Bitter. That was how this day felt. Bitter.

Suzuki had come to really hate Valentine's Day.

He had been mostly neutral about this holiday. He hated chocolate, anything sweet really, but every year Masami got him a block of bitter black chocolate…which was enjoyable. Mostly because it was from her. Chocolate, even bitter black chocolate he could take or leave. She did more for him on Valentine's Day, too, and even though it was his day he still did his part for her. He had done his part for her….about two Valentine's Days ago. The last one…well actually even when they had still been together he had usually missed it…but they made it up to each other. Now she was the one who had missed Valentine's Day…and he didn't care.

He didn't.

He really didn't. She was a traitor. She had left him. He didn't care about…he didn't. This was just another day. This had been just another day. He woke up in a bed that was not his in a room that was not his in a country that was not his and then he got to work building up the world that was his. Well it would be his world, he just had to keep on working, and also not let himself get distracted by the date on the calendar.

Valentine's Day.

One this date about nine years ago or so he and Masami had gone on their first date. A walk through a museum, a meal, some, unusually good sex, and then a promise to repeat the process again and again. They had. It had not been a long courtship but there had been no reason for it to be. He knew long before they married, long before she even brought up the idea of marriage, long before they knew of Son's conception, that she was the most perfect person in the world and that he was going to spend the rest of his life with her. She was so perfect that she had to be his. He could not recall ever feeling for another woman what he felt for her…and that was long before they had sex. Before she had leaned in and kissed, even. Before her hand even met his for the first time. He just…knew…that she would be his.

That he loved her.

And he hates that word. It's so imprecise. Love was too vague to encompass everything that he felt…that he had felt….for her. The way that he needed to be beside her. The way that he needed to hear her voice. The way that he needed to remake the world for her, remake it into a place where she could be safe and happy, the way that he wanted to give her the world if she were to ask it…and she would have been right to ask it. The world may have fit in the palm of his hand but that did not mean that he was incapable of sharing it. He would have shared it with her. He would have shared everything that he had with her…and he had. He had given her his life, his body, his time, his money, his emotions, and his children.

It hadn't been enough.

He had no idea what else she had wanted from him. What area he had been deficient in. He had always spoken to her even when his head was pounding and he was just so drained from the million and one little annoyances that came from running Claw. He held her even when he was too warm or too uncomfortable and just wanted some space to process the cocktail of feelings that came with her touch. He gave her the biggest house he could and all the money in the world, almost, and she wanted for nothing. He had sex with her whenever she asked and he made sure that she never left their bed unsatisfied. He gave her two children, a boy and a girl, and he would have given her more…if she wanted them. But she hadn't wanted them. He had no idea what she had wanted.

She hadn't told him what she wanted.

She just left. She left him even after she promised that she would be there with him until the day she died. Well she hadn't died, she had left with the clear intent to disappear completely and never be found, and now he was all alone…with the children. She had left them alone with him. She had left him alone with them. She had betrayed him. She had betrayed the children. She had betrayed Son. She had betrayed Daughter.

He didn't want to think about it.

And last year he hadn't. He had drowned himself so completely in his work that the date had passed him by. Now….this year was different. For one thing Daughter had greeted him with a 'Happy Valentine's Day' which had then reminded him of the fact that it was Valentine's Day and then he had been reminded, again, when someone else decided to wish him a happy Valentine's Day…which wouldn't have been too bad if the woman who had wished him a happy Valentine's Day hadn't look so much like Masami….out of all the female espers in the world, admittedly very few, there had to be a light haired woman with blue eyes, very blue eyes, and the same habit Masami had of playing with her hair…

It hadn't been a good day.

And he just wanted to forget. He tried to work, he tried to complete his day as usual, but he just….couldn't. It was as if his mind were working independently of him. Every little thing reminded him of Masami. The feel of the tea cup in his hand…she really made a good cup of tea. The feel of his bed, cold on one side, when he got up that morning. She was in everything, her memory, and her absence. It…it had been easier and easier each day to deal with it, all of the emotions that came with her absence, and exorcising them had been getting easier…

But not easy.

