Disclaimer: Some days you get the bear. Some days the bear gets you. Usually when the bear gets you, one way or another your days of getting the bear are pretty much over. Serves you right, bear-getter. I don't own any of these characters. Or any bears. I have a cat that I'm pretty sure hibernates. That probably doesn't count, though. Speaking of cats, blame Chris Dee for making it impossible for me to imagine Selina calling Batman anything other than 'jackass'.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Partners

Chapter 6

Saint Andrew was the patron saint of Scotland. The diagonal red cross on the British flag was the cross of Saint Andrew. And Catwoman apparently used it as the code for her and her partner-in-crime to switch opponents. These thoughts passed through Batman's mind as he ran across the rooftops. It gave him insight into her thinking, much as the fact that he called it 'castling' would have given her insight into his. "They're going to split up," he said quietly, knowing the comm system he'd activated would relay it to the speaker built into the ear of her cowl. "I'll follow whichever of them has the sculpture."

"Roger that," she said, her grimace nearly a match for his. Neither of them were happy with what had happened in the museum. She'd been ready for the aerial attack of the junior cat, and then her legs were taken out from under her. For his part, Batman was as angry at himself as he was at the thieves. It was exactly what he had warned Batgirl against, distract and surprise, and he'd allowed himself to be distracted and surprised. As they leaped over the alleyway, their targets briefly ducked behind a shot on the rooftop, when they emerged, both were holding identical bags. They fled in opposite directions. "Plan B?" she asked.

"You get the kid," he growled and took off after Catwoman. After a long chase across Gotham's rooftops, she stopped, set the bag down, and turned to face him. "That's going back to the museum," he graveled as he caught up with her.

"I didn't stop to talk about the sculpture, Batman." She placed her hands on her hips, the whip dangling to the ground from one hand.

"I don't care why you stopped, Catwoman," he said, teeth clenched.

"You used to."

"I did not. Whatever fantasy you've had about us, you can save it. You're both thieves, and I'm taking you down."

"Ah," she said softly, "I see." A smile spread across her face. She began to laugh. Batman risked a look behind him to determine that the kid wasn't coming up behind him and frowned. Her laughter only intensified. "This is about him, isn't it? You think...and you're jealous!" She enjoyed pushing his buttons, but this was too much. She hadn't even pushed these, Dick had.

He stood there for a moment, then growled and stalked around her, retrieving the bag. She didn't stop him, but when he started to walk away from her, the tough leather of her bullwhip coiled around his arms and chest.

"No," she said, "we're going to discuss this like rational adults."

"Like rational adults in costumes on the roof in the middle of the night, one of whom is tied up with a whip and holding a priceless work of art stolen by the other rational adult?"

"Exactly like that, and stop reaching for that batarang. Do you think I didn't know you'd be the one to follow me?"

A pause followed as he absorbed that. He dropped the bag and tapped the button on his wrist. "Batgirl, your target has the sculpture. Bring them both in."

She walked up behind him and said, "Ok, now that the ball's in the junior court," she grabbed his chin and turned his head to face her, "Talk to me!"

"I don't see that we have anything to talk about."

Catwoman pursed her lips, "You know, it's almost endearing in a sweet and stupid sort of way, but you haven't earned the right to be jealous when it comes to me."

"Your vanity is clouding your judgement. Whatever it is you think we have, this isn't about it."

She smiled. That was a double admission. First, that there was an issue here other than the stolen sculpture, and second, that there was an 'it' that this wasn't about. "Then what is it about?"

He glared at her. "You taking a boy and turning him into a criminal."

She glared back. "He was right, you know. You are a jackass."

He stared straight ahead, looking away from her, tightening the muscles in his chest and arms to try to loosen the coils of leather that pinned his arms.

She wanted to yell at him. 'He was a criminal when I found him! Instead of stealing cash from poor folks in dark alleys, he steals from people who have every cent insured, and no one gets hurt. I've done more for that boy than anyone since his parents, including you, though you did try.' She flicked her wrist and the coils of the bullwhip fell away. She began to walk away from him, ignoring the black bag and the plaster replica contained inside.

