I'm sorry Marissa, I really am… but I don't think I'm ready, not right now, not here at least. I love you so much Marissa Cooper and I wasn't you so badly, but right now I'm not ready for this…" Alex said it softly and couldn't look in Marissa's eyes; she avoided her beautiful eyes as much as possible. When their eyes did meet they noticed that each one of each other's was filled with complete sadness. "Come here Marissa." Alex said softly and Marissa leaned down. Alex put her hand behind Marissa's neck and kissed her, Alex kissed her so hard, but she wasn't completely ready for everything. When the kiss broke their foreheads remained connected and their eyes remained closed. Alex whispered two barely audible works. "I'm sorry."
"We should probably go see the club now." Marissa said quietly. She got up off the bed and sat down on the other double bed in the room. Marissa wasn't sure why Alex just denied her. She was hurt now... Alex remained laying in bed with a dejected look upon her face. She felt bad, really bad. As much as Alex loved Marissa she didn't want this now, well she did want it, but not at that moment. She had something planned for Saturday and she wanted to hold back as much as she could until then. The holding back was starting to get harder, Alex needed to feel Marissa, she needed to hold her and kiss her. She needed Marissa. Alex sat up and saw Marissa sitting on the other bed with her head in her hands. Alex hated doing this, she loved Marissa so much. She got up and went and sat next to Marissa. She took Marissa's hand in her own; she opened Marissa's revealing her palm and lightly kissed it.
"I want you to know that my decision to wait has nothing to do with you. Because I want nothing more than to make love to you and you to me. I love you M. I love you more than anything or anyone in the entire world." Alex took Marissa's hand and put it up to her own face. She let go and Marissa kept it here. "Come here M." Alex said as Marissa moved closer to Alex and looked at her. Alex smiled at her brightly she slowly moved in to kiss Marissa. The two kissed and Alex let Marissa know how much she loved her again. Marissa still was upset about things but she ignored the thoughts as Alex kissed her.
"Come on, let's go Alex. I want to go see the club." Marissa repeated her earlier statement.
"Okay, let go." Alex stood up and walked towards the door. "Do you still want to go out tonight with Audrey and her friend?"
"Yes, I do. It sounds like a lot of fun. It will let us meet some new people…" Marissa added nonchalantly.
The two left the hotel and continued their earlier walk. Alex took Marissa's hand in her own. She lightly squeezed it, hoping for a response but got nothing. Alex weakly smiled. She didn't want to push the subject anymore. She hoped that tonight would help; they were going to have an awesome time she hoped. After walking for ten minutes the two arrived at the Hampton Beach Casino Ballroom. It was located in a strip mall of sorts. Six doors side by side were the main entrance. Alex took the key Nat had given her and opened up the club. She guided Marissa to the main room, a dark, bare open space. There was a rather good sized stage in the front and a long bar in the back. If you looked up above the bar there were fifteen luxury skyboxes, with perfect unobstructed views of the main floor and stage area.
"Wow…" Marissa muttered as she took in her surroundings. "This place is going to be awesome. It is almost twice the size of the Bait Shop. It is huge Al. Wow. This is great." Marissa said this slightly enthused. She was still upset about Alex denying her.
"I'm happy you like it. Yeah it is huge. Hey you, come here…" Alex said as she stood in the middle of the main room with one arm out stretched towards Marissa. The brunette turned towards her and walked back over to Alex. Alex put her arms around Marissa's neck and Marissa let her arms hang at her sides. Alex closed her eyes as she moved in to feel Marissa's lips. It seemed forced at first, but then Marissa gave in and kissed her back. Her side of the kiss was full of upset and hurt and Alex's was full of love and passion. The opposite emotions made the kiss hard and intense. When it ended Marissa just backed up and sat on the stage.
"It is a great place." Marissa said her voice full of sadness.
"Yeah, it is." Alex stared blankly at Marissa, unsure of what had just happened. That kiss was amazing, but she had a feeling Marissa wasn't thinking the same thing. The two didn't speak as they both waited for the other to break the lingering silence. Eventually Marissa got up and walked backstage. She wanted to explore the new club a bit more, without Alex. Marissa just needed to think, about everything, whether she thought is this was a mistake or not. She loved Alex with all her heart; she just wanted to show her. They had done it so many times, when they were together the first time. They never thought twice about doing it. Why the sudden change? What made this time different?