And especially not today. He was having so much trouble forgetting that he decided to do something that went against everything the he believed in. True control came from within, he couldn't allow himself to be weak and dependent, and all of that. He was upset with himself for doing this, very upset with himself, but…but he needed to get out of the emotional hell that Masami had left him in. He would be angry with himself tomorrow, hell he welcomed something other than the pain of her absence in his life, but right now he had to exorcise these emotions by any means necessary.

He needed a drink.

So he had one. Korea was not Japan, so no good sake, but they had rice wine…which was not sake. He and Fukuda had debated this, ages ago when they had been young, that there was no difference between sake and Korean rice wine. Fukuda had questioned him more back then. Things had changed about when they finished school. He, eventually, acquiesced that there was a world of difference between rice wine from Korea and proper Japanese sake. Which was good. Suzuki would fight anyone who disagreed with him…and he was itching for a fight. Son got that from him, the propensity for violence and all of that, so really Suzuki shouldn't have faulted the boy…even though he should not have been quarreling with his sister. Daughter didn't have a violent bone in her body, she took after Masami in that regard, so there was no point in fighting with her. Son…he had inherited that, amongst other things, from his father….

Suzuki hoped that Son did not inherit this from him.

This emotional weakness that he carried with him. He hoped that his Son didn't inherit this. He hoped that his Son never found himself so fixated on a woman who had betrayed him that he decided to indulge in his worst impulses and put his very control on the line…though Son, amazingly enough, didn't have anywhere near that problems with control that Suzuki had been fighting with his entire life. Thank the universe for the small miracles he supposed.

He needed a big miracle.

He was just gone enough, had just drank enough, the he was hoping and wishing and praying for a miracle. He prayed for Masami to come back to him. He prayed, as the car rushed down the unfamiliarly familiar roads of this country towards the familiarly unfamiliar house he lived in, that Masami would be there to greet him. An absurd thought, the last desperate prayer of a man who had lost everything, even himself, and one that he knew that he universe would not grant….though he could hope.

He did hope.

He hoped as hard as he could. He hoped that by some miracle she would be there. Untouched by time, though it had only been a little less than two years, she would be there for him. She would be there and she would be waiting and he would not have been upset with her. No. Even though he had every reason to be, even though he had every reason to throw her to the streets and cast her out of his life for eternity he wouldn't. No. He wouldn't even raise his voice. He would lower himself down to the ground and kowtow for her forgiveness….and he was so weak….so pathetic…but if that was what it took, if that was what she wanted, then he would gladly kowtow to the ground for her.

He didn't have to kowtow.

It takes him a moment to realize that the car has stopped because he's back. He's back at the latest in his never ending string of temporary accommodations. It takes him a minute to realize that it's time to get out of the car. It takes him a minute to realize that it's time for him to go into the house. It takes him a minute to remember how to even get out of the car. In the end he ends up using his power…and cracking all the windows….but it doesn't matter. It's his car.

It's Claw's car.

And he's Claw. He is Claw, Claw is him, and therefore everything and everyone within it was his. A bit like that game he saw Son and Daughter playing, sometimes, on their tablets. That game of urban planning in which the object was to make the most prosperous city possible….a far cry from the old Game and Watch games he had wasted his time with when he was their age. He wondered what they were up to, his children. His little humans that he had made….one of which he had made. The little humans who he was responsible for. The little humans who would literally die without him. The little humans who called him 'dad'. The little humans who looked up to him. The little humans who spent every moment of their lives learning from him.

They were his….the thought hits him. It hits him as hard as the door does when he throws it opened with his powers. Right there, in that house, were two human beings who belonged him totally and completely…well everyone in Claw did…but he did not make everyone in Claw…and he did not make all of his children. He forgets that fact, sometimes, because Daughter is so much like him.