His hand clamped down on her shoulder, and she spun around, razor-sharp claws slashing through the kevlar and leaving four red parallel lines on his chest. Her foot shot out, catching him in the stomach, and she fled. He considered pursuing, but instead took a moment to check the bag, confirming that it was in fact a fake. "Batgirl," he said into his cowl's comm, "what is your status?"

There was a long pause, after which the response came, You are not going to believe this...

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"You get the kid," Batman had growled, and she set off after him. She followed him from rooftop to rooftop. She didn't have his skill when it came to unassisted leaps over the alleys, but her grapnel had longer range than his whip, and she was able to keep pace. She heard in her cowl's earpiece, Batgirl, your target has the sculpture. Bring them both in.

At which point he had come to the roof of the Andersen Hotel, overlooking Robinson Park. Which was a problem for him, as the only other roof close enough to get to, even by whip, was the one she was jumping across from. "Here kitty kitty," she said, smirking as she approached him warily.

He tried to think of what Selina would do in this situation. 'Stretch,' he thought wryly, 'Show off for the Bat. I dunno if I can pull that off, but we'll find out.' Facing away from her, he said in a low voice, "Most cats don't come when called," bending over and setting the bag gently down on the rooftop. He used a tai chi motion to move smoothly into a defensive stance, clenching muscles in his arms and chest for effect, "But in your case, I might make an exception."

'That is the best ass I've ever...WHAT ARE YOU DOING BABS?' she shouted in her mind. She was not going to be taken in by that. Batman had referred to this as one of Catwoman's tricks, and suggested her pupil might try it on her. She forced a sneer, saying, "Not bad. I've seen better."

"Maybe you have," he said, lips curling in a Cheshire grin that spoke to his disbelief, "but you did look."

Batgirl felt her cheeks growing hot. She reached inside her belt and threw a batarang at his head. He ducked and swung his arm forward, his whip coiling around her arm. He tugged on the handle of the whip, reeling her in. She used the momentum to run her shoulder into him, and they went down in a tangle of arms and legs. "Isn't it fun when my mom and your dad go out at night?" he joked, (taking an elbow in the back of the head for his trouble).

"Next time," she said, trying to pin his arm behind his back, "try having fun without stealing."

"You're just the cutest public service announcement I've ever met," he said, slipping his arm from her grip and pushing her off of him, turning and pouncing, pinning her on her back beneath him. "Be honest," he said in a breathy rasp, "this is more fun than the club scene."

If she were going to be honest, she might answer that the flushing in her cheeks wasn't entirely from exertion. Instead, she tried frantically to throw him off of her. She couldn't, and he kept her hands away from her belt. He smiled and made a growling noise. Her right hand grabbed something heavy and loose, and she swung, slamming the bag into the side of his head. There was a crashing sound of something breaking.

"Dammit!" he shouted, half-rolling half-falling off of her, clutching one hand to the cut on his scalp. Standing up, he looked shocked at what she had just hit him with. "You couldn't just punch me or something? Fucking hell..." he said, grabbing his whip and fleeing, heading back the way he'd came. Batgirl was too stunned to follow.

A priceless piece of world-famous art, and she'd just smashed it to bits by using it as a club. And, because things needed to be worse, she heard Batman's voice in her ear. Batgirl, what is your status?

'Oh shit. What do I say?' She stalled for time by saying, "You are not going to believe this..." She heard a grunt and said, "He dropped it. The sculpture. Onto the ground."

There was a long pause, after which he said, Can you get to the bag from your current position?

"I should be able to," she said, 'it being all of three feet away,' she mentally added. "Why? You think it can be repaired?"

I think you should get to the bag and look inside.

