Powers made everything easier.
"Sho, not at the table."
Sho stuck out his tongue at big sis. She was just jealous. Dad was always telling her that power was nothing without control. That was why she couldn't do this without making a mess. When she poured her cereal she picked up the box by hand and shook the cereal out. She also put the milk first, but that was wrong for a while other reason, but Sho was still so much better than her at this. He could take a bunch of cereal pieces out with his powers and then put them in the bowl. And then the milk. The milk went second. Everyone knew that they milk went second.
He picked the milk up with his powers.
But then he put it down. She could pick up liquids. She could pick them up and keep them in shapes, not just globes, and then she could move them…and he should have been able to do that too. He would have thought, before, that using his powers would have been hard. That it would have taken a while to learn. It hadn't. Once he got his powers, once the pain stopped, using his powers had been kind of easy. Like he was supposed to have them. But he wasn't.
He reached inside the milk jug with his powers and pulled out enough for a bowl of cereal.
"Son."
Sho ignored dad. He knew what he was doing. Dad was going to be so impressed. Like when Sho ripped that tree up out of the ground. Dad had been so impressed with him. Dad had even said so. But that had been last year. This was a whole new year. This year would be different. They were still at that same house in the middle of nowhere. Sho wondered if they would be moving soon. Maybe back to Japan. Maybe back to the house. Maybe mom had come back to the house. Maybe she was back and she was waiting for him and then she would see that he had powers….and he didn't know what she was going to do then….but he still had powers and they were cool and mom would go back to loving him and-
The milk jug wobbled.
It was just because the milk got caught in the top. Sho wished that they got milk out of buckets or something. He was trying to keep the milk in a shape, like big sis could keep liquids in shapes, but that was hard because he still had to get it out of the jug. He couldn't change the shape of the milk because then he would end up dropping it and then he would fail and then dad would not like him anymore…and that would have been the worst. The very worst. He needed dad to like him….
The milk wobbled again.
"Daughter, stop your brother before he makes a mess." Said Dad. He didn't even look at Sho when he said that. Even though dad was right there he still had big sis boss him around. He could have at least bossed Sho around himself.
"I am not going to make a mess." Said Sho. Even if he did it wasn't like this was the last milk in the whole entire world. They had plenty of milk left in the world. If they didn't have any milk left besides this then big sis would have been freaking out. She loved milk. It was like water to her. Dad never said anything to her about drinking milk all the time but every time Sho drank more than a liter of pop a day suddenly he was just the worst person ever. Dad never said mean stuff to big sis. Dad liked big sis better. He would always like big sis better.
"Yes, dad." Said big sis. She was so mealy mouthed sometimes. It was like she only opened her mouth to say 'yes dad' and 'no dad' and stuff like that. She should have told dad that, obviously, Sho had this. She should have believed in him or helped him or something. Dad should have believed in him, too. He had powers. He had powers and now things were supposed to be different. Things were supposed to be better.
But they weren't.
Because dad still wasn't even looking at him. He was looking at his phone. He was looking at his phone and eating his cereal, hot cereal, all on his own without even looking at his own family. Dad didn't care. Dad didn't care about them….he didn't. But he would. Once Sho showed him what he could do then he would care and then everything would be better. It had been worth it. It had all been worth it because once dad saw what he could do then-
The milk jug tipped over.
But it didn't spill. Big sis caught it. She caught it with her powers and tipped back to the way it was supposed to be. She was at least looking at him…and he wished that she hadn't been. He wished that she had been looking down at her phone. They had phones now so she should have been looking at hers. He had a phone, too, so he should have been looking at his. Then everyone could have been doing their own thing and it wouldn't even have mattered that dad wasn't looking at him.
He wanted to kick her.
But he didn't because that would have been a jerk thing to do. He was a jerk. He didn't know why he was a jerk but he was a jerk. He was always doing mean things to her. He was always hitting her and kicking her and pushing her and saying the worst kind of stuff…and he hated that about himself. It was like there was another Sho inside of him and that Sho was mad at her and everything else in the world all the time. That Sho did jerk things…but that Sho was a part of him. Maybe he was just a jerk. He didn't know.
There was a splash.