And so much like Masami.

"Dad…are you ok?" asked Daughter. She was still awake at this hour. He didn't know what hour it was, exactly, but he knew that it was long past the hour at which children were expected to be asleep. They had things to do in the morning same as he did. They had their lessons and then whatever else they filled their time with. He should have told her to go back to bed.

But he didn't want to.

"I….am fine. How are you?" asked Suzuki as he kicked his shoes off in the genkan…or whatever it was called here. He didn't know. He couldn't be bothered to know. He couldn't even be bothered to face his shoes the right way.

She faced his shoes the right way for him.

"I'm ok. I'm just worried about you. I felt your aura while you were coming home…and it felt weird. Also you forgot to make your shoes face the right way." said Daughter. She had thought of him. She was always thinking of others just as her mother did. Masami had always taken such good care of him, not in the way that the Awakened did, and not in the way that he could take care of himself. She had been….she had been everything….and now she was gone….

The lights above him flickered.

"I'm fine." Said Suzuki. He put his arm out and braced himself against the genkan wall. There had been some power to it, he figured, because the ceiling started to rain plaster down on both him and Daughter. She put up a barrier. She put up a barrier and watching him. He could feel her aura against his. She was watching him so carefully….

"Dad, are you sure? I know that I'm not supposed to question you but….but you've never been like this before…." Said Daughter. Right. She had never seen him drinking before. Not even socially. Well she never came with him, neither her nor Son, for those times when he had to pretend to be social. To pretend to be a social being….to understand what it was to want to be a social being…because not every part of his job was lording over people….sometimes he had to make an effort to fit in….

And he hated it.

And he hated feeling like this. He hated feeling so out of control. He hated being so out of control. He was a complete person on his own…at least he tried to be. He had lost her, his other half, the being that he had let be his other half…and now he was all alone…and it shouldn't have mattered if he all alone. He was a complete person on his own. He didn't need anyone but himself.

He reached for the wall again.

And Daughter was at his side. She held his hand and watched him, watched his aura, and her face seemed….worried. He'd deal with that later. Her display of emotion. She was not setting a good example for Son there….but then again he was not exactly setting a good example for her. Her own father came through the door at whatever hour this was stinking drunk…or maybe not to that point. He had a notoriously low tolerance….because he never drank…and in those times when he had to drink socially he usually had Fukuda fix him up when he started to feel it…but he was not going to bother Fukuda over this.

He had Daughter to take care of him.

"I can call Fukuda if you're sick. I really can, I have a phone now, and his number is in there. Him and you and Sho….and also Minegishi now. Wow…I have four phone numbers saved in my phone….but that's not important. I'm sorry. I should be worried about you right now." Said Daughter. She was supporting him, now, with her body and her powers. He rested a hand on her shoulder. He wondered how she could sleep in this thing. It was itchy, one of her wool night dress things, and he had no idea how she could stand wool so near to her skin….that seemed important…she was so different from him…but she was always there for him….

Just the way her mother was.

And he hates himself for it. He should not need anyone else. He hasn't needed anyone else ever in his life…and he never should have even opened himself up to the idea that he would ever need anyone other than himself. Daughter was there. She was there and she was asking about him, his health, and she was concerned. There's a bottle of rice wine in his inner suit pocket. It weighs him down. He wants to get rid of it.

But he doesn't.

He just leans down more onto Daughter.

"….if you want. I hear that chicken soup is good for when you're sick. We don't have cans of chicken soup but we have chicken flavored instant noodles and that might be the same thing. I don't know…but I do know how to make instant noodles. Minegishi taught me. Well they didn't teach me, I just watched them make instant noodles, and I don't know why they don't just ask the awakened to bring regular soup. They just said that they liked the instant kind. I don't know. We still have some if you want them." Said Daughter

"No. Instant ramen is vile." Said Suzuki. That was the first coherent thought in his mind. Vile. He'd always preferred real ramen. He was not so time poor that he couldn't have a bowl of actual ramen. He wondered why Daughter would even bother with something like that, cheap instant noodles, when there was a whole world of real soup out there worthy of her.

