Chapter 56 – Opening the Heart

"No lacewings cancel out wolfsbane when mixed with beetle eyes," Snape said as he paced the room his sleeves rolled up, as Anna sat on the desk head in her hands. There was parchment and books scattered all over the desk a cauldron sat in front of them bubbling and emitting a purple smoke. There were ingredients and things in glass jars on the table behind them. Anna and Snape had been there for three hours and it was Wednesday night, they had been working on the potion for two weeks now. It was the Christmas holidays in two days and they both wanted to get further than they were. Anna hadn't told anybody what she was doing, she had a feeling they wouldn't like her working with Snape. She wasn't looking for a fight so she just didn't mention it.

"What about stirring it clockwise three times then adding the lacewings after shredding them, the surface area would be greater…"

"…making the reaction faster," finished Snape. He hurried over to the cauldron and shredded the lacewings and then added them. The potion turned from purple to green. Snape smiled a rare occurrence and Anna grinned.

"Thank Merlin I thought we were going to be here all night," he said, "well I think we should leave it there for the evening." Anna got up and gathered all her parchment and books together and put them in her bag. After helping Snape clean up she went back to the common room. She sat down next to Remus and Nicky. Sirius and Lupin were attempting to decorate the common room with decoration they stole from the kitchens. They were currently just throwing it across the room making a mess.

Ever since James had died Lupin had become Sirius' partner in crime. Anna and Lupin avoided each other some times and at others they got along perfectly, neither of them wanting to talk about anything to do with their relationship. Both too scared to make it worse.

"Where have you been?" Lupin asked coming to sit next to her. Remus got up and went to throw some decorations with Sirius. "I need to do my transfiguration homework."

"Give it here," Anna said. She was in too good a mood to argue with him. She had also started to ignore the painful twinge in her heart when she sat next to him. She took his homework and looked it over correcting it and gave it back. He took it and rewrote what Anna had corrected. While he was doing that Remus and Sirius came back Anna watched Remus and Nicky interact. She watched as Remus said something and Nicky laughed whether it was funny or not. She noticed they were sitting rather closer than normal.

"Nicky," Anna said. Nicky didn't hear her she seemed to be engrossed in what Remus was saying. Anna nudged Lupin and Sirius who looked at her in question. She tilted her head towards them; Lupin looked at them for a moment then grinned. Anna knew what he was thinking.

"Nicky… NICKY," Anna shouted. Nicky jumped and glared at Anna.

"What?" she asked impatiently. Anna, Lupin and Sirius laughed.

"Are you going home for Christmas?" Anna asked.

"Yes I am," she said looking back towards Remus who looked at her sideways.

"You are?" He asked in what sounded like a hurt voice.

"Yeah I thought you were as well?"

"No I am staying here. Dad will be here anyway and mum is working so there would be no point staying." Nicky looked upset at this. Sirius got up and mumbled something about going to the library. Anna looked at Lupin with her eyebrows raised he tilted his head to the corner, Anna reluctantly got up. She and Lupin hadn't spent anytime alone in a very long time. Anna tried to avoid this.

"When did that happen," he asked as they sat in the corner by the window. Anna shrugged she hadn't been around much recently.

"Don't know but I am going to have to have words with her," she said watching Remus and Nicky. Nicky was now running her hand through Remus's hair which was now down to his shoulders. Remus's was hitting her hand away playfully.

"Why?" Lupin asked sharply.

"Because I want to make sure her intentions are good, I don't want her to hurt my friend," she said. "Yes, contrary to popular belief I do want my friends to be happy." She said glancing casually at Lupin.

"So, if Remus and Nicky went out you wouldn't be annoyed," Lupin asked.

"No, I would be happy for them. Why would I be annoyed I don't like Remus like that," she said coolly. They sat in silence for a few moments as Anna watched the snow fall outside. Lupin looked like he was going to say something but he kept changing his mind. Worried that what he would say might start everything up again she said she was going to bed.