She was pouring his milk for him now…like he was some kind of a baby. But he was not some kind of a baby. He was eight years old! He was eight and he was not a baby and he could have poured his own milk. He tugged on the milk jug with his powers. It didn't move. Well it moved a little but she just pulled harder. She was stronger than him…and it wasn't fair. Well it kind of was because she was older and she'd had her powers for longer…but dad was right there. Dad was right there and he was watching the whole thing and he could see how she was still so much better than he was even though he had gone through all of that and finally gotten his powers-
"I can do it myself." Said Sho
"I know but I wanted to do it for you." Said big sis
"Show off." Said Sho. He wanted to say more things, more mean things, but he didn't. He held himself back. He needed to stay calm and be calm and just…and just not be a jerk. He was just…he was just such a jerk sometimes…and he didn't know why. Kind of like how dad was a jerk all the time. Big sis said that dad could be really nice sometimes. Maybe dad was like him. Sho could be nice sometimes but most of the time he was a jerk….and he had no idea how to make it better.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to show off. I just saw that you were having trouble so I did it for you. It's easier if you just tip the whole milk jug forwards. If you try to pick up the milk before youre good at picking up liquids then you'll make a mess. I used to do that when I was really little. Before dad taught me how to." Said big sis. Sho sort of remembered that. He remembered being small, so small he still had to sit in a high chair even though he was big enough to escape, when big sis spilled milk all over the table. Mom just laughed and said that there was no use in crying over spilled milk….
Was mom at home?
What was she doing? Had she stayed up late to see the year change? Had she had a party like he and big sis had? With noise makers and sparkling juice and counting down for the new year in every country. They watched the year change in Japan and America and China and Australia and England and a whole bunch of other places. There were fireworks and excitement and the excitement never stopped no matter how many times they watched the year change.
He mom stayed up that late?
Dad hadn't. Dad hadn't stayed up with them. He had been tired, he said, because of all the stuff that was happening in Claw. People were being moved around and stuff because of what he did when he got his powers. He had wrecked a whole division. Dad said that it was impressive, Sho had heard him talking on the phone, that it was impressive that a child had managed to do all of that. Sho was impressive. Dad was impressed.
But he wasn't impressed now.
"Does every single meal we share have to end in some sort of quarrel?" asked dad. He still didn't look up. He picked up his teacup with his powers and took a sip. He still didn't look up from his phone. He still didn't look up Sho.
"We're not fighting, dad, we're not fighting at all." said big sis. She was speaking for him, now, and he wished that she would have just gone back to being all mealy mouthed. 'Yes dad' and 'No dad'. At least she hadn't been speaking for him then.
"Yes we are. You keep on bossing me around and treating me like a baby. I can pour my own milk with my own powers and I can do it better than you, too." Said Sho
"How does one 'pour milk better'? Explain, Son." Said dad. It felt…nice…because dad was talking to him and looking at him now. Also he said 'Explain' which was what he was always telling big sis to do.
"She pours the milk first and then puts the cereal in. That's what she does and it's wrong. You have to put the milk first. That's how you make cereal." Said Sho. He said it calmly and clearly, like how dad was always telling them to be, and he was killing it. He was doing his best big sis expression. He was killing it.
"Scandalous." Said dad. He was smiling a little, just a little, and that was more than he usually did. Sho smiled too. He was doing something right. He was doing something right…and all he had to do was to imitate big sis. Copy her. That was what dad wanted, wasn't it, a copy of big sis…..
"If you put the milk in first then there's less room for cereal…and also you put in too much milk. Then you have to drink the milk from the bowl and that takes up valuable room in your stomach and then you can't eat as much cereal." Said Sho. He was still doing his best impression of big sis. Why was this was dad wanted? Why was this something that dad…that dad….why did dad just want to be with big sis? He was even sitting close to her. He was sitting on one end of the table, big sis was in the middle, and dad was at the other end.
"If you two can call the vile concoction cereal." Said dad. He was still smiling a little, just a little, which was so much more than dad….more than he usually did. He loved her so much more…but not for long. He had powers. That was why….that was why things would be better, because he finally had his powers.
"It's fruit flavored. Berry flavored. Citrus would kill me." Said Sho. Big sis was playing with her phone, now, and that was good. Let her be like dad. She was being like dad and he was being like her and maybe, then, dad would be more like mom…not the leaving them part, no, but the being nice to them part. This was being nice to them…by dad's standards. Which were different than the standards of normal people.
"I know. I'm well aware of your allergy. How that happened I will never know." Said dad. Now he wasn't smiling anymore. Now he was back to looking at his phone. Sho went back to looking at his cereal.
"It's not my fault I have allergies." Said Sho quietly. That was not something that he had any control over and it was wrong of dad to be upset with him about it. Did he think that Sho asked to have allergies? Did he think that Sho liked the fact that if he had any citrus, any at all, that he would die?
