It was a natural impulse.

The urge to be near an adult female human. He was an adult male human and she was an adult female human. Therefore the impulse he had, to be near her, had been natural. He had controlled it, of course, because he was not an adolescent but it had been there. For the first time since Masami left it had been there. Intruding upon his thoughts. Intruding upon the placid calmness of his aura.

"I'm sure that, now, the government will stop looking into your business, Suzuki-san."

He didn't know her name. Well he did know her name, it was Pang Sujin, but he was not going to make it known that he knew her name. He had no reason to know her name. He had no reason to go looking up her name. He had no reason to even care that she had a name. The Awakened had names but he never expressed any interest in that…because their names didn't matter….just like her name did not matter. It didn't. She wasn't an Awakened, or a Scar, she was just….some people did other things besides wait on him hand and foot or help him take over the world. She was one of the people who helped him launder money. Some business of his in Korea, legitimate business of his, was actually making money…and that caused a domino effect that he didn't totally understand, but would not ever reveal that he didn't understand, and that required certain things to be smoothed over. Which she did.

He liked an intelligent woman.

"If given a freer hand I could talk to…."

He was fading in and out of everything she said. She was saying words, Japanese words, and her Japanese was perfect….another plus in his book…and her hair was light, dyed but he didn't care, and her hair was long too….and he was staring. He was staring. He looked away. What she was saying was not so captivating. He didn't even need to be informed of what, exactly, was happening. He trusted his people and he trusted that his people could then trust their people. He didn't personally oversee every single aspect of his empire both financial and world domination…and really he had other things that he should have been doing….and he needed to attend to those things….

"…which would make people much less suspicious…"

He was a very busy man. His days were long and tiresome. He had children to go home to…and they were very tiresome too. At some point they had acquired toy guns, which he had never wanted them to have since a gun was a coward's weapon, and Son had taken to shooting at his sister…and Daughter refused to defend herself….the opposite sex was so strange…and tiresome. Daughter was tiresome in her own ways. Everything was tiresome. His days were already ten to sixteen hours long….and he had business to attend to….

"…..of course there is always risk in…."

Maybe he needed to start recording what happened in his office. Every word this woman was saying went in one ear and out the other. He was tired, he decided, much too tired. He had been up half the night with Daughter watching kendo and naginata highlights, she really was taken with the sport, and that had been a miscalculation since no amount of tea seemed to be able to perk him back up. He was just tired. That was why he was fading in and out. That was why, when his eyes found themselves looking up from the blank screen of his laptop and onto her face….and they occasionally tried to dip lower…which was just not done. He was a grown man, forty one, and he did not just stare at members of the opposite sex like that. He hadn't done that in ages, not since middle school, and even then he hadn't set out to do it. He was older now, a lot less….he didn't even have a non-crass word for what he had been as an adolescent, and he had no need to stare at a woman. Not a woman on the street and certainly not one that he was expected to work with.

It was just crass.

"….good idea? Suzuki-san?"

He blinked. His aura flared a little, just a little, but enough to make him angry with himself. He wondered if she had sensed that. She didn't have much power of her own, her primary skill was hyper cognition according to her file…that he had been skimming through for legitimate work reasons, and she had some technopathic abilities. Nothing close to what a certain technopath in the second division could do but a very rare skill. She was a rarity in and of herself, a female esper, and that…that was why he was staring. He so rarely saw female espers…aside from his Daughter….but Daughter was Daughter and a child and he did not look at his Daughter in this way…

He should not have been looking at any woman in any way.

"Yes, yes, that's fine. Do all of that." Said Suzuki with a dismissive wave of his hand. She bowed and left. He was glad for it. He had been staring. He had been staring and he…he could not begin to understand what was wrong with him. He didn't usually look at women….but then again he didn't usually talk to women. They were around him when he was out in the world but he was not one of his children, he did not linger out in the world, and he did not have the time or the inclination to stare at them…and it was not socially appropriate.

Creepy.

That was the word that had been applied to him so many times in his youth….and now his mind had decided to betray him and go over all of his romantic and sexual failings. Not that he had a lot of them. Not that he still cared about the time he got rejected in the sixth grade…because he had been creepy….which was about every single pre late middle school rejection he had ever gotten. He had a habit, back when he was young, of staring. That and, well, his voice had always been odd. Even before he learned to keep complete control over his emotions he had always had trouble with tones. His own and other people's. The way he spoke had been creepy. The things he spoke about had been creepy too. He had always been interested in different things than his peers, from what he could remember, like the period in his early childhood when he had been obsessed with the validity of giant fighting robots….they were neat and all but how did they WORK? Then when he had gotten older and spent a significantly longer period of his life obsessed with the Galaxy Express and it's related works…and it was a fascinating story with a well-built universe and Daughter agreed with him…and that meant something because his other child did not agree with him…so it felt like it meant something…

He needed to get home to his children.

