The Christmas tree was dead.

They should have put it in the ground when Christmas ended…but they hadn't wanted to. They liked it there, their tree, the first real tree that they had put up in their lives. Mom always said that there was no need to get a real tree because they had a perfectly good fake one in one of the treasure rooms. They hadn't waited for dad to say no when they got this tree, they had just ripped it up out of the ground and brought it inside and decorated it. It had been a very nice tree….but now they had to put it back.

But it was dead.

"I'm pretty sure that trees aren't supposed to be brown." Said Sho as he poked at the tree. Some of the needles came off and hit the ground. They should have put it back in the ground before. They should have maybe put a bigger water bucket underneath it. They also should have maybe brought in a smaller tree because the top was just about ready to break off from being bent.

"Maybe it's just….getting caught up with the other trees? Because trees turn brown in the fall-" said Mob. They were all packed up and had to get going. There was a plane waiting to take them to some other country and they had to leave this house behind, even though they had been there long enough to sort of get used to it, and they had to put the tree back.

It had died.

Well it was close to death. Mob could feel it. She touched it with her hand. It felt like it was about to die…and she didn't know how she knew that, just that she knew it, and that it was so sad. It had been such a nice Christmas tree but Christmas was over and New Year's was over and actually it was getting close to Valentine's Day…and they really should have put the tree back in the ground right when Christmas was over…

But they hadn't.

And now they had a dead tree in the living room.

"Not pine trees. We had pine trees in Japan and they didn't turn brown in the winter. That's just for trees with leaves, dummy." Said Sho. He felt bad about letting their tree die and he felt bad about being mean to his sister…he just felt bad in general…

"Right…..but we can still put it back in the ground." Said Mob. Poor tree….she should have taken better care of it. Now it was dead. It could have lived for thousands and thousands of years, like those giant trees she and Sho saw in California, or something like that. Now it was dead and they had killed it. They were tree killers.

"Why? It's already dead." Said Sho. Dad said that they should just leave it and the Awakened would get rid of it when they cleaned up the house. The house needed a lot of cleaning…mom had done the cleaning before so now there was no one to clean but the Awakened….and they would get rid of the tree…their Christmas tree…the one that they had made all by themselves. The one that he had pulled out of the ground all on his own.

"I know that it's dead, I can tell, and that's why it needs to go back in the ground." Said Mob. She held the branch in her hands. The needles prickled her. The needles were right to prickle her. The tree was right to hurt her like that. She had let it die. She had let it die and it was all her fault and now the tree was dead and it was all because she and Sho had decided to have a Christmas tree. Maybe mom had been right and there was no point in having a real tree. Maybe mom should have been there to stop them from ripping a tree up out of the ground. If she had been there

"It won't start growing again." said Sho. There was no point in it. The tree was dead and when something was dead then it was dead and there was no way to make it stop being dead. That was how death worked. Like if he had died, before, then he would have been dead and then that would have been it.

"We could give it a proper burial." Said Mob. Sho shrugged. That meant that he was going to help her put the tree back in the ground….even though she was such a dummy. They weren't supposed bury trees, just people and pets, because they left spirits behind. Mob saw them all the time. She saw them and she exorcised them. Sometimes they wanted her to and sometimes they didn't but she had to. Well she had to exorcise the evil ones. She had to exorcise the evil ones but she left the neutral ones alone…and also she had never felt a tree spirit evil, neutral, or good. But they still had to put the tree back in the ground.

It was the right thing to do.

You always had to do the right thing, that was why it was called the right thing, because it was right. Mom said that it was always important to do the right thing. Like when they found those baby birds in the yard and they wanted to bring them inside and raise them, even chew their food for them, but mom had said that they were better off with their mother. She put them back in their nest, it was a myth that their mother would hate them if they smelled like humans, and even though she and Sho had wanted to keep the birds the right thing to do would have been to leave them with their mother.

If mom had done the right thing then she would have….she would not have….

