyrant or a soldier or a sage?" Double Trouble transforms themselves to look like the costumes as they say the words, so the overall effect is a kaleidoscope of pantomime.
"He's a lover, I'm guessing from the script?" Kyle volunteers.
"Kyle, don't interrupt the thespian process. You're right, though," Lonnie adds. "Pyramus and Thisbe are tragically star-crossed lovers, separated by their families' enmity. Entrapta, you'll be Thisbe."
"Okay?" Entrapta opens her script and flips through to some of her lines. "'O Pyramus, as the moon loves the night and the sun loves the day, as a horse loves its life but not as a unicorn loves its life because unicorns don't exist, so do I love thee.' Seems a little over-the-top."
"You can't trust someone like her with a leading role," Double Trouble says. "I can play Thisbe too. Watch. 'O Pyramus!' 'O Thisbe!' 'Thou art truly the cleverest, wickedest thespian ever to grace the stage!' 'Thou hast forgotten that I am also the most devilishly attractive.'"
"Enough!" Lonnie has to shout to be heard over Double Trouble chewing up the scenery. "Rogelio, you're the lion, because the part doesn't have any lines and you just have to roar."
"His voice is all wrong for the roar of a lion," Double Trouble chimes in. "Better to give that role to me too."
"You are Pyramus and nothing else," Lonnie insists. "Kyle, you're the wall."
Kyle looks a little downcast, but nods.
"Or I could be the wall," Entrapta offers. "That seems like it's better suited to my dramatic talents."
Lonnie facepalms as the bickering over who gets which part rises to a fever pitch. Being a director is not as glamorous as it sounds.
…
Perfuma finds herself with Adora and Catra fairly quickly, since they're all trying to get out of the Fright Zone as quickly as possible.
"Did Scorpia offer to come with you?" she asks.
Catra frowns.
"No, why would she?"
"I just thought – maybe – never mind," Perfuma says. Well, if Scorpia doesn't even care enough to say goodbye to me, then I'm done. I'm done moping over her, and I'm going to go find someone who actually cares about me.
After several moments, Perfuma realizes that falling out of love is not as easy as it sounds.
"Why does Scorpia care so much about you, anyway?" she asks dispiritedly.
"Well, I was really horrible to her for a long time, for a variety of reasons." Catra doesn't seem remotely contrite, and Adora smacks her in the shoulder. "Ow! Okay! 'But I've learned my lesson and will treat everyone nicely from now on,'" she says in a mocking, sing-song tone of voice.
Perfuma sighs in despair. She can't imagine being mean to any living creature, especially not one she cares about so much, and if that's what it takes then she'll just have to die alone.
No, Perfuma is a good person, and she doesn't have to compromise her principles or give up on finding love. She'll be persistent.