"I know. If anything it's mine. Mine and your….it's my fault. Somehow I passed an allergy down to you…even though I don't have any allergies at all." said dad. Sho had no idea how it worked. He knew that you got things from your parents because they were the people who made you. They did something gross and sick and wrong and then they made you and you were there. He got his hair and eyes from dad. He got his freckles from mom. He got his powers from dad. He got how much he liked animals from mom.
At least he got stuff from their parents.
Big sis didn't look like anyone in their whole family. She had black hair and brown eyes and her skin was always pale as a ghost even when they went to the beach and stuff. At least he looked like people in his family…and at least he had powers too. Now people would be able to tell just by looking at him and dad together that they were a family. His aura even looked like dad's, red, while her aura was pink and blue and didn't look a thing like his or dad's. The only thing that she had gotten from dad was her powers. The only thing that she had gotten from mom was the fact that she was a girl.
He wished that she had gotten a citrus allergy from one of their parents.
"Well I can't help it." Said Sho crossing his arms.
"I know you can't." said dad. He said it kind of like he was upset. He might have been. Who knew with dad? Everything was always making him upset. There was no telling what would set him off next.
"It's ok, Sho, you're wonderful just the way you are." Said big sis. That was the worst thing. He hated it when she said that. She was always telling him that, had been telling him that for his entire life, and always when he talked about how much he wanted powers. Well she didn't have to say that anymore because he was better, now, because he finally had powers.
"I know that." Said Sho through gritted teeth. He crossed his arms and gritted his teeth and that was all that he was going to do. Even though he felt like he was going to be a jerk again. He tried not to. Dad hated it when he and big sis fought.
"Ok. It just seemed like you were upset. I don't like it when you're upset." Said big sis. She was being like dad, now, telling him how to feel. He was allowed to feel however he wanted. Mom had said so. Mom had said that he was fine just the way he was. Mom loved him for who he was. Mom had always loved him for who he was. That was why big sis could never be mom, aside from the fact that mom was a whole different person entirely, because she was always trying to tell him how to feel and how to be. He was always getting bossed around by her. Dad was always making her boss him around.
It just was not fair.
"I can be however I want to be. You don't get to tell me how to be." Said Sho
"But I was just-" said big sis
"You are not the boss of me. You don't get to tell me which of my feelings are ok and which of my feelings aren't." said Sho
"I wasn't trying to-" said big sis. That was the worst part. He knew her. She hadn't been trying to be mean to him. She never tried to be mean to him. She just bossed him around. Dad was always telling her to boss him around. Maybe she was just…maybe she was just in the same boat that he was. Maybe she was sick of being bossed around too. Maybe she woke up sometimes and just…just wanted to go to bed again. Maybe she was just tired, too, tired of always having to try….
But she almost never had to try.
Everything had always come easy to her. He felt the pin pricks running up and down his arms. She had been born with her powers. She had been born right and he had been born wrong. He had powers now but…but she was still better than him. She had her powers from birth and she…she would always be better than him. Dad would always like her better.
The realization makes his chest hurt.
The realization makes him want to be a jerk again. He wanted to kick her, to push her, to shake her and tug on her braids and…..and he doesn't. He just gets up from the table. He kicks his chair away from the table and runs back to his room. Not his room. The room. The room that he had woken up in after…after all of that….after they had put him in that machine and closed the doors…and then everything had hurt. They had….there had been so much hurt…it had hurt so bad….
And he had the scars to prove it.
He ran to his room and threw himself down on the bed. He tossed his shirt off and ran his hands up and down the pin pricks on his arms. They were there and they didn't hurt anymore. His tree, the big tree thing on his back, was pressed against the bed. He could feel it, sort of, again. The way that the electricity had set him on fire from the inside, it felt like, and it had been so much and it had hurt so much and-and-and-
His phone rang.
It was in his pocket. They had phones now. Nice ones. Dad had said that they were nice phones. He said that they had a lot of memory and the screens were big and the cases were supposed to keep them from breaking. Because, according to dad, Sho destroyed everything he owned. Sho didn't destroy everything he owned. He knew how to take care of this things. He knew how to keep his things nice. He had bene carrying his things, some of them, from country to country since mom had left and…and nothing was ruined or broken…
He got mad and broke his things sometimes.
He wanted to smash his phone. He wanted to throw it across the room and watch it break…but he did not. Not just because this was the first phone he'd ever had ever, real phone not full of candy, but also because he had to prove dad wrong. He didn't ruin everything he touched.
He got a text.
