Chapter Twenty-Two
Let Me Heal You
Monalisa sat opposite Splinter as he lit some incense and candles to create a calming atmosphere. The old rat sat cross legged and observed the Lizard Lady as she knelt before him.
It saddened Splinter to see Mona how she was.
There were dark circles under her eyes due to lack of sleep and the nightmares that haunted her, her blue eyes were no longer sparkling with life whether she was amongst those she loved or in a fight against her enemies, but rather shining with overflowing tears.
"Master...father..." Mona whispered "What did you wish to speak of?"
"You, my child." Splinter responded "There is so much darkness within you, because of what your brother did."
Mona looked down, her face showing she was heartbroken, but also ashamed.
"We have spoken to you about how what happened was not your doing, you only tried to help Callum."
Tears erupted from Mona's eyes and they spilt again, dripping onto her lap, to which Splinter reached out and caught a few trying comfort her.
"My daughter..." Splinter said softly "The darkness in your soul, it is consuming you, you cannot let it take over, you cannot keep blaming yourself for something you did not see coming."
Mona swallowed hard yet said nothing as she continued to look at her hands that lay clenched in her lap and her tears continued to fall.
"Callum, or Diablo may have betrayed you, and he has hurt you within." Splinter said softly "But you must remember that it was his choice, you did not make him do what he did."
Mona swallowed again.
"Sensei..." her voice came out in a small croak "I know what I did, I just didn't want him to die."
"None of that." Splinter cut in.
"But still...I...I..." Mona stammered.
"But still nothing." Splinter spoke gently, his finger stroked Mona's cheek catching more tears that fell.
"Child." Splinter whispered "I know you are feeling pain, but you need to understand and let go of what is not your fault."
"But sensei." Mona said "I...I'm not sure."
"I understand my daughter." Splinter said "But you must be aware, that your sadness is affecting those around you, do you think of your mate? Your adopted brothers? Even your daughter and niece?"
That last part caused Mona to look up.
"Your darkness has affected you so much, you have become a shadow of your former self." Splinter explained, "As much as we understand the burden you carry, you must be vigilant of who may also be affected, your daughter believes you are a different person, and fears that you no longer love her, as does your niece."
Mona opened her mouth and closed it again like a fish, and Splinter continued to speak.
"I have seen a similar darkness in Leonardo, not just when he was jealous of Raphael having you as his mate, but also when he first defeated the Shredder, his different personality affected us all, and it came to a real head when he accidentally injured me in sparring."
As he spoke he placed a paw on his forehead.
"I remember it like yesterday." he sighed "It was one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life, and I had to send him away to find peace in Japan."
Mona looked scared as the old rat looked at her again.
"And I remember the same anger within you when you had your old life taken away, it seemed nothing could douse the fire."
Mona looked down again ashamed and the tears continued to fall.
"I never...I never..."
"Monalisa." Splinter spoke again "I understand everything." he then stood up and walked over to her then placed his paws on her shoulder.
"We can help you banish the darkness, but you must remember, this burden is not your fault, and the Mutopians are experienced in everything to protect their home, and Tyroth will do all he can."
"But this never should have happened!" Mona protested.
"Shhhh." Splinter placed a furry finger on Mona's lips.
"He is prepared for anything, and will do all he can." Splinter said "And you trust him, do you not?"
"I do..." Mona sobbed then the tears fell again to which Splinter gently pulled Mona to him and the Lizard Lady wrapped her arms around him before sobbing softly into his chest and the Rat held her close to him, stroking her hair and wiping her tears.
He remembered when he and his sons welcomed Mona into their home for the first time and he had brought Mona into his quarters to speak about offering her a home with him and the turtles and Mona had accepted without hesitation.
"Let us heal you Monalisa." Splinter whispered "You are not alone, and we will not let this darkness consume you, you will be okay."
Mona nodded as she continued to rest against Splinter's chest, her tears still falling.
Meanwhile, the turtles listened outside, trying to catch what was being said.
Raphael had his ear pressed against the door, eager to hear what was being said to his mate.
"I'd give anything to have my loving big sister back." Michelangelo whispered softly.
"Me too." Donatello agreed.
Leonardo said nothing as he listened.
"I just hope Mona is letting Sensei's words of wisdom sink in." he thought then looked at Raphael who was biting his lip.
He then heard Splinter start to get up and move towards the doors to which he signalled his brothers to get away and they quickly jumped back.
As soon as they did so, Splinter appeared followed by a more calmer yet ashamed Monalisa.
"My sons." the old at looked at the four turtles who stood to attention and bowed to him to which he bowed back.
"Your adopted sister, or in your case Raphael, your mate, wishes to say something to you."
he then stepped to the side and Mona stepped forward.
"My brothers..." she said bowing then looked at Raphael "Raph..."
The turtles stood before her ready to listen.
"I...I've had so much darkness within me, and even now I still do, but I...I...I never realised I was affecting you as well, I know I'm furious over Diablo's betrayal, and if I could go back in a machine I would, but I can't."
