A/N: I swear I'll update my actual stories at some point, but this one is just so much fun to write. Enjoy!

"I'm just saying that if you hadn't brought up the tree we wouldn't have had the argument," Glimmer insists.

"Well, if you hadn't taken the mention of the tree like a personal insult, then we also wouldn't have had the argument!"

Bow and Glimmer's voices drift away, and Mermista lifts her head off the table long enough to groan.

"What exactly is going on with them?" Seahawk asks, glancing nervously around the room. Being invited to an audience with the new queen, as Mermista's bodyguard (Seahawk knows she means a plus-one), probably wasn't supposed to consist entirely of Bow and Glimmer bickering and ignoring them.

Mermista shrugs.

"Glimmer's stressed because of everything, and Bow has a headache. It started off as an argument about what to do with the Horde, then they started arguing about other stuff, and now they're arguing about the last argument. Ugh."

"We have to do something to help them reconcile!"

"Like what? Until Perfuma gets back from hostage negotiation, we all have the collective conflict resolution abilities of a particularly psychotic wolverine."

"Mermista, don't say that. You have, at the very least, the conflict resolution abilities of a slightly less psychotic wolverine."

"Shut up," Mermista groans. "You come up with a plan if you care so much."

"I could set my ship on fire," Seahawk offers. "Or we could do something sensible like talk to Bow and Glimmer and help them realize that they really do care about each other despite their differences. Oh, and set the ship on fire as a distraction!"

"We are nowhere near the sea."

"That's hardly an insurmountable obstacle when you can manipulate water."

"No setting anything on fire."

Seahawk starts to protest that setting things on fire works, but stops when Mermista looks at him. Judging by her grin, she has an idea and it's going to involve danger.

"I happen to have a few vials of a volatile and extremely dangerous love potion on hand. Two drops into each eye and they fall madly in love with the next person they see. All of Bow and Glimmer's conflict will be forgotten."

"I never knew you were such a romantic deep down, Mermista."

Mermista groans.

"Whatever. Go stick some love potion in Glimmer's eyes. I'll deal with Bow. If Adora's back, you can deal with whatever's going on with her and Catra too. They're too dumb to talk about anything, and the love potion should at least get them to admit their feelings."

"I will solve all the romantic entanglements of our allies! Godspeed to you, Mermista!"

Mermista hands over a glass vial of mysterious liquid and then settles back in her chair as Seahawk leaves. The vials are from some old woman at a flea market, who was clearly a fraud (way too into the whole "eccentric old witch" bit), but Mermista doesn't let her subjects go hungry, so she bought a so-called "love potion" or two on principle.

Now, Mermista has at least six hours of waiting for Seahawk to bumble through Brightmoon and put water in people's eyes, while she relaxes with a good book, some chocolate, and zero people to annoy her.

…

Adora and Catra got separated from Perfuma pretty quickly, but that's okay since they're back in the mostly-civilized areas of Etheria, in this case a vast forest free of Horde soldiers or mysterious creepy tech. It's almost like old times, talking and laughing, getting to tease Catra about how she deserted the Horde for Adora.

"Kind of weird that Shadow Weaver thought we were in love, though," Catra comments. "I mean, I did spend months sad because you left, but not because I was pining for you or anything!" she adds hastily when Adora smirks at her.

"Aww, so you do care."

"Shut up!"

It turns into a wrestling match pretty quickly, tossing each other onto tree roots, and it really does feel just like the old days, back when they were on the same side. Maybe they're on the same side again, but Adora's not sure if temporarily deserting the Horde for Adora's sake counts as being on the side of the rebellion.

…

In another corner of the same forest, Scorpia is hiking through the trees pretty quickly except for when a branch hits her in the face, muttering about friendship or something. Perfuma's following her, but purely to make sure she's safe and not in a creepy way at all.

All this running around forests is getting a little ridiculous, so Perfuma discreetly arranges for a plant in Scorpia's path to grow six feet tall and sprout magnificent glowing flowers so even in the semi-darkness it's impossible not to notice them. Scorpia stops in mild confusion, then bends down to smell a flower, wincing when her nose catches on a thorn. Right on cue, Perfuma steps out from behind a tree.

"Oh, hello!" she says. "What a coincidence, that in this big forest we just happen to run into each other!"

"Oh, hey, Perfuma. You haven't seen Catra, have you?"

"No," Perfuma says, frowning. The plant starts getting pointier and more impassable. "Why are you looking for her?"

Scorpia's face lights up.

"Catra's, well, she's incredible. She got me out of a lot of scrapes, and we're friends, and I thought I should go after her. Maybe I'll persuade her to go back to the Horde with me, or maybe we'll just settle down around here and build a nice little cottage with flowerboxes in the windows –"

A spiky vine twines itself around Scorpia's leg, but she doesn't even seem to notice. When Perfuma notices what the plant is trying to do, she glares at it until it shrinks back remorsefully, then gives Scorpia her best totally-not-heartbroken smile.

"That sounds lovely," she says.

Soon, Scorpia is back to hacking her way through the forest, muttering about how it didn't seem nearly this impassable before, and Perfuma leaves her.

"Go find Catra! As if Catra even cares about her! As if Catra would bring her flowers and meditate with her and help her find inner peace!"

She's still muttering furiously when she steps into a clearing and quite literally stumbles across what turns out to be Adora, sleeping contentedly. Catra's about six feet away from her, dozing contentedly and emitting adorable little kitty snores. The clearing is full of footprints, Catra's claw-marks and Adora's clunky boots and some other print she doesn't recognize.

Adora yawns and opens her eyes blearily, and Perfuma waves uncertainly at her.

"Whoa, Perfuma, you're here."

"Yes, I'm here," Perfuma says nervously.

"Perfuma, wow. You're all – flowery and glowing. Pretty."

Perfuma prepares to rush out of the clearing and blame it all on Adora being half-asleep, but she's not going to deny that she appreciates compliments.

Adora's eyes open wider.

"Perfuma, you're so – so cool with the plant stuff. You're like the dawn, and roses, and stuff. See, that's poetry, right there."

Adora stands unsteadily and grabs Perfuma's shoulder.

"I love you, my angel."

If Perfuma were a more confrontational person, she would scream and run. Perfuma is not a confrontational person, so all that escapes is a little "Oh, dear."

She's really hoping this is somebody's idea of a joke.