Worthy-ish.

Because nothing would ever be worthy of her. He was struck with that feeling. Nothing in this world would ever be worthy of his Daughter, of Masami's Daughter, of Daughter. She didn't just dress like royalty, she was royalty, and nothing would ever have been worthy of her. It's a mad thought, it's a drunk thought, but it's one that sticks to his mind. He cared for her so much. He reached down and twisted his fingers in her hair. She had such sort hair, such beautiful hair, like her mother did. Well her hair was nothing like Masami's but it was still nice. That was the word. Nice.

"Um….ok. We have tea…I can make you some of that. Or maybe I can make you coffee…I mean I can figure it out. Coffee is like tea…I think. I don't know. I just know that when someone is sick that they need a lot to drink…I think…." Said Daughter. He leaned a little more of his weight on her. She supported him with her powers. He hated himself for being so weak. He hated himself for showing her his weakness. That must have been why Masami had left…because she had seen him at his weakest….

Daughter wasn't even nine years old, yet, and she had nowhere else to go even if she were to get the idea in her head to leave.

"Daughter…the last thing that I need is another drink…." Said Suzuki. He tried to take a step forward. He stumbled a little as he left the genkan. She was still supporting him. She was seeing him at his weakest, at his most pathetic, and he knew that he would be kicking himself over this later…but this was now. This was now and it was Valentine's Day and, it pained him to admit it, it was not an easy day.

He wondered where Masami was.

He wondered where Masami had gone to. He wondered what she was doing. It was late, it was even later in Japan, and she was probably asleep…alone. She must have been alone. He didn't think that he could have handled it if she were with someone else. No…of course she wasn't. He had nothing to base this off of but gut feelings…she must have been alone…yes. She had maybe fallen asleep in front of the television while one of her historical dramas played….

He took another step forward.

"Do you want to go to bed? If you don't want to drink something then maybe you should lay in bed…and then I'll call Fukuda and-" said Daughter

"Take me to bed…but don't call Fukuda." Said Suzuki

"Why? He makes us all better. That's his job. I mean I would feel bad waking him up in the middle of the night but I don't want you to be sick, dad, I don't want anything to happen to you." Said Daughter. She was supporting him as he walked towards his room…the room he was sleeping in. He passed by the children's room. Son was asleep. He could feel his passive aura. Son shone so brightly….so very brightly….

"Daughter….I don't need Fukuda. I don't need anyone." Said Suzuki as he was led to the room he slept in. He opened the door with his powers. There was too much behind it and the door would have broken off of it's hinges had Daughter not been there. She caught it with her powers while she was supporting him….she was so talented. Splitting her focus like that. His Daughter was so talented….

"Everyone needs someone dad. I mean that's how I feel. Like how Sho and I need each other…and you. We both need you." Said Daughter as she walked Suzuki over to the bed. He let his suitcoat hit the ground. Daughter pulled the covers back for him with her powers. She was so good at fine movements…he remembered how they had played when she was a child. When she was two and they played that came with the balls…and she had been amused…or when they had first started playing Chinese Checkers….a game of skill, strategy, and picking up marbles with her powers while engaging in games of skill and strategy.

"You and your bother are children." Said Suzuki as he was tucked in. Daughter stood at the side of the bed. She had his suit coat in one hand. Something bulged from her nightdress pocket.

"We are….and we need you. You're our dad and…and we need you….and we don't know what we would do without you." Said Daughter. Suzuki frowned. He let himself frown. That was…she thought that he would betray her like that? Her and Son? No. They were his children, his people, and he would never betray them like that. He would never leave them….or cast them aside. Not unless they betrayed him first…and that was something that he could confidently say would never happen.