They were tiresome but at least they left him with no headspace left to mull over his lifetime's romantic and sexual failings. Not that he cared for either anymore. The last woman he would ever allow himself to care for romantically is, was, and forever would be Masami. He had left himself open and vulnerable and she had betrayed him. That was after putting on an unnecessarily lavish party to promise, in front of everyone, that she would never leave or betray him. She even left after making a human being with him. She had just…left. Gone. Into thin air without even so much as an explanation. She hadn't even told the children…and she loved the children…or at least she said that she had loved them…and him…and he had trusted her…and she had gone and betrayed him like his trust was worth nothing.

If she, the most perfect woman in the world, could betray him then anyone could.

And he could not have that. That was why he could allow himself to even think of a woman, any woman, in any capacity other than as someone who he could use…for work purpose…and not for…and now he was little better than an adolescent. He was not the sort of man who bent a woman over his desk and…because it was just not done. It was clichéd, for one thing, and also far too crass for his tastes. Besides, sex was not a need. It was an impulse but it was not a need. Food was a need. Water was a need. Shelter was a need.

Sex was not a need.

And neither was companionship. People were social creatures but he was not like anyone else in the world…well maybe Daughter….but that was different. Besides if he felt like being social that was what Daughter was for. She was a pleasant person to be around. She liked all of the same things he liked, she also had her own things she liked and some of it was enjoyable, and also when he was tired he could just send her away. Yes, Daughter was pleasant. She was a very pleasant child. He really should have gotten home to her.

Companionship was not a need.

He didn't need companionship. That was why he didn't seek out anyone but his own child. That wasn't even about companionship. That was just parenting. Parenting involved spending time with his children and that was what he was going home to do. He was certainly not going home because he had the urge to seek out Pang-san and ask her, again, some question about her plan or her position or…or anything like that. There was nothing else to talk to her about. He was not going to ask her about her kumdo achievements, it was an inferior version of kendo anyway, and he was not going to ask her about the pendant she had been wearing. He didn't want to know what sort of mech that it was…and he didn't want to know which franchise it was from…or why she felt comfortable displaying her love for a piece of media on herself even though she was an adult…or if she had always been so confident that she would cast aside all care for the judgement of others…or-or-or anything else that he had been able to gather from either reading her file or staring at her for so long his eyes had dried out….

He needed to go home.

Too much time around other adults. That was it. When it had been him and the children, when he had been able to leave work for a bit and see his family, he had never been like this. Masami had been around but he had never stared at her…at least not if they'd had sex recently…and that was it. It had been a while. That was all. It had been a while and that part of his brain, the primitive part that only cared about passing his genes down, was trying to take control of his thought process. That was all. She was female and he was male. That was all that it was.

It had nothing to do with the fact that she had dyed her hair brown.

Really, it didn't. Nope. Not at all. Nothing to do with any aspect of her physical appearance whatsoever.

It had nothing to do with the fact that her fingernails were bright red…the same as Masami's had been. Nothing had anything to do with Masami. She was gone. She could have been dead for all he cared…the thought of her dead still pains him…and he hates himself for being weak like that. She had betrayed him. He should not have cared. In fact he should have been so uncaring that he had replaced her…but he doesn't want to…because of the risk of betrayal. That and the fact that he was so busy. Much too busy for another wife. Much, much, much too busy. Plus if he had another wife he would have to have another child and then that child might not get along with his children…Son…and if he took another wife then she might not have gotten along with his children….Son. Mostly Son.

Daughter got along with everyone.

Even Minegishi. Apparently, much to Son's chagrin, Minegishi and Daughter got on like a house fire…which lent credence to his theory as to Minegishi being female….but he was not going to ask. Either Minegishi was female and he had nothing to gain from that fact, besides the fact that he knew another female esper, or Minegishi was male and then he probably ended up in another fight…which he would win of course…be he did not need to sow dissent in the ranks. He had checked the files but under sex someone had written 'none of your business' and he knew that he had to get that sorted but he had other things to deal with.

Like the fact that his mind was still going over his numerous romantic and sexual failures.