Marissa looked behind her, hoping Alex followed her. She was slightly disappointed when no one was there. Whatever she thought, if Alex didn't want her, she didn't want Alex. She was right though, she didn't want Alex, and she needed her. Alex needed her as well. They needed each other. After walking around backstage for about 15 minutes, Marissa walked back out to the main room. Alex wasn't there. The room was empty; she looked around for the blond. She didn't see her anywhere. She decided to head upstairs in hopes to find her. She walked up the stairs and announced her presence when she got to the top.
"Alex, are you up here?" She asked aloud.
"Yeah, I'm in one of the boxes, number nine I think." Alex replied, her voice distant.
"Okay." Marissa walked down the wide hallway, looking into the boxes in hopes of finding Alex. She came to number nine and Alex was sitting in a chair looking out at the stage. "Hey, I didn't know here you went. I got nervous."
"I bet." Alex relied quickly. Marissa stepped back as she realized the sharp response.
It is too soon for us to fight damn it. Three days into our relationship and we are fighting. Great, just fucking great. Marissa thought to herself. She sat down next to Alex and stared out at the stage. "I'm getting hungry, do you want to get lunch. We could walk a few more blocks and find something."
"Sure, I'm starving. Yeah, hopefully we will find something. We'd be out of luck if everything was closed."
"That's for sure." The two walked back out to the street and another six blocks before they found an open restaurant. It was a rather big place, for levels of dining. They were immediately seated by the bartender name Cara. She showed them to a cozy corner booth on the main level. The two girls sat quietly as they looked over the menu. Cara came back with their drinks and told them a little about the specials. The girls ordered and remained silent. Marissa was upset at Alex for rejecting her, but Alex was upset at Marissa for being upset. They were being very childish. Alex finally broke the wall between them. "Why the hell are you so upset at me? I can't take this…" Alex exclaimed in defeat.
"I'm sorry, how would you feel if the person love rejected you. I think you'd be upset too." Marissa quickly replied.
"This is why you are upset. Because I'm not ready to take this to the next level. Marissa, I love you. I want nothing more than to make love to you. Damn it, don't you see how much I love you. Everything I've done for you, said to you, you are everything to me. I'm just not ready yet. I though YOU of all people would respect that." Alex quipped back angrily.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Marissa asked sharply.
"I'm just saying, back when we were first together you were very hesitant. It took you a while to get used adjusted. I thought you might've understood, what it is like, not wanted to rush into things right away. I love you Marissa, I just want to go slow in some areas of our relationship, where I am not completely ready yet…" Alex looked up at Marissa, her eyes full of sadness.
"So now you are using our past as an excuse? Alex if you don't want me, just tell me that. I can handle the truth."
"You obviously can't, seeing as I'm trying to tell you the truth and you think I'm full of shit." Alex argued her point. The food came, interrupting their argument. They ate in silence, when the check cam they split it. They left the restaurant and walked back to the hotel in silence. When they got to the room they collapsed on separate beds. Sleep quickly overtook both of them.
At 8:15 there was a knock on the door that woke the two girls up. Alex was closest to the door so she answered it. It was Audrey. "Hey, did I wake you up? I'm sorry, I'll go." She stated as she covered her mouth with her hand. "I feel bad for waking you."
"No, don't worry about it. We were just napping before you cam to get us. Don't worry." Alex replied. "Marissa, you ready to go?" Alex turned towards the brunette who was fixing her hair.
"Yep, I am. Let's go." Marissa said cheerfully as she walked towards the door. The three girls walked down to Audrey's BMW.
"So Audrey, tell us more about this party. What is it for?" Alex asked.
"Marina has these thinks like twice a month. It is private thing; she usually gets a small band to perform. They're a lot of fun." Audrey relied casually.
"Cool, so she'll have no problem if we come?"
"Nope. She told me to invite you. It'll be fun, I promise, people around here try to get into them all the time. I have an in with the owner."
"How do you know Marina?" Marissa questioned.
"We've been together now for about six months. I was walking past the café one afternoon in early May. I saw her through the window she thought she was the most gorgeous women I had ever seen before. I went in everyday for the next two weeks and I would always be captivated by her beauty. As I was ordering one day she asked me if I wanted to go to her party that night. Of course I said yes, and ever since then we have been together."