They were his.

"I will never leave you. You know that, Daughter, and I don't ever want you to say things like that ever again." said Suzuki. She held his suit coat in her hands. She played with it, she fidgeted with it, and she cast her eyes away from his. He didn't like that. She was pulling her aura away from his. He didn't like that.

He picked her up with his powers and put her on the other side of the bed.

The bottle clattered against the ground as she dropped his suit coat. She almost hit the ground, too, as her powers lashed out in surprise. He maybe have dropped her a little too hard on the other side of the bed. It didn't matter, this mattress was soft, and she would be fine. She was always fine. Children were resilient.

"Please don't be mad at me….I just meant that I didn't want you to get sick like…like….I just don't want you to get sick. I want you to always be here. I'm just…worried about you. I'm sorry. I can go way if you want me to." Said Daughter

"I'm not angry with you. I don't know why you would get that idea." Said Suzuki. He rolled onto his side so he was facing Daughter. She was on her side, too, and she was facing him. Her hand was over her pocket. Her eyes still could not meet his. She looked so pale under the harsh lights of his bedroom. He reached over with his powers and turned them off.

Thank God he didn't blow the power to the house.

The lights flickered and, eventually, went off. He maybe shouldn't have been using his powers when he was in this state. He maybe shouldn't have even gotten himself in this state to begin with. He had set such a bad example for her. This was not what she needed. This was not something that she needed to see. Her father in this state. What did she even think of him? Did she think that it was alright to get herself into this state? Would she, when she got older, get herself into this state? Would she allow whatever man she chose as her most perfect person to get himself into this state? He didn't even know. He prayed that she didn't.

She was much too good for this.

Her control was….it was not Son's but she was quite a bit more powerful than Son…and she had some decent control for a child her age. She had more than decent control. He could see her aura, he could see how distressed she was, but this only manifested in the swaying of her hair. He could see it in the light cast by the streetlights outside. The way her hair moved. As if she were underwater. He could feel her aura against his, pressing against his, and she was distressed. She was so distressed…..and he didn't like it. She shouldn't have felt like that. She should have exorcised those emotions. She would end up being ruled by them…as he was….she would end up in the same predicament that he found himself in now…and he could not have that.

"You threw me onto the bed. You only throw me and Sho when you're mad at us." Said Daughter

"I hardly ever throw you. You hardly ever upset me." Said Suzuki. Daughter could be annoying, sometimes, like when she sought him out when he hadn't wanted it. When he had wanted to be alone. When she had lost control of her powers…and of Son. When he came home to find the house in shambles, he didn't do well in messy and chaotic spaces, and Son acting like a little brat. He didn't much like those times….

"But you do throw Sho….kind of a lot." Said Daughter

"He's an annoying little brat sometimes." Said Suzuki. Daughter so rarely angered him but Son…Son was sent to try him. Son was loud…annoyingly loud…and he never listened. He had his moments. Moments when he was pleasant. Moments when he was downright impressive. Moments where Suzuki was proud of him…but those moments were outnumbered by the times his son drove him crazy. Those were the times when he could do nothing but throw his Son across the room or slam him into a wall or just smack him…and Son was such a trial…and he angered him so much….and so did Daughter, on occasion….

Though she so rarely truly angered him.

"Oh…ok. That's….ok. I guess." Said Daughter.

"You, however, are not and I did not set out to throw you. I just wanted to place you here beside me." Said Suzuki

"Why?" asked Daughter

"Why not?" asked Suzuki. It wasn't as though this wasn't a part of their nighttime ritual, sometimes. They watched television together. Sometimes in the living room and sometimes in his bedroom. His bedroom was easier. When she fell asleep in his bed he didn't have to pick her up and put her in her bed. He didn't have to risk waking her up…and Son up…and then risk the children both being fully awake and keeping him awake. No, this was just easier.

And it was nice waking up to the other side of the bed being warm, for once.