Of course now he was simply circling the mystery of what had gone wrong with Masami. This just furthered his feelings that, yes, he did not need another wife. He couldn't even understand the one he had…and was technically still married to….and he had messed up with her…which meant that he would mess up with another woman. Even one who enjoyed science fiction, had a degree of hyper cognition comparable to his own, had been a kumdo champion from middle school to university, and openly enjoyed science fiction. He did not understand women and if he found another one he would just end up miserable.

It was all sexual, anyway.

Being weak enough to revert back to adolescence was preferable to being weak enough to needing someone's companionship. Yes, that was something he could deal with more easily. It made more sense. Usually it had been four to six weeks, his old dry spells back when he had been away from Masami, but now it was going on two years. Yes, instead of spending his ride home mentally torturing himself over his lifelong inability to understand women and their ways his time was better spent figuring out how to solve this problem.

Not like that.

He hated how he lost control during the times, the rare times, when he had seen no other way out than to debauch himself. Adolescence had been…embarrassing….to say that least. It was easier to keep control when he had a partner. Someone to focus on. Someone to make him think about himself…he was always self-conscious during…and someone to keep him grounded. So the house didn't shake. So everything that wasn't bolted down didn't end up on the ceiling. So the power to the house didn't blow. There was a reason he had sworn off all of that….and he was not looking forward to the children's teenage years. Nope. Not at all. He made a vow then and there to never even comment on what he heard, and probably would feel too considering how good his range was, when Son hit that age. Nope. There was nothing to be gained for either of them by pointing out that which was better off not noticed. Of course he knew that the children wouldn't extend him the same courtesy, being children and all, which was why he had always either sent them outside or distracted them in some way when he and Masami had needed to be intimate.

Of course Daughter had always asked what it was that she had felt.

Her range was comparable to his back then and it had only gotten larger. Son's too, though he came nowhere close to being as sensitive as his sister was. There was no privacy when one had children…Masami had complained about that, before, and now he saw what she meant. As much as he loved Daughter's company, and tolerated Son's, sometimes he did want and need to be alone. Of course they never left him alone. They were children and could not understand that they had to give him space. That was a case for finding them a new mother. They could bother someone else for once. Someone else would be there to take care of them.

They may have been children but they were not babies.

His mind, the part of him that was telling him to find a mate and reproduce, was trying to convince his rational mind that he needed a partner. Well he did not. His children could take care of themselves….well Daughter could take care of them. She was smart like that. She was smart and capable for a child and he was so looking forward to her growing up. She would be brilliant when she grew up. She would be good company when she grew up. She was already good company now so when she grew up then she would be even better company. The best company that he could have asked for.

Who needed a wife when he had a Daughter?

For companionship. Companionship. Something he did not need but still enjoyed from time to time but knew that he was not supposed to indulge in, like warm sake, or his more violent impulses. Companionship and only companionship. That was all. She had no genetic relation to him but she was a child. He was many things, many things that society had deemed wrong, but he was not attracted to someone as young as her. Also that was his Daughter…not by blood but he was not going to start an incest precedent. Also she would find the prospect psychologically distressing because as far as she knew he was her blood parent. No, she was for companionship and nothing more and when she grew up she would just be a woman who was genetically unrelated to him that spent all of her time with him and-

And he needed either a drink, a woman, or both because he was starting to worry himself with where his mind was going…and that seldom happened.

Since the only way to stop indulging in these trains of thought was to give in to them, the thought made his skin crawl with revulsion, he had might as well go home and rip that Band-Aid off as quickly and cleanly as possible. It was late, but not as late as he usually came home, so he might have been able to tell the children to find fun somewhere….curse this cold…nothing was opened when it was this cold out…first chance he got he was dumping them at a Disney Land….or putting them on a plane….

But there was no need to send them on a plane.

Because the house was devoid of children. It was upside-down and inside out, he would deal with that later, but the children were not inside. They were around, of course, but not in the house. No…he followed their auras….they were in the garden….and he could see the garden as he made his way through the house…

Had that wall always been there?

Upon further inspection it isn't a wall but a series of vines. Plants. Good, Minegishi was paying off. The only thing more terrifying than his Daughter's powers going out of control was the thought of powers that his Daughter had that he did not going out of control…but that was ok. Her control seemed good. Good enough to build a fort, anyway. A rather impressive fort…and he thanked God that this house was in the middle of nowhere where there was no one to question the two leveled plant fort that the children had built…

There were windows, too, and murder holes judging by the amount of darts that littered the lawn. The snow was gone, mostly, and the children didn't seem bothered by the cold in the least bit. No, they seemed fine from what he could hear. They were even laughing…not quarreling….which was good. It meant that they were much less tiresome now. That was always good. Maybe he could get some peace and privacy for once in his life.