Michelangelo opened his mouth to say something but the other three turtles shot him a glare and shook their heads prompting him to keep quiet until Mona finished her speech.
"But I realise I've not been the person you know, I've turned into a nasty creature, all because I'm so upset and heartbroken over my brother's actions, and for that, I'm sorry, I want to expel this darkness within me, but I need your help, and I need to trust Tyroth and the other Mutopians that they can protect their home."
She paused and looked up at the turtles to which Raphael stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his mate.
"Babe." he said "We understand everything, we do!"
Leonardo then walked over and hugged her.
"You have deep spiritual agony hun." he said "And we will help you, you have our support."
"You do sis!" Donatello smiled walking over and joining in the hug "All of us are here to help."
"You betcha!" Michelangelo grinned also joining in "No-one puts baby in the corner!"
Mona felt the corners of her mouth form into a smile and she hugged her mate and adopted brother's tightly.
Splinter felt a tear form in his eye in happiness and wiped it away seeing his children forming a group hug.
After a while, the turtles released Mona and Raphael lifted his mate's chin with his finger.
"How you feeling babe?" he asked.
"A little better yes." Mona said softly "But there's something I must do."
"What's that?" asked Donatello.
"I wish to talk to the kids." Mona said "I have a lot of explaining to do."
"They're in the playroom." Michelangelo confirmed "You can go and see them there."
"Thanks Mikey." Mona said before walking to the playroom.
"Good luck babe." Raphael said softly.
Mona took a few deep breaths as she walked to the playroom and she peered inside to see both Pandora and Kemeko sitting on the floor with their teddies and dolls having a pretend Tea party.
Seeing the children playing together peacefully she smiled softly then gathering her courage she walked inside to see them.
"Hey girls." she said softly.
Even though she spoke in a light tone, both girls jumped a little.
"Mum!" Pandora sat up straight and Kemeko did the same.
"Hey baby." Mona said "Can I talk to you both for a second?"
The girls looked up from their toys and saw Mona sit opposite them.
"Girls." Mona said in a sad voice "I want to tell you something and I want you both to listen okay?"
Pandora and Kemeko nodded in silence.
"Okay." Mona said "I just want to tell you both, I'm so sorry for how I've been acting since we came home from Mutopia, you both understand how Uncle Callum, who now calls himself Diablo betrayed and hurt us in a terrible way."
Both girls nodded.
"He was bad!" Pandora said.
"He hurt you!" Kemeko commented.
Mona nodded.
"He did." she said "He hurt me, badly, so bad I've been so upset and angry, but my darkness has affected you both, and granddad Splinter, and your fathers, and Uncle Donnie and Mikey."
"Mummy?" Pandora asked.
Mona looked up.
"Are you still angry?" Pandora asked "Kemeko and I are sorry we upset you, we didn't mean to."
Mona sighed.
"I'm sorry girls." she said "No, you didn't upset me, I upset you, and I'm so sorry I did, as you both didn't deserve it."
"But mummy." Pandora said "Kemeko and I were noisy, we shouldn't have been."
"No girls." Mona said "You were having fun, I was upset because of my feelings, and I took it out on you both, and I'm so sorry, I never wanted to make you feel bad."
Mona swallowed trying to keep her tears from falling.
"Listen girls, I want you to know something okay?"
The girls nodded and listened to Mona.
"No matter what." Mona said "No matter how angry I get, no matter how upset I am, I love you! I love you so much! And nothing will ever change that!"
She then opened her arms so the girls could go to her for a hug which they did and Mona held them both close to her.
"My beautiful girls!" Mona whispered "I love you both so much! And no matter what! I'll always be there, and from today, I promise I will push away my darkness and be there for you both! You're the most precious things in my life and nothing will ever change that!"
Pandora smiled as tears filled her own eyes and she hugged her mother close.
Kemeko did the same thing.
"I love you mummy!" Pandora squeaked.
"I love you too Aunt Mona!" Kemeko agreed "So much!"
"I love you too babies!" Mona smiled "Don't worry! I'm here for both of you! That's a promise! And I never break my promises!"
Watching from the doorway, the turtles and Splinter smiled at the sight.
"Well done Sensei!" Leonardo said "I knew you could do it!"
Splinter winked.
"Mona has suffered greatly in this short period, and she will need the support of us to help her, and I believe this is the first step to helping her break free of the darkness that is haunting her."
"I will help her in any way I can Master!" Raphael said clenching his fists in determination "I will! I'll die for her! I'll make sure she's okay!"
"And we'll help too!" Donatello agreed.
"Ditto!" Michelangelo added.
"As will I!" Leonardo said.
Splinter smiled at his sons then looked back at Mona as she embraced Kemeko and Pandora.
"Well done my Daughter." he said softly "Let go of the darkness and see the light that is in front of you."
Awww, such sweet moments there, everyone understands Mona's pain, but hopefully she's recognised the darkness within her is strong and she needs to see the light, and her family are there for her!