"Oh….I guess that…there's no reason for me not to be here. It's just that when we hang out like this we usually watch TV." Said Daughter

"That's true." Said Suzuki. They usually watched something that he enjoyed. Documentaries, usually, or kendo when it was on and they managed to catch it. He wondered what was on now. Something that she enjoyed? Something animated with music and royalty and romantic subplots that were so paint by numbers that he could tell the outcome before the first song even ended….but that she also liked. He didn't understand her choice in shows but then again he hadn't been able to understand Masami's either…

"So…do you want to watch TV? Some of their stuff is pretty cool. Like, today, me and Sho were watching TV after Minegishi left and we saw this thing that looked like kendo but isn't kendo. I think that it was called-" said Daughter

"Kumdo. That's what they did to kendo when we brought it here." Said Suzuki. They had seen at least one documentary about the Japanese conquest of Korea…and he wondered how much she remembered. How much she had been paying attention. It hurts, a bit, that she might not have been…it hurts and it tastes…bitter…knowing that it hurts. Acknowledged that he felt it…acknowledging it…it tasted bitter.

"Yes, that's what it was called. It was mostly like kendo but the swords were different and the uniform was different and also the flags were blue." Said Daughter

"I have no idea why they had to change it. It's practically still the same. I can't stand superfluous changes." Said Suzuki

"Maybe they just wanted it to be more Korean. You know, like how when we were in American and you said that the sushi was vile and that deep frying sushi rolls and putting mayonnaise on them should have been considered a crime or at least an aberration?" said Daughter

"Yes, I did say that, I remember." Said Suzuki

"Well I think that it's the same way." said Daughter. He laughed when she said 'aberration'. Was she trying to imitate him with that tone? She was so…so….so…

"Say 'aberration' again." said Suzuki after a moment. He could see her puzzled expression reflected in her aura. He didn't blame her. It wasn't often that he treated her like a little parrot. Only when he had her practice whatever language he had put her to working on. What was it now? Korean? He was not going to drill her on Korean. His own Korean wasn't even that good….

"Aberration." Said Daughter. Suzuki shook his head and smiled. The bed shook with him. She was so…adorable. That was the word for her. Adorable.

"And you're right to quote me. Sushi was not meant to be eaten deep friend and covered in mayonnaise just as kendo was not meant to be played with blue flags." Said Suzuki

"The way that they use blue instead of red…it's important?" asked Daughter

"Yes, the most important. There is a greater contrast when you see red. It draws the eye. Also red is more negative a color, it has more negative psychological connections, and losing a Nippon is a very negative experience. One of the worst of my life." Said Suzuki

"You? You lost a Nippon?" asked Daughter incredulously. He didn't blame her for the display of emotion. It was something that was hard to believe. He had been a kendo prodigy. Well he had been a prodigy at anything and everything he had put his mind to. Good grades, awards, athletics, everything. Everything in this world had come as easy to him as breathing.

He wondered if that was her experience as well.

He wondered if she would be a world class kendo…no, not kendo. She was female. Naginata. She would be world class. He would make sure of it…though he so wished that he could have sparred with her…and he hadn't known that he wanted this until now. Sparring with her. He hadn't been in the ring since high school. It had bored him, mostly, because it had always been so easy for him. He hadn't even had to use his powers. Everything had been so boring back then…and that was why he lost it, maybe, when he lost that point…

His form had been perfect.

"Apparently my form was wrong." Said Suzuki

"You didn't have both feet on the ground?" asked Daughter. He would have been angry at her, at anyone, for questioning him like that. For thinking that he would have overlocked such a basic rule…but he's mostly just impressed with her. She had managed to remember some of the rules…which was more than Son ever did. Son considered kendo to be boring….

Daughter had better taste than Son.