Mob didn't want to think about Mom. She hated thinking about mom. Thinking about mom made her sad. She had been without mom for two Christmases, two year changes, and now it was getting close to two Valentine's Days. Not that mom had ever done anything for Valentine's Day. When dad was around she made him dinner and then they went to their room for a while to hang out. She and Sho had to watch TV and play videogames and stay very, very, very far from mom and dad's room. She didn't have to watch Sho back then. If Sho needed something then he asked mom, not her, and then mom did stuff for him.

But mom was gone now.

And now Mob had to be mom. Mob had to be mom even though, like Sho was always telling her, she was not mom. She was not mom and she…she was doing her best. She made sure that Sho ate three meals a day and took a bath every few days and she brushed his hair and cut his nails and made sure his clothes fit and his shoes fit and that he did his homeschool homework and that he brushed and flossed and rinsed with fluoride rinse because they had some grown up teeth now and those did not grow back and-and-and she had to make sure that Sho took care of his teeth and his self and also that he was good and that he didn't break anything and that he didn't hurt himself or her and that he didn't bother dad and she also had to worry about herself and controlling her powers and doing her own school work and being good and doing what dad wanted and-and-and-

"Will you relax already? I'm putting the tree in the ground. Stop freaking out." Said Sho. He could see big sis' aura all the time, now, and it was bright. He used to just think that it was all the same sort of brightness but it flickered like a loose lightbulb. Like when he kicked his lamp off of the nightstand of their old room back at the castle and it flickered nonstop and then mom said that the lightbulb was loose…and then she fixed it. Mom always knew just what to do…

But she was gone.

She was gone. She was gone and she was never coming back but that was…that was fine. If she wanted to be gone…then she was gone. She was gone but he…he had his powers now so at least dad liked him. At least dad cared about him now. It had been worth it. Even though he got kind of scared, sometimes, when he took a bath…or the time he pricked himself with his fork and almost peed himself…or the time in the tub when big sis rinsed his hair without warning him and he flooded the bathroom…or the time he woke up and he didn't know what he had dreamt about but everything in the room was shaking and also he had wet the bed…but dad had been at work so big sis had took care of everything before dad noticed. They figured out how to do laundry…eventually…and all of the bubbles that came out of the washer were fun to slide around in. Mom would never have let them do anything like that.

Big sis was not mom.

"I-I wasn't…freaking out. I was just…thinking." Said Mob as she followed Sho through the house. He was carrying the tree with his powers. He was really good at holding things steady, better than Mob had been at his age. Sho had such good control…and she was not jealous. She had good control, too, maybe. She had to always work hard at keeping her powers under control…but that was ok because Sho didn't have to work hard at all.

And she was not jealous.

Because she loved him. She loved him and she wanted things to be easy for him…even if she had been spending her whole life trying to control her powers and he had just gotten his powers and he could already do so much without messing up…but she was not jealous. She had no reason to be. Sho had finally gotten everything that he had ever wanted. Powers and dad's love. She was happy for him. She was even more happy for him because control had come easy for him.

And he had lived through that terrible place.

"Well think about how we're supposed to have a funeral for a tree." Said Sho. He used his powers to open the front door. The tree was floating this time, he had dragged it before, and that was good. It meant that he was getting better. Big sis had told him, before, how hard it was to control her powers. He had trouble controlling his powers too but opposite of her. He had trouble getting his powers to start working and she had trouble getting her powers to stop working.

So it made sense that he had better control over his powers than she had.

And it made sense that he was impressing dad more than she ever had. Dad was always saying that he was impressive. No matter what Sho did dad was impressed. He was never impressed with big sis. He was always telling her that she had to have better control and stuff. He was always telling her what to do. Maybe that was why she was so bossy. Maybe it was just a never ending chain of bossiness. Well it did end, it ended with him, because he had no one to boss around. He got bossed around, like now, like how now he was going to have a funeral for a tree.

The things he did for his big sister.

He owed her one. He had been such a jerk lately. He owed her a lot, actually, because no matter what he did he always ended up acting like a jerk to her. Well to be fair she was always being bossy and annoying…but he still felt bad about all the stuff he did. Bad enough to even wear a dress the other day and play ceiling dinner….the ceiling dinner had been fun but he had hated wearing her dress….