She scowled and fired off her grapnel upwards, letting the line fly for a few seconds before hitting the 'retract' button, letting him hear the puff of the gas propellant and the reeling of the line. She looked inside.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Selina arched an eyebrow as Dick arrived at the rooftop where they'd split up. It seemed like half his face was covered in blood, although she knew scalp wounds could look worse than they were. "You ok?"

"Only a flesh wound," he joked in a bad English accent, nodding. "I'm pretty sure she'll go on a second date."

She chuckled and nodded, "Batarang."

He laughed and shook his head, "No, with my own bag, actually."

Her eyes bulged in surprise, "She broke it?"

He nodded, "Smashed it into a million pieces. Tried to do the same to my head. That's still in just the one or two," he said, chuckling. "Why? I didn't have the real one."

Selina sighed and shook her head sadly...

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"Ok," Batgirl said, "I've got it. It's in a million pieces alright."

Take one of the small pieces in your hand and crumple it.

Barbara frowned. This was getting strange. She grabbed one of the small pieces and squeezed. It took little force to crumple the broken shard into powder. "Ok, I've got a handful of white dust. You want to tell me what this is about?"

"The statue was white marble. Marble doesn't crumble like that."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"I know it wasn't the real one," Selina said as she lifted the bag from inside the shed where they'd stashed it. "but she thought it was real. He's teaching her one hundred and thirty-seven was to incapacitated a man and how to fly across Gotham's rooftops, but he isn't teaching her things that matter, like appreciating great art."

"Yeah," Dick agreed as they took the pens, pads of paper and envelopes they'd left, scribbled short messages, placed them in the envelopes and jumped off the roof.

"She's cute, though," Selina said as they landed on the next roof.

"Oh yeah," he agreed. 'I need to see Barbara again,' he thought, asking, "Him?"

"Call it an acquired taste," she said, while thinking, 'I need to see Bruce again.' "You bent over like I told you to."

"Yeah," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?"

"To a point. I don't think she's got the stick lodged as firmly as he does."

"All the better for you to take it out..."

"Selina!" he said, blushing.

She laughed.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

They arrived to find two envelopes, one addressed to 'Jackass' and the other addressed to 'Jackass-in-training,' in different handwriting, both with a claw drawn in the upper left hand corners, "Do we really want to read these?" Barbara asked.

"Probably not," he answered, reaching for the one he imagined was his. He considered taking both of them and ripping them up, but he really did want to read his, and it would be hard to justify not letting her read hers if he did. He opened his and read:

Batman,

This wasn't a 'theme' crime. At least not in the sense that a statue of Bast would be. He's my partner, not my lover. If you feel the slightest bit of relief at this, you might start thinking about an aspect of our relationship other than thief/crimefighter.

It was signed in a flowing hand, 'Catwoman.' He stared hard at the paper, then crumpled it in his hands. He glanced over at Batgirl, who had opened her envelope, revealing another envelope inside. He was about to reach over and crumple that up, when he saw what was written on it:

If this is the Head Jackass opening his partner's mail, GIVE IT TO HER you pointed-eared hypocrite. (I know you read yours)

He looked away, pretending he hadn't read that, and said, "I've got to get back to the cave," and fired his grapnel, not waiting for an answer. 'I need to get my mind off of her. Maybe another date with that woman from the museum. Assuming she didn't feel blown off.' He tucked his legs and swung off of the rooftop.

Batgirl shook her head, thinking 'If he didn't want to know what it said, he shouldn't have read it.' She opened the second envelope and looked inside:

Batgirl,

Had a great time rolling around on the rooftop with you. I don't know about you, but I thought our date was a SMASHING success, even if you did CUT it a bit short. No HARD feelings, though. Let's meet again sometime, if you don't get too far BEHIND in your work. You're a fun girl. Don't let him turn you into a smaller, prettier version of himself.

Tiger (grrr!)

Barbara shook her head at the missive. "I can't believe he wrote 'grrr'," she said to herself. 'I need to call Dick. Work off some of this...yeah.'

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

All the points seem to be on the Cats' side of the board

but that is going to change when secrets are revealed

in Chapter 7