Part Three
From the void, he stood in the corner of her room and watched her sob into her pillows. And a debate raged within him over whether or not he should materialize in her realm. Would speaking to her, touching her, help her or make matters worse? Would giving her the knowledge of his fate free her to love or condemn her to limbo?
"Oh, Cole…" Phoebe's voice quivered, "Oh, Cole, I'm so sorry…"
And his debate ended. "I'm sorry too…"
She continued, her face buried in her pillow, "I never told you, never had the chance, and now, now you're gone and you'll never know…"
"But I do know," he assured her as he cautiously approached the bed and sat next to her, "I've always known."
"How could you?" Phoebe cried, oblivious to the added weight on the bed, oblivious to the fingers stroking her hair. "How could you when I didn't know myself? When I didn't let myself?"
"You were hurt," Cole explained as he leaned close and began stroking her arm, "and I was the one who hurt you."
"I was so angry," she began to stir, "I thought I hated you or, worse, that I felt nothing." She pushed herself to her elbows and turned to him, "But I didn't, Cole, I loved you."
He nodded and caressed her cheek, "I know."
Phoebe threw her arms around his neck, "I'm so sorry, Cole! I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough, for not fighting hard enough, for not --"
"Shhhh," he soothed, "we've both had enough 'I'm sorry's to last an eternity. It's time to let it go."
"I thought I had," she sobbed into his neck, "I thought I closed the door to the past. I thought I could finally start fresh with no baggage. But it's not happening…"
"No one said you had to slam the door," he chuckled. "You can keep it ajar…just in case…"
"In case of what?" she scoffed. "In case you come back?"
"In case of this," he murmured as his lips found hers.
Breathless, Phoebe pulled back and gazed at him through stunned eyes. Eyes that widened as she finally realized she wasn't imagining his presence. "You're here…"
"For the moment," he agreed as he brushed his thumb along her lower lip.
"But you're gone," she whispered.
"Not exactly…" He smiled despite her confusion, "Talk to Piper." And, satisfied he hadn't ended up hurting her further, he pushed himself back in order to stand.
"Wait! I don't understand. You're leaving?"
He wanted to smile to reassure her but couldn't, "I have to…before it's any harder…"
"But how'd you even get here?" she persisted as she scrambled off the bed and grabbed his hand to stop him.
"I can't stay, Phoebe."
"Just for a while," she pleaded as tears filled her eyes. "There's still so much I want to say, so much I need to say."
Cole caressed her cheek, "Even when you hurt me, I knew it was because you loved me. And I know you still do. And I know that you haven't been able to move on since I…left. But, honey, you have to try. You can't give up on love."
"I haven't!"
"But you're not quite there yet," he acknowledged. "You're still torn between wanting to believe wholeheartedly and those nagging warnings your heart sends your brain."
"You know how I felt about love," she reminded him. "You know how hard it was for me to accept."
"Because you'd been hurt by it," he nodded, "but you've also seen its power, first-hand, and you kno--"
"Look," she interrupted, "I know Piper and Leo are destined to be --"
"I wasn't talking about them," he retorted, "and you know it!"
She stared at him for a moment before apologizing, "I know."
Cole's voice softened as he suggested, "Think of your little girl. Think of the love that still awaits you. Don't give up on her or any other future children, Phoebe, don't give up on love."
But Phoebe barely heard past his first sentence, "How do you know about her?"
"It doesn't matter," he shook his head. "Just promise me you won't give up."
She stared at the floor, "You, of all people, know that some things aren't meant to be."
"Damn it, Phoebe, listen to me! You're meant to love and be loved. You're meant to --"
"I wish everyone would stop telling me what I'm meant to be," she interrupted as she spun from him. "Go back, Cole, go back to wherever I called you from."
"I can't," he argued, "not until I'm sure you're safe."
"Safe from what?" she half-cried. "I'm happy with my life, is that what you need to hear? Fine, I'm happy, Cole! I've got this great new apartment, my job couldn't be better, Paige is getting married, and Piper's…well, we're working on it…So just go away and stop reminding me of…"
"Of what?" he gently urged as he came up behind her and ran his hands along her shoulders.