She was running down the street looking for her mother, she came to a dark, dank alleyway and looked through a window. Her mother was sitting tied to a chair. Anna watched as her mother was tortured and then suddenly Anna was the one being tortured, she watched as Draco Malfoy drew closer to her he raised his wand and Anna felt her arm break, then blood trickled down her arm and fell in droplets on to the floor. She wanted to scream out loud. She was screaming…

Anna woke up shaking and a cold sweat creeping down her back. She got up shivering. Outside it was still snowing and the grounds looked peaceful. Anna went down to the common room. She took her blanket with her and sat in the arm chair next to the fire. She didn't know how long she sat there staring at the fire, thinking. Suddenly a prickling on the back of her neck made her sit up and still; he focused her eyes to the far corner of the common room. A figure emerged from the boys' stair case. Anna relaxed a bit, and pulled the blanket closer to her. She was still shivering.

"What are you doing up?" the voice from the stairs asked.

"I could ask you the same thing," Anna said.

"Remus is snoring, and I can't sleep I keep thinking about something." Lupin said sitting opposite her.

"Something?" she asked.

"Someone."

"Who?" Anna said remembering the conversation she had overheard in Weasley Wizards Wheezes. Since then she had managed to tone pain down to a dull throb.

"You know who," he said raising his eyebrows.

"Voldemort?"

"No."

"Who then?" she said icily.

"It's rather obvious, she's the only girl I ever loved," Lupin said looking down. Anna felt her heart crack she didn't think she could take much more and tears started to form. He never loved her.

"Well I am sure Alison will be happy to know that."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"No… you think I love Alison?"

"Well who else would it be?" Anna asked. Lupin didn't say anything he just looked at her, Anna couldn't tell his expression it was too dark. She laughed sadly and got up to go back to bed. She reached the bottom of the stairs when Lupin spoke words she never thought he would say to her.

"It's you, you idiot,"

Shaking slightly she said, "but when I went out with Eric I went to find you and over heard you saying to George you would never go out with me again, not after the way I acted this summer."

"I was talking about Alison; I would never go out with her again. After Voldemort killed Mary, her best friend she asked me out again. Then this summer her father was killed by Death Eaters and two days later owled me asking to go out again." Anna stood in shocked silence. She felt very stupid, her cheeks felt very hot she was sure they could be seen from space. She had been an idiot; she let out a small 'oh'.

"I can't believe you thought this all the time. You really should get all the facts before jumping to a conclusion." He teased, then sensing how embarrassed she must have been said. "So why are you up?"

No other words had ever brought her back to reality as quickly as she remembered why she was awake. She decided the time had come. She went and sat next to him on the couch.

"I was sitting on the bench in Kings Cross, a hand came over my mouth and I tried to scream I tried to get away… they were too strong…" Anna continued to talk she told Lupin everything she told him about how they chained her to the wall, how they used spells on her. She told him everyday she was there. Then she told him about her escape and her week running away from them. Then how she got back and her time in the hospital, and how she had been researching until at least 2am every day and then not sleeping well. He left her talk uninterrupted until she had tears falling down her face and his pajamas were soaked through. Lupin had a hand on her head stroking her hair. Anna stopped talking and looked up at Lupin. He was looking intently at the fire. He looked back at her and moved closer and he hugged her tightly. He wanted to protect her, Anna buried her head into his chest and he stroked her head. He pulled the covers back over them, they had been falling off. Anna felt safe in his arms she wished she could stay like that forever. She had opened her heart to Lupin again, she was feeling very vulnerable.

"Please don't," she said to herself more than to Lupin.

"Don't what?" he asked quietly.

"Don't break my heart again," she said gulping for breath.

"I… you mean… you will give me another chance?" He asked his voice shaking slightly. Anna looked up at him and smiled. He bent down and kissed her. It had been too long since she last did this. They pulled back breathing deeply.

"I love you, I always have even before I knew your real name," he said and Anna suddenly felt exhausted she smiled kissing him lightly on the lips. A thought suddenly occurred to her. Something that didn't quite add up.

"On Halloween when I got hit with the stunning spell I heard someone shout your name not James," Anna said.

"No one told you what happened?"

"I never asked it brought back to many painful memories."

"Well I saw the two Death Eaters about to attack you and I shouted your name to get your attention, but what I didn't see was James who was standing almost right next to you. He saw what was going to happen and jumped in front of the killing curse," Lupin said sadly. Anna knew how hard it was to relive experiences like that and put a comforting hand on his. "But your dad didn't see James he only saw me running toward you, so he thought I had gotten hit."

Anna was replaying the last moments in her head. It all made sense now, the shouts, the running, and the voices.