"Dad! You can't come in! It's a secret club!" shouted Son as he stuck his head out of one of the windows. There was some light coming from the house…and some extension cords coming from the house…and he knew that he was supposed to tell them that they were going to burn the house down but he was not going to rain on their parade.

Even if Son had said that he was not invited.

Son and Daughter were the children, not him, and he was not going to get upset about not being allowed into a fort that he couldn't even physically fit into…probably. He was not ten years old anymore. Besides, he had started his own…and he was going to get off of that juvenile train of thought right then and there. Honestly. He was a grown man.

"Sho, dad can come in if he wants to. It's not a secret club. Everyone can join." Said Daughter. Well now he felt better….and he had no idea why he felt better. He did not care one iota if his children included him or not. In fact he preferred to be left alone. He was just happy that Daughter showed him such loyalty. He hoped that her loyalty carried over into her adult life. She was a brilliant little girl and an asset.

"If everyone can join then what's the point of having a club?" asked Son

"Um….good times?" said Daughter. He would have to talk to her, again, about ending her statements as if they were questions. It was unbecoming of his child. Masami would have taught her that…if he had been around…and now his mind had once again decoded to go over all of his sexual and romantic failures. Great.

What'd he end up doing with that bottle of rice wine?

"We can have those in here on our own. Besides, I already let you let Minegishi join. That's too many people in the club house. If They didn't fit then dad's not going to fit." Said Son

"Then I'll just make the room bigger." Said Daughter. He could see her aura travelling down the roots and vines that made up her fortress. He wondered how she had come up with this design, it seemed to be part European castle and part single family home. There were plenty of murder holes too…but that was Sons idea most likely. A gun was a coward's weapon but maybe the next compound he built needed murder holes in the walls…and secret passageways too….for important reasons that he would think up later. He had wanted to build secret passageways in the house in Japan but Masami had told him that he was being ridiculous. She wanted an actual house to live in, not one with secret passageways and tunnels and escape hatches…she had always been practical like that. He wondered if she would have been proud of what Daughter had built.

He wondered what she was doing now.

And he tried to force himself to stop wondering, to stop caring, because he had no reason to care about her like this. She was gone. She was gone and she was not coming back and he didn't need her. He didn't need her or any woman. He was fine on his own. His own mind was just a mess. Probably from the ten to sixteen hour days. Yes, that was it. He just needed to do what he needed to do to get back into the right state of mind.

"Daughter, there's no need to harm the integrity of that structure. I was just checking up on you two, that's all." said Suzuki

"Oh…ok. We're fine. We had pizza for dinner and we took a bath and now we're out here." Said Daughter. He nodded. Good effort. Worthy of Masami.

"I hate baths…"muttered Son. How that child could hate basic hygiene Suzuki would never know. Masami had always been good about getting him into the tub, though…..she had always been good at all of those parenting sorts of things…

"I know you do but I had to make you take one because your hair was all greasy and you were dirty from the dirt. Now come on, it's late and we should go to bed-" said Daughter

"Can we sleep out here?!" shouted Son. Suzuki didn't even have to think. He knew that Masami would not have approved but….but Masami was not there anymore. She had forfeited the right to disapprove when she left them.

"Yes, that's fine. Stay out here all night and don't come in until morning." Said Suzuki. Good. Some space. Finally.

"But what if we have to go to the bathroom?" asked Daughter

"We'll go in the yard like dogs." Said Son. Suzuki wondered, briefly, if the hospital had made a mistake…but of course they hadn't. That was, somehow, his and Masami's child. He was responsible for helping to create that little boy right there.

"Sho! That's disgusting! We're people and people don't do that." Said Daughter. Well at least one of his children had sense. So was that a point to nature…or nurture? He didn't know. He would puzzle it out later.

"I agree. You may come inside if you need to but whatever you do you are not to bother me. Not even if this house is on fire. Do you both understand?" asked Suzuki in his most serious voice…well what he assumed was his most serious voice. He wondered if he was being serious enough…or maybe too serious….he didn't know. He had trouble with tones. He didn't want to frighten them, they were insufferable when they were frightened, but he did want some time alone.

Which why were amenable to giving.

Which freed him up to spend his time giving into his most natural, and most hated, impulses.