The things he did for his big sister.

"Well think about why we're burying a tree." Said Sho

"Because…because I feel bad that we killed it. I feel bad and I just want to put it back in the ground. Even if we can't bring it back to life we can still put it back in the ground." Said Mob

"….help me carry." Said Sho. It made sense what she said…but he didn't want to say that. He didn't know why. He didn't know what made him not want to agree with her. That was him being a jerk again. He was such a jerk…and he didn't know why. Because he was a jerk. He didn't know why he was a jerk just that he was. It didn't make sense. Maybe he had just been a jerk, before, because she had powers and he hadn't…

But he did have powers now.

He had powers now…and she was more powerful…but he had better control. Dad was more impressed with him, he had said so, and dad hated it when they fought. Dad hated it when they fought and liked him now that he had powers and dad liked him and…and he had no more reason to be a jerk…aside from the bossiness…but she was always nice to him even if she was bossy…and he was kind of a jerk. Kind of the biggest jerk on the planet, it felt like, and he…he should have been nicer to his big sis…

The things he did for his big sister.

"Sure." Said Mob. She helped Sho carry with her powers. She didn't pick it up by hand, it was very big and she was very small, an also it was pointy. It was pointy because of the needles…which were everywhere…and also on her…and she was glad that she was glad that they were leaving that day. They were going to Korea, which was near Japan but not Japan, but was also maybe near enough to Japan that they could have gone back…at least for a little bit…and they wouldn't even bring trees inside because dad said that it was dumb to make a mess like that….even if they weren't the ones to clean it up he said that he hated stepping on needles….and then he told her to tell Sho to stop making such a mess.

She was in charge of Sho.

Even if he hated it. Even if she didn't much like it. She was the big sister and that meant that…that she had to take over after mom after she left. Because she was the next oldest girl. Back when they had been at home with mom she hadn't been allowed to boss Sho around. Things were different now. It was…ok. It was ok because Sho needed someone to take care of him. She had to take care of Sho…even if sometimes it didn't feel fair. It was unfair that she had to be the one to make sure that they both ate and took baths and did school stuff and made dad happy by not losing control or acting wrong or…or anything like that….and sometimes it was hard. Sometimes she forgot to do the right thing. Sometimes she forgot to make Sho take a bath or do his homeschool work and sometimes they fought and sometimes she let Christmas trees die.

She was such a bad big sister sometimes.

But she could still try her best. Like now. She was holding the tree up with her powers, now, mostly. This was her idea and she was going to put it back in the ground where it belonged and then she was going to get Sho all cleaned up because he was covered in needles and then she was going to double check their packing and then make sure that they had gum, too, for when their ears popped when the plane took off and then she had to help Sho with his homeschool stuff on the plane but also keep him from getting bored and then-

"Well, it's in the ground." Said Sho. He felt bad, now, for the tree. It wasn't fair to it. They should have just put it back….he shouldn't have pulled it up in the first place. He was always doing something wrong. He was a jerk to his sister and now he was a jerk to trees, too. He was just a jerk all together. Maybe it would have been better if they just left him at this house and then went on to the next one and then-

He hated feeling like this.

There had been so many bad feelings inside of him lately. Bad feelings that made him kick the walls and kick his sister….bad feelings that made him yell until his voice hurt…..bad feelings that made him want to push his sister down in the snow. He wanted to but he didn't. He just slammed that tree down way too hard. Better the tree than his big sister. Dad was not impressed when he hurt her. He should not have been hurting his big sister at all, not just because dad said that it annoyed him but because it was wrong, but he just…he didn't know what was wrong with him.

He was such a jerk.

"Not so hard. You're hurting it." Said Mob. She could tell, sort of, even though most people said that plants did not have feelings. Dad had said so when Mob told him that the plant on his desk was scared of him. Mob knew that she was just being dumb and weird and stuff….but she could sort of feel that plants had feelings….

"It's a tree." Said Sho sticking his tongue out. He wanted to push her down in the snow but he didn't…even though she had been kind of annoying there….and that was not a reason to push his sister!