"Of what could have been," she whispered as she leaned back against him. She turned in his arms and wrapped hers around his waist. She pressed a kiss to his chest, "Make me believe…"
Much to his dismay, his body, solid for the moment, responded to her actions and he stifled a moan of pleasure as her fingers deftly unbuttoned his shirt and slid between the fabric and his bare skin. "Phoebe, no…"
"Make me believe," she ordered between kisses, "convince me we weren't wrong to love…to still love…"
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Sprawled on top of him, Phoebe trailed kisses up Cole's chest, "You always made me feel so safe…so loved…"
"I'm glad," he murmured while he let his fingers lightly trace circles along her back. "You did the same for me, you know."
She froze for a moment before pressing her cheek to his chest. "I'm glad," she echoed.
They lay entwined under the covers, secure in their comfort and love of one another. But it didn't last long before Phoebe's hand began playfully wandering.
And Cole grabbed it more firmly than he'd intended and he fiercely demanded, "Promise me you won't give up."
Surprised by his rough actions, she gazed into his eyes and finally acknowledged the severity of his request with a simple nod, "I won't."
He brought her hand to his lips and placed light kisses on her fingertips before he brushed away some hair from her eyes. "Love is worth all the pain, Phoebe."
She didn't reply, merely pressed herself closer to him. But when his body seemed to relax beneath hers, she quietly informed him, "Either love will happen for me, Cole, or it won't. I meant what I said about wanting to find love again but I refuse to become obsessed with finding it all for the sake of making some premonition come true."
"That's not why you should find love," he countered. "Having a child with someone you love would be…I don't know, an added bonus. Isn't that why you didn't go through with your idea of artificial insemination?"
"There you go again," she propped herself up on her elbows, "where have you been that you know all this stuff about me?"
"Kiss me," he grinned.
"Not until I get some answers," she pouted. "Now, mister," she poked him in the chest. "If I'm supposed to find this love knowing full well that there's this terrible evil coming, I want to know. I need to know. And I know you know something…"
He leaned forward and gave her a quick, hard kiss, "You know I can't tell you anything. I can't risk your changing what your--"
She pushed him down, "So we win? Well of course we do, we're the Charmed Ones. When does it happen?"
He couldn't help but smile as he shook his head, "Won't work, Phoebe, I'm not letting anything slip."
"Can't blame a witch for trying," she shrugged as she settled herself back down on his chest.
Cole's fingers toyed softly with her hair, "You understand the dangers of knowing the future. Every choice you make leads to hundreds of consequences and you won't know which are for the better or for the worse until after the fact." He felt wetness on his skin and gently wiped away some tears, "Sleep, Phoebe, it will all look better in the morning."
"You won't be here in the morning," she whispered without looking at him.
He didn't know what to say because she was right, and they both knew it. "I meant every word in that letter," he finally said.
Phoebe raised her head slightly and gazed at him, "And I forgive you, Cole, for all of it if only because you gave me the happiest and most stable relationship I've ever had."
"Stable?" he laughed, "now I'm sure you need your sleep."
As if on cue, Phoebe stifled a yawn, "Fine, maybe not stable but it was the longest, most passionate, most wond--"
Cole cut her off with a kiss, "I know, babe, I know."
She rested her head back on his chest. "Thank you…"
"For what?" he prompted when she stopped speaking.
"For tonight," she sighed as she snuggled closer, "for everything, for, for loving me…"
"That won't ever change," he promised.
"Me too," she smiled sleepily as she finally gave in to her exhaustion.
"I'm sorry you won't remember in the morning," he softly apologized. "But it's the only way to ensure youkeep your promise and move on." Phoebe stirred in his arms and he kissed the top of her head. She sighed happily and he wrapped his arms tighter around her. "Keep the door ajar, Phoebe," he requested while he continued to caress her body, memorize the feel of her, the scent of her, "and one day we will find each other again."
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