"I did…but three referees thought that I didn't. No matter, no matter. That was decades ago. Decades before you were born. You won't have those sorts of problems." Said Suzuki. The thought, the memory, is bitter. He doesn't want to think about it, the person he had been, and the person that he was now. Right now, not in general. In general he had better control than this. Better control over himself and better control over his powers. Not now. Now he had gotten himself into this state…like a kid or something. Like he had when he was younger…and he was not that person anymore. He was not supposed to be that person anymore.

"You want me to learn Kendo?" asked Daughter. Suzuki was grateful to her for the topic change. Kendo…he liked kendo. He liked kendo and he liked thinking about the future so, of course, he would have liked to talk about the future and kendo. She always knew just what to say.

"No, of course not. You're female. You'll do naginata." Said Suzuki. She would be good, more than good, she would be world class. Because she was his Daughter…and because he would one day rule the whole world. Even if she wasn't any good, a bitter thought, he would be the one to decide what it was that counted as world class. It would be his world after all.

"Why? Why can't girls do kendo?" asked Daughter

"Because they don't. A naginata is a woman's weapon and a shinai is a man's weapon." Said Suzuki

"Oh…it's one of those things." Said Daughter. He thought that he detected a note of bitterness to her voice. That didn't fit her at all…so maybe he was mistaken. He wasn't good with tones at the bets of times and especially not now when he was in this state.

"What sorts of things?" asked Suzuki. He so hated it when she was vague like this. That was just how woman were, maybe, or maybe she just got it from her mother. Masami had been a fan of being vague. Expecting him to know what she meant when she never said what she meant. He wished that Daughter hadn't taken that, inherited that, from her mother.

"One of those things that boys can do but girls can't. I just…it feels like there's so much that I can't do because I'm a girl." Said Daughter. Suzuki wondered what she was complaining about. There were plenty of things that she could do as a girl that a boy couldn't do. Having long hair, her like hers, seemed nice. She did enjoy brushing it. She also had more pageantry to what she sore. She was always in those ball gowns of hers. She also had the advantage when it came to human reproduction. She would have no trouble finding a partner. There were more than ten male espers to every female one. Plus she had the factory for making more people within herself. She would always know for sure that her children were hers. Though, maybe, that was not on her mind right at that moment. She wasn't even nine years old yet. He wondered if she had started to notice the opposite sex romantically. Minegishi had been a common conversation subject for her…though he had no idea what Minegishi even was…though he was just about drunk enough to ask…but his phone was in his coat pocket and he was feeling unusually lazy. He didn't much want to get up. The bed was so nice….

"Like what? What do you think that you're missing out on?" asked Suzuki. He wondered what she wanted that she didn't have. He didn't think that her life was so different from her brother's. There were some things that boys could do that girls could not…but they had their own versions of things. Like kendo and naginata and other things, too. Women, no matter what age, were a mystery to him.

"I can't go in the boy's bathroom. Sho says that it's cool in there." said Daughter

"It isn't, your brother is lying to you. All public bathrooms are disgusting." Said Suzuki wrinkling his nose. He didn't blame her, though, because he had felt the same way about the girl's bathroom. They spent so much time in there and always went in groups…so he had figured that there must have been something interesting in there. Something that the boy's bathroom didn't have. Aside from the sanitary napkin dispenser there was nothing in there that the boy's room hadn't had. He had been so juvenile back then…well he had been a child….

"Oh….ok. Um…girls can't have as much fun as boys…that's another thing that bothers me. I have to watch Sho because I'm the big sister….and I have to learn how to take care of Sho because I'm going to be someone's mom some day….but sometimes I just….it feels like I'm not allowed to have fun because I have to take care of Sho." said Daughter. Suzuki didn't get it. She had fun all the time. Her days were filled with toys and game and television and trips to places like amusement parks….she had plenty of fun. if she wanted to know about the daily grind then she could have spent a day in his shoes dealing with all of the stupidity around him….