"I know. It's just…hurt." Said Mob. She knelt down in the snow even though she wasn't wearing pants or tights, just a skirt and socks and boots, and she put her hands down on the ground. She moved the dirt over the tree's roots until they were covered like they had been before…but it was still almost dead…and she had let it die. She had messed up and it had died. She messed up all the time.

She cried a little.

She really wanted the tree to not have been dying. Dad always said, he was always saying, that she was good at taking care of Sho. She didn't think that she was. She was always messing up. Dad always told her that she was always messing up. He said that she was messing up and then he said that she was good at taking care of Sho…and it was confusing…and hard….hard for her to…to even…to even know what she was, sometimes. She hated that, how dad could be nice and then mean and then nice again and then mean…and maybe it didn't even matter. She knew that she was messing up. That was what mattered.

She cried.

Not loud crying, not like the kind Sho did in his sleep, just little tears. She didn't breath loud or sob or anything like that. Her tears just hit the frozen dirt and the snow burned the skin that it touched and soaked into the clothes that it touched and her tears were freezing on the ground and she was so sorry and she just wanted to be better, to do better, and for the tree to just start growing and-

And it turned green.

And then she was pushed face first into the dirt and snow.

"It's not fair!" shouted Sho. He finally had his powers and then she just-just-just-just-went and brought a tree back to life! How did that even happen!? Why did she have to go and do that! Just when dad finally started to like him she had to go and-and-and-

He ran back inside before he pushed her again.

"I'm sorry." Said Mob even though…even though she wasn't. She was sorry to have upset Sho but…but this was so cool. She had cried a tree back to life. It was like at the end of Tangled…or the Pokemon movie…she could heal things! Like Fukuda did! Maybe she could even heal all the scars all over Sho…the ones that she hadn't stopped him from getting….

She picked up a pine needle.

She poked her skin with it until it started to bleed a little. She couldn't make herself cry again but maybe if she focused….and she did…but she did not heal. She just…she just turned the pine needle green. She could heal plants? That was…she didn't know. She'd ask dad later. She had never seen him heal himself or plants but…but he might have known something.

She would ask him later.

After she made Sho feel better. She had hurt his feelings…even though she hadn't meant to…and now she had to make him feel better. She had to do her job. If he was in a bad mood now then he would be in a bad mood on the plane and then dad would be upset with her and then she'd…she'd have let him down…and then he would be so upset with her and then Sho would be upset with her and then her whole family, the members of her family that were there would be upset with her…and she didn't know if she could even handle that while they were in an airplane thousands of kilometers in the air going very fast…and now she was worried about losing control….

Power is nothing without control.

Conceal, don't feel.

This was neat. She had a new power and she would show dad and he would help her learn to use it like he had been helped her for her entire life. Then she could teach Sho and then he would stop being mad at her and then he would maybe even stop pushing her…even though she should not have been bothered by that because he was her little brother and she loved him…and also…and also she didn't like to be pushed but…but she still loved him…

Maybe it was like with dad. Sometimes when someone loved you they hurt you too.

But it was ok because things could get better. Like with the tree. It was dead but now it was alive again. Sometimes dad was mean and sometimes he was nice. He wasn't mean when she didn't deserve it. He was nice when she deserved it and mean when she deserved it. Sho was the same way. He was nice to her when she was a good big sister to him and he was mean to her when she was a bad big sister…even though being a good big sister meant taking care of him and…and that was what dad wanted….but if she did what dad wanted and took care of Sho then he got mad at her…

And it was hard.

It was so hard sometimes. You could do what you wanted but then…but then people would get hurt. Like with the tree. She had wanted it to be inside and then it had almost died. Or like with Sho. Sometimes she just wanted to play by herself and have fun and not have to worry about him but…but then…but then she would be being a bad sister. A bad big sister and a bad daughter. She just…all she wanted to do was to be good….and it was hard to be good…and to do the right thing…but she had to…to do the right thing even if it…

If….

The tree was alive. That was what mattered.