"If she owns her own café she is obviously older than you, how old is she?" Marissa questioned Audrey.
"She will be thirty-five in January. She is sixteen years older than me, but that has never been a concern for us." Audrey answered casually as she always did. Alex noticed that she was a very nonchalant person; she didn't seem to worry much about things. Alex envied her for that, she wish she didn't have to worry about anything. As of right now she had to worry about where her relationship with Marissa was going. They had been fighting all afternoon. She was starting to just get upset at her self for being upset.
After about fifteen minutes in the car they pulled up to a large café in Hampton Falls, a very small town next to Hampton Beach. They got out of the car and walked in. The way Audrey walked was simple, she looked like she was floating on her, and Alex could tell that she was a very happy person. When she saw Audrey go up to who she assumed was Marina, Audrey's face lit up.
"Marina, these are my two new friends who I met this morning when I was writing." Audrey introduced us to the gorgeous, tall brunette in front of us. "This is Marissa and Alex, they are the two who are going to manage the Casino Ballroom this summer."
"Very nice to meet you ladies. Welcome to the Falls Café." Marina said as she looked at Marissa and Alex. Her accent was exotic, it was like nothing either of the girls had ever heard before."
"Thank you, thanks for inviting us. Audrey told us how popular your parties are!" Alex spoke.
"Oh, did she? She brags too much…" Marina and Audrey looked into each other's eyes and anyone who saw this could tell the two were in love. "She enjoys it though."
"I don't brag, I just like to tell people how wonderful you are." Audrey moved closer to Marina and put her arm around Marina's waist, Marina did the same to Audrey. Together the two were gorgeous. Alex thought about how in love those two were and wondered if her and Marissa would ever love each other like that.
"Okay, whatever you say… did she tell you about how SHE seduced ME? She loves telling that story." Marina inquired.
"No, I didn't tell them all of it." Audrey replied shyly.
"Well, sit down, get comfy, she will tell you now…"
"Thanks Marina." She looked over at her lover and smiled softly. "Okay, I told you briefly about how me met… well as I said before I was walking by one afternoon. I saw her through the window as she was working. She happened to look up and smile at me, I of course smiled back. The next day I went in, but she wasn't working. I quite upset, I wanted to see her again. I sat in a corner booth and just looked out the window. Little did I know she was watching me the entire time from her office. When I got up to leave, I saw her at her desk and she quickly looked away. From that day on, for the next two weeks I would go in, alone and sit at the same booth. When she was working out front I'd always steal small glances at her. I'd smile and so would she. If she was in her office, we'd smile brightly at one another when I went to leave. Then one day it was literally empty n here. She was the only one working too. I came in and she had my coffee ready for me just how I like it. She sat with me and we talked, I flirted, a lot. Well so did she, but not nearly as much as I did. She invited me to the party that night. After I finished my coffee I left. When I cam back later that night the place was packed, there was music, everything just like tonight. I had to make my move, I was falling for her so hard. I saw her go into her office and followed her in there. I closed the door behind me, which startled her and she turned towards me. I took her hands in mine and kissed her. We backed up against the wall. It started off slow and then it deepened. Before I knew it, she broke away. She stared at me and I stared back. I wasn't about to give up, she made me feel something I had never felt towards someone. She broke the silence. 'That was… amazing, but… I don't think we should do this.' I looked at her and replied, 'Why not?' She looked at me and had thought in her eyes. 'Audrey, you are only 17, I am 34.' I was quite upset at her for using age as the reason she didn't want to pursue a relationship. 'Oh please Marina, that has nothing do with any of this, and you know that.' She looked down at the ground, knowing that she was defeated. She let her arms down and walked over tome. She put her hand to my face and smiled, she kissed me so passionately. When she broke away she softly said, 'You are too mature sometimes.' We smiled at each other once again. And well, that's about it, we've been together ever since, and it has been the most amazing six months of my life." Audrey finished her story and looked up at Marina, Marina kissed her lightly on the lips.
"And mine as well." Marina softly spoke. Alex and Marissa looked on and could see the love and adoration that surrounded Audrey and Marina.