"We all have our jobs to do. You take care of your brother, and eventually your own household, but you'll never have to do what he's going to have to do…or what I do. It may seem hard now but it's a lot easier than inheriting the world…believe me." Said Suzuki. It wasn't so hard, caring for the children, at least it wasn't hard when you knew what you were doing. Masami had known what she was doing….and Daughter knew what she was doing….those were female skills. The things that they were good at. He envied her, somewhat, because it was….as long as he was in this state then he could admit that caring for the children was difficult.

They could be so maddening sometimes.

The children fought. The children made messes. The children did things that were downright bizarre. Masami had been the master of caring for them….because she was their mother….but she was gone. She was gone, now, and he was the only one there…and he was doing his best. Even if he had no idea how to get the children to calm down. How to get them to listen to him. Even when he hit them….Son….it never worked. Son was still Son…

Daughter was good at caring for him. He listened to Daughter.

"Ok…." Said Daughter

"Good. You understand." Said Suzuki. He loved that about her, how understanding she was, and how she always listened to him. He reached over and pulled her close. He didn't need her, no, he just…this was…pleasant. This was pleasant. This was pleasant because she was warm.

"I understand….that because I'm not a boy I won't…I won't be able to do stuff like do kendo with you…or inherit the world…and I have to take care of Sho forever." Said Daughter

"No, of course you won't have to take care of your brother forever. He'll become a man and he'll meet his most perfect person and-" said Suzuki

"Most perfect person?" said Daughter. He patted her on the head, letting his hand linger in her hair at the end. She really had such beautiful hair. So perfect. She was just so perfect sometimes. She was going to make someone very happy someday.

"Yes. One day he'll meet a woman and she'll be perfect just like you'll meet a man and he'll be perfect. Perfect for you. The person who you see as being the most perfect in the world…and then you'll care for him and you're family…when you're an adult. In ten or so years." Said Suzuki

"When I'm eighteen? That's when I have to get married?" asked Daughter. That seemed like a good age…but he did not care when she married. Eighteen, nineteen, seventeen, sixteen, he didn't care. He just wanted to secure the next generation. He wondered what sort of children she would have. Smaller versions of herself. He would enjoy her children. Son's….son's children would be…hopefully they would take after their mother. Whoever she would be.

"Whenever, I don't care. I just want you to be happy." Said Suzuki. She would be happy…she would be. Masami had been happy…maybe. Well obviously not. Obviously she had been unhappy about something and then, instead of telling him what she needed, ran away from home….but Daughter was not going to do that. She would never leave him. She would never….he pulled her closer as if she were going to get up and bolt…

"Dad, you're going to break your gift." Said Daughter. She pushed his hand away and reached into her pocket. He watched her as best as he could. A gift? Right. It was a holiday. Valentine's Day.

"You keep it." Said Suzuki. He didn't care what she had gotten him. He didn't want it. He didn't need anything for Valentine 's Day. He didn't even want to know what she had gotten him. He knew what she had gotten him. She got him the same thing every year. She got him the same thing her mother had gotten him. Bitter chocolate.

"But I got this for you." Said Daughter. Suzuki wanted, then, to push her out of the bed because he had just told her…but then he would wake up in the morning to an empty and cold bed…and he didn't much want that. He didn't much want that again…not when he was in this state, anyway.

"Daughter. Just….leave it on the nightstand." Said Suzuki. He'd just leave it in her room later. He didn't much want her gift, even the knowledge that she had gotten him something….he didn't want that. He didn't but…but he wanted her.

The thought is bitter.

The thought is as bitter as the chocolate he knows that she got him. He needs her. He's not supposed to need other people. He's a whole and complete person on his own. He was a whole and complete person on his own…and then he met Masami and everything went pear shaped…but he wanted it to go pear shaped. He wanted…he wanted her more than anything else in the world…and he still did….but she was gone…

And all he had now were the children. Daughter. All he had now was Daughter…and he needed her….

It was bitter….bitter as Valentine's Day chocolate.