It was from big sis. His texts were always from big sis. Who else would message him? It wasn't like he had any friends and it wasn't like dad was going to text him. Dad could barely stand to talk to him. He loved talking to big sis. He and big sis hung out in dad's room all night and talked and watched TV and Sho was never invited…though it seemed boring so he didn't even care one bit. Not one bit.
'I'm sorry little brother.'
She was always telling him how sorry she was. That was her favorite thing to say….because she meant it. He wished that she wasn't. He wished that she was a jerk. He wished that she was as much of a jerk as he was. He wished that she….that she was more like him. He had always wished for a little brother but…but maybe he should have wanted a big brother. If they were both boys, and she was older, then maybe she would have been as much of a jerk as he was. Older brothers were supposed to be jerks, right? But then again so were older sisters.
She was not a jerk.
He could see her aura. She was there outside of the door. There was a knock even though there was no reason for her to knock. This was both of their room. What, was she worried about waking him up? It was morning time. They had to be awake now. They had to be awake when the sun was awake and asleep when the moon was out no matter what their body clocks said. Sho wondered what country his body clock thought that it was in. Not Japan, that was for sure.
"Sho? Can I come in?" asked big sis. Sho didn't say anything. He just waved his hand and opened the door with his powers. She was there. She was there and she had a bowl of cereal in her hands even though dad was always saying that they could only eat in the kitchen…even though Sho knew for a fact that she and dad ate popcorn when they watched TV in his room. Not that he cared. Dad liked his popcorn with way too much salt and way too little butter. Sho liked kettle corn, it was sweet, but caramel corn was the best. Big sis liked caramel corn the best too. She just didn't tell dad because then he would love her less. It wasn't fair. They had to do so much to get dad to love them. Mom had always just loved them for who they were. She had always been so nice to them all the time…but then she had left. She had left and now….and now this was their lives.
"It's your room too, you know, you can come in whenever you want." Said Sho
"I know. I just didn't want to bother you. I can tell that you're upset…I don't know why but I know that you're upset. I brought you your breakfast. After you eat we can do something fun. I bet that there's a sledding hill somewhere around here we can have those weird aura guys take us to. There might be a dog park, too, and it's been a while since we played with any dogs. Or maybe we could play some of our new games? Or maybe-" said big sis. She crossed the room while she talked and left his bowl of cereal on the nightstand.
He didn't want it.
"Do you know what I want to do, big sis? Sit here. I want to sit here." Said Sho. He wanted to be alone. Sometimes he just wanted to be alone…or to be with someone else. He missed having other kids to play with. All he had was his big sis. He wished that he had friends, even a best friend, because she was his sister. She couldn't be his best friend, too. What kind of a guy had a sister for a best friend?
"But you have no shirt on." Said big sis. She poked him in the stomach. Her finger was long and her nail was kind of sharp….but he knew that she hadn't meant to hurt him. That wasn't the sort of person she was…and it wasn't fair. She was being all nice like mom was. She was being more like mom….and that meant that he was being more like dad….and the last thing he wanted was to be like his dad. Aside from having powers. He had always wanted powers and now he had powers and now…and now things were supposed to be better…even if they weren't.
"I know. I'm the one who took it off." Said Sho. He turned on his side and faced the wall just to get her to stop poking him. Only now, much too late, did he realize that she could see his tree. She touched it. She was always touching his tree. Whenever she saw it she ran her fingers up and down it. It was cool but she didn't have to touch it all the time.
"You aren't cold?" said big sis, her fingers still tracing up and down his tree. He wanted her to get hit with electricity so she could have one…and then he took the thought back just as soon as it came into his mind. He didn't wish what he went through to get his powers on anyone in the whole world. Especially his big sis.
"No. I'm fine." Said Sho. Even though he was a little bit cold now. He was a little cold and he wanted to put his shirt back on but he couldn't because he had just said that he was fine.
"Oh…ok. Um….I guess that I'll leave you alone then….but pleas eat, ok? I have to make sure that you eat three meals a day. Also please put a shirt on if you get cold. I'm also supposed to keep you warm. Also please come out and play with me if you get bored….because I'm also supposed to keep you entertained….and also I like playing with you." Said big sis
"….fine." said Sho. His back was still to her. He kept it to her until she left. Only when she left did he sit up and finally eat his cereal. He had bene hungry….even if he had tried not to be. He was a lot of things that he tried not to be. He tried to lift his spoon with his hand but it shook. It shook because he was mad. It shook because he was sad. It shook because he was cold. It shook for no reason at all. It just shook.
So he used his powers.
Powers made everything easier.